Twilight Fan Fiction ❯ Bette Noir ❯ Chapter 9 ( Chapter 9 )

Chapter 9

Journal of Carlisle Cullen

To describe grief is to give voice and life to loss. There was nothing that could have prepared me, or any one of my family members for all that has happened in such a short time. Bella's injuries, while extensive, are a mix of superficial cuts and bruises as well as the more serious fractures of her wrist and ribs are not what have me worried the most. That right has been reserved for the grief that she has spent the past two weeks running from. Previously, Jasper had been instrumental in assisting Bella, helping her function beyond her pain. Until the funerals two days ago, not one of us knew the true extent of how crushing that grief was.

Edward lies with her now in his room upstairs as I sit here below in my office. Each time she had fallen asleep since the funerals she has woken screaming, crying, begging for what has happened not to be true. Esme and I have cooked Bella meals, soups, pastas, her favorite dishes, anything and everything, but she has refused food. The few times we have been successful in getting her to eat she has vomited shortly there after. Her stomach will not hold solid food; her emotions will not allow it. I have been forced to resort to meals in a bottle, protein drinks that are little more than an adult version of infant formula.

I had thought that I was doing the right thing in telling Jasper to leave, to travel to Seattle for a few days, but hindsight is always twenty-twenty. He needed the break, needed the time to be with Alice for a short while as much as I fear Bella needed the chance to truly feel the grief that she was experiencing. I had thought that Jasper had been controlling her grief, keeping it from her in a vain effort to protect her from the darkness of such a terrifying emotion, but since the morning of the funerals, I have come to realize that he was not the one erecting the barrier. Bella was.

The trauma of what she bore witness to as well as the emotions that could not be avoided were overwhelming to the point that she had simply found a way to turn them off, at least while she was awake. As she slept, her unconscious mind gave free reign to the emotions she denied herself the truth of and because of this her nightmares have been constant. Her terrified screams rip through this house, echoing with the force of hurricane. She is unable to sleep longer than an hour - ninety minutes at most - without screaming herself awake and no matter how horrible her dreams, Edward remains unable to wake her until her nightmare ends.

I have often thought of calling Jasper home, if only so that her dreams would not haunt her so, but I must consider my son as well. Jasper has always been the last one to speak. He stands by the wayside, watching and analyzing until he finds where he is needed most and then he executes whatever actions need be taken. This trait is a testament of his days as a Major in the Confederate Amy, it is what made him so skilled in leading his human troops and then later in guiding his creator, Maria, to glory during the newborn battles for dominance of the southern territories. But this trait of his is also what makes me worry for him more than the others. I have seen him take action with Bella, use his talent to soothe her and help her sleep while wearing himself down to such a point that he was needing to hunt almost every day.

For Jasper to need such a constant source of sustenance speaks of the toll Bella's emotions were taking on him as beforehand, he like the rest of my family, needed only to hunt once a fortnight. As much as I wish to call him back here, as much as I wish to beg for him to assist Bella, I fear that in doing so I will harm him. As much as Bella is my daughter, so too is Jasper my son and I must protect them both, even if it is from each other. By the heavens, I pray that I am making the right choice in not calling him home.

Carlisle looked up from his journal at the terrifying cry of Bella's screams. He heard Edward's voice, joined in close succession by Rosalie's. His daughter had become inseparable from Bella, even going so far as to help her dress and bathe. Looking away from the ceiling to glance at the presence he felt in the open doorway of his office, he found Esme to be standing silent as she stared at him. The expression on her face was awash with sadness, helplessness, her butterscotch eyes begging him for some kind of answer, some possible way to soothe Bella's pain. Sighing sadly, his eyes falling closed slowly, Carlisle shook his head. There was nothing he could do, he had no way of soothing her grief, her anguish was all consuming, her body only emphasizing that as she grew thinner.

Her body had already been in a weakened state, first by the crash she endured in addition to the nearly hour and half that she spent walking through the freezing rain to get to their house. Her injuries were compounded by her grief, by the way that her emotions made her continually sick to her stomach. The first few days she had been emotionally numb and because of that she had been able to eat a slightly larger amount, but on the third day her stomach had revolted.

“Carlisle,” Esme's voice was soft, pained as she pulled him from his thoughts. “What do we do?” she begged him for a solution, anything that might help Bella.

“We call Alice,” he said and gave a soft snort of tired amusement when his cell phone rang. “Hello Alice,” he said as he answered the call on speaker, not having to look at the caller ID to know that it was her.

“I've already sent Jasper back. I should warn you, he's upset that you didn't call earlier. The only way for Bella to get better is for Jasper to help control her emotions. Her grief is overpowering her.”

“There are other ways,” Carlisle began wondering if Jasper's influence would be the best solution for either of them.

“Drugs, Carlisle?” Rosalie asked from the doorway, a scowl on her face. “Do you really want to introduce more drugs into her system? Antidepressants would turn her into a zombie. Jasper has what she needs, and his assistance does not come with side effects.”

“Do we have the right to use Jasper like that?” Carlisle asked with a shake of his head, this situation was truly beyond his scope of experience.

“You're not using me,” Jasper's voice sounded as he passed by Carlisle's office on his way to the stairs. “You should've called earlier,” his Texan accent was thick with his disapproval.

:::::

He growled low, his lip curling back in a snarl as he raced through the thickness of the woods and trees. Alice's visions had been growing stronger with Bella, strong enough that during her last vision he had been able to feel Bella's emotions. He hadn't waited for Alice's words or a call from Forks, he had simply run. He had reached Forks in record time, not even a car could've gone as fast as he had. The air around him had split when he had reached the forests three miles outside his home, the sonic boom surprising even him.

He wasn't surprised to see Jacob standing sentry outside the house, his hulking form all the more giant as he stood on the rear balcony of the house. His rust colored fur moved with the grace of ocean waves in the breeze and his large head turned, lifting to look Jasper in the eye as he came to a stop on the outskirts of the woods. Taking in a deep breath, he gasped as the force of Bella's grief hit upon him like the wave of a monsoon, stopping him dead in his tracks in the yard outside the back door that led into the kitchen. He had taken a single step closer only to fall to his knees, her pain surging and pulsing stronger, reminding him of air raid siren.

Jacob leapt from the balcony, trotting to Jasper's side and standing next to the vampire's crumpled form. He and Edward may never see eye to eye, Bella too much a center piece for them to be much more than reluctant comrades in her protection. But the rest of the family had gained his respect and loyalty, Jasper gaining his gratitude as well for his help in easing both Bella's grief as well as his own. Flanking the southern vampire, he stood against Jasper's side before lying down and nudging his large head under his arm.

Jasper looked to the wolf at his side, feeling the calm of Jacob's emotions, his willingness to be used as a steadying stone. Nodding his thanks, he threaded his fingers through Jacob's thick fur and held on as he slowly rose to stand on all fours, bringing Jasper to his feet with him. Closing his eyes as he regained his balance with Jacob's help, he struggled for equilibrium in the midst of the grief, pain and fear outpouring from the girl lying inside the house. He understood from the emotions he felt coming from Bella's friend that Jacob was in his wolf form for two reasons: one, he was better able to protect Bella as a wolf and two, his own grief was easier to handle as a canine than as a human.

Taking in a deep breath as he wrapped his hand around the brass handle on the door, he watched Jacob retake his sentry position before turning back to the house and walking inside. He had been forced to block Bella's emotions at first, kneeling just inside the kitchen door, before slowly opening his mind to them once again. He heard the conversation in Carlisle's office as he passed by the open door, adding his own opinion before ascending the stairs. He was at Bella's side, kicking off his shoes and climbing into bed with her in moments. He wrapped her in his arms, taking her from Edward's hold as he cocooned her in his talent and pressed her cheek to his chest. Jasper kissed her forehead, spoke to her softly as he soothed her back to sleep and nodded to his brother, Edward breathing out a sigh as he settled down against Bella's back and wrapped his arms around her as well.

What the hell happened, Edward? Jasper asked his brother through his thoughts. When did things get this bad?

“Charlie's funeral,” he said, his voice too soft for human ears to detect. “Carlisle told her that Charlie was dead, but she didn't believe him. When she saw him lying in his coffin something inside her just…broke.”

“Why the hell didn't anyone call me `fore y'all took her to the funerals?” Jasper's voice was harsh, thick as he looked away from Edward to stare at his adoptive parents and sister who stood just inside the room.

“You needed the break, Jasper,” Carlisle said, his eyes daring the southern vampire to argue. “You were hunting almost every day when previously you had only needed to hunt once every week to two weeks. Her emotions were taking quite a toll on you.”

Bella stirred slightly, whimpering and Jasper clenched his jaw against the rising tide of her emotions. He hadn't hunted on his way home and was beginning to regret that oversight. Closing his eyes as he drew in a deep breath, Jasper wrapped his talent around her, separating her from her grief and anguish while filling her with love and safety. Opening his eyes to look at Carlisle, his golden eyes had darkened to a color reminiscent of brown sugar.

“I understand your reasoning, Carlisle. Were I in your place, I may even have made the same decision you did, but it doesn't mean that I like it,” Jasper said.

Looking down at the girl wrapped in his arms, he watched as she stirred again, her dark eyes fluttering open. Her brows furrowed in confusion, her right hand curling into a fist over her heart. She tipped her head up slowly, looked at Jasper as though she couldn't remember who he was for a moment before her eyes widened and she gasped. Bella choked on a sob as she wrapped her arms around Jasper, understanding without having to be told that the absence of her heart wrenching grief was due to his presence.

“I'm here, baby girl,” Jasper soothed her, stroking his hand down over her hair. “I'm here.”

:::::

Jasper returned a short while ago, his influence calming Bella, removing the insanity of her grief if only for a short while. I understand his anger at not having been called to her aide before now, and even though we all may be stronger and more indestructible than Bella, I still worry that Jasper is overexerting himself. I watched as his eyes went from gold to dark brown before my eyes as he laid with Bella and took away her grief. He will need to hunt again soon.

Carlisle sat his pen down in the open trench between the pages of his leather bound journal and held Bella's most recent chest X ray up to the light. The lower four ribs on her left hand side had been bruised and very fragile after her accident, but her insistence of sleeping on her side had taken the hurt bone from bruised to cracked with hairline fractures. As much as it hurt her to lie on her side, she refused to sleep any other way.

Her ribs are cracked, adding to her pain. Her lack of food and loss in weight has only made matters worse as her body does not have the necessary nutrients with which to heal itself. Were she a patient in a hospital, I would have inserted a feeding tube by now. The only thing that has stayed my hand from doing just that has been Alice. She insists that the introduction of a feeding tube would only make matters worse.

I am the father of this family, the leader of our coven, but I fear that my ability to be strong for those I love is beginning to weaken. I grieve for what my human daughter is going through, my heart aches for her in a way that I have not felt before. A part of me wants to change her now, before her condition deteriorates further as I fear it will. But a great part of me fears what may become of her if she were to be changed in the midst of her grief. My indecision stills my hand.

Carlisle looked up at Jasper walked into his office, Bella cradled in his arms. She was wrapped in a light blanket, swaddled like a child. Her eyes were barely open, her face tucked against Jasper's shoulder. Looking at his son quizzically, he expected Jasper to stop at some point, to tell him that Bella needed morphine or something else, but instead his son came up to his side.

“I sent Edward and Rosalie to hunt, they both needed it. Jacob's been keeping an active sentry around the house and Leah and Seth have been patrolling the woods in a five mile radius of our home. They're protecting us as much as they are Bella.” Jasper drew in a deep breath as he looked down at Bella and then back up at Carlisle. “Edward cannot read her thoughts; he didn't understand that all this time, she's wanted you and Esme.” Jasper laid Bella into Carlisle's arms watching as his father accepted her weight in his arms and amazed by how the intensity of her fear abated almost instantly as she blinked up at him. “She lost Charlie, was forced to accept his death in a manner that would've traumatized anyone else, but she still has both of you. She came to accept you long ago as her father in law, with Charlie and Renee dead; she has feared your deaths as well. She needs to feel you close, to feel your touch and hear your voices.”

“Carlisle.”

Bella's voice was soft enough that only one of his kind would've been able to hear it and he looked down into her sleep filled eyes. Tucking her hair behind her ear, he cradled her against his chest and kissed her brow.

“I'm here, Little One,” he promised, rocking her gently in his lap as she sniffled.

Bella took in a shuddering breath; her tears coming slowly as Jasper ever so slowly released his hold on her emotions. She moved, turning just enough to tuck herself closer against his side. He pulled up the end of the blanket when she moved her arm, the opening in the folds just enough for her to get her hand out and grasp a hold of his shirt in her fist. Her eyes fluttered closed and Carlisle could feel her muscles relax as she fell asleep against him.

Standing slowly, Carlisle closed his journal over the pen that lay in the folds and carried Bella up to his bedroom. Esme was already upstairs waiting for him. She had turned down the comforter, knowing that with Bella's loss in weight it was difficult for the girl to keep warm. A sad smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he laid Bella down gently in the middle of the bed. Esme pulled the blankets up over her before settling beside Bella on top of the covers. Carlisle took off his shoes, a stray thought occurring to him as he set his shoes down and he stood.

Human sense were so very dulled in comparison to vampire senses and as Jasper had said that she needed their physical presence, perhaps she needed his scent as well. Moving to his closet he withdrew a dark knit fisherman's sweater and brought it to the bed. Sitting down next Bella, opposite Esme, he looked down upon the sleeping girl. She looked so tiny lying there beneath the dark over stuffed blankets. Her eyes fluttered open, her sleep intermittent. She looked up at him, frowning at the change in position; Bella tried to sit up and looked at Esme when the woman supported her. Bella's eyes widened at the sight of Esme, it wasn't that she hadn't seen them since the funerals; they had been around plenty it was more that they hadn't been so close to her.

Bella turned, crying as she wrapped her arms around Esme's shoulders and the Cullen matriarch held her close. Rubbing her back and stroking her hair, Esme spoke soft comforts to Bella, promising her that she and Carlisle were not going to leave her or disappear on her as her parents had.

“Bella,” Carlisle's voice was soft, drawing her attention as she sat back from Esme. “I thought perhaps you would like something a little bit warmer to sleep in.”

Frowning as she pulled the blanket that had been wrapped around her out from under the blankets, she looked down at Edward's t-shirt that she was dressed in and up at Carlisle. He held up the sweater in his hands and Bella nodded her expression crumbling as she took the soft garment and held it up to her face to bury her nose in the soft cloth. How often in the weeks following James' attack had she taken comfort from sleeping in Edward's shirt, or Charlie's, or even Emmett's when he would stop by to check on her when Edward was out hunting. She tugged the sweater on with his help, Esme watching quietly with a soft smile.

Carlisle smiled, amused at how the long arms of his sweater swallowed her hands completely and he folded up the cuffs. Her eyes blinked heavily and he guided her back down to the pillows, tucking the blankets up under chin and encouraged her to sleep. Looking at his wife to find her gently stroking Bella's hair, he took in her expression and asked her to share her thoughts.

“I think we forget sometimes that Bella came into our lives not only as Edward's true love, but as our true daughter,” Esme said softly as Bella lay sleeping between them, further explaining her meaning at the sight of her husband's furrowed brow. “The others came to us on the brink of death, they accepted us as their adoptive parents, or adopted us,” she said with a smile thinking of Alice and Jasper. “But Bella, she has come into our family as a human. She looks at us, not just as her soon to be adoptive vampire in laws, but as adoptive parents as well. She loved her mother and her father, but I wonder how much she truly felt like a daughter to either of them.”

“What do you mean?” Carlisle asked as he lay down next to Bella and looked up at his wife.

“She loved Renee and Charlie without question,” Esme said, “but she often told me that Renee was flighty and a bit forgetful. Bella was the one who more often than not had to remember to cook dinner or make the grocery list for her mother to take shopping. Charlie she hadn't gotten to spend much of any time with until recently, and by then she was already grown. She told me once that he was easy to talk to, but often acted uncertain around her, as though he wasn't sure how to respond to her. She and her mother left Forks when she was only five, she told me that the only thing she remembered of Charlie before moving back was the last fight that he and her mother had that led to their leaving.”

“In other words,” Carlisle said as Bella curled closer to him in her sleep. “She was always taking care of them, rather than the other way around.”

“Yes,” Esme said as she lay back on the pillows, turning on her side to watch Bella sleep. “And with us…” she let her voice tail off and Carlisle finished her statement.

“We take care of her. She is ours to look after.”

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Journal of Jasper Whitlock, January 2010

I have felt emotion. I know the ice of hate and the fire of passion; I have felt the stillness of peace and the immobility of fear. I have tasted grief and I have known the beauty of love so pure and sweet that time itself would lie down and be still for. But never in my many years have I felt the all consuming, bone crushing anguish and sorrow that I felt coming from Bella.

The range of my ability has always seemed small. To feel and influence another's emotions I have always needed to be within one hundred feet or less of the person. What I felt through Alice's vision was only a hint of what I felt upon arriving home. I cannot remember ever having run so fast as I did early this morning. When I had left Alice with Emmett and the children the sun had barely peeked over the horizon and when I arrived in sight of our home in Forks, beautiful ribbons of reds and golds still painted the sky. I did not hunt on my way home, so great was my need to reach my sister, and I knew that my error in judgment would cost me greatly as soon as I broke through the forest surrounding our home.

I had not stepped within fifty yards of the back door when Bella's sorrow drove me to my knees. It felt as though an immeasurable weight had been placed upon my shoulders, the ground beneath me unable to support me any longer. Perhaps a more comprehensible analogy for what I felt would be as though I were trying to swim through a rip tide and strong undercurrent with leaden weights affixed to my feet. With nothing to hold onto, no solid ground to stand on, it was near impossible to keep my head above the water long enough to catch a single burning breath.

I was able to make it into the kitchen, my efforts spent blocking her emotion and letting it in minute amounts at a time until I had better control over its effect on me, when another wave of pain so great drove me to the ground again. Being an immortal as I am, I have no need of the air around me, but still I found myself struggling to breathe. I do not know how Bella was able to function with emotions that strong bearing down on her like some starving beast come to make a meal of her very soul. It took all of my considerable effort to forge a wall around her grief, to hold it back from her until she was able to catch her breath enough to endure it.

My brother and Bella's true mate, Edward, has always had a great advantage over the rest of us for his ability to read minds and know a person's thoughts and needs. With Bella, he has no such advantage, he cannot penetrate her mind and for that he knew not how to help her. He didn't understand the one basic need that her emotions told me as clearly as the brilliant sun shinning in through the windows. Bella's loss of her mother, her father and her step father have made her more than sensitive in her need of Carlisle and Esme. She has accepted them as her adoptive parents as much as they have accepted her as their daughter, but none of them understood that her fear of losing them as well has only made her grief that much worse.

Edward has done his best to comfort Bella, to let her know that he is there for her and that he loves her. As much as his presence is a source of comfort and strength for her, my human sister's heart cries out desperately for Carlisle and Esme more. She is desperate to feel them close to her, to know without doubt that they are there with her. Bella is not one of our kind yet, she cannot simply breathe deeply and smell them near or close her eyes and reach out for the feel of their presence. No, Bella is human and because of this her senses are incredibly dulled in comparison to ours. She needs to see them, touch them; she needs the physical reassurance of their voices, their arms.

My other siblings, even Emmett who is arguably the youngest of our family, have been as we are for so long that they have forgotten the need for the physical reassurance. The feel of one's presence is enough for one of our kind, but for Bella it is not. When I felt steady enough to open myself to Edward, to allow him to see through the turbulence of emotion and understand what she needed, he immediately felt ashamed as though he should've have know what she needed. He still does not allow himself the benefit of a doubt where Bella is concerned; believing his lack of ability to read her mind is no excuse for not knowing what she needs. I had to explain to him as best I could that some things, some needs, had no words with which to be told.

When I took Bella into my arms and carried her to Carlisle I could feel the madness of her fear and grief diminish greatly as I laid her in his arms. When I explained to him just what it was that she needed, the expression on his face mirrored his emotions and I was flooded with his compassion and fatherly affection. It was as though he had never considered one of his children to need him in such a human manner, but then again, Bella is his only human child. He studied her, regarded her as I have seen human men regard their newborn infants. She was not an infant in his eyes, more so she was a wonder to behold and his heart expanded in order to engulf her in his love and compassion.

She was calmed and comforted so much by the feel of his arms cradling her that I was stilled and left staring after his retreating form in awe as he carried her upstairs. I knew the moment that Esme had joined him by the feel of the peace infusing Bella's heart of which I had no influence. I believe that it is confusing for Edward to know that it is his parents that Bella needs and not him. She will of course look to him for strength, for love that only one's mate can provide, but for comfort from her grief and healing from her pain she will look to them.

She is sleeping now, lying wrapped in Carlisle's arms with Esme on her other side. She has been sleeping now for almost six hours and Edward has spoken to me of his surprise as previously during my absence, she had been waking up nearly every hour to two hours screaming from memories turned nightmares. Perhaps with the more attentive care she is now receiving from Carlisle and Esme she will find peace enough for her body to heal as it needs to. I do not know if I will be able to aid her in feeling calm enough to consume solid food once again, but I will do as much as I possibly can.

As my need of sustenance will no longer be denied, I will end this entry by saying this: emotion is not static nor is it something that is identical from one person to the next. Emotion is as ever changing and fluid as the oceans and it is the tie that binds us all as family.

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“Something's wrong with Jacob,” Edward told Carlisle as his father pulled the door to his bedroom closed, Esme still lying beside Bella as she slept in their bed.

“In what manner?” Carlisle asked, frowning as he descended the stairs with Edward and looked out the back door.

He watched as the giant russet colored wolf shook his head roughly and whined low. He looked unsteady as he moved closer to the balcony and shook his head again. His steps were slow; his huge legs vibrating with the effort it took him to walk.

“He wants to talk to you,” Edward said, opening the door and stepping outside with Carlisle. “He's been trying, but he's not strong enough to revert back to his human form.”

“Will you translate?” Carlisle asked, though the request was more a show of courtesy as his son had showed every intention of doing exactly that.

Carlisle walked down the wooden steps toward Jacob and was surprised when instead of backing away as he expected the wolf to do, he fell heavily to sit on his hindquarters, his shoulders trembling with the effort it took him to keep from falling down completely. Carlisle's eyes widened at the sight and he spoke a few soft words of comfort as he stepped closer and touched the rough fur of his snout, looking into Jacob's eyes as he listened to his harsh breathing. He looked exhausted and weak, something he was not used to seeing from the powerful wolf and was even more surprised by the low whine that sounded from the shape shifter.

“He's embarrassed about the request he wants to make, he's afraid you'll say no,” Edward told him softly, his eyes trained on the wolf.

“Jacob, how long has it been since you've slept, or eaten anything for that matter?” Carlisle asked as he watched the drooping brown eyes blink slowly.

“He can't clearly remember,” Edward answered and frowned. “The wolves need to consume nearly four times as much food as they did before they first phased just to keep their energy up.” Carlisle watched Edward's eyes widen as he looked at Jacob in a mix of amazement and wonder. “Are you sure, Jacob?”

Carlisle watched as the wolf nodded, dragging his front right paw through the ground by Carlisle's feet and making a deep trench in the mud as he dragged himself back to his feet and stood tall. It was not without difficulty for him to do so, but with the pride of an alpha wolf, he would not lay weak at the feet of the man to whom he would make his request. Breathing in deeply, his lungs expanding to stretch out his sides and puff out his chest, Jacob raised his head and looked at Carlisle through slightly blurred vision. Looking at Edward and nodding once, bowing his head low, Jacob turned back to Carlisle and stood before the patriarch of the Cullen clan holding his head high.

“First, Jacob has a question that needs to be answered,” Edward said, looking at the wolf as he spoke to his father. “How long does our venom linger in the tissues of the animals we kill and would it make their meat inedible?”

Carlisle kept his gaze on Jacob as he spoke, his voice compassionate and strong. “In animals, our venom acts as a paralytic agent and once the animal is dead, it no longer has any effect on their tissues. The meat is still edible.”

Jacob nodded his head once in understanding. His left front leg gave out for a short instant beneath him before he caught his balance and shook his head to clear away the fog clouding his mind. Two birds with one stone; he reminded himself and widened his stance to remain upright. He realized that the stance looked close to preparation for a pounce and did the only thing he could think of to show Carlisle he wasn't intending to be a threat. Bowing his head and dropping his tail, he leaned forward and gently pressed the top of his head into Carlisle's stomach.

“I didn't think you to be a threat,” Carlisle said, answering the thoughts Edward had read from the wolf. “Speak your request, Jacob,” he demanded gently as the wolf leaned back and raised his head once more.

“He knows that we need to feed, with Bella injured and grieving as she is, he also knows that we don't want to leave her,” Edward said slowly, his voice soft. “He wants to be certain that you, that we all, understand that he will not take offense if you turn down his request…” Edward looked at Carlisle, knowing his father's benevolence and hearing his thoughts, already able to sense what his father's answer would be. “His request is this: if he hunts for us, brings us back deer, will we prepare the meat for he, Leah and Seth to eat once we have consumed the blood.”

“Yes,” Carlisle said without hesitation. “Of course, Jacob,” he answered with reverence. “It is the least we can do for all that you have done for us.”

“He has something else he'd like to ask of you, of all of us really, he wants us to let him know when we intend to hunt, if we go when they're not in need of food. He's worried about Sam's attitude toward Bella's injuries and our devotion to her care. He doesn't think that Sam will be a problem, but he doesn't want to take any chances either.”

“You have my word,” Carlisle answered.

His muscles shook unsteadily, his fur trembling, as he stretched out his right paw and curled his left underneath, bowing to Carlisle in a show of appreciation and respect. Releasing a deep woof toward the woods, he waited for Seth to come to his side, ordering the younger male to stand sentry in his absence while he left to hunt. Trotting toward the woods, Jacob stopped and turned his head back to look at Carlisle, nodding once in gratitude before disappearing into the thickness of the forest.

Edward and Carlisle watched as Seth trotted a few steps away before phasing back to his human form. He was dressed only in a pair of cut off denim shorts, his supernatural body heat keeping him warm despite the low temperatures and damp air.

“Thank you, Doctor Cullen,” Seth said and shook his hand. “It takes a lot of energy to phase back and forth and Emily jokes that we eat almost constantly throughout the day. As far as I can tell through the wolf telepathy, I don't think Jake's eaten anything in nearly four days and hasn't slept for longer than that.”

Carlisle frowned at this bit of knowledge. “If you were to compare his period of fasting to a human's?” he let the question hang unfinished in the air as he looked at the younger tribesman.

Seth pursed his lips as he thought about it and then shrugged. “I can't say for sure, but I think it would be pretty close to a normal person going a week, maybe ten days without eating. The sleep thing is different. We can go up to three days before really feeling it, but without food we feel it a hell of a lot faster.”

Carlisle nodded and frowned curiously when Edward smirked in amusement and disappeared inside the house only to return a moment later with his medical bag in hand. Seth snorted and shook his head.

“That's a handy little trick,” the young teen said and smiled.

“Edward?” Carlisle asked as he accepted the proffered bag.

“He's pretty much responding to me,” Seth said sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders. “I've got this weird kind of curiosity that tends to get me in trouble.”

“Oh?” Carlisle asked with a raised brow and grinned.

“I took biology last semester in school and we looked at blood samples and stuff under microscopes and discussed the different traits of human blood. I was kinda wanting you to do the same thing. I was wondering how my blood differs from a normal human's now. Is that too morbid?” he asked with a thoughtful frown.

“Not at all,” Carlisle laughed and withdrew the necessary items to take a sample of Seth's blood.

“Well, this next part might seem a little weird though,” he said, offering his arm out to Carlisle and watching as he wrapped the tourniquet around his bicep. “I was wondering if my blood would be different when I'm in my human form, versus when I'm in wolf form.”

“You're willing to give a sample of blood while you're a wolf?” Carlisle asked and chuckled at the look on Seth's face.

“Like I said, I'm curious.”

Seth waited for Carlisle to finish extracting the vial of blood from his arm and remove the tourniquet before stepping back. Grinning in a cheesy manner that reminded the good doctor of Emmett when his son was feeling playful, Seth jumped up and down a few times before announcing `one wolf boy coming up' and phased. Chuckling as he stepped forward, Carlisle watched as Seth sat on his haunches and parted his massive jaws, letting his tongue hang out over the side in a happy grin as the vampire doctor extracted another vial of blood from his canine arm.

Looking to Edward and telling him that he would be doing another perimeter sweep, Seth bounced on his front legs before trotting off on a circuit around the house through the surrounding woods. Choosing to keep watch outside while his father took the blood samples inside the house, Edward looked at the shadows across the ground. It hadn't seemed so long, but almost an hour had passed since the time that Carlisle had agreed to Jacob's request and now. Looking back over his shoulder as Esme stepped outside, he watched as she stepped up next to his side.

“Bella's taking a bath, Rosalie's with her,” she told Edward as she looked out over the forest. “Carlisle told me about Jacob's request. I'm glad he feels comfortable enough with us to ask. Was he upset about the thought of us feeding on the animal's blood?”

“No,” Edward said with an amused snort. “He was actually more upset at the thought of you having to handle the carcass of the animal. He kept thinking that he would make you both uncomfortable with having to butcher the deer in order for him and the others to eat it.”

Esme chuckled lightly and looked back to the woods when she heard a rustling through the trees. Jacob came stumbling out of the thicket with an eight point buck hanging from his jaws, Leah following close behind with a six point buck. Both deer had their necks broken and Edward eased Jacob's worry that he and his family would need the animals alive in order to feed on their blood. Esme's eyes widened at the sight of Jacob, his muscles trembling, his eyes barely able to stay open as he struggled to remain upright after dropping the buck at Edward's feet.

“Jacob Black, you get in this house right now!” Esme demanded, her voice holding the commanding tone of a mother that dared not be argued with.

Tipping his head to the side and frowning tiredly at Edward, he watched as the telepathic vampire shook his head.

“I find it's best to just do as she says,” Edward answered with a chuckle. “She won't hurt him,” he promised Leah as the female wolf raked the ground in front of her restlessly with her claws.

He watched as Jacob stepped up onto the patio before stopping in front of the back door. There was no way he would be able to fit his massive wolf form through the small door and they all knew it. Whimpering tiredly as he closed his eyes and began to pant harshly with the effort he was expending, Jacob reverted to his human form and very nearly collapsed at Esme's feet. Without a second thought, she tucked herself under his arm and wrapped her arm around his back as she led him inside the house, letting him lean against her side.

She led him into the living room and helped him to the couch, lowering him slowly to sit on the long piece of furniture. Telling him to sit there and promising to return shortly, she disappeared into the hallway and retrieved the extra pillows and blankets that she kept mainly for show. She was at his side in a moment and placed two fluffy pillows at one end of the couch as she demanded that he lay down before covering him with the quilt.

“I'll let you know when the food is ready,” she promised, not surprised in the least that the boy was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillows.

:::::

Jasper and Edward saw to the skinning and butchering of both deer once the family had fed. Leah was not unkind toward them as she watched them feed before preparing the meat for them to eat, but she didn't seem to be comfortable with taking food from them either. Edward wasn't surprised in the least to hear the reluctance of her thoughts and know that there was a good possibility that she wouldn't accept the prepared meat from them. Knowing his sister as he did, Seth shook his head at her, having reverted back to his human form to help prepare the meat. She had chosen to remain a wolf and he couldn't help but feel that she was being unreasonable in the face of the kindness the Cullens had shown them. Taking the large knife he'd been using, Seth cut off a large chunk off the deer's flank before calling Leah's name and throwing the meat at her.

The move was completely instinctual and before she could stop herself, Leah's jaws opened and snapped closed, catching the large chunk of raw meat in the air. Her animal instincts commanded her to chomp the meat and swallow winning out over her pride that told her not accept the food. Once she had swallowed down the meat, she faced her brother and snarled her displeasure only to be silenced when he tossed more meat at her. Catching the meat in her jaws time and again, she finally reverted to her human form before he could toss any more venison at her and looked ready to kill.

“Seth Clearwater,” she growled at her little brother. “What in the hell did you think you were doing?”

“Feeding the dog,” he replied to which Edward and Jasper couldn't help but laugh as they walked inside with bowls of butchered meat. “Forget your damn pride for once, Leah,” he chastised his older sibling. “They've been nothing but nice to us and you're acting like they're carriers of the plague. Stop being such a bitch for once.”

He lifted the large bowl of butchered meat into his hands before turning and disappearing inside the Cullen kitchen. He had plans to bring Esme flowers to thank her for all that she was doing for them, uncaring of whether his sister liked it or not. She could either swallow her pride and return the kindness and decency that the Cullens had always shown them, or he would continue tossing meat at her when she was in wolf form and feed her like a dog.