Tsubasa Chronicle Fan Fiction ❯ Season of Hope ❯ Chapter 1

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Title: Season of Hope

Author: <lj user="theablackthorn">

Gift for: <lj user="gryvon">

Fandom: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles

Rating: PG-15 - BL and kissing

Prompt/Summary: mistletoe kiss brings a little joy into one of the lives of our traveller's

AN: Thank you to <lj user="liralen"> for betaing this!

Fai, Kurogane, Sakura, Syaoran and Mokona had landed in this world hours ago, looking up at the towering edifices and the snow covered streets of another unfamiliar city. They had been lucky to run into two familiar faces amidst the crowds - Touya and Yukito. The Princess had spoken with the two and they had been kind enough to let them stay as they had nowhere else to go - though it wasn't free. They had spent the evening helping the two men in their restaurant, familiar work to him and Sakura and something new for Kurgy and Syaoran.

<lj-cut text="click for more">

Fai now stood by the large bay window, watching the silent snowflakes drift from cloud covered skies to settle in a blanket on the ground. It was growing late and after having a lively meal with their two hosts they had all set about getting comfortable. The luxury of a hot bath and the promise of a soft bed were the things of dreams at this point. The journey for the past few weeks had been arduous and this peaceful respite was just what they needed. Yukito had mentioned something to him earlier, and he had discovered that they had apparently arrived on one of this nation's holidays - something called Christmas.

He had loved the stories that Yukito had woven of the magical season, and he watched the lights twinkling out on the streets reflecting off the snow as well as the delicate strands wrapping around the pine tree that the two men had decorated together. Fai felt something stir in his chest at the thought, the happiness and comfort these Touya and Yukito showed was something Fai had always wanted. Unfortunately he knew that his own happiness would never come - he didn't deserve it, and yet he couldn't help but hope even when it hurt.

It was as those thoughts passed through his head that he turned and caught sight of a rather flushed Yukito in a tender lip lock with his dark haired lover. Fai smiled softly at the sight, amused, as the younger man blushed harder as he gesticulated wildly between them all, when Touya's lips parted from his own. Touya's answer left the blond wizard a little confused. The brunet had pointed upwards at a sprig of some kind of plant, rounded leaves and small milky white berries that hung from the door frame. The brunet's single-worded response puzzled the wizard further, “Mistletoe.”

Fai watched as Yukito gave Touya a look that just made the older man laugh, as he gave the petite man a squeeze and disappeared into the kitchen. The wizard watched Yukito's scowl transform into a soft, happy smile before he noticed he was being watched. Fai smiled at the silver-haired man and waited quietly as the other approached, cheeks a fiery crimson. His soft words just made Fai's smile widen, “My apologise Fai-san.”

“There is nothing to apologise for, and please just Fai.” The young man was always so formal, it didn't seem to matter which world they were on but Fai found it a little fun to tease the other man about his speech.

“Yes Fai-s… Fai.”

Fai smiled warmly at Yukito's stumble.

His curiosity getting the better of him: he couldn't help but ask about Touya's word, “So tell me Yukito what is mistletoe - is that the correct way to say it?”

He watched amused by the blush that adorned Yukito's cheeks as he tried to explain. “Yes and mistletoe… well it's a Christmas tradition. It was brought over to Japan with the concept of Christmas. I'm sure it has an old tradition behind it, but now it is placed in doorways and when two people are caught beneath it, it's traditional to exchange a kiss or it's considered unlucky.”

Fai surreptitiously looked across the room at the dark-haired man seated by the fire, poking the burning wood with a long metal rod called a poker. He felt something tighten in his chest at the sight of those flickering flames highlighting toned arms that were bare despite the cold. When his eyes flicked back to Yukito he could see the knowledge of just who he'd been looking at in the younger man's eyes. He shook his head and smiled at the smaller man, but he didn't speak instead nodding quietly turning back to the window.

When everyone had left the room he looked back over at the man seated before the fire, knowing the youngest members of their party were in the process of bathing and preparing for bed. When Kurogane turned to him he gave him a small smile and then turned back to the window, his smile falling as he watched the snow tumbling in large flakes. Fai knew only too well that the warmth that had swelled in his chest at the very idea of catching the dark-haired warrior under the mistletoe and actually managing to get a kiss was non-existent.

That thought was confirmed only an hour later. He had made himself forget about the small plant hanging in the doorway. It was when he went to pass through, dodging past Kurogane to get into the living when Touya spoke, “Stop right there.”

Fai froze and looked up at the young brunet, seeing a twinkle in his eyes; and he followed the pointing finger to see that familiar sprig of green. He didn't dare turn to the other man occupying the doorway knowing the scowl that would be firmly in place, but it was the angry growl that made his heart feel like it was breaking.

“Not on your life mage.”

Fai didn't look up, instead continuing into the room as though he hadn't stopped, schooling his features into a teasing grin instead of the sad frown that wanted to turn his lips. He spoke in a taunting lilt, “I bet Kuro-pu's not a very experienced kisser hey, Mokona.”

“Kuro-pu's a very bad kisser, Fai. Let Mokona kiss you instead.”

“Thank you little one.” Fai noticed the little creature pause, but he shook his head subtly and gave Mokona a smile. Though he knew Mokona could sense his distress he never said anything, planting a furry kiss to Fai's check and nuzzling softly before bouncing away.

He could hear Kurogane fuming, but for once he didn't feel like listening. He returned to the window he had spent hours looking through, and missed the knowing gaze from the crimson-eyed male.

Though this place wasn't really like his old home the snow brought with it a sense of melancholy. It made him remember those he had left behind as well as the pain that now infused his heart once more. He pressed pale fingertips to the cold surface, and though he could feel the gazes of their young hosts on his back he ignored them in favour of watching the snow fall outside in soft flurries. He pushed away all thoughts and feelings that tried to well up inside him and stood, empty and as blank as the snow.

00---00---00

Fai stood in the dark street, face turned up to the falling flakes that landed and disappeared against his warmer skin. He hadn't been outside for long, but the cold had crept inside his thick coat running up the baggy sleeves of the cream-coloured sweater Touya had lent him.

He had waited until the whole house was asleep before venturing outside, the sense of melancholy still thick in his chest. The snow always reminded him of Chii. She used to dance around as the crystalline flakes fell, looking so much like the angel at the pinnacle of Touya and Yukito's Christmas tree.

He smiled at the thought, spinning a solitary pirouette before falling still in quiet contemplation. He knew the emotions that swelled inside his chest for one rather grumpy warrior were dangerous. They drew him ever closer to feelings he had locked away inside his heart when he had left Celes.

Fai felt a little lonely standing out in the cold, but his own guilt kept him company. If his companions were ever to discover his past it would tear them asunder, and he would be alone once more. He had tried so hard to keep them at a distance and yet they had burrowed so deep under his skin. He was uncertain what he would do without them now.

He heard a faint rustling from behind him and turned quickly to see a dark shadow of a man approaching him: he would know that imposing silhouette anywhere. The wizard turned walking forward to pass the other man, when he felt strong fingers curl around his wrist. He couldn't help but sigh as the warm touch penetrated his skin, causing that broken feeling inside to ease. He looked up to see Kurogane's dark crimson staring down at him. Fai spoke with a familiar air of nonchalance, “Can't sleep Kuro-puppy?”

“No.”

Fai's brow furrowed for a moment, normally Kurogane didn't answer in a monosyllabic fashion and yet he could see something was bothering the other man.

“You shouldn't be outside in the cold hmm - you're from somewhere warm you're not used to it.” Fai tried to brush of the feelings that were trying to assail him, the feel of Kurogane's calloused fingers stroking against his skin weren't making it easier.

So Fai did what he did best. He turned as if to walk back to the door he exited from, trying to get away from the source of his discomfort, only to feel those fingers tighten and hold him in place. He didn't fully turn, allowing his arm to create some degree of distance between them. The mage's voice was quiet, matching the muted silence around them, “Did you need something Kuro-pu?”

“Yes.” Again with the single-worded responses.

Fai took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves that were fluttering away inside him, as he asked the taller male his next question, “And what can I help you with Kuro-pipi?”

Fai watched the older man turn to face him, piercing red eyes trained on his face and he felt his heart quicken at the intensity of that gaze. “You never stop trying to hide do you mage?”

Fai felt something like panic rising and he shoved it down hard, letting his usual mask drift across his features as he responded to the warrior's words. “Now Kuro-pu it's not nice to answer a question with a question.”

“Yet you do it often.”

Fai almost winced; it was a familiar tactic he used to misdirect people's questions when he didn't want to answer; but it bothered him that Kurogane, straightforward Kurogane was using it.

He didn't give an outright response, humming softly under his breath instead.

“I don't know if I'll ever understand you wizard.” Kurogane's words were almost wistful as he spoke quietly in that deep voice Fai secretly loved.

Fai turned more fully to look at the tall man, seeing something that looked almost sad inside those normally fierce eyes.

Fai let a little honesty slip through, trying to push Kurogane away even though what he truly wanted was to be so much closer. “Maybe you're not meant to.”

“Maybe. But maybe one day you'll let me decide.”

Fai gave the taller man a slightly startled look and he felt that panic nipping at the corner of his senses and he pulled away again. Fai twisted his wrist just enough that Kurogane would let go and as he turned to the door he spoke softly, “Good night Kuro-wan.”

He got to the door with relative ease and as he went to step over the threshold he felt strong arms curl around him. He tried his best not to react to the gesture, one that was far too familiar and had been the cause of great pain in the past. But Kurogane must have felt him stiffen as those broad hands pulled away from him only to reach out and spin him around by the shoulders. Kurogane's deep voice was a warm whisper in the shell of his ear, sending a shiver through him, “More secrets mage?”

He tried to shrug it off and kept his eyes down so the warrior couldn't see the shock that had settled there. “It's nothing Kuro-tan.”

“Mmm…” Instead of releasing him Fai felt those calloused hands pull him forward, one hand looping around his body and coming to rest at the small of his back. The other moved up to cup the back of his neck. He could feel the warm digits tunnel into his hair and lightly tilt his head up so that he was looking up into Kurogane's tanned face instead of at the crushed snow beneath their booted feet.

Fai couldn't help but react to the intimate touch, feeling a shudder run through him at the light pressure against his neck and the almost possessive hold around his waist. His voice trembled lightly when he spoke, “K-kurogane?”

“Fai.” It was as his name slipped from the warrior's lips that they pressed firmly against his own. Fai couldn't help but breathe in, lips parting and unknowingly allowing the taller man's hot slick tongue to slip inside. He felt paralysed for a moment before feeling coursed through him, eyes closing as his hands wrapped up around Kurogane's neck, pulling him closer, needing him curled around him. Fai had waited and wanted for so long, to feel this man pressed close, lips gently caressing as the warrior's tongue twined and teased at his own. Fai's bare fingers, cold from the night air, curled into inky black locks, loving the slightly coarse feel as he clenched his fingers around them.

When Kurogane drew back, Fai whimpered softly; the warmth that had wrapped around him slowly withdrew. He turned his flushed face up to look at the warrior's eyes heavy-lidded, catching something else at the corner of his vision but chose to ignore it for the immediacy of what was happening.

As Kurogane's body withdrew he took all his warmth with him, leaving the mage feeling cold and bereft. He looked away from Kurogane, arms instinctively wrapping around himself to keep what little heat was left close. He felt his heart ache inside his chest as he whispered, “Why did you do that?”

“Because.”

He never turned to see the warrior's face, feeling heat suffuse his cheeks at Kurogane's words.

“That's not an answer.” Fai felt a small fire blaze in his chest at Kurogane's disregard for what he'd done.

“No, I suppose not.”

His irritation was escalating, but he realised something which he hadn't noticed until then, but as he turned deep sapphire eye up to look at the warrior, “You sound a little like me, Kurgy.”

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

From the way Kurogane was looking at him he could tell that his confusion was written all over his face. His brows tilted into a frown, he had the urge to reach out and touch the puzzling man. His voice reflected his uncertainty, “Kuro?”

“Fai.” The way he said his name warmed his heart, and yet he could feel the reserve in his tone.

"What…?"

Kurogane neatly cut Fai off, his tone was gentle, but underlying it was a familiar note of strength. "When you're ready, little mage -- I will be waiting."

That statement was surprising and Fai didn't really know what to say. Waiting for what? Yet he knew deep down, and he both feared and wanted what the warrior was offering. “I…”

“Merry Christmas.”

When the warrior disappeared inside the warm house Fai felt his whole body tremble with confusion and restrained emotion. What had just happened? When he looked up at the doorway he couldn't believe his eyes, stepping closer he reached out long fingers brushing the small waxen leaves and pearly berries of a bunch of mistletoe.

He felt something burgeoning inside him, he wasn't truly sure what it was or how he would deal with it but he wanted it - so much.

He felt warmth steal through him and a small smile tilting his lips. He didn't restrain the giddy feeling that filled him, spinning dizzily on the spot as he pressed his fingers against his lips, enjoying the feel of latent heat left from Kurogane's kiss.

Fai wasn't sure if he was awake or dreaming, but he was happy in a way he hadn't felt in so long.

He had never celebrated Christmas before, but the gift that Kurogane had given him was one he would always treasure, and he prayed that one day he'd be able to take the samurai up on his offer.

It may only be small right now, but it would grow and maybe just maybe he could dream of a day in the future that Kurogane could see.

He had given him the first seed of hope.

</lj-cut>