Tsubasa Chronicle Fan Fiction ❯ Whispered Scars ❯ Chapter 2

Fai shuddered in Kurogane's arms. The ninja offered him protection and love. He was kept safe with the strength of his powerful arms. He didn't want to waste this opportunity; he didn't want to waste his sudden tears. No matter what it took, he had to save his tears for when he was alone again.

 

“Let me go,” Fai whispered. “I'm not comfortable like this.”

 

“I'll undress too and then we'll both be naked. How about that?”

 

“I didn't want you to see,” Fai murmured, bowing his head as though shamed.

 

“Tell me what happened,” Kurogane ordered softly.

 

“Have you ever been so in love that no matter what else happened, it was okay because you were around that one you loved. That nothing would hurt as much as them completely leaving, ignoring your affections?” Fai asked. When Kurogane frowned and shook his head `no,' Fai smiled sadly and wrapped his long thin arms around Kurogane's neck. “I have been. I was so in love with Ashura-ou that I didn't care if he hurt me. He was touching me then! It didn't matter that his very touch spread like black acid through my body. That everywhere he touched either bleed, broke, or was bruised. I didn't care when he fucked me so hard I could barely walk for days! I didn't care! He was touching me; he was fucking me and not somebody else. But I was a fool Kuro-chan. And you knew that from the start.”

 

“Fai,” Kurogane whispered, his thick arms loose around the thin blond. He was being torn apart. He wanted desperately to console the trembling form in his arms. But he was also consumed with a jealousy he hadn't thought possible. He wanted to prove to Fai that he no longer had anything to fear. That the only one who would be touching him from now on would be the ninja who held him. “Fai, why didn't you tell me?”

 

“Because I didn't want to prove your fool theory true,” Fai sighed. “I explained it already, Kuro-chan. I wait for whomever it is that will sweep me away. I need somebody else to be complete. To be happy.”

 

“How long were you with him?” Kurogane asked softly.

 

“I was with him for nearly ten years. But we were lovers for a little more than seven,” Fai whispered, laying his head on Kurogane's strong shoulder.

 

“How old are you?”

 

“I'll be twenty-seven at Harvest.”

 

“So, August or September?”

 

“I don't know what those are. Explain them to me?” Fai asked, a hint of his old, fake smile dancing on his face.

 

“Never mind,” Kurogane growled. He was not going to be distracted by this slip of a coward who had somehow won his affections. “How did he do this to you?”

 

“I'm… please don't make me talk about it,” Fai begged softly. “I can't. I just… I can't,” Fai whimpered. “I can't talk about it.”

 

“I need to know,” Kurogane growled harshly. So I can repair the damage he's done to you before I have to go off and kill him. So I know what I'm killing him for. “I need to know so that when I kill him, I can tell him his crime against me.”

 

“You can't kill him. He's nigh invincible,” Fai laughed disbelievingly.

 

“Almost. He's not completely invincible. Nobody is. I'll kill him. That is my promise of protection to you,” Kurogane murmured softly.

 

“Kuro-chan?”

 

“How?” Kurogane demanded, ignoring the desperate pleading in Fai's soft voice.

 

“Once upon a time, Ashura-ou and I were lovers. I was completely and utterly absorbed by him. If he wanted me to do something, I had no problem obeying. No matter what it was. He was my life, I revolved around and he knew it. He figured it out and he used it against me,” Fai murmured softly, letting his mind wander off. He didn't think about what he was saying, he just kind of quieted as he recalled the day he'd decided he would have to stop Ashura-ou, if he was going to live past thirty.

 

Ashura-ou's black hair danced in the light breeze. Fai watched, mesmerized by the black silk until Ashura-ou's deep voice intruded. “Fai, I want you. Get on the bed.”

 

Nodding, Fai turned on his heel and moved to the king's large bed. Once, he had earned for the order, now he hated it. The king, fair but strict, was handsome. A youthful face- tanned and accented by long, black hair that was soft as silk. He was brought to the palace at sixteen, when his magic had manifested itself as a destructive force. He'd admired the king's unearthly beauty since then, unaware for so long of Ashura-ou's jealousy of Fai's own ethereal beauty.

 

Fai's train of though was interrupted as Ashura-ou's long fingers roughly undressed him, leaving red marks from his razor-sharp fingernails. With no warning to the blond, he shoved a long finger through the tight ring of muscles. A wordless scream erupted from Fai's and Ashura-ou responded kindly. He pushed Fai's face into the pillows, muffling the sound he delighted in.

 

Tears poured from Fai's clenched, blue eyes. He shouldn't have been surprised. Ashura-ou liked to hear the screaming of his lovers. Liked to know they felt everything he could do, everything he enjoyed doing. With the blood helping to lubricate his finger, Ashura-ou slid two more in. Fai cried out as the long, offensive fingers curled and spread, digging into his tender body, bringing him more pain than pleasure.

 

A gasp of pleasure ran through Fai when the thin invaders stroked his prostrate, almost lovingly. Ashura-ou's fingers withdrew and Fai whimpered with relief. He was relieved the fingers were no longer digging into his soft innards, but he dreaded what he knew came next. Already, this was an ancient ritual. Ashura-ou was never gentle. He hadn't been after a month. His scarred back from previous encounters was decorated in the elaborate, twisting form of the raven colored phoenix. He'd begged for it, given Ashura-ou's loathing of the scars he left. Not only did it help to control the massive power of destructive magical energy within him, the elaborate tattoo hid Ashura-ou's eyes from that which he hated to see. Imperfection.

 

His cheeks were parted and he clenched his jaw, desperate to not cry out, unable to stop himself as Ashura-ou pushed his heated, moist length deep within him. He was buried to the hilt when he moved his hands. Digging nails into Fai's small back, Ashura-ou curled his fingers, dragging them down the fleshy plains as he pulled out and thrust forward explosively.

 

Fai whimpered, unsure of crying out in pleasure over and over, thrust after thrust, he hit that deliciously sweet spot deep within. But with each movement, he dug his nails into the sensitive flesh. Finally, after what felt like an eternity to Fai, Ashura-ou shuddered as he came. When he was freed from Fai, he ordered the blond: “Wash and join me this evening. After court.”

 

“Y-yes Ashura-ou,” Fai managed softly.

 

The beautiful king withdrew, leaving him as no more than a broken wizard covered in blood, filled with useless semen. And as he regained his breath, he decided he had to do something. If Ashura-ou were allowed to continue on, Fai would surely die in his arms.

 

“Fai?” Kurogane's voice asked softly. The blond had trailed off softly, his eyes had glazed and he had been lost for a moment. He whimpered softly and glanced at Kurogane, as if he had only just realized that the ninja was even there.

 

“He called it love-making. But it wasn't love making, not after he'd learned to use my body against me. He would want to see blood and I had to let him see it,” Fai whispered, wrapping his arms around Kurogane's waist, snuggling as close as he could to the raven-headed ninja.

 

“How could you keep it up? Especially after you learned how he was?”

 

“Because I am not a solitary creature, Kuro-chan. I need somebody to hold me, somebody to keep me. I needed him to love me, to treat me as though he loved me, even if he didn't. If held me in his bed, I could pretend he was holding me with affection.”

 

“How did he do that?” Kurogane asked softly, tracing the aged scars.

 

“He would… For leverage… Don't make me explain,” Fai begged softly.

 

Kurogane's strong arms tightened their hold on his waist and he growled protectively, “I will never let that happen to you again.”

 

“How can you protect me from someone more powerful then yourself?”

 

“Because I will. I'll protect you and you don't have to worry about anything hurting you ever again.”

 

“Does this mean you love me, Kuro-chan?” Fai asked softly, pressing his head to Kurogane's strong shoulder.

 

“I won't deny it. But I won't admit it to everyone either.”

 

“You're so shy!” Fai teased. He placed a light kiss on Kurogane's clothed shoulder. “Now, I'm going to go get dressed because I don't like to be naked. It's not very comfortable for me.”

 

“I like you naked,” Kurogane shrugged, smiling at the silent blond. “I like you naked very much.”

 

A shiver of lust and something darker swam through Fai, covering him in gooseflesh, causing him to shift uncomfortably in Kurogane's arms. He had only, ever been with Ashura-ou. He'd taken his virginity and taught him to fear his body being touched, no matter how good it was supposed to feel.

 

“I like you that way too, Kuro-chan. But I still want to get dressed. I don't like being naked. Not anymore.”

 

“I want to. Can I?” Kurogane asked softly, his fingers dancing on the edge of the towel Fai wore.

 

“No,” Fai whimpered. “No,” he repeated more firmly.

 

And Kurogane moved his hands, letting them rest behind Fai, barely touching him. But to prove that he really did like the blond, and not for more than just a possibility of sex, he pressed his lips delicately to the suddenly broken wizard's lips.

 

Fai froze, not sure whether he could trust the delicate brushing of lips or not. When Kurogane began to pull back, however, he unfroze, not willing to lose the warmth against his lips.

 

But sadly, the chaste kiss had to end and Fai, feeling more than a little lost, looked into the crimson eyes above him. He needed the reassurance he could only find in another's arms. In somebody else commanding him. He wanted to give into Kurogane's very obvious lust, desire, wants. Whatever it meant to have the ninja own him. To be owned by somebody who would care about him once more. The stoic ninja pressed their foreheads together, closing his unique eyes.

 

“I'm sorry, Kuro-chan,” Fai whispered, pulling away from the larger man. He disentangled himself and moved swiftly away, all graceful pretenses vanished. He collected his clean clothing and retreated to the safety- the solitude- of the bathroom.

 

He shuddered as he closed and locked the door, desperate to keep some semblance of composure. He'd never nearly lost control like that, not with his traveling companions. He leaned heavily against the door and didn't try to stop his body from sliding down the cool wood.

 

Now that he was alone again, he could cry. And he had every right to. Kuro-chan had dragged up memories from a time long ago. He'd pushed them so far away from his conscious mind that he'd nearly forgotten them. He'd pushed Ashura-ou back as far as he could. The scars they left, he'd tried to ignore. He couldn't this time. Kuro-chan was far too smart for that.

 

And maybe, in his hidden heart, the one he tried to ignore, he'd wanted Kuro-chan to know. He was in love with the ninja. He could accept that. But he also loved his abusive king. If Kuro-chan could see his scars- scars he'd his obediently from Ashura-ou and still care for him, maybe he could allow himself the hope that he could move on.

 

After all, all he'd ever really wanted was to be swept away by his lover.