Twilight Fan Fiction ❯ Bette Noir ❯ Chapter Four ( Chapter 4 )

Bette Noir

*~*Chapter 4*~*

The sky was a dreary, overcast of grey clouds and muted blues. Droplets of rain tapped lightly on the windshield. The wet rubber of the motor-driven wipers were squeaking and thumping loudly to his preternatural senses as they moved back and forth across the Plexiglas. The pattern of the noises was steady, their rhythm unchanging and it drove him to near insanity. He shook his head, half-rolling his eyes. He often heard his human colleagues complain about thinking too much or having too many thoughts in their heads that they found it dizzying. The snort that slipped out from him unchecked was paired with an almost-sneer. They should try having the mental capacity and ability to multi-focus as only vampires could. It really would make their heads spin.

Carlisle tightened his grip on the steering wheel of the Mercedes as he drove through the winding tree-lined roads. Slowing down, he turned onto the quiet lane that led up to his house, hidden amongst the trees. The slow, steady beat of her heart and breathing drew his attention and he looked at the girl sleeping next to him in the passenger seat. The robin's egg-blue plaster cast encasing her palm and forearm seemed to mock him as he pulled the car into the house's driveway and turned off the engine.

Lips pursed in concern, Carlisle reached across the space between them and tucked Bella's hair behind her ear. His blond brows furrowed in concern when his cool fingers brushed against her heated skin. Taking in a deep, steadying breath, he let the backs of his fingers linger against her battered and bruised cheek. She was warm again. He had known that the cool saline was only a temporary solution to the raging fever she'd had earlier, but he had hoped that the fever wouldn't return quite so soon.

Carlisle watched Edward's brow furrow and knew that his son was about to argue with his unvoiced suggestion. Supporting Bella's arm with one hand, he checked to make certain the entirety of the newly applied cast was dry with the other. Lifting Bella easily into his arms, Carlisle carried her out to his car unseen by the hospital staff. Jasper held open the front passenger door of the Mercedes while the good doctor tucked her into the seat and fastened the belt.

“You two should hunt tonight,” Carlisle said, holding his hand up to silence Edward's coming objections. “Bella has been through quite a lot in the past seventy-two hours and, while I know that she seems calm now, tonight - I have a feeling - will be incredibly difficult for her. The last thing she needs is for either of you to lose control. Go. Hunt.”

Carlisle opened the passenger door and knelt down beside Bella's seat. This gentle girl, his - for now - human daughter had been through and lost so much in just three short days; the amount of physical and emotional trauma that she had and was still suffering was inconceivable.

He stood slowly, leaning over her inside the car and undid the seatbelt. Bella stirred, but didn't wake when he lifted her and eased her out of the car, cradling her to his chest as he nudged the car door closed with his knee. He carried her up to the front door whispering soothing bits of nonsense to her when she whimpered in her sleep.

“It's all right, Bella,” Carlisle spoke softly to her as he unlocked the front door and carried her inside.

It was moments like this that he wished he had Esme's gift for knowing instinctively how to comfort someone. He was sure if he was making the right move or doing the right thing. Bella nuzzled her cheek against his shoulder; drawing him from his thoughts and making him realize that he was standing inside Edward's room.

Taking a seat on the edge of Edward's bed, Carlisle looked down at the girl held cradled in his arms, unable to fully comprehend how everything had happened in such a short time. The bruises and abrasions littering her skin inspired a storm of conflicting emotions within him. The knowledge of the emotional trauma she already had, and would still be, suffering worried him greatly. Whimpering in her sleep, Bella tightened the hand that was fisted in the back of his shirt, and when she sought comfort by nuzzling her face into his chest, he selfishly held her closer.

The all-too vivid memory of cleaning, stitching and bandaging her wounds; the still too-strong scent of her blood, and her increased exhaustion as her body struggled to mend itself, scared the hell out of him. Carlisle took in a deep, steadying breath. Yes, he had been alive a very long time. Yes, he had both seen and treated wounds much worse than Bella's, in times when there hadn't been such things as anesthetics or analgesics. He closed his eyes, squeezing them tightly shut, before opening them wide, blinking as though he were trying to hold back tears. He looked down at the sleeping, battered girl in his arms. Never once, not once, had anyone he had treated - and let remain human - ever meant so very much to him before. Never once had his patient been a member of his own family.

It wasn't only Edward who would be affected if she were to somehow be lost from this world. Bella had so quickly become such a very important and irreplaceable member of his family. And after more than ninety years of being a closed-off, solitary creature, Edward had finally found the other half of his heart. If his son were ever to lose this very delicate, earth-bound angel…He trembled at thought.

Folding his body down over hers, he held her even closer, shielding her from anything he could. He could feel himself trembling as his hold on her tightened unconsciously and he wondered if any one member of his vampire family truly realized just how close they had come to losing Bella. That single thought - the all too real possibility of losing Bella before she had fully joined his family - brought with it the dry, aching, silent sobs that shook his frame and pricked his tightly closed eyes. He was glad that no one - aside from the girl he held - was there to bear witness to his break down.

Carlisle was pulled from the darkness of his thoughts by the feel of small, warm fingers smoothing across the cool skin of his cheek, and the roughness of the plaster cast brushing along his jaw line. Pulling back the tiniest bit, just enough to be able to see her face, Carlisle held his eyes closed as he tried to gather himself together. When his eyes opened, Bella was shocked to find the usual warm; sunshine-gold of his eyes had turned to a dark, burnt-butterscotch that was ringed by black. The feel of his silent grief had worried her, but the evidence of it in his eyes, made her want to shed the tears that would never again fall from his vampire eyes.

He tried to give her a reassuring smile; however the gesture manifested as a pained grimace instead. Bella could feel herself trembling as she released the bit of his shirt that had been twisted tightly in her hand and raised her palm to cup his cheek as she searched his eyes for an answer to his outpouring of grief. Her brow furrowed deeply, her bottom lip held tightly between her teeth as she studied the face - the eyes - of the vampire she had come to view as a second, and very beloved, father. She closed her eyes when he kissed her forehead and then held her close, her head tucked beneath his chin while he stroked her long, dark hair slowly and methodically.

“I'm all right, Sweetheart,” he said, unsure who he was trying to convince more - her or himself.

“You were crying,” she stated quietly, arguing against his reassurances.

Pulling his lips together in a sad grin, he smiled gently at the feel of her hand rubbing slowly against his back in an effort to soothe him. He resisted the urge to tighten his hold on her when he heard the movement through the forest as Edward and Jasper drew closer to the house, their hunt drawing to a close. He was once again pulled from his thoughts by Bella, though this time it was by the sweetness of her voice.

“You were so upset, Carlisle. You still are, I can tell,” Bella said leaning back to look into his eyes. “What happened?”

Holding her with one arm wrapped around her back, he tucked her hair behind one ear and then the other. Drawing in a shuddering breath in an effort to steady himself, he closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and meeting her gaze as he spoke.

“I treated your wounds, Bella,” he told her unnecessarily. “And after everything else that has already happened, it finally hit me how close we came to losing you.”

Bella surged forward, closing the infinitesimal distance between them to hold him tightly for a long moment. Though the strength of her embrace caused twinges of pain to ignite beneath her cast, she held onto him as though she were afraid to let go. When finally she did loosen her hold, she readily accepted Carlisle's silent guidance when he moved her to cradle her in the crook of his shoulder. He chose wisely to remain silent, able to feel the words that she had yet to speak and see the seriousness of them in the crease of her brow.

Bella rested in the comforting cradle of Carlisle's arms, her temple against his shoulder as she gathered her thoughts, trying to organize them in a manner that would make sense to someone else. Looking down at her hands, she picked at the edges of her cast until Carlisle's cool hand rested gently on top of her own, stilling her movements. Biting her lips as she searched for the right words to use to speak her thoughts, she looked up at him.

“I need to say this,” Bella spoke, the expression on her face deep in thought yet uncertain as she searched for the right words to speak what was on her mind. “I'm going to fumble this a bit and I know it may not make much sense, but I need for you to wait until I'm done before you say anything.”

Carlisle nodded and the gentle squeeze of his arm around her encouraging her to continue. “Charlie is my dad, and I can't lose him.” Her voice was rough and choked with emotion when she spoke. “I know that someday soon, when I become one of you, I will have to give him up, but I can't lose him like this.” Her voice cracked, breaking off on a half-sob that she stubbornly swallowed back and she silently thanked Carlisle when he slipped his hand against her palm to hold her tiny hand in his, letting her borrow his strength.

“As much as I love Charlie, you all have become home to me. No matter what happens - no matter how bad things get - as long as I can make it back here, back to this family, I know that everything will be all right.” She grew silent, sniffling back her tears and leaning more heavily against him before continuing. “But if I - if I were to somehow lose you all again, I would never survive it. Not even for a moment. You all - every single one of you - you're all a part of me now…There's no other way for me to explain it.”

Her voice trailed off and down in the silent living room below, Jasper and Edward looked up at the ceiling above their heads, listening in on the conversation taking place. Moving to sit on the stairs, feeling the intensity of the love of a father for his daughter, and just as strongly, feeling the love of a daughter for her father, Jasper closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He swore he could almost taste their emotions they were so strong. Knowing that neither Carlisle, nor Bella, would appreciate his augmenting their emotions in any way, he simply absorbed all he felt coming from them both while allowing Edward to feel it as well.

Edward remained silent, statuesque, as he sat on the couch, his eyes closed. To anyone else, he would've looked asleep, but his brother knew better. Though Jasper basked in the emotions, it was Carlisle's thoughts that captivated Edward. Where most times his father ran through so many thoughts, possibilities and cause-and-effect calculations in his head, this time there was only thought that kept looping through the older man's mind, surprising Edward with its ferocity: My daughter! Mine!

Carlisle felt his eyes pricking and his throat tightening as the emotion robbed him of his ability to speak. Careful of her injuries, he tightened his hold, cradling Bella to his chest while he gently stroked her hair.

“Don't ever think we don't feel the same way about you, Bella.” Carlisle's voice was low, choked and somehow restrained.

He wanted to say more, wanted to explain to her how painful it was for he and Esme - for his entire family - to leave her behind that time just after her birthday, but the words wouldn't come. He simply held her, unable to let her go, even for a moment. Bella curled closer, a yawn escaping her and causing a blush to rise in her cheeks.

“Go to sleep, Bella,” Carlisle said to her softly, loving the gentle mannerisms of his still-human daughter. “I'll stay with you until you're asleep,” he assured her, feeling her hand once again fist in the fabric of his shirt.

“You won't leave?” she asked and he could see the vulnerability she struggled to hide.

Bella's voice was so quiet that Carlisle doubted she had meant to speak the words aloud. Still, he assured her that he would remain with her. Toeing off his shoes, he brought his legs up on the bed and turned them, laying back on Edward's pillow while Bella settled herself on his chest and snuggled into his side, the warmth of her body heat soothing away his worry. She sighed quietly as sleep claimed her, her casted arm tucked beneath her chin.

* * *

The trees bent and swayed, long fingers of pines and firs reaching out to claw at her face and sides, only to break away and shatter against her impenetrable, stone-like skin. Warm, golden-fire sunlight streaked through the canopy of the trees to sparkle off her hands and face as though her skin were made of so many diamonds.

Orange, red and golden leaves swirled above the ground in funnels she created with the speed of her movements. It didn't matter how fast she moved, though, she couldn't escape the anger that clouded her mind and drove her to move even faster. Two hundred miles across the Canadian border, Rosalie had admitted to herself that she wasn't so much mad at Bella, as she was jealous of her. Admitting to that jealousy had only enraged her further.

Stopping short, she looked up at the darkening sky and for the first time let herself feel the fear caused by Bella's injuries. She knew that everyone - including Bella, herself - thought that she hated the girl. She didn't hate her at all, but to have admitted the truth would've been worse.

Rosalie was beautiful, achingly beautiful. Even when she had been human, she had always been the belle of the ball. The flash of a smile or the fluttering of her lashes had men running and tripping over themselves, just to be the first one to fall at her feet and do her bidding. She'd never had to ask for the attention or work to make the men lust after her; it all just came to her as natural and easy as breathing.

But the one person - the only­ person - to never be affected by her charms or unmatched beauty, had been besotted by a mousy, quiet little human girl. She had never been able to turn Edward's head - not once! But along came Bella. Brown hair, with no real depth of highlight, pale skin that, though flawless of any normal teenage acne, was not in anyway strikingly beautiful in Rosalie's opinion, and a gangly frame. There were so many reasons that Edward should have simply ignored Bella, but ever since he'd met her he had been following her around like a junkie seeking his next high!

Not only Edward, but her whole damn family was entranced by Bella for reason that she couldn't even begin to understand! Even Jasper was taken with her, and because of his talent for emotion, he was usually the last person to be swayed by other - human and vampire alike. Growling angrily at herself and the situation she'd found herself in, Rosalie's hand flashed out to her side, her fist ripping through the rough bark and hard trunk of the nearest tree.

“Rosalie Hale Cullen,” a delicate Spanish voice reproached her from behind. “There had best be a good reason you had for destroying my Norfolk Pine. Eleazar planted it for me, himself, twenty-five years ago.”

Rosalie turned around slowly, not wanting to bear witness to the disapproval she was sure to see on Carmen's face. The Spanish vampire was so much like Esme that there were times the blonde thought of her as a second mother. Disappointment, disapproval, either was ten times worse than anger in her opinion.

“Child,” Carmen said, looking into Rosalie's burnt amber orbs. “Tell me, what has happened to bring you to this point?”

Rosalie shook her head. She was a vampire, and thus, never felt fatigue. Now though, she suddenly found herself feeling older than all her years. Leaning heavily against the half-shattered tree behind her, Rosalie looked up at Carmen.

“Bella nearly died, and this time it had nothing to do with one of our kind hunting her.”

It wasn't long into her tale that Eleazar came to be by Carmen's side, his arm around his wife as he listened.

“If Bella is so gravely injured, and her human family in such tatters, than why are you here?” Kate asked as she approached.

“Isn't it obvious?” Tanya asked with an indelicate snort. “The bitch is jealous.”

* * *

Edward looked up from the book in his hands when Jasper's thoughts called to him. Blinking curiously at his brother, Edward stood and followed him outside.

`I have a feeling our conversation will get loud, brother. Bella needs her rest.'

“What is it you want to talk about?” Edward asked sitting on a boulder beside the river.

`You. Your reaction to Bella's injuries and her reaction to everything that has happened.'

Motioning for his brother to join him on the boulder, Edward waited for Jasper to continue.

“A paper cut, or bruise from being clumsy, and you become almost possessive in your efforts to take care of her and keep her safe. A random nightmare and you refuse to leave her side, preferring instead to hold and touch her as much as you can - as much as she'll let you.” Edward looked away, knowing the thoughts Jasper intended to speak and ashamed of the truth in them.

“Bella was gravely injured; she could easily have been killed or at the very least, left emotionally traumatized enough that she could've trapped herself inside of her own mind. At a time when she needs you the most you're afraid to even touch her. What's going on with you, Edward? I don't understand half of the emotions that I feel coming from you.”

“I…For the first time, I don't know what to do.” Edward's quiet confession made him sound lost and confused. “She could've died, Jasper.” His voice was rough, barely audible, yet at the same time startlingly loud. “When James attacked her, I was enraged, but now…now I'm afraid of making it worse for her.”

`How so?' Jasper queried quietly.

“What if I hold her too tight, or touch her in the wrong place and aggravate her injuries? What if I say the wrong thing and make it worse? I can't bear to see her cry.”

`She needs to cry, Edward. She needs to release the fear and grief she keeps bottling up or it will tear her apart.'

“What are you talking about?” Edward asked, locking eyes with Jasper. “I thought - everyone thinks - she's handling everything pretty good.”

Jasper snorted, moving to stand in front of Edward and looking at the wall of glass that was his brother's room.

“She's not handling this well at all, Edward,” Jasper spoke, his voice, though worried, held a note of reproach. “She's so afraid of the breakdown that I know she can feel coming, that she has chosen instead to hide from any negative emotion she has and bury them as deeply as she can…She's going to break, Edward,” Jasper cautioned, turning to stare his brother hard in the eye. “And when she does, it's going to painful and messy. For everyone.”

Jasper returned to the boulder, sitting down and leaning forward with his elbows resting on his thighs, his hands hanging down between his knees. “You can't be afraid to hold her when she asks you to,” he told his brother sagely. “If it worries you so much, that you might hurt her, than lay or sit back and let her curl up against you. Bella will let you know what position is comfortable for her. She needs you to hold her, Edward. She needs to not feel abandoned by you.”

Jasper felt Edward's shame and regret. Looking at his brother, he shook his head. “Edward, it's all right. It's a tough situation to be in.” Jasper closed his eyes, searching out Bella's emotions only to feel stillness from her. “She's asleep. Completely exhausted…”

“Carlisle's still with her,” Edward said, able to see Bella through his father's thoughts, through his eyes. “Is it just me, or does Bella get anxious anytime he's gone from her sight for too long?”

“Think about it for a minute, Edward,” Jasper said, a hint of amusement in his voice. “Renee and Phil are dead, Charlie could very well die, and though she knows that our kind is pretty much indestructible…”

“She's afraid Carlisle might disappear, too,” he finished.

“Yup.”

`Edward?'

Looking up when he heard Carlisle's voice in his mind, Edward searched for him in the window. `If you're close enough to hear my thoughts, Kate's on the phone. Rosalie's in Alaska.'

* * *

Emmett looked over at Alice, his sister unmoving and statuesque as she focused on a world that no one else could see. It had been two hours since a young doctor had come out to tell them that little Bella's father would soon be moved to recovery. The “something stupid” the man had done, had in fact, been climbing a tree in his family's back yard in order to jump on the roof. He had, for whatever reason decided to forgo using a ladder and ended up falling to a ground.

Apparently, from what the little girl had told them, her father had been a gymnast in high school and foolishly thought he could catch himself. Instead, he had ended up landing hard on his feet - hard enough to jam his leg bones together and shatter at least one patella. The damage had been extensive enough to require surgery to correct the problem.

Esme stood along the wall, near a curtained window, speaking softly into her cell phone. It was then, as Emmett listened in on the conversation, that he realized she was taking care of things for Bella. She was finalizing arrangements with the funeral home when Alice shot to her feet and began to pace impatiently, a scowl of concentration coloring her pixie-like face.

Kneeling down next to the mauve couch where little Bella lay sleeping; Emmett tucked his satin-lined black leather jacket closer around the child's shoulders. Touching the girl's soft, dark curls, he looked up to find Esme watching him. She was no longer talking on her cell phone, the device resting silently in her purse. She was simply watching him; the expression on her face was one of affectionate pride.

“She's a beautiful child,” Esme commented, enjoying the fatherly display coming from Emmett. “She's strong, Emmett.”

“You don't have to worry so much,” Alice said as came to Emmett's side and looked down at the sleeping child. “She will find us again, mainly because you will keep in contact with her.” She gave a lopsided grin at the sheepish expression on Emmett's face, his eyes never once leaving little Bella's face. “She'll be beautiful. Really beautiful. The next few years, though, are going to be hard.”

“How hard?” Emmett asked, concerned as he touched the child's hair, smoothing it away from her angelic face.

“I've already arranged for a cell phone to be sent to her. She'll have all of our numbers programmed in, but you will be the only one she calls.”

“Alice?” Esme's voice was cautious as she questioned her daughter's decision.

“It's been hard to, but I've searched her future,” Alice said nodding at the child. “She needs him.” Alice drew in a sharp breath, spinning on her heal so fast the move was unseen. “Charlie's out of surgery.”

They all grew tense and quiet as they waited for the doctor they could hear walking closer, to come out of the automatic double doors that led to the OR wing. Emmett turned to Alice, needing to know if Charlie was all right, but she shook her head `no' before he had even opened his mouth to voice the question.

“Swan family?” a man in scrubs asked as he stepped into the room.

“Yes,” Esme said, moving to stand in front of Alice and Emmett, creating a small triangle.

“Chief Swan survived the surgery; he's definitely a fighter.”

The man wasn't saying much and Esme could read the same tension in his shoulders that she'd often seen in Carlisle's before he had to tell a patient's family the `bad news'. Emmett could see the man's hesitation as well, the way he held back from saying something.

“What aren't you telling us?” Emmett asked a bit aggressively.

“He's on life support,” the man said regretfully. “The next forty-eight hours will be crucial. If he makes it through…” the man trailed off, hating this part of his job to the extreme.

“You don't think he will?” Esme asked, her eyes wide, fearful for what her Bella had already been through.

“Ma'am, in all honesty, the bullets did a lot of damage. One was a through and through, through his left shoulder. The other…the other bullet went in at an angle. It bounced around inside of him like a pinball game. Luckily, no major organs were hit, but it pierced through the lower quadrant of his right lung and lodged near his spine. He lost more than half of his blood by the time he made it to my table. It took us a long time, but we got the damage repaired and the bullet fragments removed. The rest is up to him.”

Esme nodded quietly, looking to Alice only to see the girl shake her head. The future was still uncertain; Charlie was nothing but a phasing blur in her future sight. Nothing was certain.

“Thank you,” Esme said to the doctor, her voice was quiet and restrained as she struggled to control her emotions. “Doctor if you would be so kind, my husband is Doctor Carlisle Cullen. If you would have Charlie's medical records faxed over to him so that we may prepare for his continued treatment?”

“Of course, Mrs. Cullen. I've heard of your husband, he's a good man.”

“Thank you.”

The doctor nodded slowly, pursing his lips before he looked her in the eye once more. “It will be a few hours before he will be moved from recovery into his own room. You all look like you could some rest and food, there's a little café just down the block.”

“Thank you, again,” Esme said, smiling gently as the man turned away and went back through the OR doors.

Alice plucked her cell phone from her pocket before the device even had a chance to ring and answered the incoming call. She spoke quickly and quietly to Kate, surprised to be the one the Denali sister had chosen to call. Answering what she could of the woman's questions, she soon ended the call, turning her attention on her brother.

“I know you're not happy that Rose took off, but believe me when I tell you that it's better this way.”

“She's in Denali,” he stated, having overheard the call.

“Is she coming home?” Esme asked, torn between the disappointment she felt at Rosalie's actions, and the worry she had for her emotional state.

“Not right away,” Alice said, her own voce growing taught with emotion. “The sisters want Rose to stay for awhile…” Alice trailed off, the desperate need to hear Jasper's voice causing her chest tighten painfully.

* * *

`Bella'

Carlisle looked down at the open journal sitting before him on the desk, surprised by how harsh his penmanship was. Taken off guard by the sight of his shaking hands, he dropped his pen into the divide between the pages and clasped his hands together in an effort to still them. He knew the sensation of the nausea he felt was only in his mind, caused by the emotions he'd been trying to fight away. Still, he bent over, his eyes tightly shut as he fought back the storm raging within him.

His eyes stung, his throat closing restricting breath he didn't need. He could feel his body shaking, his chest heaving with the dry sobs that he refused to give voice to. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and struggled to calm himself as he removed the device from his pants pocket. His limbs felt heavy as he rested his forearms against the lip of his desk, his smile was small and grateful when he saw his wife's name on the LCD display.

Answering the call on speaker, he placed the phone on his desk, closing his eyes slowly as he listened to his wife's sweet voice.

“I love you,” Esme said lieu of a greeting.

“My love, my Angel,” he spoke reverently, “I miss you so.”

Esme's velvet birdsong held him captivated with each word she spoke. With his eyes closed he could imagine that he was holding her in his arms, that she was there sitting on his lap as she often did when they were alone together in his study.

“She'll be all right, Carlisle,” Esme assured him, her gentle voice soothing. “Our girl is strong. She has all of us here to support her.”

His voice trembled when he spoke, the uncontrolled emotions he felt from earlier had calmed so quickly that they left him feeling weak.

“I can't stop seeing her laying there on our table, covered in blood and ice. There was so much blood…so many injuries…the feel of her in my arms when she cried…”

“I remember,” she told him, her voice quiet, melancholy, as her mind took her back to that night. “I have to go, my love. The doctor is coming out to speak with us again. I love you. Take care of our daughter.”

“I will. I love you.” He breathed in deeply as he ended the call and sat back in his chair.

Releasing slowly the breath that he'd been holding as he opened himself up to the emotions he'd been fighting against, Carlisle tucked his phone back into his pocket. Sitting up and pulling his chair just a little closer to his desk, he picked up his pen and turned once more to his open journal.

`My beautiful daughter, Bella, is asleep upstairs in Edward's room and I find my mind to be consumed with thoughts of her. I felt myself break today as the memories of her injuries overcame me, pushing away all rational sense that told me she was safe in my arms. I fear that the next few days are going to be very difficult for us all.

Charlie's doctor is doubtful that he will make it through the next forty-eight hours; and while I know that Charlie is a fighter, his injuries were extensive. Rosalie is in Denali with our friends there. Why she has so much trouble with Bella I will never know. My eldest daughter is, more often than not, very difficult for me to understand. From the beginning, Bella's mere presence has agitated her. There is no rational reason for her reaction. I have asked Jasper, and though he can sense her emotions clearly, he has no explanation for them either. Although there are times I have been tempted to ask Edward, I dare never intrude upon my own family in such a manner.'

Carlisle's head came up, his brow furrowing and his pen stilling when the first whimpers reached his ears. He waited silently, keeping absolutely still for a moment, just long enough to hear another whimper come from Bella. He was up and out of his office in a blur of half-seconds, his feet barely touching the stairs as he raced up them. He very nearly collided with both Jasper and Edward when they all came to the bedroom door simultaneously.

Stepping inside the room first, Carlisle looked to the bed to see Bella's chest heaving, tears dampening her face. She was still asleep, the nightmare ravaging her mind causing her to thrash and twist about. He caught her shoulders in his hands seconds after she rolled her cast beneath her body, pulling on the trapped arm in her sleep. Edward stayed near the door, watching as Jasper flew to Bella's other side and sat on the bed with her. He shook his head angry with himself. Edward had comforted Bella through so many other nightmares, especially after James, why was it so difficult for him to comfort her through this?

* * *

Deep in the back of her mind, Bella knew that she was dreaming. Yet for all her knowledge, the pain she felt and everything she saw, smelled, and felt, told her that her dream was, in fact, reality. No matter what she did, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop the flow of tears that choked her and shook her slight frame…

Her voice was choked by emotions too powerful to be controlled, her vision blurred by the ice and rain covering her windshield. A hissing voice that tried to form words sounded from the silver device next to her, and once more she begged her mother to speak to her. A gurgled moan was the only response she was given, followed after a long moment by a pained, exhausted whimper.

“No, mom! Don't go to sleep! Stay. Awake!”

She turned the corner hard, the gears grinding and protesting as she pushed the truck to go faster. The back tires spun, losing their grip on the icy road and causing the vehicle to fishtail wildly out of control. Tears of rage and desperation fell from her eyes as she fought for - and regained - control of the truck. She was panting, hyperventilating, as she struggled for control over the rising panic that threatened to drown her alive.

Racing around another dark corner, a blind curve already due to the thick foliage, the headlights of the truck flashed across the twisted and smoking remnants of a two-car crash. It was clear to anyone that the vehicles had hit head on, her mother's car so crushed it was barely recognizable. She pumped her foot furiously against the non-responsive break pedal and choked back a scream when she jerked the steering wheel to the right to avoid hitting the cars and lost control. Wet rubber screeched against icy-wet asphalt and a terrified, panicked scream sounded from the girl as she raised her arms up to cover her face.

The powerful `boom' of her truck colliding with the massive, unforgiving tree reverberated through the body of the vehicle like an earthquake, shattering the windshield and driver's side window. Her own pained, fearful cry sounded in her ears as she was thrown hard into the steering wheel, the force of the hit knocking her breath out of her and smacking her head against the side of the doorframe. Glass from the windshield had embedded itself deeply into her upper arms, and created superficial cuts along her brow and left cheek. Shaking so badly, she was afraid she would become ill; the girl did what she could to steady her breath.

She groaned, her eyes blinking open slowly and taking too long to focus, the world around her blurred and unsteady. She found herself to be lying on her side, pain lancing up her left side when she moved her leg, the ground beneath her frozen. Movement was painful. But as she struggled to a sitting position and choked on air thick with smoke, she found breathing to be excruciating. Resting against the side of her truck, she fought against the darkness that beckoned her and the nausea that twisted her stomach into nearly unbearable knots. Looking to her right, she saw the mangled mess that was left of the two cars twisted together and knew that she had to get to her mother.

The noxious scents of burning rubber, engine smoke, and blood choked and nauseated her. Bracing her right hand on the truck's front tire she tried to pull herself to her feet. Her hand slipped on the wet rubber, her feet unable to find purchase on the wet ice and she cried out as she fell to the ground, cutting and scraping the skin of her cheekbone on the road's unforgiving surface. Tiny pebbles and glass fragments embedded themselves into the heels of her hands as she struggled for purchase and once again tried to rise.

Steeling herself against the burning, stabbing pain in her left wrist and forearm and the throbbing ache in her left knee and hip, she pushed herself to her hands and knees. Her entire body trembled violently with the effort it took to simply stay crouched on all fours. Blinking quickly as she fought once more against the darkness, and bit back the bile rising to burn the back of her throat, she looked up only to be blinded by the too bright headlights of the cars in front of her.

“Mom,” she choked out weakly, not noticing when tears began streaming down her cheeks, mixing with the still falling rain.

She was dizzy - so dizzy that it took her four tries, with as many painful falls, to stand up and stay on her feet. Stumbling away from her truck, and fighting against the icy, wet road beneath her, she clenched her jaw against the pain that every move - every breath - brought and swallowed back the rising nausea. Shaking her head against the throbbing headache and vertigo that threatened to steal away her consciousness and blurred her vision, she made her way slowly, unsteadily to the twisted metal of the two cars in front of her.

It was so difficult to move and hurt so much to breathe. She stumbled, slipping in the ice and gathering rain water as she made her way to the twisted cars. She stopped cold when she looked at the cars that were mangled together. One was Charlie's cruiser; the other was Carlisle's Mercedes.

“No,” she choked, shaking her head back and forth, her hands covering her mouth. “No, no, no, no, no. NO!” she screamed, sobbing as she ran and stumbled toward the cars.

`Bella, wake up. You need to wake up, Sweetheart.'

`It's all right, Bella, you're safe. You're here with us.'

She knew the voices that came through to her, soft as whispers in her mind; she could hear Edward and Jasper talking to her. But stronger than the voices, were the sights of Carlisle, Esme, and Charlie's bodies tucked inside their cars. They were lifeless, unmoving, torn and broken, their blood spilled everywhere.

“No,” she whimpered, choking back a sob as she reached through the broken driver's side window of the Mercedes. “Wake up,” she begged, touching Carlisle's shoulder, his broken face.

She cried out, falling back, when both he and Esme burst into flames. The firs was so hot that it burned electric blue, the smoke as thick and black as tar. The sickening sweet smell of the smoke burned her throat and stung her eyes as she watched them turn to ash.

“NO!”

* * *

Bella screamed, terrified and grieving when she woke. Scrambling to get off the bed, the vampires surrounding her backed away; worried she was going to be sick. She ran out of the room, almost colliding with the wall in her haste. She didn't head for the bathroom, though, instead she ran into Carlisle and Esme's room, unable to control the sobs that broke from her, the sobs that choked her.

Jasper's hand shot out, catching himself against the wall as he doubled over, unable to handle the strength of the emotions coming from Bella. He had to get rid of the, push them away so that he could calm enough to regain control. He knew the very second Edward and Carlisle felt the emotions he projected, their movements stopping cold, for nanoseconds before Carlisle was once again following Bella, worry lines etched into his brow. Coming up behind Bella where she stood in the center of his room, Carlisle turned her around slowly, his hand on her shoulder.

“Bella?”

She looked up at the sound of his voice, the harsh sob that tore from her throat breaking his heart. The moment she saw him, she crumbled. She was trembling so violently when she fell against his chest, burying her face in his shirt. Her arms wrapped so tightly around his waist that he was afraid she would hurt herself, but he returned the embrace just as fiercely, kissing her hair and rubbing her back in slow gentle circles.

“Oh, Bella.” He hugged her close, stroking her hair. “Hush, Sweetheart, I've got you. I'm here.”

“I-I can't f-find her,” she whimpered, gripping the back of his shirt fiercely in her hand, her casted arm tight against his back.

“Find who, Bella?” Carlisle asked as he lifted her in his arms and carried her to his bed. He sat down, holding her in his lap and cuddled her close. The way her body shook with her sobs worried him.

Jasper and Edward stood near the door, both wanting to be near her and offer her their comfort, but both feeling as though they would be intruding if they moved any closer. Jasper had regained control of himself quickly, no longer projecting the painful emotions he felt coming from Bella, each wave stronger than the last, anxiety and desperation mixed in. Carlisle tucked her into the cradle of his shoulder, curling his arm around her shoulder as he held her.

“M-mama,” she choked out her voice catching on a hiccup. “I can't find her.”

Carlisle felt his eyes prick and his silent heart twist as he held her closer, trying to shield her from the ugliness of it all. “Sweetheart, Renee died, remember?”

“Not Renee,” she fairly growled. “Mama.”

“Bella?” Jasper said as he came up in front of Carlisle and knelt down in front of the girl, his hand touching her cheek when she looked at him. “Are you looking for Esme?”

“That's what I said,” she whimpered, hiccupping.

Jasper removed his cell phone from his pocket a mere second before it rang and was greeted by Alice's sweet voice. Esme was on the line not a second later, her voice concerned when she mentioned to him the nightmare Alice had seen. Edward stayed near the door of the bedroom, uncertain of what to do as he watched Jasper hand the phone to Bella, encouraging her to put the device up to her ear. Edward cursed himself once more. Why couldn't he comfort her? Why did he remain so frozen?

“Bella?” Esme's voice sounded from the device and Bella sobbed harshly into the phone, clutching it tighter in her hand. “I'm here, honey. I'm right here.”

Bella still had yet to realize that she was only calling Esme “Mama”, having not spoken the woman's name once since she woke. She felt Carlisle rest his cheek on top of her head, holding her close as he rocked her gently, Jasper staying where he knelt in front of them. The girl listened as Esme spoke to her, soothing her as much as she was able.

“I can come home, Bella,” Esme told her as the girl calmed, Jasper refusing to chase away the emotions she needed to deal with. “You just say the word, Bella, and I'll come home.”

Leaning into the cradle of Carlisle's arms, spent by her tears, Bella wanted so badly to ask Esme to come home, but couldn't stand the idea of being that selfish. She wasn't the only one who needed Esme, there was Charlie and the little Bella that Emmett had told her about last night when he called her before she went to bed. Ever since he'd happened across her one night, caught in the throes of a nightmare after James had attacked her, he'd taken to telling her stories of the memories he had of his human sisters before she fell asleep. She was sure Edward had known, but the way Emmett took care of her when Edward was away hunting always made her feel treasured to have found such a big brother in the dark haired vampire.

“No,” she said, her voice catching on her tears. “I-I'm ok.” Bella yawned, curling closer to Carlisle as sleep beckoned to her. “It was just a b-bad dream.”

“I don't care if it's a dream or not, Bella,” Esme said soothing her. “You need me and I'll be there.”

“O-k,” Bella said around another yawn, half-asleep already. “I love you,” she said, her eyes closing as sleep claimed her.

Carlisle touched his lips to Bella's hair as he took the phone from her limp hand. “She's asleep,” he told Esme, tucking the phone between his ear and shoulder as he moved Bella to lay her down in their bed. “You and I both know she won't ask for it,” he said and looked toward the door to find the entryway empty, Edward no longer there. “I think our son needs you, too.” He listened to her as he tucked the blankets around Bella. “I'll see you soon, my love...No, I'm going to stay with Bella. I don't want her to be alone if she has another nightmare.”

“And Edward?” Esme asked him. “How is he handling all of this?”

“Not well at all,” Jasper answered from where he stood at the foot of the bed, knowing that Esme would hear him clearly. He watched Carlisle put the call on speaker and toss the phone down below Bella's feet as he settled beside her on the bed. “I believe your counsel would help him greatly, Esme.”

“Alice is going to stay here with Emmett. Little Bella's father is out of surgery, but there's been no word on her mother, nor the baby. Alice has suffered migraines trying to search for the woman's future, but can only see blurs of the baby.”

“Esme, use caution,” Carlisle warned gently. “Her mother could've died of be comatose from complications. How is her father doing?”

“He'll be needing a good deal of recovery time and quite a bit of physical therapy. It'll be at least a year, from the doctor's estimation, before he'll be able to walk unassisted. We've tried to find out what we can about any family that can come and help out, but it seems that neither mother nor father has any family to speak of. From what the doctor that knows the mother told us, they're both foster children.”

Carlisle sighed silently, bowing his head from where he sat next to Bella, his back against the headboard. “Call Eleazar and Carmen, explain the situation and let them speak to Little Bella. We can't have newborns in the house with Bella's injuries, but they might consider adding to their coven.”

“And the children?” Esme asked.

“If needed, we can take them in while their parents adjust to this life.”

“Alice is agreeing with you, she's calling Carmen now.”

Carlisle nodded, smoothing his fingers across Bella's brow. “I love you, Esme.”

“And I, you, Carlisle. Take care of our daughter, I'll be home soon.”

The phone beeped, signaling the end of the call and Jasper took the device. Tucking it back into his pants pocket, he climbed up on the bed and lay down on Bella's side, opposite Carlisle.

“You should go talk to Edward, he's very conflicted.”

Carlisle nodded, watching as Bella rolled onto her side in her sleep and curled into Jasper's side. Kissing her forehead, Jasper wrapped his arm around her back, his hand resting on her hip. Giving her a gentle squeeze, he infused ribbons of comfort and safety into her sleeping mind. Carlisle rose from the bed, ghosting from the room, searching for his son while leaving Bella in Jasper's care.

“You've got everyone in knots, you know,” Jasper whispered to the sleeping girl in his arms. “We all love you so much and are so worried about you. You'll never want for anything as long as you're with us.”

Bella curled closer, her casted arm resting on his chest. “Mine,” she mumbled in her sleep, much to his amusement.

“I think you'd have to fight Alice for that,” he joked lightly.

“My f'm'ly,” she responded, her voice muffled by sleep.

Jasper hugged her close, feeling his heart both tighten and expand with the emotions she inspired with her words.

“Always,” he promised her, reverently. “Always.”