Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ The Shepherd ❯ The Way To Eden ( Chapter 3 )

~*Part Three - The Way To Eden*~

I was once told I was to shepherd the devil…A man so horrible that not even Hell would keep him…

I wish I could tell him…I want to tell him everything about what's happened…how I know so much about him…I want nothing more than for that pained confusion to be erased from that beautiful face of his, because I understand now…I understand what it was that was in his eyes long ago, mingled with his pain and frustration. He's known too much grief for this to continue, and yet, because of this damned bargain I made, I have to watch him flounder in a sea of confusion, endlessly lost within himself…I hate hiding behind this cloak as though I have something to fear…I suppose I'm the one who has to be patient…

I never shepherded the devil…Imagine my surprise when I realized too late that I'd been shepherding an angel that entire time…

~*~

Vash awoke late that morning; the sun was shining in through the open window directly onto his face, and with a mumbled groan, he threw an arm over his face and rolled over, his brow furrowed. He'd dreamed of Wolfwood again. The priest haunted his dreams like a relentless specter, standing just over the last rise, and Vash would walk through the desert towards him, but as always, he'd remain just out of reach…But he'd seemed closer tonight…Vash was almost certain that his fingertips had graced the front of the man's black jacket before the sun had interrupted his slumber, and awoken him. Trembling slightly, he laid there, staring at the sandstone wall for a moment as he heard the footfalls of a man who was undoubtedly the shepherd behind him, gathering things about with a faint rustling noise.

With a sigh, the outlaw succumbed to the inevitable and rolled over onto his back and turned his head towards the other side of the little hovel, where the cloaked man was preparing what looked like the rations for the day's travels. A warm breeze breathed in through the open door, casting a few grains of sand along the stoop, but a flicker of crimson upon the wall caught his eye, and he sat up sharply, eyes widening as he took in the sight before him.

Hanging upon a simple hook in the wall was a rather familiar red duster, waving slightly in the light breeze as though it'd been hanging there for a long time. Everything was identical…right down to the very last button…The same crimson coat he'd worn those many years ago as a symbol of his determination and memory of Rem. Resting on the chair right beside it was the sturdy black body suit that went beneath the coat, complete with the tall boots and black gloves. Vash exhaled slowly, looking numbly at what had obviously been laid out for him.

"Ah…I thought you might have an affinity for the color red," the shepherd's voice came, and Vash tore his eyes away to look up at the man, who had spoken without turning towards the outlaw. "It's a bit better for wear when traipsing across the desert, and I didn't want to have to drag you to Eden because you passed out again from dehydration and heatstroke," he commented wryly, and finally turned, holding two canteens and a pair of apples. "Not that it's terribly far to Eden from here, but we can't be too careful…I've had my fair share of being stuck out in the desert without water before…not pleasant," he remarked with a chuckle as he sat down and watched Vash's shocked expression in faint amusement.

"I…" Vash began to say, but found that he could find no words to express the jumble of emotions that he was feeling at the moment. The shepherd chuckled faintly and waved a hand at him gently, reclining in his chair a bit.

"Go on and get dressed…we've got a long walk ahead of us and it'd be nice to get started before the sun gets too hot overhead," he remarked, crossing his arms loosely. Vash watched him quietly for a moment, too stunned to do much else, before he finally crawled out of bed and stood, looking at the coat that had long been his trademark with stunned, glistening eyes. He reached out with trembling fingers to touch the heavy red canvas coat and the shining buttons that lined the front, and closed his eyes, remembering the meaning behind the coat and the woman he'd worn it in remembrance of.

Several minutes later, Vash found himself standing before the shepherd dressed in clothing he never thought he'd see, much less wear, again, surrounded by the painful memories that the red coat brought…and the wonderful memories as well. He was wringing his hands slightly as the man arose and strode over to him, but paused as he was offered a bright red apple for his breakfast.

"Here…you're probably hungry…and you won't need to worry about lunch," the man remarked, and after Vash had taken the fruit, he held up one of the canteens, and leaned forward, bringing the strap up and over Vash's shoulder. "And this is so you won't pass out on the way there," he remarked, clearly grinning lightly, though it could only be inferred. But as the shepherd leaned forward to grant him the container, a bit of sunlight shone in from the window and illuminated part of the face beneath the hood. Though it was brief, Vash caught a glimpse of a strong chin graced with travel-worn stubble, as though the man had no access to a razor out here in the middle of the desert. The glance was short-lived, because as soon as the shepherd realized his error, he drew back quickly and pulled the cloak closer about his head.

"Thank you," Vash said softly, averting his eyes in apology as he watched his host turn away and sling his own canteen carelessly over his own shoulder.

"Of course," came the slightly gruff reply, and after a moment, the shepherd stepped towards the door and beckoned for Vash to follow. "Come on…before the suns get too high overhead," he said, and stepped out into the desert. Vash couldn't help but notice that the man still did not leave any footprints, and was still a bit alarmed by the fact that he wasn't leaving any either. But follow the stranger he did, and soon, the small hovel had vanished from the horizon, and they were surrounded by nothing but flat, bleak sand as far as the eye could see.

"How do you know the way to Eden without a compass or map?"

"The way to Eden is well-traveled. You just have to know it's there to find it…"

Vash frowned slightly at this, wishing that this stranger would quit speaking so cryptically. He'd asked many questions, and even though the shepherd answered him, he had a way about him where he talked a lot but said very little.

Silence reigned between them for a long while as they trekked across the desert, and though Vash couldn't tell whether the shepherd meant to be silent or if he was waiting for him to strike up a conversation, he couldn't help but wonder…

"…I know you're not my brother, Shepherd," he finally said as they stepped over a small dune. "But…you know so much about me. Things that only my brother knows…things that only people who have long been dead could know…I wonder…" Vash paused for a moment, turning his head slightly to regard the shepherd's cloaked profile with inquisitive viridian eyes. "Do you know my brother? Are you connected to him in some way that lets you know all this?"

The shepherd suddenly seemed to hesitate at the question, his stride pausing slightly before he recovered and continued on. He was silent for a moment, as though in thought, and finally sighed, as though the memory of something pained him greatly.

"I was…once," he remarked quietly, and said nothing more. Vash knew well not to press the matter, but it seemed to sate his curiosity. It certainly explained a bit of why the man knew so much.

"You dreamed about him again, didn't you?"

"What?" Vash asked, startled by the sudden intrusion of the shepherd's slightly gruff, warm voice.

"You dreamed of the priest again…Nicholas D. Wolfwood…didn't you?"

Vash looked at the shepherd quietly for a moment, once again rendered silent by the man's intuition. Was this guy some sort of mind reader?

The shepherd chuckled faintly at Vash's dumbfounded expression, shaking his head faintly.

"You talk in your sleep, Vash," he explained simply, turning his shrouded head slightly to glance over at the outlaw. Vash looked slowly down at his boots, looking a bit forlorn.

"I've missed him…it's been…a long time since I've seen him, and even longer until I see him again." Vash paused. "If I ever do see him again."

"He loved you, you know." Vash inhaled slightly as the shepherd spoke of the long dead priest, turning to face the man sharply as he heard those impossibly true words. "He was never very good at speaking about the softer emotions, especially when it came to you. He always came off as rough and somewhat callous, but that's because he didn't know how to approach the subject…and then he ran out of time…" The shepherd's voice had grown a bit quiet now, and Vash was staring at him in numb disbelief. He couldn't comprehend the fact that Wolfwood, who, right up until the moment he died was ever an enigma, had borne feelings for him as well. It was too cruel a thought…too wrenching a pain…

"So much that he left unsaid," the shepherd said softly. "Be assured that he regrets it now, Vash."

Vash closed his eyes as the old pain long buried began to resurface along his scarred heart. He'd tried to forget that he'd ever had any feelings for the renegade priest; he'd almost been able to convince himself of it…but sometimes, in the dark, lonely nights, he'd think back on the ways things had been before, when he'd still been a broken man, but had still been somewhat whole…He was shattered now, and there was no one left to help him pick up his pieces…

"What…is this Eden like?" Vash finally said, his voice slightly broken and forlorn. If this place was as wonderful as this shepherd was making it out to be…perhaps he would finally find solace here…

The shepherd took a breath, as though he too, was a bit melancholy after their recent conversation, and sighed.

"It's a huge city...more people dwell there than you can possibly imagine. All very good people. The streets are not so dusty, and golden...and you'll see people there you never imagined you'd find anywhere else..." he paused, and cast a shrouded look over at Vash for a moment. "Surely a utopia for your peaceful soul…"

Vash was silent as he considered the man's cryptic words, and turned his eyes back to the horizon, looking solemn and silent.

Suddenly, after several hours of hiking, a small black rise appeared on the horizon, wavering slightly from the heat that rose up from the ground. Vash sighed as he lowered his half-empty canteen from his lips, closing his eyes thankfully.

"Oh thank God…I thought we'd never get here…"

"That's exactly what the Israelites thought when they finally arrived on the borders of Jordan after 40 years of being lost in the desert," the shepherd said wisely as he raised a hand and put it warmly on Vash's shoulder. "You aren't unlike those Israelites. Lost in the desert of your own being for 100 years...it must have been very lonely without anyone else...Maybe you'll find yourself here…"

Vash nodded vaguely and closed his eyes for a moment as they walked on, but as he did so, a soft, strangely cool breeze kissed his face, and caused him to raise his head sharply in surprise. It was gentle and sweet smelling, far removed from the gritty, coarse winds that usually blew on this planet, and confusion flickered through the outlaw's eyes before it was slowly replaced with stunned awe. Surely…what he was seeing before him…It couldn't be real. There was no way that it could possibly exist out here.

The sweet scent of flowers hung in the fresh breeze as it beckoned he and the shepherd into a garden the likes of which Vash had never seen…Even the most skilled hologram on the SEEDS ship as a child paled in comparison to such beauty…The trees stood tall as they came closer, and the desert was swiftly vanishing under their feet as the grass sprang up before them in a veritable carpet of plush green. Already, the gunslinger could see such flora that he'd never imagined, climbing along the trunks of trees upon vines and hanging in bushes, as though this ground had been touched by the fingers of God himself. And beyond this gorgeous garden lay the edge of a vast white city, its spires and pillars reaching towards the heavens.

"I don't believe it…" he said softly as he turned his head to gaze at the shepherd, who had paused to gaze upon this place they had come upon. He seemed somewhat reverent in his posture, and somehow relieved, but as he heard Vash's breathy words, he turned and beckoned him to step before him.

"Neither did I…when I first arrived here…" he said quietly, and nodded his head. "Go…there is someone who wishes to see you…"

Vash was shaking all over as he followed the shepherd's orders and stepped into the garden. The perfume of flowers and trees enveloped him as he stepped under the filtered shade of these beautiful trees, and he noticed as he tried to look out over the horizon that the entire desert had vanished, as though it had never been there. As he walked through the shade, the sunlight passing along his handsome face, he put a hand against the bark of one of the great trees and looked up through to the canopy, closing his eyes in rapture. He couldn't believe it…was this…this place of such heavenly perfection; of such utopian beauty; was this-

"Welcome to Eden, Vash," sounded a soft, sweet voice to his right, and Vash froze quickly as her words caressed his weary soul like the breeze that had kissed his face only moments before. That voice…that gentle, lovely voice…He could remember the last time he'd heard her voice…and he'd wept for her…oh, how he'd wept…

"We've been waiting for you."

Slowly, Vash screwed up his courage, hoping that this was not another of his dreams…or an elaborate hallucination created by his weary mind, and turned towards the voice, his breathing hitching slightly as emotion threatened to overwhelm him.

Warm russet eyes gazed at him, framed against delicately moving ebony hair. She was smiling warmly at him, her entire face alight with kind, elegant happiness, and perched gracefully in her long hair was a single red geranium, its blood red petals matching his crimson coat perfectly. She stood beneath a tall willow tree, the long, wispy branches waving lightly against her, her head leaning lightly against the bark.

Vash's breath caught in his throat, and he could only stand there and gape at her, tears running along the edge of his expressive eyes as he took in her beauty. Her eyes were eyes he'd never thought to meet again…

"…Rem…" he choked finally, his voice hoarse and thick with disbelief and joy, and she smiled fondly at him as she watched him slowly dissolve into silent tears. Gently, she stepped away from the tree and up to him, looking up into his handsome face, and shook her head lightly as she reached up and wiped his tears away, just as she had done so many years ago.

"You've grown up so much, Vash…and yet you've remained so much the same…" Rem said kindly, fondly, and softly embraced him. "I'm so proud of you…"

Vash closed his eyes as he felt her gentle fingers brush away a few tears, but her touch only caused more to flow freely down his face, and he reached up with a gloved hand swiftly, taking her hand into his and leaning against it. As she embraced him, he threw his arms about her, his knees trembling as he once again felt her kind touch and heard her comforting voice…

"Typical," came another female voice, which brought Vash a bit out of his stupor. Frowning, he looked at Rem, who was smiling at someone behind him, and went to turn.

"We make that bargain and finally track him down and get him here safe and sound, and he stands there blubbering like a big blond baby without so much as a hello. Nice to see you too, Vash! You've only kept us waiting for a good seventy five years!"

"Oh, Senpai, it wasn't that long of a wait! You're making molehills out of mountains!"

"Um…I think you mean 'mountains out of molehills', Millie…"

Vash was about to look affronted, but failed miserably as he turned and saw two more familiar faces standing there. Meryl Stryfe was watching him from a few feet away, her arms crossed and her dark eyes piercing, and although she appeared to be annoyed, it was evident by the warm smile playing on her face that she was far from so. Behind her, waving happily at him, stood Millie Thompson, her long brown hair waving behind her in the wind.

"Millie…Meryl…" he said faintly, but it appeared that while Meryl only shook her head and began to step forward, Millie could no longer hold in her enthusiasm and ran forward, throwing her arms around the outlaw and taking him in a big bear hug. Vash's eyes widened and he choked as she squeezed, but Meryl and Rem were thankfully the voice of reason, as they managed to persuade Millie to let him go, as there was plenty of Vash to go around.

"You've left us all hanging for quite some time, you know," came the shepherd's voice from behind him, but there was something new about his voice right now…something familiar that he couldn't quite place. Both Millie and Meryl stepped away, and Millie began to giggle a bit, though she quieted down as Meryl gave her a careful look. Rem looked over at the cloaked man with a faint smile and gently stepped away, an understanding look on her fair face, and Vash looked at her in confusion for a moment before he turned to see what the man who had brought him here had meant. There was a faint rustling of cloth as the outlaw set his green eyes on the shepherd, and his damp eyes widened slightly as he finally met the shepherd's eyes.

He grinned a bit at Vash's numb shock, his eyes twinkling faintly as he saw so many things rush through the gunslinger's expressive eyes, and sighed, his grin falling into a fond smile.

"Been a while…eh, Tongari?"

A soft whimper fell from Vash's lips as Nicholas D. Wolfwood's cobalt eyes smiled at him from behind a faint shroud of mussed raven hair. He watched as those strong hands finished lowering the cloak from about his head and took in the casual posture, the rakish grin that seemed to show much more than just happiness, and those dark, brooding eyes that had watched him from behind the guise of the shepherd…those lips that had confessed the love he'd long considered dead…

"Wolfwood…" Vash said softly, hands trembling. He stepped forward as he felt Rem's small hands gently push him towards the priest, moving rigidly as though he were on automatic pilot.

"The one and only," the priest remarked with a wry grin as he gazed into Vash's eyes, though his wry grin was tempered slightly by a softer glint in his dark eyes. Vash opened his mouth slightly to speak, but found his voice mute. Hesitantly, he reached out with a few trembling fingers to touch Wolfwood's face, and traced over that tanned visage, as though trying to reaffirm the fact that he was real and not another phantom as in his dreams.

"…Why didn't you tell me…before…" Vash finally asked, his voice almost inaudible.

"Would you have believed me if I had?"

"…No…"

Wolfwood sighed at this, and closed his eyes, reaching up with his own hand to cover Vash's gently.

"Which is why we made this bargain…we knew that you'd think I was a mirage or something if I told you…so I had to keep my façade up…" A soft chuckle escaped his lips. "Not that it was easy trying to hide myself from you…"

Vash closed his eyes as he listened to that voice fill his ears, and felt that hand against his, and finally realized the truth of this Eden…this paradise…This was no mirage, this was not a phantom or a hallucination. This was real…so truly, painfully, and undeniably real…

With a breath of confirmation, Vash reached out and pulled Wolfwood into his arms, gripping the cloak in his gloved fingers as though they were a lifeline, and rested his head against the priest's shoulders, closing his eyes tightly as tears of joy seeped from his eyes. He felt Nicholas' arms wrap about him comfortingly, and sighed shudderingly as he felt him nuzzle him gently, his breath warm against his skin.

"I love you, Vash. I'm…I'm sorry I never got around to telling you before…when it counted."

Vash closed his eyes as he heard Nicholas' voice in his ear, shaking as silent sobs of happiness overwhelmed him. His fingers tightened about the cloak, and he nodded faintly.

"I know…"

There was a pause as both men stood there, content in each other's arms, until finally, Wolfwood leaned his head back and gently brought Vash's eyes up to meet his. He smiled faintly and let his hand run along the side of his face, brushing aside flaxen strands from those tearful green eyes, and sighed.

"I'm going to kiss you now, Tongari…" he murmured faintly, and leaned his head to the side slightly as he moved forward, almost hesitantly for the kiss that had long been denied both of them.

"You know I hate it when you call me that," Vash murmured lowly as their noses brushed lightly against one another, his green eyes meeting that intense blue gaze. There was slight mirth in his tone, and his lips were quirked faintly in a smile.

"Oh…shut up and deal with it," came the faint, slightly sardonic reply, and Vash chuckled a bit as he felt Wolfwood's lips brush against his. There was a slight taste of tobacco and some sort of liquor that was quintessentially Nicholas D. Wolfwood, and had never seemed to have faded, but Vash was surprised to find that these lips were soft…and he couldn't help but note the loneliness…the lingering longing in those lips…and he knew that Wolfwood could feel it in his kiss as well. A few tears slipped down his cheek as he ran a hand along the side of Nicholas' face and through his mussed raven hair, caressing the ebony strands with such care and love, and he tasted salt on his lips from his own weeping.

He'd gone searching for himself in the desert…trying to find his way. And this enigma of a man…Nicholas D. Wolfwood, a shepherd of men…had found his bruised and broken soul..and brought him home…

He'd found his way to Eden.

~*Owari*~