Tsubasa Chronicle Fan Fiction ❯ Reciprocity, Part I ❯ Chapter 6

 

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Tsubasa.

 

Kurogane waited in silence, giving Fai the time he needed to collect his thoughts. The blonde's eyes seemed to glaze over, staring ahead of him as he slowly lost himself in his past.

 

“I have no memories before I met Ashura. He found me when I was nine, I was kneeling on my hands and knees in the street, covered in blood.” Kurogane watched as a haunted look filled his lover's eyes and for a moment he wondered if he should really be pressing him to talk about such painful matters, but Fai went on.

 

“It wasn't my own blood, everyone in the village was dead,” he paused. “I had killed them,” he said in a cracked, hushed voice. The dark haired man by his side felt his insides twist; a feeling of foreboding washing over him.

 

“I suppose I just lost control of my powers. I was hysterical when Ashura found me. He was still the Prince then and was patrolling the region. He made the decision to erase my memories, out of sympathy, he told me, so that I could learn to move on and get past it. I used to think he was being merciful, but now I'm sure he just wanted more control over me.”

 

One callused hand ran gently down the wizard's back, in an effort to comfort him. “Over the next few years, Ashura raised me in the palace, by his side. He was my savior, my mentor, and eventually, my lover. Again and again he would tell me that I was special, that I was meant to be a fighter. He made me feel gifted, instead of cursed, by my power. But I was still unsure of myself. Ashura couldn't completely erase what had happened, in my mind there were still shadows of memory lurking; screams echoing in my head. Finally, since I was so afraid to use my power, Ashura said he would control it for me.

 

“The tattoo is a way for him to harness my magic… I remember when he gave it to me, he said it would bind us forever…”

 

There was a long, strained silence when Kurogane felt himself holding his breath.

 

“I thought he loved me,” Fai said in a barely audible whisper. “Maybe he does, in his own way, but I realized a long time ago that he will never love me the way I want him to, not the way I love-“ He stopped short, feeling Kurogane's hand convulse on his shoulder. The swordsman had felt a cold stinging in his heart at the unfinished confession of his lover. A sudden realization sprang into his mind, like ice spiking into his thoughts. He'd always assumed Fai was just as affected by their connection as he was, but that his heart was simply too bruised to admit his feelings, now came the idea that Fai's love might never turn to him. Maybe it was just too late.

 

But in the next moment the warrior dismissed the depressing thought. Kuro wasn't one to mope, he knew Fai responded to him and he would make damn certain that this man faced his feelings for him one day.

 

“-that I /once/ loved him,” Fai corrected, though he knew he'd already made an awful mistake. “I fought for him because I believed it was the only way I had any value, but the fighting- no, the /killing/- left me numb. I just wanted it over as quickly as possible, so Ashura used the connection between us to double my powers by combining them with his own when I went into battle.”

 

Ah, so that's how he developed that devastating power! Kurogane thought.

 

The wizard grew quiet and Kuro felt him begin to tremble. Looking down into his face, he could see the tears glistening in his troubled blue depths.

 

“I grew so tired of it all, but the more I hesitated to fight, the colder Ashura became, and I began to see that he viewed me more as a useful tool he had found, a weapon for him to wield at will, than as a friend or lover. But by the time I realized this, we were already in the middle of a war, I had no means to escape and no way to alter my part. Ashura surged me with so much power before the battles that I felt as if I was going to split at the seams! And now that there's no one left to conquer, he just uses me for… more intimate matters.”

 

The swordsman felt his anger growing as Fai spoke- at Ashura and at himself, as he recalled how quick he had been to blame the blonde wizard for the carnage of the battles he had fought. Ashura, that bastard, he had done an excellent job of exploiting Fai. The idea that others saw the reluctant blonde as the bloodthirsty fighter and Ashura as the regal King merely following obligingly in his wake made Kurogane sick to his stomach. Ashura had not only manipulated Fai so as to use his power to full advantage, but he had also ensured that if his new lands rose in anger against their conquerors, they would most likely persecute the wizard rather than the King.

 

Fai seemed to become cold and his shuddering ceased, though his eyes continued to spill with fresh tears, as his old demons overtook him. He'd become happy with Kurogane, but the more he spoke about his past with Ashura, the more futile it seemed to have any hope for a different life in the future. In a few days the King would return and things would go back to the way they always had been. Kurogane, a prisoner himself, wouldn't be able to protect him from his fate.

 

Turning to look straight into Kurogane's deep crimson eyes, the blonde said, “Ashura used to always tell me, `Remember, you're a killer, you will always be a killer… and I will always be the only one who truly loves you for who you are.'” He paused, “Maybe he was right.”

 

Fai looked pale and defeated as he spoke. Kurogane took his chin between his fingers and said sternly, “No, he was wrong Fai, you can become something different and he is NOT the only one who could care for you!”

 

“I love you, Fai” Kurogane confessed with intensity.

 

The blonde shook his head in defiance. “You don't understand! It doesn't matter!” he cried. “We're both chained here, there's no where for us to go, no way for another life!”

 

The mage's blue eyes burned with cold resolve, but Kurogane held his face, his voice calm as he told him, “Don't do that Fai! Don't give up hope, there's always a way! We'll find it, I promise you!”

 

The man spoke with such conviction that Fai almost believed him. “But-“

 

“I'm serious Fai,” Kuro said before he could protest. “I love you, we'll find a way…” Then his lips were smoldering against the other man's, showing his lover the truth of his words the best way he knew how.

 

Soon the two men were locked together, bodies clinging to one another in mutual need and Fai found hope rekindled within his heart. It seemed completely irrational to believe in the future, but somewhere deep inside himself he felt a new energy stir, the seed of a new strength. And after he had climaxed in his lover's arms, he felt himself drifting into a satisfied slumber.

 

“I believe in you,” he murmured just as sleep took him. Kurogane, on the cusp of sleep himself, barely heard these words, but he smiled and hugged his body closer to him.

 

They were both so content that neither of them heard the echo of heavy footfalls as they approached the large doors to their room. And neither man so much as blinked when the doors opened, a tall, opposing figure stepping inside to walk to their shared bed and stare down at their entwined, naked bodies.

 

“Well, well,” drifted a calm and chilled voice over the two men, “It seems you've kept yourself busy in my absence, dear Fai.”

 

The cool voice sent a disturbing shiver along the blonde's exposed spine and he stirred, his eyes bleary as he tried to make out the form standing above him, but the room was draped too deeply in darkness.

 

“I'm back, love,” said the same cold voice, “You've been having fun I see, but tonight I want you with /me/.”

 

“Ashura!” Fai said, his startled eyes growing wide. At his lover's cry, Kurogane stirred, but the King waved a hand over them, sending them both back to sleep. Bending down, he tossed the thin blonde over one shoulder, not even bothering to cover his naked form as he scooped him out of bed and walked him back to his own private quarters. But when they were about to cross the threshold of the room, Fai, fighting the spell that was making his senses swim with fatigue, managed to call out for Kurogane. His voice, however, was weak and didn't reach beyond the doorway.

 

Ashura merely smiled, a cruel smear of his lips. “It seems we'll have a lot to talk about, dear one.” And with that he stepped out, leaving Kurogane in a fitful slumber filled with disquieting dreams.

 

***Reviews welcome! ^_^