Tsubasa Chronicle Fan Fiction ❯ You're Not Alone ❯ Chapter 01 ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

You're Not Alone 1 / ??
Written by Jezz-Ra
Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters.  Yaoi, Lemon, Violence, Language, Angst
Disclaimer - I don't own Tsubasa or anything CLAMP related, don't make money off it.  Wish I did.

My other stories can be found under my author profile at any of my archive sites.
Archived at - adultfanfiction. net, fanfiction. net, and mediaminer. org ::: Anywhere else, ask!
Questions or Comments?  Email me at megami _ no _ remon @ hotmail. com  ((remove spaces))

// Blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - I know.  All my fans of my other fics will be like "NO OMG, you can't start ANOTHER story before finishing the in-progress ones!!...but I can't help it.   Fai on the brain after watching the anime.  I'd like to note now that I have only seen the anime and the OVAs, I have not (yet!) read the manga.  This story will take a different path.  If it is not canon, consider it creative license based upon my ignorance.  Likewise, there is the potential for spoilers - especially since I'm a rabid Fai fan.  I did a bit of research on his backstory so I shouldn't be TOO far off the money.

Story born January 17th, 2011.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Somet hing had gone wrong.  

In retrospect, Fai thought he should have better noticed the warning signs.  After all, he was, despite his lack of active practice, a very learned wizard.  He should have known better, should have known that a simple rest wasn't enough for Mokona no matter what his furry little friend had claimed.  

But he had been so willing to accept it at face value when Mokona had said everything was fine.  He was tired and wanted nothing more than to move on to the next world, since this one was turning up no trace of a feather and proving troublesome as well.  Nightmares had preyed upon him with increasing frequency of late, and he felt more agitated than usual.  Kurogane's eyes had been on him lately, taking note of far too many things that Fai would rather have left buried behind a wall of false smiles and lazy lies.  Kurogane's ruby gaze pierced him, though... made him feel exposed.  Vulnerable.  Hunted.

It wasn't as if a change of scenery would change the dynamics of their group.  Everything would continue as it was... but the world they were on was busy, heavily populated.  They had been largely stuck together in the one room they could afford on what little money they were able to scrape together.

There hadn't been anywhere to hide.  There hadn't been a place to distance himself from those too-knowing scarlet eyes.  There hadn't been a place to drift off to under some pretense, false or not, and avoid having to keep up his impish attitude or cheery smile.  The act usually came easily to him, naturally, but lately it had felt a little forced.  He needed a break.  He had hoped a change of scenery, perhaps one that would afford them a few nights under the stars, would give him the breathing time he needed to mentally regroup.  

When Mokona had begun releasing it's magic, the spell began normally enough.  Fai noticed without paying much attention the intricate spirals of lights, the elaborately formed runes glowing within the spells.  He could tell by looking at the magic circle itself precisely how all the lines of power tied in to form the whole, finding it distantly fascinating.  He had contemplated the spell in comparison to his own version several times.  On this particular occasion, however, he simply wasn't inclined to pay much attention.  He was just so tired...

He still should have noticed that some of the lines were weak, that the bonds of the spell weren't tight enough.  As soon as the dimensional vortex had opened to swallow them, he felt some of the supporting threads snapping.  It was similar to seeing threads of crystal vibrating at too high a pitch and then shattering in millions of shards of glistening light, falling away.

Around them, the dimensional tunnel had bucked and wavered.  They heard Mokona cry out, and then a rush of cold, black energy had roared through, sweeping them away.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Fai let out a pained hiss as he moved to sit up, bright pain spiking up his arm from his wrist.  He had landed badly on hard ground.  Ruefully he tested his wrist.  To his relief, it was merely sprained and not broken, as he had feared.  

The wizard took stock of himself as he finished sitting up.  Other than some minor bumps and bruises, he seemed to be in one piece.  It was nighttime out, but the moon was high and full, providing adequate light to see by.  He was laying in a field of dry grass and bare earth.  A short way in the distance he could see a solitary, twisty tree growing before the land dipped down a hill out of his immediate sight.

Fai got to his feet and dusted himself off a bit with his good hand, a slight smile twitching his lips for a moment as he watched the dirt and grass obediently fall free of his overcoat.  // I do so love this coat... // he mused to himself.  The thing was enchanted, of course - how else could it remain so white and pristine with as much of a beating as it was usually subjected to?  A minor sealing spell, cast many years ago when he was first beginning his studies in magic, easily repelled anything that would dare try to defile it.  It was a necessary precaution, of course...white was dreadfully hard to care for, even in a frozen world like Celes, and it just wouldn't do to wander around looking a mess.

Fai's attention snapped back to the present and a guilty look flashed through his crystalline blue eyes.  Here he was, worrying about his coat, with no idea if his friends were alive or hurt or even nearby!  // My friends... //  The thought turned bitter quickly.  What right did he have to call them friends, really?  You didn't lie to your friends.  You didn't keep all your life a secret from your friends.  They knew nothing about him.  Syaoran was polite to everyone and would forgive him anything, he knew... and Sakura didn't have it in her heart to dislike people.  She was a small sun in the darkest of worlds, and Fai would have given much, oh so much, to bask in the light she radiated in the lives of all those she touched.

// Kurogane... // Fai scowled briefly, although it bothered him that he couldn't muster much in the way of dark thoughts to go with the name.  The man saw through him far too easily.  He understood a few pieces of the puzzle, had stitched together a loose framework from the threads of clues Fai had accidently dropped.  He couldn't know the wizard's motivations, couldn't know so many things....but oh, how close he could cut with his guesses.  He had made sure Fai knew how low he thought him for all his lies, for the way he lived his life...and yet he'd fight to protect him anyway.  Fai hadn't forgotten the time in Outo when the demons had wounded his leg.  Even though Kurogane had afterwards told him how disgusted he was with him...the warrior had still stepped between him and the demons, ready to risk his life to protect his own.   // Oh, Kurogane.  I'd rather you hate me for everything I am than ever care for me for something I am not.  Its a shame.  I truly could consider you a friend. //

That was, of course, the biggest argument against the whole thing.  The people who cared about him, the people he cared about... it simply wasn't safe to be close to him.  Unfortunately for his four traveling companions, he simply wasn't that strong.  Despite his efforts, he did care about them.  Even if he wouldn't go out of his way to save his own life - in fact, it was probably far better for everyone if he DID die - he had the uneasy knowledge that he would do just about anything to protect them, damn the consequences.

// Someday, I'll be the death of them for feeling this way, // he sighed to himself, shaking his head and setting out to try and see if he could find his friends.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Fai's brooding had shifted gears, even if his mood was still dark.  The worries of the shadows that haunted him were taking second place to the much more present worry for his friends.  After two hours of searching, the only sign he had found were a few tatters of cloth that looked rather like pieces of Syaoran's cloak, a broken necklace chain that he recognized as Sakura's - though the charm was nowhere to be found - and Kurogane's ridiculous headgear.  He paused to consider it for a moment, still not entirely clear on how the ninja got the thing to stay on his head.  How much protection could it provide anyway?

Fai's attention was immediately diverted when he heard a soft groan not far off.  He hastily moved through the thick grass and very nearly tripped over Kurogane, not noticing his dark-clad form immediately.  Fai stumbled but managed to keep his balance before chuckling and squatting down next to the fallen warrior, who was just opening his eyes.   His face lit up in a smile, and his voice was a cheery chirp "Kuro-puu, you should have said something earlier!  I've been looking for you for a long time now.  It wasn't very nice for you to keep quiet and almost make me trip over you, you know!  Didn't you hear me calling for you?"

Kurogane's scarlet eyes locked on Fai's wide grin for a moment.  He completed the task of sitting up with a grunt.  Fai smiled wider, although he couldn't infer from Kurogane's response whether or not the warrior was alright.  Of course, it wasn't like Kurogane didn't answer half his questions with a grunt or growl anyway...

Fai's voice softened a bit as he let his eyes travel appraisingly over the ninja.  "Are you hurt anywhere, Kuro-pi? I took a bit of a fall myself, it'd seem.  Not a very good landing."  Here he held up his swollen wrist a bit after shifting Kurogane's headgear to his other arm.

Kurogane snatched his helm out of Fai's grip and stood up, checking himself over for injury and not finding anything.  He finally turned an exasperated look on Fai, and the words that came out of his mouth were all in Japanese.

Fai blinked several times.  "Oh dear, Kurgy.  It seems Mokona must be a great deal farther away than I had hoped. Without Mokona to translate, I can't understand a word you're saying!"

The only word he could make out of Fai's cheery, lilting gibberish was 'Mokona'.  He could guess at what the wizard may have said, however.  He finally spoke again.  "Syaoran? Sakura?"Fai shrugged helplessly, holding out his hands.  His tone was still cheerful, although he had the distinct impression Kurogane could see right through it.  "I've been looking for them, too, but you're the first one I've found.  I'm sure they're fine, I just don't know where to start checking."

Kurogane closed his eyes and heaved a sigh.  He had a strong feeling that the simple fact that he didn't understand a damn word the idiot mage was saying would hardly deter Fai from commenting.  Just where the hell were they, anyway?  It didn't look familiar at all, not that that was too much of a surprise considering how many possible times or worlds they could have been transported to.

Fai had, however, apparently given up speaking for the moment and had resumed looking around in the vain hope that he'd stumble across one of his other friends nearby.  Kurogane scrutinized the mage.  Fai's gait lacked its usual graceful flow, and he was cradling one arm, the one with the wounded wrist, against his chest.  His eyes had dark circles under them and even that damned plastic smile he always wore looked strained, forced.  

Who knew how long he had been out?  How long had Fai been searching for him and the others?  Kurogane had absolutely no doubt the mage had been indeed looking and worrying.  Despite himself and his seeming lack of regard for his own wellbeing, Kurogane knew he cared about Syaoran and Sakura and that damned pork bun.  However, he also knew how restless and exhausted the mage had been of late.  He'd heard Fai's strangled gasps when he'd wake from nightmares in a cold sweat, screams bubbling behind his lips and barely bitten back.  He'd seen how agitated...caged... the wizard had seemed the past few days.  Like so many other things, however, Fai obviously didn't want anyone else to know and hadn't said a word or dropped a hint for anyone, so Kurogane had let it go.

It wasn't his job to fight off the demons of the wizard's past, even if it did twang discordantly against his sense of honor to ignore a friend in need.   A friend?  Bah.  No, he was just a traveling companion....a liar, a weakling, and an idiot that insisted on playing the fool and acting fine and calling him by those damnable, increasingly ridiculous names...  but Kurogane wasn't going to let him get off that easily.   Fai may not care about his own life, but while he was traveling with Kurogane, the warrior damn well wasn't going to let him throw it away.  Not on his watch.   His honor would never allow it.  Besides, the kids and the pork bun would be devastated if something happened to him.

Kurogane huffed and stalked over to Fai.  "Fai."

Fai blinked and then broke out into a huge grin.  "Why Kurgy, I don't even remember the last time you called me by name!  I'm just so used to being called 'wizard' or 'idiot mage'....what's the occasion? I think I feel faint from shock!"

Kurogane grit his teeth.  One damn little word and he was getting mocked, he just KNEW it.  He could insult the idiot mage, but what good would that do when said idiot mage didn't understand him?  "We need to set up camp for the night, wizard, before you damn well fall over.  And take care of that arm.  Who knows when we'll find someone that can treat it?  If it gets worse, you could end up being damned sorry you ignored it."

Fai's only response was to smile helplessly at him, amusement - however false - dancing in his ice-crystal eyes.  Kurogane let out another disgruntled growl and snagged Fai's arm by the elbow, pulling it towards him.   He fished the startled wizard's wrist out of the huge sleeve of his fluffy overcoat and began lightly feeling it, checking for any signs of a break.

Fai squirmed, abruptly uncomfortable.  His personal bubble was being invaded.  It was nice - and a bit surprising - that Kurogane seemed to be concerned about his injury, but it was wholly unnecessary.  "Really, Kuro-puu, I'm fine.  Let go of me."  He attempted to jerk free but Kurogane merely growled and held on to him.  Fai relented with an uneasy sigh and allowed Kurogane to finish his examination.

After satisfying himself that the injury should heal without much trouble, Kurogane tore a strip from the trailing, jagged side of his cloak.  He used the makeshift bandage to wrap the sprain and then released Fai's arm, satisfied.

Fai gave Kurogane a beaming smile.  "Why thank you, Kurgy, it feels as good as new! "  He held the bandaged wrist aloft to punctuate his point.  Kurogane simply nodded, although he noted that Fai's body language didn't match his cheery face or tone.  Fai's other hand, the one not in question, had shifted to grip his coat together more tightly, as if trying to hide himself  from exposure.

// Hn... nightmares or something must be getting to him.  He has no damn reason to be afraid or run away from me. //  Kurogane turned on his heel and headed towards a tree before sitting against it.  Fai trailed behind him, occasionally calling for the others to no avail.  He did stare at Kurogane when the warrior sat down, however.

"Kuro-pi, I'm not sure if we should be stopping.  We still haven't found Sakura and Syaoran yet."

Kurogane grunted and then jabbed a finger forcefully in Fai's direction, then pointed at the ground.  Feeling vaguely foolish, he then did a brief pantomime of sleeping.

Fai was too tired to argue, even to mock the game of charades or pretend he didn't understand to draw more  of a show out of the taciturn ninja.  He really wanted to continue on, to see if they could find some trace of the others, but he was exhausted.  Maybe Kurogane was right.  They probably SHOULD get some sleep.  It wouldn't do to be falling asleep on his feet and accidently run into something hostile on this unfamiliar world.  He'd need his wits about him.  Who knew what they may have to fend off, what terrible fiend might have captured their friends?

If their friends had even landed in the same world or the same time as them.  If they were even still alive

Fai stretched out on the ground with a soft sigh as Kurogane lit a fire and then settled back against the tree.  He pulled his hood up a little higher, folding his uninjured arm under his head for a pillow.  His other hand had come free of his sleeve, and he stared at his bandaged wrist for a long time in silent contemplation.  Despite how tired he was, it was a long time before sleep finally rose up to claim him.


Converting /tmp/php5PrdVA to /dev/stdout