Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ Trigun Outtakes ❯ Trigun Outtakes ( Chapter 1 )

Trigun Outtakes
by Fat Cat Buyo
A Christmas Fanfic for Kamikaze
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Knives: And as I was saying, when I take over the world, I want a pony and... some pretty stables and ribbons for her haiiiir

Vash: .... (facefaults)
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Legato: Well, if it isn’t Vash the Stampede... (smirks)

Vash: ...

Legato: ... I SAID, Well if it isn’t Vash the Stampede...

Vash: ... (hums)

Legato: VASH THE STAMPEDE!

Vash: (looks up) You called?

Director: VASH! ITS YOUR LINE!!

Vash: Oh, right! (takes off his ear phones, loud music blaring through them)
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Director: Okay, take two!

Legato: Well, if it isn’t Vash the Stampede...

Vash: .... Psst. (to the director) What’s my line again?

Director: ... (falls off of his chair)
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Vash: (in deep voice) Knives, I am your father

Knives: .... No, you’re my brother, Vash. Get it right.

Vash: ... It was a jo--

Knives: Vash.. calm down! There’s no reason to get angry!

Vash: (calmly) ... I’m not angr--

Knives: VASH! CALM DOWN! PUT DOWN THE GUN!

Vash: I’m... not holding a gun... (blinks)

Knives: THAT'S IT! I’m calling the white coats!!!! (runs off)

Vash: What?! (sighs and walks off toward his dressing room)
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Wolfwood: I’m a traveling priest! (sticks a church on someone’s head) ... (tries to pull it off) Er... guys?

Staff: Yeah?

Wolfwood: Remember the Church with... super glue on it that I was supposed to stick on the dummy?

Director: YES!

Wolfwood: Well, it’s kinda on this guys head..

Guy with Church on head: HELP ME! I CAN’T BREATHE!

Director: THAT’S IT! We’re killing off your character in the next episode!

Wolfwood: ... what?!
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Meryl: VASH!! (runs after him, accidentally steps on a land mine and explodes)

Director: Bring in Meryl #5215
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Rem: Vash... believe in yourself. ALWAYS BELIEVE!

Vash: ... (blinks) ... (picks up the script) Er...
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Milly: (picks up gun) Hey this thing’s lighter than usual! (looks down to see that she’s picked up Vash) Er.. oops..

Vash: (too busy listening to music and eating donuts to notice)
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Vash: (running, shooting at enemies)

Staff: VASH! WATCH OUT FOR THAT...

Vash: (slams headlong into a tree)

Staff: ... tree...
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Knives: ... Both the spider and the butterfly can’t li.. wait... I got that all wrong..

Director: Take two!

Knives: The Spider will kill the butterflu and.... crap! (groans)

Director: Take SEVENTEEN!

Knives: The spiderfly... AH SCREW IT! (storms off)
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Vash: My name is VASH THE STAMPEDE!! Forgive the lack of warning, but it's time for my daily massacre! If you do not believe I am the real thing, take a good look at me and start freaking out!! (starts shooting randomly)

Staff: Vash... (all watch wide-eyed as the cardboard set starts falling apart)
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Director: Okay, get it right this time... (to Vash) ALRIGHT TAKE TWENTY! (cut)

Legato: Well if it isn’t Vash the Stampede...

Vash: (in silly voice) Well, if it isn’t Legato the Bluesummers!

Director: AH! I CAN’T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS!
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Wolfwood: Chester’s nuts roasting on an open fire.....

Vash: Jack Frost sucking on your... (shifty eyes) nooooose...

Knives: Compulsive liars, telling lies by the fire... and folks dressed up like Inuit children...

Legato: Everybody knows that Vulgar and Macabre, help to make the spirits bright!

Woflwood, Knives, Legato: Though it’s been said, many times, many waayys...

Vash: Merry Kyomas... Kyo!!

All: (bow and blow kisses)

Director: I need a better cast... (groans)

------Owari (end)------

Merry Kyomas Kaze, enjoy this ficceh! Took me forever, but I like the way it turned out...

AND MERRY CHRISTMAS TO THE REST OF YOU!

Love, Buyo