Tsubasa Chronicle Fan Fiction ❯ Though They Wander Far from Home ❯ They Will Stumble Forward ( Chapter 4 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Disclaimer: No I do not own the characters featured herein, nor the anime they come from. But I still love them, and of course love to torture them.
Pairing: KuroganexFai
Warnings: Yaoi (that means Male and Male), Lemons (That means graphic sex but only on AFF otherwise it'll be lime), non-con/rape, and of course, seeing as they are guys, there will be anal.
A/N: There's a very long thanks to my reviewers in my blog....
Let's all pretend that those guys at least pulled Fai's pants up in the last chapter, cause I forgot to write it in I was so excited about finishing so early. They don't want to get caught and have their fun spoiled after all, or rather I don't want them caught yet, I still have more to put Fai through.
Let's also pretend they had modern showers with running water, cause I don't feel like going with the more authentic buckets of water.
I'm not too happy with the third section, so please forgive me if it's not my best, I especially gave up on the pronouns so it might be a little annoying to read. I got stuck on that section. And sorry for being so late, but on the bright side it's like twice as long as other chapters.
Now, on with the torture... I mean, story!
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Chapter 4: They Will Stumble Forward
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Kuro woke earlier than usual the next morning intent on finding Warmaster Mizuro to convince him to release Fai. As he walked towards the center of camp, the warrior could hear Mizuro's voice off to his right and thanked his luck that the man was so easy to find. He was surprised to find the man in discussion with Commander Shozu right in front of his captive companion, who was dazedly blinking up at the two men as if they had woken him up.
Mizuro nodded his acknowledgment as Kuro walked up. “Good morning, Kurogane-san. I was just about to come find you, I had some news that you will be pleased with,” he said, nodding towards Shozu, “Commander Shozu has graciously decided he is willing to drop the charges against your friend.”
Shozu nodded, smiling lazily at Kuro and glancing over at Fai whose eyes widened but smiled his goofy smile back. “There's something wrong with that boy,” said the fat man.
Mizuro turned to Kuro, “I'm more than happy to release him if you will keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't get into any more trouble.”
Shozu frowned and interrupted Mizuro, “Are you sure that you should let him do that, he's an outsider.”
“Outsider or not Kurogane-san has proven himself in battle and he is more familiar with this man, so I will entrust him to watching over his friend.”
“I would be more than happy to keep an eye on him, but I just do not think it best to leave it to an outsider,” said Shozu, obviously displeased with the way things were turning out, but the warmaster's patience was growing thin.
“I have said that Kurogane-san can watch over his companion and that is final.” He glared at the commander, waiting to see if he would continue to protest, but Shozu only nodded.
“Yes sir, I will accept your judgment, now if you'll excuse me I should be going to practice.” With that the scarred warrior stormed out of the clearing. Mizuro walked over to the pillory, pulling out a set of keys. He gestured for Kuro to come over.
“You may wish to help him, he will most likely be a bit unsteady after spending a night like this.” Kuro nodded and caught Fai as the smaller man slid out of the pillory. He pulled one thin arm around his neck to support the man and bowed his thanks to the warmaster who waved him on his way.
Fai blinked up at him and smiled widely making Kuro roll his eyes. The warrior began to half drag the blonde back towards their tent, thankful that he didn't babble the whole way there.
“I don't know what you could be smiling for, can't imagine you actually got any sleep like that and you probably ache like hell,” he muttered. He had to admit that the magician was acting off, but he was probably just tired. He dragged Fai into their tent and carefully lowered Fai into a chair.
That's when he spotted it, as he was about to let go of Fai's arm he noticed the raw skin around Fai's wrist and grabbed a hold of his hand, pulling back the sleeve to get a better look.
“Why the hell did you do that to yourself?” He asked angrily, holding the wrist up in front of Fai's face, but the magician just smiled his fake smile at him and shrugged, withdrawing his hand from the warrior's grasp. Kuro grabbed the other hand and examined that wrist as well, shaking his head and muttering under his breath about people who didn't take care of themselves.
The warrior crossed the tent to grab a clean uniform, shoving it at Fai and pulling the man out of the chair to turn him towards the entrance of the tent. He put a hand on Fai's shoulder, ready to lead the man to the showers but was startled when Fai let out small cry and violently jerked away. Kuro could only stare at the magician who babbled something quickly, holding up the clothes and almost running out of the tent, smile still intact.
Kuro continued staring at the entrance of the tent, too shocked to do anything else. What the hell had that been? What was going on with Fai? Nothing that had happened in the past two days had made any sense to the warrior. First Fai supposedly attacks other soldiers, then the panicked gaze, then last night Fai had looked genuinely happy to see Kuro only to end up giving him the fake smile, now this.
Puzzled just wasn't a strong enough word for what Kuro was feeling. He vowed that he would find answers. He would figure out what was wrong with Fai, and so he sat down to wait for the magician's return.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Fai walked into the showers to find them surprisingly empty. He carefully peeled off his clothes and began taking account of the damage done. There was surprisingly little blood, much less than he had expected, his panicked mind having exaggerated every sensation the night before. His hips were covered with bruises that ran all the way up his sides and along his shoulders. The magician carefully felt at his ribs, breathing a sigh of relief that though bruised, none felt broken.
The muscles of his back protested as the blonde reached behind himself, feeling the raised welts from the scratches. He was sure that his back was just as black and blue as the rest of him.
The hot water of the shower felt like heaven to the battered man as he stepped in, letting it wash away the blood and grime, the tainted feeling that had been left on his skin after being touched by those men. Fai scrubbed at himself, wanting to wash away the feeling of their hands, but being careful enough not to hurt his tender flesh.
He turned his attention to washing away the blood that continued to stick to his thighs, as well as the cum that had seeped out of him. The blonde shuddered at the thought of what had filled him the night before and he could feel a tear roll down his cheek, soon lost among the shower water.
More than any other pain, the pain of the wounds hidden away inside of him were the worst, both the ones hidden deep in his flesh as well as the ones in his soul. He briefly wished his red-eyed warrior was there, willing to soothe away the magician's pain.
He could feel his cheeks turn red at his reaction to the warrior's hand on his shoulder and cursed himself. There was no telling what the man thought of that. Kuro's hand had come down rather hard on a very big bruise though and Fai hadn't been prepared for that.
It was just as well that the man hadn't come with him anyways. Considering Kuro's reaction to the state of Fai's wrists the blonde grimaced to think what the warrior would do if he saw the rest of Fai's body. Though he wouldn't have minded if the man had come to stand guard outside of the showers.
The water ran over pale, bruised skin, the outer shell of a hollow body. In truth, Fai had stopped thinking of himself as human a long time ago, if he ever had thought that in the first place. The magician thought of himself as an object, the only meaning in his life was to please others. If he couldn't do that, then he was a failure. Everything about the blonde was weak, his emotions, his body, everything that is, except for his magic.
But even that magic was useless to him now. Without his tattoo, Fai couldn't use the core of his magic and didn't want to think of what would happen if he tried. That made Fai even more useless, worthless, a completely pathetic excuse for a human. The magician felt himself sliding to the floor at those thoughts, a familiar feeling filling him, filling the void that existed under his skin. His chest burst with agony and tears began to flow down his cheeks.
This was the reason he deserved all of the pain that came to him. It was the reason he hid himself, not wanting to subject his companions to the emptiness, to the ugliness that was inside of him. All this broken man could do was give everything of himself to others, and hope it would make up for his very existence.
Fai sat, naked, on the shower floor, staring at nothing as the water cascaded over him and trying to end the tears that just wouldn't stop, but his continuing mantra of self-hatred wouldn't allow it. He was startled out of his self-inflicted torture when a hand moved over him, turning the knob to shut off the water. But the hand was not Kuro's and he choked back a sob, knowing who stood over him even before the man began to chuckle.
The blonde slowly looked over his shoulder, up at the man who towered over him, and tried to scoot away only to end up with his back against the cold wall. Scarface squatted down in front if him, filling Fai's vision and making him feel trapped, speaking to him in that unknown language. The magician could only cower against the wall, too broken and scared to think of fighting back.
He closed his eyes and swallowed hard as callused fingers trailed down his neck, fingernails moving down and scoring his chest before the man spread Fai's thighs and roughly began to fondle him. The broken man let out a whimper as Scarface dragged him away from the wall, pinning Fai to the ground with one hand and pressing two fingers to the thinner man's entrance. The fat man smiled sadistically at Fai and shoved them in, scissoring his fingers. Fai cried out at the renewed pain caused by the invasion but only continued to lie under the man, trembling.
Scarface chuckled again and spoke to Fai in his gravely voice, sounding pleased. He pulled the fingers out and nodded in satisfaction at the blood, smearing it on Fai's chest to wipe his fingers clean. The man stood and kicked Fai in the side once before leaving.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Kuro was ready to go look for the magician when Fai finally entered the tent, his head lowered and bangs obscuring his eyes. Kuro's eyes followed the other man observing his careful movements, the night spent hunched over must have been harder on Fai than the warrior had thought. Fai wasn't one to make a big deal about his injuries, but now he was moving like a wounded animal.
The warrior rose from his seat and grabbed a jar off the table by his futon. While Fai had been in the shower Kuro had visited the camp doctor. He'd been given an ointment that helped the skin heal as well as soothe sore muscles, many of the men used it after battle. Kuro put a hand on Fai's arm and gently led the man to a chair. His head still down and eyes obscured by his bangs, Fai let himself be led.
Kuro held the jar in front of Fai but realized he didn't know how to convey what it was for without showing the blonde. He felt like starting with eye contact would be good.
“You going to stare at your lap all day?” The warrior put a finger under Fai's chin and lifted his head so their gazes would meet. Kuro could see that Fai's eyes were rimmed with red as though he'd been crying recently and although that stupid smile was spread across his face Kuro could see hint of fear in those blue eyes. He blinked, thinking that Fai's eyes were darker than he remembered them, but shook it off.
The red-eyed warrior slowly withdrew his finger and knelt in front of Fai, holding up the jar again.
“This will help your wrists and your muscles, not that you understand me,” he said, keeping his tone gentle, hoping he could soothe away the pain as well as the fear. Fai watched him curiously as he opened the jar and dipped his fingers in, then took one of Fai's hands and carefully pushed back the sleeve.
He gently began rubbing the ointment into the small, damaged wrists. Although the warrior wasn't looking at Fai's face he didn't miss the look of surprise that the magician gave him. Kuro continued his work on the other wrist, pleased to note that the blonde was definitely beginning to relax.
When he finished, Kuro tried to convey that the magician could apply it to his sore muscles as well, only to receive more looks of confusion. He pointed at the jar, then pointed at Fai's shoulder, “for your back,” he tried only to receive a wide-eyed and slightly panicked look from the blonde.
“What the hell is the problem now?” Kuro shoved the jar at Fai, “just take it and use it as you see fit.” The warrior shook his head and pointed at Fai, taking one of the magician's wrists in hand, “I wish you could tell me what was going on, why you did this to yourself,” he held the wrist up between them and dropped it.
“Or why you've been crying,” Kuro brushed a rough finger down Fai's cheek, to emphasize the point. He noticed how Fai tensed up slightly, as if he wanted to flinch away. The blonde smiled at Kuro and babbled something before getting up and leaving the tent.
Kuro grumbled to himself, falling back into the chair. Damned magician, what the hell was going on? Only a blind man wouldn't see that something was happening to the blonde, Kuro just didn't know what. The warrior was sure that if his companion was in more trouble than he could handle he would have tried to tell Kuro.
It wasn't his business to interfere where he wasn't wanted, but that didn't stop the doubt that was growing in his heart. Waiting was not Kuro's strong suit, but Fai would come to him when he was needed. Wouldn't he?
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Fai could feel his heart pounding as he peered out into the darkness around him. He felt as if he'd been walking for hours and couldn't figure out where he was. He could feel someone watching him, making his skin crawl.
Familiar laughter bubbled out of the darkness behind the magician. His breath caught in his chest and he began to run. Trees seemed to sprout out of the darkness around the magician, their limbs trying to grab his clothing, their roots trying to trip him. Fai scrambled frantically forward into the darkness with the laughter all around him.
“Go ahead and run my pet,” called out a voice, “you can't escape what you deserve.” Fai couldn't breathe anymore, he felt his foot catch on something and went tumbling, landing on his back.
They came out of the darkness, faces fading into recognition. Scarface and his friends stood over him, leering and laughing. “Are you ready for the real fun?” Fai felt himself pulled from the ground, their hands were all over him and he began whimpering.
“You don't like it? Then you should do something about it,” the scarred warrior sneered at him, “but you can't can you, you're a coward, a weakling, a worthless piece of meat.” The fat man slammed the blonde into a tree, pinning the smaller man with his body. “Or maybe you don't stop it, because you like it, hmm?”
“No,” cried Fai, “stop it, please.”
Scarface laughed, it bubbled up from his stomach and burst from his mouth, “make us.” Fists began flying and once again Fai's world was nothing but pain. He found himself on the ground, the other men standing over him once more, their laughter rolling over him.
“What is going on?” The booming voice silenced the laughing men and Fai nearly sobbed with relief.
Kurogane.
The magician lifted his head from the ground to see Kuro stepping from the darkness, Mokona and the children behind him. “Kuro-san, please,” he wheezed, barely able to see through the pain.
Kuro gazed down on him, his face filled with disgust. Behind the warrior the children looked at him with pity and disappointment.
“I can see it now, you're pathetic,” Kuro spat.
“You can't even defend yourself and you expected us to believe that you would help us,” asked Syaoran.
“Why Fai-san? I believed in you,” said the princess, tears in her eyes, she hugged Mokona tightly. The manju-bun just stared sadly at him.
“You're such a disgusting piece of waste,” sneered Kurogane as he turned, leading the children away, “if you're still waiting for someone to save you, then go ahead, I'm not wasting my time on someone who won't even try to save themselves. You're of no use to us anyways.”
The group began fading into the darkness while Scarface and his buddies began closing in. As Fai watched his friends walk away from him, the blonde felt the final pieces of his heart shatter. He hadn't known them long, but his companions had become the world to him. They were right, he was useless to him. The only people who wanted him were the people who could take something from him.
The pain began filling his chest again and with it a fire. A fire to consume the pain, to end it once and for all. What was the point of life now that his friends had seen him for what he truly was? The fire grew and crackled around him. The air began to fill with screams and he realized what was happening, too late.
The men's laughter was replaced with tortured screams of pain. In the distance he could hear the shouts of his friends and the scared cries of the princess. Fai could feel the power flowing from his core, engulfing him and everything near him. He was choking, he couldn't stop it.
The magician could see his friends now, their faces filled with fear as his power surrounded them. Fai could hear their screams as the fire engulfed them, followed by the darkness.
The blonde fell to his knees, unable to comprehend what he had just done. The darkness surrounded him and he sobbed. The faces of his companions appeared before him, he could see them in the darkness, he could see the pain and the fear. The other warriors lay around him, shock evident on their faces. Fai could only stare around himself, too shocked to know what to do.
“Will you ever learn control, dear Fai?” Fai rose to his feet, looking around for the voice. “Will you ever learn that I am the only one who will never leave you, the only one who can accept you?”
The blonde's eyes grew large and he gasped quietly, “no.”
“Yes,” said the smiling figure, slowly emerging from the darkness, stepping over the lifeless bodies of his friends. “A valiant effort my dear one, but futile, you should never have tried to run from me. You should have known the pain you would cause. None of this had to happen.”
His knees met the cold ground and he felt the cold truth settle inside of him. A tear fell from his pale chin and a whispered name floated through the air.
Ashura.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
*Evil laughter* If you're left wondering what the hell is going on after that last scene then my job here is done.
A/N (Part 2): Please do tell me how well I'm keeping them IC, I really am aiming for that. And the chapter names might get a reworking, since I changed my outline I may have to rewrite my poem.
I tried not to let that last scene be too obvious, but I'm not sure if I succeeded. If you don't have a clue what I'm talking about then I succeeded, if you guessed what's going on then I'm torn between wanting to know that you got it and not letting you spoil it for others.
And if anyone thinks they can deal with a relatively obsessive author (Hint, if you hate reading my author's notes and shudder at my blog then just enjoy the story and let someone else do the work), I'm looking for someone who I can bounce ideas off of. Preferably someone who spends a good amount of time online, just email me if you're interested, or IM me, though anyone who doesn't seem to have a grasp on basic punctuation, spelling, or sentence structure probably won't get to help me. I'll understand if I have no offers.
But you know you love me....
Pairing: KuroganexFai
Warnings: Yaoi (that means Male and Male), Lemons (That means graphic sex but only on AFF otherwise it'll be lime), non-con/rape, and of course, seeing as they are guys, there will be anal.
A/N: There's a very long thanks to my reviewers in my blog....
Let's all pretend that those guys at least pulled Fai's pants up in the last chapter, cause I forgot to write it in I was so excited about finishing so early. They don't want to get caught and have their fun spoiled after all, or rather I don't want them caught yet, I still have more to put Fai through.
Let's also pretend they had modern showers with running water, cause I don't feel like going with the more authentic buckets of water.
I'm not too happy with the third section, so please forgive me if it's not my best, I especially gave up on the pronouns so it might be a little annoying to read. I got stuck on that section. And sorry for being so late, but on the bright side it's like twice as long as other chapters.
Now, on with the torture... I mean, story!
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Chapter 4: They Will Stumble Forward
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Kuro woke earlier than usual the next morning intent on finding Warmaster Mizuro to convince him to release Fai. As he walked towards the center of camp, the warrior could hear Mizuro's voice off to his right and thanked his luck that the man was so easy to find. He was surprised to find the man in discussion with Commander Shozu right in front of his captive companion, who was dazedly blinking up at the two men as if they had woken him up.
Mizuro nodded his acknowledgment as Kuro walked up. “Good morning, Kurogane-san. I was just about to come find you, I had some news that you will be pleased with,” he said, nodding towards Shozu, “Commander Shozu has graciously decided he is willing to drop the charges against your friend.”
Shozu nodded, smiling lazily at Kuro and glancing over at Fai whose eyes widened but smiled his goofy smile back. “There's something wrong with that boy,” said the fat man.
Mizuro turned to Kuro, “I'm more than happy to release him if you will keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't get into any more trouble.”
Shozu frowned and interrupted Mizuro, “Are you sure that you should let him do that, he's an outsider.”
“Outsider or not Kurogane-san has proven himself in battle and he is more familiar with this man, so I will entrust him to watching over his friend.”
“I would be more than happy to keep an eye on him, but I just do not think it best to leave it to an outsider,” said Shozu, obviously displeased with the way things were turning out, but the warmaster's patience was growing thin.
“I have said that Kurogane-san can watch over his companion and that is final.” He glared at the commander, waiting to see if he would continue to protest, but Shozu only nodded.
“Yes sir, I will accept your judgment, now if you'll excuse me I should be going to practice.” With that the scarred warrior stormed out of the clearing. Mizuro walked over to the pillory, pulling out a set of keys. He gestured for Kuro to come over.
“You may wish to help him, he will most likely be a bit unsteady after spending a night like this.” Kuro nodded and caught Fai as the smaller man slid out of the pillory. He pulled one thin arm around his neck to support the man and bowed his thanks to the warmaster who waved him on his way.
Fai blinked up at him and smiled widely making Kuro roll his eyes. The warrior began to half drag the blonde back towards their tent, thankful that he didn't babble the whole way there.
“I don't know what you could be smiling for, can't imagine you actually got any sleep like that and you probably ache like hell,” he muttered. He had to admit that the magician was acting off, but he was probably just tired. He dragged Fai into their tent and carefully lowered Fai into a chair.
That's when he spotted it, as he was about to let go of Fai's arm he noticed the raw skin around Fai's wrist and grabbed a hold of his hand, pulling back the sleeve to get a better look.
“Why the hell did you do that to yourself?” He asked angrily, holding the wrist up in front of Fai's face, but the magician just smiled his fake smile at him and shrugged, withdrawing his hand from the warrior's grasp. Kuro grabbed the other hand and examined that wrist as well, shaking his head and muttering under his breath about people who didn't take care of themselves.
The warrior crossed the tent to grab a clean uniform, shoving it at Fai and pulling the man out of the chair to turn him towards the entrance of the tent. He put a hand on Fai's shoulder, ready to lead the man to the showers but was startled when Fai let out small cry and violently jerked away. Kuro could only stare at the magician who babbled something quickly, holding up the clothes and almost running out of the tent, smile still intact.
Kuro continued staring at the entrance of the tent, too shocked to do anything else. What the hell had that been? What was going on with Fai? Nothing that had happened in the past two days had made any sense to the warrior. First Fai supposedly attacks other soldiers, then the panicked gaze, then last night Fai had looked genuinely happy to see Kuro only to end up giving him the fake smile, now this.
Puzzled just wasn't a strong enough word for what Kuro was feeling. He vowed that he would find answers. He would figure out what was wrong with Fai, and so he sat down to wait for the magician's return.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Fai walked into the showers to find them surprisingly empty. He carefully peeled off his clothes and began taking account of the damage done. There was surprisingly little blood, much less than he had expected, his panicked mind having exaggerated every sensation the night before. His hips were covered with bruises that ran all the way up his sides and along his shoulders. The magician carefully felt at his ribs, breathing a sigh of relief that though bruised, none felt broken.
The muscles of his back protested as the blonde reached behind himself, feeling the raised welts from the scratches. He was sure that his back was just as black and blue as the rest of him.
The hot water of the shower felt like heaven to the battered man as he stepped in, letting it wash away the blood and grime, the tainted feeling that had been left on his skin after being touched by those men. Fai scrubbed at himself, wanting to wash away the feeling of their hands, but being careful enough not to hurt his tender flesh.
He turned his attention to washing away the blood that continued to stick to his thighs, as well as the cum that had seeped out of him. The blonde shuddered at the thought of what had filled him the night before and he could feel a tear roll down his cheek, soon lost among the shower water.
More than any other pain, the pain of the wounds hidden away inside of him were the worst, both the ones hidden deep in his flesh as well as the ones in his soul. He briefly wished his red-eyed warrior was there, willing to soothe away the magician's pain.
He could feel his cheeks turn red at his reaction to the warrior's hand on his shoulder and cursed himself. There was no telling what the man thought of that. Kuro's hand had come down rather hard on a very big bruise though and Fai hadn't been prepared for that.
It was just as well that the man hadn't come with him anyways. Considering Kuro's reaction to the state of Fai's wrists the blonde grimaced to think what the warrior would do if he saw the rest of Fai's body. Though he wouldn't have minded if the man had come to stand guard outside of the showers.
The water ran over pale, bruised skin, the outer shell of a hollow body. In truth, Fai had stopped thinking of himself as human a long time ago, if he ever had thought that in the first place. The magician thought of himself as an object, the only meaning in his life was to please others. If he couldn't do that, then he was a failure. Everything about the blonde was weak, his emotions, his body, everything that is, except for his magic.
But even that magic was useless to him now. Without his tattoo, Fai couldn't use the core of his magic and didn't want to think of what would happen if he tried. That made Fai even more useless, worthless, a completely pathetic excuse for a human. The magician felt himself sliding to the floor at those thoughts, a familiar feeling filling him, filling the void that existed under his skin. His chest burst with agony and tears began to flow down his cheeks.
This was the reason he deserved all of the pain that came to him. It was the reason he hid himself, not wanting to subject his companions to the emptiness, to the ugliness that was inside of him. All this broken man could do was give everything of himself to others, and hope it would make up for his very existence.
Fai sat, naked, on the shower floor, staring at nothing as the water cascaded over him and trying to end the tears that just wouldn't stop, but his continuing mantra of self-hatred wouldn't allow it. He was startled out of his self-inflicted torture when a hand moved over him, turning the knob to shut off the water. But the hand was not Kuro's and he choked back a sob, knowing who stood over him even before the man began to chuckle.
The blonde slowly looked over his shoulder, up at the man who towered over him, and tried to scoot away only to end up with his back against the cold wall. Scarface squatted down in front if him, filling Fai's vision and making him feel trapped, speaking to him in that unknown language. The magician could only cower against the wall, too broken and scared to think of fighting back.
He closed his eyes and swallowed hard as callused fingers trailed down his neck, fingernails moving down and scoring his chest before the man spread Fai's thighs and roughly began to fondle him. The broken man let out a whimper as Scarface dragged him away from the wall, pinning Fai to the ground with one hand and pressing two fingers to the thinner man's entrance. The fat man smiled sadistically at Fai and shoved them in, scissoring his fingers. Fai cried out at the renewed pain caused by the invasion but only continued to lie under the man, trembling.
Scarface chuckled again and spoke to Fai in his gravely voice, sounding pleased. He pulled the fingers out and nodded in satisfaction at the blood, smearing it on Fai's chest to wipe his fingers clean. The man stood and kicked Fai in the side once before leaving.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Kuro was ready to go look for the magician when Fai finally entered the tent, his head lowered and bangs obscuring his eyes. Kuro's eyes followed the other man observing his careful movements, the night spent hunched over must have been harder on Fai than the warrior had thought. Fai wasn't one to make a big deal about his injuries, but now he was moving like a wounded animal.
The warrior rose from his seat and grabbed a jar off the table by his futon. While Fai had been in the shower Kuro had visited the camp doctor. He'd been given an ointment that helped the skin heal as well as soothe sore muscles, many of the men used it after battle. Kuro put a hand on Fai's arm and gently led the man to a chair. His head still down and eyes obscured by his bangs, Fai let himself be led.
Kuro held the jar in front of Fai but realized he didn't know how to convey what it was for without showing the blonde. He felt like starting with eye contact would be good.
“You going to stare at your lap all day?” The warrior put a finger under Fai's chin and lifted his head so their gazes would meet. Kuro could see that Fai's eyes were rimmed with red as though he'd been crying recently and although that stupid smile was spread across his face Kuro could see hint of fear in those blue eyes. He blinked, thinking that Fai's eyes were darker than he remembered them, but shook it off.
The red-eyed warrior slowly withdrew his finger and knelt in front of Fai, holding up the jar again.
“This will help your wrists and your muscles, not that you understand me,” he said, keeping his tone gentle, hoping he could soothe away the pain as well as the fear. Fai watched him curiously as he opened the jar and dipped his fingers in, then took one of Fai's hands and carefully pushed back the sleeve.
He gently began rubbing the ointment into the small, damaged wrists. Although the warrior wasn't looking at Fai's face he didn't miss the look of surprise that the magician gave him. Kuro continued his work on the other wrist, pleased to note that the blonde was definitely beginning to relax.
When he finished, Kuro tried to convey that the magician could apply it to his sore muscles as well, only to receive more looks of confusion. He pointed at the jar, then pointed at Fai's shoulder, “for your back,” he tried only to receive a wide-eyed and slightly panicked look from the blonde.
“What the hell is the problem now?” Kuro shoved the jar at Fai, “just take it and use it as you see fit.” The warrior shook his head and pointed at Fai, taking one of the magician's wrists in hand, “I wish you could tell me what was going on, why you did this to yourself,” he held the wrist up between them and dropped it.
“Or why you've been crying,” Kuro brushed a rough finger down Fai's cheek, to emphasize the point. He noticed how Fai tensed up slightly, as if he wanted to flinch away. The blonde smiled at Kuro and babbled something before getting up and leaving the tent.
Kuro grumbled to himself, falling back into the chair. Damned magician, what the hell was going on? Only a blind man wouldn't see that something was happening to the blonde, Kuro just didn't know what. The warrior was sure that if his companion was in more trouble than he could handle he would have tried to tell Kuro.
It wasn't his business to interfere where he wasn't wanted, but that didn't stop the doubt that was growing in his heart. Waiting was not Kuro's strong suit, but Fai would come to him when he was needed. Wouldn't he?
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Fai could feel his heart pounding as he peered out into the darkness around him. He felt as if he'd been walking for hours and couldn't figure out where he was. He could feel someone watching him, making his skin crawl.
Familiar laughter bubbled out of the darkness behind the magician. His breath caught in his chest and he began to run. Trees seemed to sprout out of the darkness around the magician, their limbs trying to grab his clothing, their roots trying to trip him. Fai scrambled frantically forward into the darkness with the laughter all around him.
“Go ahead and run my pet,” called out a voice, “you can't escape what you deserve.” Fai couldn't breathe anymore, he felt his foot catch on something and went tumbling, landing on his back.
They came out of the darkness, faces fading into recognition. Scarface and his friends stood over him, leering and laughing. “Are you ready for the real fun?” Fai felt himself pulled from the ground, their hands were all over him and he began whimpering.
“You don't like it? Then you should do something about it,” the scarred warrior sneered at him, “but you can't can you, you're a coward, a weakling, a worthless piece of meat.” The fat man slammed the blonde into a tree, pinning the smaller man with his body. “Or maybe you don't stop it, because you like it, hmm?”
“No,” cried Fai, “stop it, please.”
Scarface laughed, it bubbled up from his stomach and burst from his mouth, “make us.” Fists began flying and once again Fai's world was nothing but pain. He found himself on the ground, the other men standing over him once more, their laughter rolling over him.
“What is going on?” The booming voice silenced the laughing men and Fai nearly sobbed with relief.
Kurogane.
The magician lifted his head from the ground to see Kuro stepping from the darkness, Mokona and the children behind him. “Kuro-san, please,” he wheezed, barely able to see through the pain.
Kuro gazed down on him, his face filled with disgust. Behind the warrior the children looked at him with pity and disappointment.
“I can see it now, you're pathetic,” Kuro spat.
“You can't even defend yourself and you expected us to believe that you would help us,” asked Syaoran.
“Why Fai-san? I believed in you,” said the princess, tears in her eyes, she hugged Mokona tightly. The manju-bun just stared sadly at him.
“You're such a disgusting piece of waste,” sneered Kurogane as he turned, leading the children away, “if you're still waiting for someone to save you, then go ahead, I'm not wasting my time on someone who won't even try to save themselves. You're of no use to us anyways.”
The group began fading into the darkness while Scarface and his buddies began closing in. As Fai watched his friends walk away from him, the blonde felt the final pieces of his heart shatter. He hadn't known them long, but his companions had become the world to him. They were right, he was useless to him. The only people who wanted him were the people who could take something from him.
The pain began filling his chest again and with it a fire. A fire to consume the pain, to end it once and for all. What was the point of life now that his friends had seen him for what he truly was? The fire grew and crackled around him. The air began to fill with screams and he realized what was happening, too late.
The men's laughter was replaced with tortured screams of pain. In the distance he could hear the shouts of his friends and the scared cries of the princess. Fai could feel the power flowing from his core, engulfing him and everything near him. He was choking, he couldn't stop it.
The magician could see his friends now, their faces filled with fear as his power surrounded them. Fai could hear their screams as the fire engulfed them, followed by the darkness.
The blonde fell to his knees, unable to comprehend what he had just done. The darkness surrounded him and he sobbed. The faces of his companions appeared before him, he could see them in the darkness, he could see the pain and the fear. The other warriors lay around him, shock evident on their faces. Fai could only stare around himself, too shocked to know what to do.
“Will you ever learn control, dear Fai?” Fai rose to his feet, looking around for the voice. “Will you ever learn that I am the only one who will never leave you, the only one who can accept you?”
The blonde's eyes grew large and he gasped quietly, “no.”
“Yes,” said the smiling figure, slowly emerging from the darkness, stepping over the lifeless bodies of his friends. “A valiant effort my dear one, but futile, you should never have tried to run from me. You should have known the pain you would cause. None of this had to happen.”
His knees met the cold ground and he felt the cold truth settle inside of him. A tear fell from his pale chin and a whispered name floated through the air.
Ashura.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
*Evil laughter* If you're left wondering what the hell is going on after that last scene then my job here is done.
A/N (Part 2): Please do tell me how well I'm keeping them IC, I really am aiming for that. And the chapter names might get a reworking, since I changed my outline I may have to rewrite my poem.
I tried not to let that last scene be too obvious, but I'm not sure if I succeeded. If you don't have a clue what I'm talking about then I succeeded, if you guessed what's going on then I'm torn between wanting to know that you got it and not letting you spoil it for others.
And if anyone thinks they can deal with a relatively obsessive author (Hint, if you hate reading my author's notes and shudder at my blog then just enjoy the story and let someone else do the work), I'm looking for someone who I can bounce ideas off of. Preferably someone who spends a good amount of time online, just email me if you're interested, or IM me, though anyone who doesn't seem to have a grasp on basic punctuation, spelling, or sentence structure probably won't get to help me. I'll understand if I have no offers.
But you know you love me....