Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ To Get To You ❯ To Get To You ( One-Shot )

Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun, nor do I own any of the characters. This fic will be from episode 23 (serious spoiler for those who haven't seen this episode), with me filling in the areas we imagine in between the scenes. It is a songfic that is based on the song "To Get To You" by Lorrie Morgan.

~~*~*~~To Get To You ~~*~*~~

by DBZ Vegeta

~o~

I've cried an ocean of salty tears

So torn apart by love

Struggled through so many lonely years

Dying for a lover's touch

Now that I am lying in here safe in your arms

Baby I would go through it all again

~o~

Nicholas D. Wolfwood sat staring blankly at nothing, on the edge of the bed in a darkened room. A cigarette dangled, seemingly neglected between his lips, a small column of smoke drifting restless upwards to circle around his head. His tortured thoughts by the look on Vash's face this afternoon racing though his mind.

~ The way he looked at me, it was as though he was the one who killed the kid. Dammit I'll take the blame. Hit me if you need to, then maybe at least I can. . .~ his thoughts were interrupted by a sweet familiar voice.

"Mr. Priest." Milly called as she opened the door to his room. "Oh good, I hoped I would find you here." She chirped cheerfully holding a bag in her hands. ~ Nothing ever seemed to get her down. ~ he thought.

"I thought you might be hungry, so Meryl and I made you some sandwiches and I would be very happy if you would eat them. Oh yeah, and you take your coffee black right." she grinned as she bounced back into the outer room to fetch his coffee.

He could hear her rattling around in the other room, as he leaned forward to crush the cigarette out in the overflowing tray. Sitting back slightly, "Why haven't you said anything?" he asked

"Anything?" she queried back confused by his question.

"About the kid I killed the other day!" he said angrily, his voice carrying easily from the other room. She turned to look back at the open doorway, unable to see him as she placed her hand to her chest.

"Oh, uhm, oh I just don't know what to say." she whispered softly, turning back to put the sandwiches and coffee on a tray, just to keep her hands busy, her thoughts racing wildly. "I'm so confused, because what you said was right, but what Mr. Vash said was true too." she looked up out the grimy window unseeingly, "I don't like it when people have to die."

"What would you have done!" his voice full of frustration and anger.

"I don't know really." she said sadly, staring down at her clenched fists pensively.

"THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" he screamed, his eyes closing as he threw back his head. He stopped himself, shaking slightly as he opened his eyes and leaned back forward.

"I don't understand him, even in such an impossible situation, he keeps saying that nobody has to die. How can he believe that." he said softly, confused by the emotions racing through him.

Hearing footsteps and seeing a hand hold a steaming cup of coffee in front of him, he turned to look up into Milly's compassionate blue eyes.

"That's the way Mr. Vash has always been." she said as she stood back up to look down at him. "I know because I have watched him for a long time. He's lived by that rule his whole life, it's very important to him."

He sat cradling the cup Milly had handed him, reflecting back to the day Vash had recited on of the Lord's Commandments.

~ Thou shalt not kill, remember. What the hell kind of churchman are you anyways? Come on. ~ flashed through his thoughts. He smiled slightly, remembering that day.

"I have lived my life very different from him, and I guess I will have to accept it. I was supposed to guide him. I was ordered to protect him. I was my job to be there for him. But the mission, the obligation." he said as he stared down into the swirling cup of coffee in his hands.

"It doesn't matter anymore. I honestly wanted to save him. Even if it meant killing a child. I actually wanted to save him." Images of his children at the December home formed in his minds' eye, reflecting off the pool in the cup.

"I had no alternative, I had to choose one or the other." he cried softly, turning his face towards the wall as his hand came up to cover it, hiding the tears that were streaming relentless down his cheeks.

"It's so strange." he whispered, his voice breaking from his grief. "Where did I go wrong? I always have chosen the right way, haven't I."

He felt her arms come up and circle around his shoulders as he leaned forward into her embrace, letting his tears fall heavily into her hair. His coffee cup falling to the ground as his arms came up to encircle her waist.

"Thank you." he murmured softly into her shoulder. "You're so kind."

"You need your strength, please eat the sandwiches." she said gently as her lips brushed lightly across his hair.

"Will you please eat them with me?" he asked sadly, not wanting to be alone. Leaning back in her embrace he looked up into her soft blue eyes.

Unshed tears glistened like raindrops at the corners of her eyes. Reaching up he softly ran a finger down the side of her cheek and brushed against her soft lips. Unable to help himself, he leaned forward and placed a soft, gentle kiss on her sweet mouth.

He pulled back, looking into her soft eyes. "Milly, why do you care so much about my welfare?" he asked softly. Her eyes shone with her tears as her hands came up to cup his face.

"Because you are special, Nicholas. Not only to Mr. Vash and Meryl, but also to me." she whispered softly. "You care so deeply for the pain in everyone's heart, that you sometimes forget about your own pain." Her thumb whispered softly back and forth across his cheekbone and down his chin, feeling the stubble of his beard roughly grated across her fingers.

He stared back up into her beautiful eyes. ~ Nicholas, she called me by my name, not Mr. Priest like she always does. ~ he thought stunned by the emotions rippling though her eyes. He closed his eyes against the tears that threatened to overflow, so torn apart by her unconditional caring.

"Nicholas." she whispered softly. He opened his eyes to find her worried gaze, and he smiled softly as he sat back away from her.

Nick shook his raven head trying to break away from the spell of her eyes, so caring, so loving. ~ Why should she care about me? What did I do to deserve such affection from this wonderful woman? ~ he thought, closing his eyes. He heard her moving around the room, then silence and he was sure she had left him to wallow in self-pity.

He was surprised when he felt the bed dip next to him, and he turned to find that Milly had seated herself next to him on the bed. She had taken off her cape of and loosened her tie. Her brown hair glinted in the fading light pouring through the window and her eyes where filled with such a loving concern that he could not help himself. He leaned over and placed his head in her lap, wrapping his strong arms about her waist, sighing as she gently began to stroke his hair, lovingly. He felt so safe, so cared for, and so loved at that moment that he didn't want it to ever end.

~o~

I fall back down on my knees

Spend desperate years lost at sea

Baby to get to you

I'd go through every heartbreak

Lose every last bit of faith

Baby to get to you

We'd cry every hearts tear

Face every dark fear

Just to feel the sun break through

Baby to get to you

~o~

How long they stayed like that he didn't know. All that he knew was that he was falling in head first, he never wanted to let her go, and just wanted to stay like he was now. He would do anything for the sun not to rise and the coming day never to start. For he knew that he had to confront Vash tomorrow and that would be his downfall. Milly would no longer see him through rose-colored glasses, she would see his true colors and then he would lose all he had right now.

He raised his head and looked down into her beautiful eyes. Sometime before they had moved to stretch out on the bed next to each other, holding the other in their arms. His hand reached up and gently moved a lock of her hair that had fallen over her eye. The texture like silk between his fingertips. Words were no longer needed between them, their eyes and hands conveyed the words they longed to speak, the emotions that overfilled their hearts.

Her hand came up to cradle his face, fingers drifting lovingly over the sharp planes of his cheek and nose, pausing when they reached his lips. He gently kissed the callused tips of her fingers, probably from carrying her stun gun he thought, wishing that she hadn't needed to carry such a weapon. She should be protected from the world's evil, not have to protect others from it.

She watched a frown marred his brow and she reached gentle fingers up to sooth his disquiet. His eyes were so dark and filled with worry, that she wanted to clear away the hurt in his soul.

He looked deep into her eyes, involuntarily he moved towards her, drawn like a moth to the flame. His arms encircled her waist tightly drawing her downwards to meet his lips, her soft scent infiltrating his senses, clouding his worries.

Her eyes closed as his lips brushed softly against hers, her thoughts had been haunted by the dream of this very thing. He pulled back slightly at her soft moan, the look in his eyes mellowed and for once she could see a hint of vulnerability. Her heart melted, her love overflowing, spilling forth like a dam released. For this one night she would show him what she felt inside, she would give to him something to remember her by. To brand his mind with her memory so when he left in the morning he would take a little bit of her with him.

A quiet smile curved her lips as she reached forward to unbutton his shirt and brush it from his shoulders. Quieting his protests with her fingers, she raised her lips to cover his gently as her hands slid behind his head to tangle in his dark hair. Running her hands through the soft strands before trailing them restlessly over his shoulders and down his sides to rest at his waist. His flesh quivered beneath her touch and then relaxed as her fingers continued to wander over his rippled abdomen.

His eyes were on her, warming her like a lit flame as his hands trailed up to remove the loose tie and unbutton her shirt, spreading it softly to bare her silk-clad breasts. She was driving him slowly mad with desire for her, his mouth opened over hers as he pressed her back into the bed, hotly ravishing and savoring her sweet essence. His hand fanned across her trembling flesh, bringing her to the same fervent pitch that throbbed through his veins.

His lithe body covered hers and she arched to meet his hard satin covered flesh, a moan of delight pouring from her lips. Their hands wandered relentlessly over hot skin, tormented by clothing that was torn away under the heat of passion. They joined together in perfect rhythm, matching thrust for thrust. He plunged deeply within her, seeking that ultimate perfection of intimacy, driven by the overwhelming need to claim her as his own. She was living and dying, trembling with pleasure as he took her higher, transcending the boundaries of reality, spiraling helplessly into the black oblivion of pleasure.

And as soul-shattering sensations rock their bodies, sending them tumbling over the cliff of pleasure, he clutched her closer, as if he could cling to this moment forever, reveling in the indescribable feelings that swelled over him. It was like coming home after a long journey, and nothing had ever felt so right as this moment in time. He shuddered above her, whispering raspy words of love against the column of her throat

Collapsing forward, he cradled his head in the crook of her neck, panting heavily. Drawing her into a tight circle of his arms, he nuzzled his head against her silky hair, inhaling the sweet fragrance, memorizing everything that he could about this moment. Sliding gently off her, he pulled her into his arms and held her tired body close to his. He softly stroked her tangled hair back from her forehead before placing a light kiss there and slipping into a contented sleep.

~o~

Baby I was convinced that I been abandoned by God

That I was one in a million souls

Somehow he forgot

Now that I found you

It makes perfect sense

And I would go through it all again

~o~

Somewhere in the night, a soft sound woke him. Her breathing quiet and gentle against the skin of his neck, where she had curled up. Slipping carefully from her embrace, he pulled the covers up over her sleeping form. Picking up his discarded pants, he slipped them on and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his shirt pocket. Lighting one, he stood looking out the window at the moons in the sky.

~ What have I done? ~ he thought, turning to look at her sleeping quietly in his bed. He felt that his faith had been lost with the actions that he had committed. Killing a child was something he wished that he would never have to do again. Children where the future of this world and every life was precious.

~ Why had God abandoned me? ~ his soul cried out, pain and torment racing through his body. ~ I became a priest to save lives, not destroy them. ~ Tears began to creep restless down his cheeks, as he leaned heavily against the windowsill.

He didn't hear the soft whisper of material, until a pair of arms came up and reached around his waist. Looking down he smiled as Milly, dressed only in the soft sheet from the bed, snuggled into his embrace.

"Why me?" he asked softly, his voice barely a whisper in the darkness.

"Because I love you." she confessed quietly, her face hidden by her hair.

"Promise me. Tomorrow you stay here in this room, no matter what happens, until I return for you." he requested, his voice husky with emotion.

She looked up into his dark eyes, smiling gently. "Only if you promise to return to me." she said softly.

His hand came up to cup the side of her face, his thumb gently stroking her lips. "Now that I have found you, I won't let you go. I would go though this all again, just to be with you." He tilted her head slightly as he leaned forward and claimed her lips. "I will always return to you."

~o~

I fall back down on my knees

Spend desperate years lost at sea

Baby to get to you

I'd go through every heartbreak

Lose every last bit of faith

Baby to get to you

We'd cry every hearts tear

Face every dark fear

Just to feel the sun break through

Baby to get to you

~o~

I knew that he had lied to me in those early morning hours. We had held each other close throughout the remainder of the night, only for me to awaken to find him and the cross punisher gone. I knew when I heard those gunshots rang out, that he was never to return as he promised. When Meryl had come to the door of the room, all I could do was huddle on the bed, denying the inevitable.

But I knew it the moment that Mr. Vash walked into the room carrying the cross punisher, he was gone. The tears flowed, hot and salty down my cheeks at I screamed out my rage to the world.

I had only just found you to have you leave me forever.

~o~

I've cried an ocean of salty tears

Baby to get to you

~o~

A/N: Okay, what is it with me and angsty songfics. It seems that both of the songfics that I have written always have someone dying in the end. Sorry, but I seem to like these types of songs.

Well, I hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you think.

Thanks ~ DBZ Vegeta