Urusei Yatsura Fan Fiction ❯ The Senior Year ❯ Incredible Shrunken Lum ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Urusei Yatsura - The Senior Year: "Incredible Shrunken Lum"
by Mike Smith
Read Road, R.R. #5, Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario L0S 1J0 Canada
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Edited by E.B. Kushnir
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Third in a series of fan-fiction stories based on "Urusei Yatsura,"
created by Rumiko Takahashi
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WRITER'S NOTES: Not much for this time.

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Twelve years ago...

A lovely red-haired girl named Elle visited the planet Earth.
In a small park in the Japanese town of Tomobiki, she met a homely and
not very bright little boy named Ataru Moroboshi. They became friends
and played shadow tag until dusk. Ataru then allegedly stepped on
Elle's shadow. So, according to the rules of her people, he became
Elle's fiance. Elle promised to return again eleven years later after
they both grew up.

While growing up, Elle became queen of her home world. She
also became the holder the Refrigerator of Love, the largest cryogenic
suspension unit in the known Galaxy. Inside the Refrigerator there
stand nearly one hundred thousand boys of various ages and races,
known as Elle's Cute Boys. But one still eluded her...Ataru
Moroboshi.

A year ago, Elle attempted to bring Ataru to her world to
marry, then freeze him with the other Cute Boys. Unfortunately, by
this time, Lum had arrived on Earth also intent on marrying the
unluckiest man alive. A war between the two peoples nearly occurred
until Elle discovered that all those years ago Ataru did *not* tag her
shadow, but pretended he did. Elle allowed Ataru and Lum to go
without any further incident in the confusion.

Unfortunately for Lum and Ataru, Elle's love for her "fiance"
did not wane. It grew. And today, she begins a plan which will try
to bring Ataru to the altar, into Elle's Refrigerator...and away from
Lum...

* * *

On the rose-filled planet of Elle, Elle sits impatiently on
her rose-encrusted throne. The throne room is huge, painted in
beautiful shades of pinks and whites, the colours of the Royal House
of Adam, Elle's ancestor, the first Rose Emperor. Rose-influenced
artworks hang on the walls and on pedestals all over the throne room
as well as potted roses of all shapes and colours. Even the throne
itself is rose-shaped.

Elle herself is a beautiful statuesque young woman. Her short
red hair is held in place by a white tiara with a white rose on it.
She wears a red one-piece leotard with a see-through white cape and
white boots. "Where is she?" Elle angrilly snaps. "Does it take that
old woman this long to deliver my message to him?"

As if on cue, the tall pink door to the throne room opens and
a short old woman wearing a blue dress and leaning on a tall cane
enters. Panting heavily as she totters to throne, the old woman stops
in front of throne and bows to Elle. This is Babara, the nurse and
foster parent of Elle. "Elle-sama," the old woman pants. "The bounty
hunter has arrived and awaits outside the door. He demands an
audience with you!"

A smile comes to Elle's face. "Excellent," she beams.
"Before you send him in, this is a secret meeting. Everyone is to
leave...including you, Babara."

Babara looks surprised by her queen's demand to be left alone.
"But, Elle-sama," the old nurse says, "...I must remind you the hunter
doesn't like you. Especially since you put a death sentence on him
after what happened to Cosmosha."

"Don't remind me about that!" Elle sighs. "I must keep this
secret. You never know where the Devil's Daughter may have spies
around. He's also one of the best hunters in the business. Seven
Bake Rose is nothing compared to him. Now go!"

"I go," Babara pants as she turns to leave, "...but be on
guard!"

Babara leads an exodus of guards and servants out of the
throne room. They are no sooner out of the room, when the main doors
open again and a tall, thin, brown-haired man enters. He is dressed
in a blue and silver trimmed cloth-like battle armour complete with a
white knotted kill-belt. His handsome face is highlighted by a
recently-grown brown beard and moustache. His eyes are a piecing
shade of blue. Elle looks at him, not knowing if she should be
impressed or afraid. "Welcome back to my planet, Nassur."

This is Nassur, one of the most successful bounty hunters in
the known galaxy. But he also is the personal tutor and confident of
Lum the Notorious. Nassur has a look of total dislike on his face,
directed at the Rose Queen. Elle walks up to him admiring his
handsome features. "As handsome as ever," she touches his face. "The
beard is a nice touch."

Nassur forcefully snatches her hand and yanks it away. The
pair enter a short staring contest. During this contest of wills, we
notice Elle and Nassur do *not* like the other. "And you're still the
vain flirt, Elle," Nassur growls. "What do you want? Another of your
'Cute Boys' escape again?"

Elle forcefully pulls her hand away. "No, I learned my lesson
after what you did with Cosmosha. This is different. I want you to
retrieve two people for me this time."

What for?" Nassur asks.

"One is to be brought for trial," Elle continues. "The other
is to marry me!"

Nassur begins to laugh when he hears Elle say the words "to
marry me." His laughter echoes all over the huge throne room,
instantly irritating Elle. "Don't tell me the frozen-hearted Elle is
really getting married?" he laughs. "Who would be stupid enough to
marry the likes of you?"

"Stop laughing at me!" Elle growls at the hunter before
turning her back to him in disgust. "As you must know, my Honey is
Ataru Moroboshi of the planet Earth. The villain is Lum of Uru, the
Devil's Daughter."

Nassur immediately stops laughing upon hearing the names,
surprise crossing his face. "What did you say?" Nassur growls angrily
as he grabs Elle and spins her around to look her in the eye. "You
want me to hunt a friend? No way! No bounty is enough for me to turn
on a friend!" Nassur shoves Elle to the floor and turns to stride
from the room. "Good-bye," he icily intones. "Our business is
finished."

Before Nassur can go two metres, Elle is there holding his
leg. "Wait!" she begs. "I'll also pardon your death sentence for
letting Cosmosha go! I'll pay five times your usual fee. Twenty
times!"

"No sale!" Nassur icily removes his leg from her arms and
walks out of the throne room. He slams the door on the way out!

Elle stands, a look of anger appearing on her face.
"Babara!!!"

Babara appears immediately beside her. "Yes, Elle-sama?"

"Tell Seven Bake Rose to go and bring the Devil's Daughter and
Honey in," Elle growls, barely able to contain her anger. "Bring the
experimental shrink ray and alert the flagship. I'm going, too."

"But, Elle-sama..." Babara looks surprised.

"I want to give that Oni her punishment personally!" Elle
growls.

"And Nassur?" Babara asks.

"If that fool should try to interfere, I'll blast him out of
the sky!" Elle snaps. "Now, go to it!"

"Yes, Elle-sama," Babara sighs.

When the old nurse leaves, Elle begins to boast. "Soon, Lum
will be less than nothing and Honey will be mine as he should be!"
Elle laughs as she slides onto her throne.

Unfortunately for her, the force of her sitting on the throne
causes it to fall over backwards. Elle topples over with an
embarrassing thud!

* * *

Meanwhile on Earth, on board a small tiger-stripped starship
hovering above Tomobiki, Lum sneezes! "I hope I'm not coming down
with something," the young Oni girl wipes her nose with a tissue
before she returns to the task of putting on her school uniform.
"There, all ready."

Lum looks at herself in the mirror. "Things have been
certainly quiet since Nassur-chan left three days ago," she thinks
aloud. "Even Shinobu's been quiet." Then her communications panel
rings. Lum turns to answer it. "I wonder who that can be!"

The viewscreen shows a picture of a very poor quality. She
can barely make out who is calling and what they are saying.
"Nassur?" she asks. "Is that you? I can barely see or hear you."

Nassur's message is not understandable either. All she can
hear are the phrases "...someone is coming to Earth for you and
Ataru..." and "...get off Earth immediately..." before the signal
breaks up completely.

Lum tries to reestablish contact. "Nassur, who's coming?!!"
she transmits. "What's going on?!!"

Static is the only answer. *Whatever it is...*, Lum gulps,
*...I'd better be ready for it and do what Nassur says.*

Lum immediately flies out of her ship. Once outside, she
comes across her cousin, Ten-chan, who is just entering the ship from
his morning flight around the town. "Oh, Lum-chan," he calls to her
after almost getting run over. "What's the matter? That idiot
husband of yours chasing girls again?"

Lum stops and turns to Ten-chan with a stern look on her face.
"Ten-chan!" she growls. "Get in my ship, now!"

"But, why?" the little Oni boy asks.

"I can't explain now!" Lum answers. "I gotta get Darling!"

With the speed of a jet, Lum soars off towards Tomobiki High
School. "What's this all about?" Ten-chan muses. "It's not like
Lum-chan to be so rude."

* * *

While Lum flies to the school, class is almost ready to start.
At her desk, Shinobu Miyaki sits holding her head in her hands and
looking hopelessly lovesick. "Oh, I hope Nassur-kun comes back to
Earth soon," she sighs.

The members of Lum's bodyguards notice Shinobu's lovesick
look. "What's with Shinobu?" Shitto Paama asks.

"She's been like this for the last three days," Urayamu Chibi
says.

"I've never seen anyone so in love," Daremo Kakugari adds.
"But with whom is she in love?"

"Whomever it is," Aisuru Megane sighs, "...it's not that weird
rabbit-boy Inaba."

Meanwhile, Ataru is dozing at his desk until Shutaro Mendou
appears beside him, looking upset. "Moroboshi!" Mendou yells, kicking
the chair out from under him. "Where's Lum-san?"

Ataru crashes with a thud on the floor! "Wha...?" he yelps as
he looks up at his hated rival. "What is it, Mendou?!"

Mendou picks Ataru up by his shirt and drags him to his feet.
"Where is Lum-san?" he swings his katana at the dumbfounded class
president.

"I don't know!" Ataru blocks the katana between his hands.
"She should be here!"

"I hope so," Megane intones, appearing beside Ataru, glasses
fogging over with anger. "Onsen-sensei isn't in a good mood today.
He had a hard night last night marking our assignments."

"Ah," Ataru pooh-poohs. "Onsen-sensei is all bark and no
bite!"

As if on cue, Mark Onsen, the big burly English language
teacher, enters the classroom. Immediately, the students slip into
their seats upon seeing the glow of anger around him. "Take your
places," the teacher growls in a tone that could intimidate anyone as
he slams the door behind him.

The whole class is quiet as Onsen takes his seat behind his
desk to do attendance. Then the door slides open and Lum tries to
sneak into the classroom quietly. But, unfortunately, that trick
never works. "Lum!!!" Onsen yells at the startled Oni, who stands at
attention immediately. "You're late!!! What's your excuse?!!"

Lum turns slowly, keeping her head bowed to Onsen. "I'm
sorry, sir," she sighs. "It won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't!!!" Onsen yells. "Siddown!!!"

"Sensei, may I have a word with Darling a moment?" Lum asks.
"It's important."

The top of Onsen's head turns into an erupting volcano! Onsen
leaps off his desk and lands beside Lum with his bokan stick ready!!
"Lum!" Onsen growls, deformed into a huge fire-spitting monster.
"**FIRST YOU COME IN LATE!!!! THEN YOU WANT TO TALK TO ONE OF MY
STUDENTS ON CLASSTIME?!?! OUT IN THE HALL!!!!!!**"

"Hey!" Ataru yells from his desk. "I don't mind if Lum takes
me outta here!"

Onsen responds to Ataru's remark by throwing a piece of chalk
at him. "Shaddup, Moroboshi!" he growls as the chalk hits Ataru right
between the eyes!

"Bull's eye!" Yamada declares.

"But, Darling's my husband!" Lum pleads.

"I'm *not* your husband!" Ataru snaps.

Onsen turns to Lum again. "No talking back to the teacher!"
he taps the bokan stick in his hands. "Rule number one!"

"Actually," Mendou looks at his school handbook, "...rule
number one is 'no student shall have a motorcycle licence.'"

Lum begins to sparkle with electricity. "I don't want to do
this, but..." she suddenly growls "...I must!" Lum zaps Onsen with a
huge lightning bolt, the force of which causes an explosion noticeable
to everyone, including the gym classes outside!!

When the smoke clears, Onsen is unconscious while the rest of
the classroom is a mess. Lum stands over the fallen English teacher
sadly. Ataru digs himself out of the rubble which once were desks and
chairs to walk up to her. "Lum, what's going on?" he gasps. "Why did
you zap the teacher?"

Megane, the bodyguards, Shinobu and Mendou all climb out of
the rubble next. "You'll be in for it when he wakes up," Megane
mentions.

"There's no time for that, Darling!!!" Lum snaps. "We both
have to get out of here!!!"

"What do you mean?" Ataru looks confused.

"Nassur just called," Lum pulls Ataru by the arm to the door.
"He says someone is after us."

"Who does he think he is?" Ataru grumbles. "Cherry?"

Lum looks sternly at her so-called fiance. "Quit stalling,
Darling!!" she growls, baring her fangs. "Time's a-wasting!!!"

The two teens rush to the door. Mendou and the others look
surprised. "What about us?" the five yell to their object of desire.

"I'm sorry. You'll have to look after yourselves," Lum
answers.

When they reach the door, Shinobu suddenly appears in front of
them. "Hold it!" the destructive teenager demands threateningly.

"Thanks, Shinobu!" Megane says with relief. "We knew you
wouldn't allow Ataru to abandon us."

"Out of the way, Shinobu!" Lum demands.

"On one condition," Shinobu says.

"Which is?" Lum asks.

"That you...you..." she blushes, "You take me with you!"

Everyone faints! "What?" Lum gasps. "What for?"

"You will be going to see Nassur-kun, won't you?" Shinobu eyes
glow.

"Well, maybe," Lum thinks.

A coy smile spreads across Shinobu's cute face. "Then, you
understand ...That it's...I'm in...like, I want to be...You got that?"
she sputters nervously.

"Did you get that?" Paama asks Chibi.

"Not a word," Chibi replies.

Suddenly, a spotlight shines on Shinobu from above giving her
a romantic hue around her. A microphone appears in her hand. Cherry
blossoms fly in the breeze around her. The romantic sound of violins
are heard in the background. "All my life I've tried to find the
perfect guy for me!" she says tearfully into the microphone. "But all
I found were weirdoes or those already taken! Now I found the
ultimate guy! The man among men! The first man I'd willing die for!"

"Who's that?" Lum asks.

"Why it's..." she starts to say.

But before Shinobu can finish, the ceiling of the classroom
blows away! Everyone around Lum and Ataru are sucked up in a white
tractor beam into a white bird-shaped starship hovering overhead.
"The mere mentioning of his name sends me floating into the air...!!!"
Shinobu yells while she and the others are sucked into the ship.

* * *

The ship is piloted by a beautiful young woman in her
mid-twenties. She has long light brown hair and wears a black and
blue leotard which reveals a nice, slim figure. This is Seven Bake
Rose, henchwoman for Elle. She watches on her monitor screens as Lum,
Ataru and several unwanted passengers are brought aboard and
unceremoniously dumped into the cargo bay. "It appears I have a few
unwanted guests," the huntress muses. "There's no time to dump them.
That fool Nassur is coming!"

Seven Bake Rose spots the shape of the "Renegade" racing
towards her ship at high speed. She immediately pilots her ship into
space. By time the "Renegade" arrives, Seven Bake Rose is long gone.

As the "Renegade" lands, the remaining students are busy
digging themselves out of the rubble which was once classroom 337.
Nassur exits his ship, rushes up to the classroom.
"***LUM-CHAN!!!!!!***" the hunter yells, only to find no familiar
faces. "Where's Lum and Ataru Moroboshi?" he asks Ryuunosuke
Fujinami.

"Some spaceship came and sucked them away with some of their
friends," the tomboy answers.

"It's all Moroboshi's fault!" complains another student.
"That jinx attracts trouble like shit attracts flies!"

"I'm too late?" Nassur realizes. He may have seen Lum and
Ataru for the last time in this life.

Before he can grieve, Ten-chan enters the classroom through
one of the broken windows on his duck-shaped hover-scooter.
"Lum-chan! Lum-chan!" he calls. Then, he notices Nassur there. "What
are you doing here, Nassur-chan?" Then the young Oni boy notices the
wreckage which was once a classroom. "What's happened to the class?"
he gasps. "Did Rei come through here again?"

"Ten-chan," Nassur says to the Oni boy, "...Lum, Ataru and
some of their classmates have been abducted by Elle again."

"Oh, no," Ten-chan gasps. "I thought Elle gave up on that
fool a year ago!"

"Elle has never been good at letting go!" Nassur says. "But,
it's up to me to rescue them."

"Can I come with you?" Ten-chan asks.

"Sorry," Nassur shakes his head. "This is a job for
professionals only!"

Nassur leaps out of the window and lands beside his ship. He
enters his ship and launches into space. Ten-chan sighs as he watches
what the hunter does. "Who does he think he is?" he muses. "Golgo
Thirteen?"

Meanwhile, Onsen digs himself out of the rubble and groggily
staggers to his feet. He looks horrorstruck by the damage to his
homeroom. "Whatever happened to respect for one's elders?!!" he yells
aloud.

Mie Seikou enters, looking innocently at the rubble in her
classroom. "Oh, Onsen-sensei," she respectfully hums. "My, our
homeroom is a mess. You must tell the janitor to take his
responsibilities more seriously."

Onsen's only response is to collapse face first into a pile of
dust!

* * *

On Seven Bake Rose's starship somewhere near Pluto, Megane and
the bodyguards are trying to break out of the cargo bay by clawing at
the walls with their hands. Mendou, Lum and Ataru sit in the middle
of the room watching the others tear at the walls. Shinobu is
praying. "Once again we're trapped like rats with that
good-for-nothing Ataru!" Megane groans.

"Relax, Megane," Shinobu says. "Nassur-kun will save us! I'm
sure of it!"

The bespeckled teen glares at the lovesick girl with anger.
"Does Nassur-san even know where we are?" Megane cries. "Or who is
taking us? Whomever these aliens are, I'm sure they'll do something
horrible, hideous to us! We'll be guinea pigs for their vile
experiments!"

"No, we won't," Shinobu responds with a voice that is
uncharacteristically calm. "Nassur-kun will save us. He can do
anything."

"Is something wrong with Shinobu's brain?" Ataru looks at Lum.
"She seems to be dangerously dense!"

"She is unusually optimistic," Lum replies.

Meanwhile, Megane is pacing back and forth across the room
holding his head and yelling "We're going to be guinea pigs!" over and
over again. "I'd better do something," Mendou says standing up and
grabbing Megane by the shirt collar, "Megane," he says staring his
classmate in the eye. "Listen. According to Nassur, whomever has
taken us wants just Lum-san and Moroboshi. They're obviously
intelligent, so why don't we try to talk to them? If we can, we'll
make a deal with them."

"What do you mean?" Megane asks, getting his wits back.

"We'll convince them to let us go with Lum-san and let them
keep Moroboshi!" Mendou answers.

"**WHAT?!?!**" Ataru snaps as he leaps to his feet in anger.
"Why, you..." Ataru yells as he jumps Mendou.

Everyone else except Lum and Shinobu join into the fight. *I
think I should be the one to talk to our captors*, she sighs, *...for
Darling's sake.*

Meanwhile, as Seven Bake Rose's ship passes Pluto, a huge
rose-shaped starship slips out from behind the planet. On the bridge,
Seven Bake Rose smiles with relief. "There's the 'Rose Empress,'" she
says, "Nassur would be the biggest fool in the universe if he thinks
he can fight this ship one-on-one."

* * *

On the bridge of the "Rose Empress," Elle sits in the command
chair flanked by Babara and a young woman wearing a captain's uniform.
A scannery officer picks up two blips coming towards the battleship.
"My leige," the young officer reports, "...two frigates are coming
this way. One is Seven Bake Rose's ship, the other is Nassur's
'Renegade.'"

"So, the gallant knight comes to the rescue," Elle smiles.
"Well, Nassur, it's time your death sentence is carried out. All
guns, aim at the 'Renegade!'"

* * *

In minutes, gunnery crews man the various gun placements on
the ship. Seven Bake Rose moves her ship into its final approach to
the "Rose Empress'" landing bay. On the bridge of the "Renegade,"
Nassur notices what is going on and ignores it. *Elle, I won't let
you take away what few friends I've got left among the living!*

* * *

On the "Rose Empress," Elle awaits for the right conditions to
deal out death to Nassur. "All guns are locked on target!" the
gunnery officer reports.

"Fire!" Elle barks.

* * *

An hour or so later, a starship with Fukunokami markings
enters Earth's solar system. Its lone pilot is a pretty dark-haired
girl with quasi-Oriental features. She is dressed in a black and red
battle bikini and boots with a silver chain hanging down from one
shoulder, across her chest and down to her hips. Her long black hair
is tied in a bun by a smaller chain. This is Benten Shigaten of
Fukunokami, one of Lum's best friends. "It'll be nice to see Lum and
Moroboshi again," she sighs. "I wonder if she's fried him yet?"

Suddenly, Benten's sensors begin to pick up debris from a
starship accompanied by the sound of an emergency beacon. "Whoops!!"
the teenaged Fukunokami girls regains control of herself. "Emergency
beacon and debris! Somebody decided to have a fight. I wonder who it
was."

Benten decodes the message from the beacon and recognizes the
number and the name of the ship involved. "Not him!" she gasps as she
immediately changes course. "I hope he's okay!"

Benten's ship enters the cloud of debris which once was the
"Renegade." "What did he run into?" Benten frets, thinking the worst.
"I hope he got an escape pod off."

A beep of her sensors causes Benten relief. "He made it!"

* * *

Minutes later, Nassur is safely aboard Benten's ship. Save
for some damage to his uniform, Nassur is unharmed. "Nassur!" Benten
smiles. "What happened to you?"

"Elle happened," Nassur answers. "Thanks for the save."

Benten blushes uncharacteristically. "Y-you're welcome," she
answers, then looks confused. "But, why Elle?"

"She's decided to make a grab for Ataru and Lum again," he
answers, not noticing her blush.

"Again?" Benten sighs. "I thought Elle didn't want that fool
anymore!"

"You know Elle hasn't been good at letting go. I need some
help. How good is this ship of yours?"

"It has balls if that's what you mean."

Nassur sits at the helm. "We're going to need more than balls
to beat Elle and rescue the others. Interested in helping?"

"With you in charge," Benten smiles. "Of course!"

"Good! Let's talk to Lum's dad."

"Are you sure you want to?" Benten asks. "Especially after
the last time we had problems with Elle."

"Lum insisted I'd bring her to Elle to rescue Ataru," Nassur
remembers. "I would've helped her too if the Royal Ellsian Defense
Force didn't decide to attack me first."

"You were a good diversion for Lum," Benten comments.

"You should talk," Nassur adds. "You nearly got everyone lost
in time when you hit the warp drive controls close to a planet."

"Don't remind me!"

* * *

On the "Rose Empress," Ataru, Lum and the others remain in the
cargo hold. All the boys have calmed down for the moment. Shinobu
waits patiently for a rescue. Lum has removed most of her school
uniform save for her running shoes and her socks, revealing her
tiger-striped bikini. "I've had enough!!!" Ataru suddenly yells. "I
want to go home, **NOW!!!!** I'm gonna find whomever's running this
place and tell them that!!!"

"Is that wise, Darling?" Lum looks surprised.

"I've been abducted by aliens several times since you came
here, Lum," Ataru replies. "Maybe this time, I'll even go to bed with
one if she's a babe!"

Everyone faints! "That's a horrible thing to say!" Lum zaps
Ataru!

Unfortunately, the force of the bolt sends Ataru through one
of the bulkheads! Ataru finds himself in the middle of a corridor.
"I'm free...?"

"Darling!!!" Lum yells. "Get back in here before you get into
trouble!!"

"No way!!!" Ataru runs off. "Oh, Miss Alien!!!" he lustfully
declares. "I'm coming to find you!!!"

Ataru runs down the corridor giggling with his moronic,
lust-crazed laughter. Lum flies through the hole in the bulkhead in
pursuit. "Wait, Darling!"

* * *

Unfortunately, Elle watches this from the privacy of her cabin
with the help of security cameras. "It's time!" the Rose Queen
declares.

* * *

Lum catches up with Ataru down the corridor before he could
escape. "Don't go running off like that, Darling!!" she growls. "It
could be dangerous! This could be a Lannarkite ship for all we
know!!"

"Who are the Lannarkites?" Ataru looks confused.

"A race you don't want to know," Lum sighs. "Believe me!"

"I still want to find the babe in charge of this place!" the
Terran tries to run off again.

"Hold it!" Lum tries to hold him back...only to find that she
is holding onto a log wearing Ataru's uniform jacket!

Lum rushes down the corridor trying to catch sight of Ataru.
"Where did he go?!" she sighs. "What a time for Darling's illness to
act up again!"

Lum comes to a T-junction. "Which way did he go?" She looks
both ways. "I wish I was Vosian, so I could track Darling down
easier!"

Minutes later, Lum is still deciding on which direction to
search for Ataru. "This is harder than I thought," she muses. "I
wish there was a signpost or a cop somewhere to ask directions."

"Lum!!!" Ataru yells from nearby. "Help!!!"

"Darling!!" Lum turns to the corridor on her right. "I'm
coming!!!"

Lum flies down to corridor until she arrives at a door.
"Darling!!" she yells, concerned. "Are you in there?!!"

"Yeah!!" Ataru moans. "They're trying to do experiments on
me!! Help!!!"

"I'm coming!" Lum opens the door and flies into the dark room
beyond.

Once inside, the Oni cannot see a thing. "Darling?!!" she
calls out. "Where are you?!!"

The only answer is the door closing behind her and the lights
coming on. "*Datcha*!" Lum realizes her predicament. "It's a trap!"

Lum looks at the room. It is decorated rather grandly with
rose-influenced furniture and artwork. She sees a desk nearby and a
chair in front of it with its back to the Oni girl. Lum notices the
chair is occupied. "What's the meaning of this?!" Lum growls.
"Where's Darling?! Why have you kidnapped us?!!"

"Such questions!" the person replies. "Is that any way to
greet an old friend?"

The chair turns around and Lum sees the person sitting there
is Elle. "That voice..." Lum says, then gasps "You!!!"

"That's right," Elle smiles. "It's me. It's been a long
time."

"I thought you were finished with us!" the Oni looks nervous.

"I thought I was as well," the Ellsian gives Lum a cold stare.
"But, I found my love for Honey is real. So, I decided to take what
is **rightfully** mine!"

"Over my dead body!" Lum instantly looks defiant.

"That can be arranged!" Elle suddenly pulls out an
oddly-shaped gun out from under her robes.

Lum is taken by surprise when Elle pulls the trigger. A green
beam of light emits from the muzzel, striking Lum in the chest! The
burst is short but Lum's body glows green for seconds after. "What is
this?" the Oni looks confused.

"Just watch!" Elle stands up.

Lum then notices that Elle is getting taller by the
second...not to mention everything else! "I'm shrinking...?" she
looks down at herself.

Elle laughs maniacally as Lum continues to shrink smaller and
smaller. By the time Lum stops shrinking, she is about the size of a
child's action figure. "What have you done to me?" Lum's tiny voice
squeaks at Elle. The Rose Queen looks like a giant to her now.

Elle grab Lum and holding her tightly. Lum automatically zaps
the Rose Queen's hand! It has about as much effect as a mosquito
bite. "Your powers are useless now!" Elle laughs. "I could, if I
wanted to, crush you to death with my hand. But that would be too
easy for you! I want you to suffer as I have suffered watching you
with Honey...holding him...kissing him...and most of all, *abusing*
him! Now, it's your turn to watch as I marry Honey and put him into
the Refrigerator of Love!"

Elle turns to her desk. There sits a small hamster cage.
"Now, into your cage!" she opens the door with one hand, then throws
Lum in.

"No...!!" Lum tries to escape, only to be stopped when Elle
slams the gate shut! Lum tries to use her own strength to lift the
gate, but at her diminished size, all the Oni girl does is tire
herself out. "You won't get away with this, Elle! Nassur will save
us!"

"Nassur can't even save himself!" Elle laughs. "I had his
ship destroyed after you were brought aboard."

The Oni looks shocked. "What do you mean?"

"Let me show you!" the Rose Queen snaps her fingers.

A door on the opposite wall opens. Seven Bake Rose enters the
cabin carrying the dedication plaque from the "Renegade!" Lum looks
horrified as Elle's henchwoman sets it down in front of her. "Is this
proof enough?" Elle states.

The dedication plaque looks slightly burned from fire. "No,
it can't be!" Lum tearfully shakes her head. "Nassur-chan can't be
dead!"

"He is!" Elle smirks. "And this will make the perfect
trophy!"

"Why did you have to kill him?" Lum growls. "He didn't do
anything to you!"

"Wrong!" Elle screams. "Years ago, Nassur allowed one of my
Cute Boys to escape..."

Elle tells the shrunken Lum the history behind her and Nassur
becoming bitter enemies. It started three years ago. A malfunction
in Elle's Refrigerator of Love allowed several of the Cute Boys to
escape. Most were recaptured save for one...Cosmosha of the planet
Zeiwan. Of all the Cute Boys, Cosmosha was probably the most
reluctant, because he was already married and had a family when Elle
captured him. Nassur, not knowing Elle's reputation at the time, was
sent after him. He cornered Cosmosha on the planet Gomiana, located
near the Earth-Triton sysrtem, trying to buy passage on a shuttle to
Zeiwan so he could be reunited with his wife and family. Nassur
stopped him, but upon realizing Cosmosha's reasons, allowed him to
leave. In fact, Nassur assisted Cosmosha right in front of Elle's own
eyes! "I wanted to forgive a handsome man like Nassur..." Elle tells
Lum after finishing her story, "...but his stupid honour made him
refuse me! Now, he's burning in Hell!"

"Vosians don't have a concept for Hell," Lum sighs.

"Enough!" Elle growls, grabbing Lum's cage, then hands it to
Seven Bake Rose. "It's time to show you to Honey!!"

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the holding cell, Ataru returns, a
disappointed look on his face. "Shit!" he groans. "I didn't see even
one girl anywhere!!"

Once entering everyone turns angrily to Ataru. "So, finished
with your joyride?!!" Mendou snarls, swinging his katana at his hated
rival.

"What's the matter?!" Ataru stops the katana between his
hands. "Jealous that I would find a real babe?!"

"Did you find any girls?" Megane asks.

"Nope, I struck out," Ataru shakes his head...then notices Lum
is missing. "Where's Lum?"

"Isn't she with you?" Kakugari looks concerned.

"If she was," Ataru growls, "...do you think I'd still be
standing upright?!"

"Looking for Lum?" a woman's voice calls out.

Everyone spins about to see Elle and Seven Bake Rose standing
by the hole Ataru made when Lum blasted him out of the cargo hold.
Everyone except for Ataru is horrified by their sudden appearance.
"***ELLE?!?!?!***"

"I'm flattered you remember me!" the Rose Queen smiles.

"Who could forget a cold-hearted girl like you?!!" Shinobu
growls. "You nearly froze everyone here!!"

"So I did," Elle giggles before turning to Mendou. "As
handsome as ever...Mendou, wasn't it?"

Ataru taps Elle on the shoulder. "You didn't have to go
through all this trouble to get me, Elle-chan!" Ataru smiles tapping
his hands on the front of her battlesuit. "All you had to do was
call."

"You say the sweetest things," Elle giggles...before she slaps
his face for touching her breasts!

"Don't remember who she is?" Chibi looks at Ataru.

"Nope!" Ataru shakes his head.

"Talk about a short memory!" Chibi sighs.

"You said you know where Lum is?" Paama growls. "Where is
she?"

"Right here," Seven Bake Rose shows everyone the now-shrunken
object of their affections inside a hamster cage.

All the guys faint including Ataru! "Darling!" Lum cries out
with all her might. "Elle shrank me to this size and she killed
Nassur-chan too!"

"N-nassur-kun's dead?" Shinobu looks horrified.

With an incensed howl, she jumps Elle! "Get her off me!" the
Rose Queen gasps as she quickly finds herself no match against
Shinobu's strength.

All the guys barely manage to subdue Shinobu. "Down, girl,
down!" Megane snaps. "We can't restore Lum-san to normal if you kill
her!"

All five boys then get clobbered by a bench! "I don't
**care** about that stupid Oni!!!" Ataru's ex-girlfriend growls.

"How did you manage to shrink Lum?" Ataru looks over.

"With this," Elle pulls out the shrink ray gun.

"Change her back!!!" the other men demand at once.

"I will on one condition," Elle smiles. "Honey is to marry
me!"

Ataru faints! "Marry you?! No way! I remember what you
tried to do before!"

"How come you didn't remember before?" Mendou looks shocked.

"A man's memory works when it's needed!" Ataru says.

A sly look appears on Elle's face. She points the shrink ray
gun at Lum. "Don't be so hasty! If you don't marry me, Lum shrinks
to atomic size!!"

"Darling, don't!" the Oni looks defiant. "She killed
Nassur-chan and she'll kill me, too...and throw you into her freezer!"

Ataru looks at Lum, then at Elle. "All right, you win," the
class president sighs. "I'll marry you!"

Elle cheers with joy. Lum falls to her knees and cries.
"Finally!!!" the Rose Queen beams. "We'll get married as soon as we
can get a priest aboard this ship!!" She put her arm around Ataru in
a hug. "Space weddings are so romantic!" she kisses the Terran, then
discards him like trash!

Everyone else sighs. "Seven Bake Rose will watch over Lum
until after the ceremony," Elle hands the cage to her henchwoman.
"Well, I must go! I have a lot to plan!"

Elle skips out of the prison happily while Seven Bake Rose
follows her, carrying Lum's cage. The remaining prisoners remain
silent, shocked by what happened. "Poor Lum-san!" Megane gasps.
"Shrunk down and caged like an animal!! It's terrible!!!"

* * *

Seven Bake Rose takes Lum to her cabin. Unlike Elle's, Rose's
cabin is small and messy. The floor is covered with food wrappers,
magazines, beer bottles and other garbage. Most of the rest of the
room is in the same condition. "Don't be sad, Lum," the henchwoman
sneers as she places the Oni's cage on top of a nearby desk. "Maybe
after the wedding, Elle'll give you over to me. I've always wanted a
pet."

Rose laughs as she leaps on her bed. A cloud of dust flies
into the air. "You animal!" Lum growls. "I'm a sentient being! You
can't keep me locked up like a pet! Don't you have any morals?!"

"Morals are for wimps," the Ellsian snorts. "I'm a hunter. I
do whatever my employers want me to do. That makes everyone happy
except my target, but I don't care about them!"

"Nassur always cared about whom he hunted and why!" Lum
shouts.

"Nassur was a no-talent bum," contempt appears in Rose's
voice. "I'm more effective than he ever was, but he got all the
press!"

"Probably Nassur understood about things like honour,
integrity and friendship. You don't!"

Rose looks insulted. "If you weren't so valuable to Elle
right now," she growls, "...I'd have killed you for that comment!
You'll pay for it later after the wedding! I'll make sure your join
your idol in Hell!"

She stands and storms out of her cabin. Lum watches her go,
then slumps to her knees in sadness. "I'm in trouble now..."

* * *

Meanwhile in the brig, the shock of what has happened to Lum
is settling in. Mendou, Megane and the guards are in one corner of
the room discussing their next move. Shinobu is in another making a
black armband in memory of Nassur, obviously plotting her revenge on
Elle. Ataru is sitting alone in yet another corner, eating. "We
should find a way to break out of here, get that shrink ray and
restore Lum-san to normal," Megane growls.

"But, how?" Chibi sighs. "All Elle has to do is use that
thing on us...and we'll be sharing Lum-chan's cage!"

"I don't know!" Megane snaps.

The other boys faint! "All I want is revenge on Elle for
Nassur-kun's death!" Shinobu coldly snarls.

"Don't worry, Shinobu-san," Mendou sighs. "We'll make sure
Elle pays for all she's done to Lum-san. But, first, we have to find
a way to save this fool from getting frozen for eternity," he nods to
Ataru.

"If he ever stops eating," Paama shakes his head.

"He's probably having one last meal before his execution,"
Kakugari adds.

"He should be eating rocks!" Megane says.

Suddenly, they all hear sobs of sadness coming from Ataru.
"Are you crying, Moroboshi?" Mendou looks surprised.

"***DAMN THAT ELLE!!!!!!***" Ataru suddenly screams, knocking
everyone over to the floor! "She tricked me into proposing to her all
those years ago! She's a trickster! A temptress! An enemy of men!
She has a freezer full of men, so why does she want me?!"

Ataru eats faster. "At least with Lum..." he sobs while
eating, "...I knew where I stood with her. Lum might have zapped me
all the time, but she always tried to look after my best interests.
To Elle, I'm one of one hundred thousand. To Lum, I am the only one
in her life!"

Everyone looks surprised by what Ataru has said. "Ataru..."
Megane reaches over.

"I can't chase girls inside a freezer!" Ataru snaps.

Everyone else faints! In seconds, Ataru is buried by a table,
chairs, a refrigerator, a giant octopus, a tanuki statue and a
Buddhist temple bell. "***IS THAT ALL YOU CAN THINK OF?!?!?!***" they
all scream together.

Ataru does not seem bothered by everyone's anger at him.
"Maybe before I get frozen, I can get Elle to execute these morons so
they'd never bother me again!" he mutters to himself.

Those words cause everyone else to turn white with shock...

* * *

Meanwhile, light-years away, Benten's ship awaits the arrival
of Lum's father. On the bridge, she notices a blip suddenly appearing
on her scanner. "Ah!" she smiles. "He's here!"

Nassur looks at the scanner. "I knew he'd get here fast!"

In the space around them, a huge wedge-shaped tiger-stripped
starship appears alongside Benten's craft. This is the Urusian
Defence Force Ship "Kashin," the flagship of Lum's father, Captain
Invader no Midorinokaminoke-oni. As soon as the battle wagon is close
enough, Captain Invader snarls a message on the communication
channels. "What's this about Elle kidnapping Mr. Groom and Lum
again?!"

"It's true," the Vosian looks calm. "She plans to marry Ataru
and do something horrible to Lum."

"I see," Invader replies. "What's the plan?"

"We've been monitoring the 'Rose Empress'' transmittions,"
Nassur sighs. "She's sent a request to the Galactic Religious Council
for a priest to do a wedding ceremony. If you can, intercept that
ship."

Invader looks surprised by Nassur's suggestion. "But that's
against the Galactic Federation Treaty."

"Maybe," Nassur nods. "But since our ships and Elle's are
close to the Urusian-Ellsian frontier, it would be within your rights
to stop the ship for a thorough search to find any illegal
substances."

A smile appears on Invader's gruff face. "I see what you're
getting at, Nassur-kun," he scratches his chin in contemplation.
"We'll do it. But what about Lum-chan and Mr. Groom?"

"While you're keeping the GRC at bay," Nassur smiles,
"...Benten and I will be taking priestly vows."

"Priestly vows?" the Fukunokami looks surprised.

"That's right!" Nassur turns to his drafted assistant.
"Didn't your mother ever want you to be a nun?"

Benten sighs. "I can't see myself wearing a sackcloth and
ashes."

Invader and Nassur chuckle a moment before the "Kashin's"
first officer, a thin, homely Oni man with a patch over one eye, walks
up to Invader. "Sir," he reports. "We're picking up a Galactic
Religious Council ship heading toward the Ellsian frontier."

"Send some interceptors to stop it," Invader orders. "Tell
them we're looking for mayaku dust smugglers or something."

"Aye, sir," the first officer replies.

* * *

"This is preposterous!" the captain of the Galactic Religious
Council ship, a huge man equally as brutish as Invader, demands when
forced to stop and be searched. "We have immunity from persecution as
written in the Galactic Federation Treaty."

"I know the rules," Invader sighs. "But we have rules to
follow as well. This is only a routine search. It shouldn't take too
long."

"How long is 'not too long?'" the captain asks.

"About a day or two," Invader replies.

The other commanding officer nearly has a stroke when he hears
that. "A day?!! But I'm due in three hours for a rendezvous with the
Ellsian patrol monitor 'Rose Empress' to perform a wedding!"

"This is important, too," Invader shrugs. "Elle'll have to
wait. If she's desperate, she can always use the ship's captain to
marry her and the schmuck she's duped."

The captain looks insulted. "Your Defence Command shall hear
about this! And you'll be in trouble."

"You're welcome to send a protest anytime," Invader sighs,
cutting off contact with the GRC ship. *I hope Nassur-kun manages to
pull this off. I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining this to the
Admiral!*

* * *

In another sector of space, the "Rose Empress" awaits the
arrival of the GRC ship, unaware of Invader's interference. On the
bridge, Elle sits on the command chair, very anxious. "Where are
they?" the Rose Queen muses. "They're late. Then again, the Galactic
Religious Council can be late for their own funeral at times."

Suddenly, the sensory officer picks up a incoming contact. "A
Fukunokami ship has come out of warp," she reports after running the
contact through identification.

The communications officer speaks after hearing a signal.
"I'm picking up a signal from that ship," she reports. "They say
they're from the Galactic Religious Council."

"Ask them to send out an identification burst," Elle orders.

* * *

On the bridge of Benten's ship, the Fukunokami huntress
receives Elle's request for an identification burst by which all
Galactic Religious Council ships use to identify themselves. This
burst is known only to the those working within the GRC, one of the
biggest secrets in the organization. "She's asking for an
identification burst."

"I'll give one," Nassur fiddles with the gunnery console.

Nassur fires the ship's guns in a cross pattern...

* * *

On the "Rose Empress," everyone looks at the burst. "It's
them all right," the helm officer announces.

"The priest has arrived," Elle looks pleased. "Direct them to
the main landing bay."

* * *

"It worked," Benten sighs. "They're giving us landing
instructions. I didn't know you knew the secret identification
burst."

"Let's just say," Nassur chuckles, "...I've learned a few
tricks from religious figures."

In minutes, Benten's ship makes a beeline for the main landing
bay on the "Rose Empress," located amidships. As they manouvre
towards their designated landing zone, Nassur and Benten notice that
the patrol monitor's superstructure opens like a blooming flower to
reveal the landing bay inside. The two would-be rescuers notice the
bay is full of bee-shaped space-fighters, a couple of bird-shaped
landing craft and a couple of mobile suits trimmed in pink. The ship
lands, then taxis to a control tower several metres from the opening
of the bay. As the bay doors close, a transparent boarding tube
snakes from the control tower to attach itself to Benten's ship.
"We're here!" she announces with relief.

Nassur passes her a black, formless outfit. "What's this
for?" she looks confused.

"It's our disguise," Nassur puts on a similar outfit. Once
on, the outfit covers everything but Nassur's piercing blue eyes.
"See?"

Benten sighs. "I don't think this is gonna work."

"It will," Nassur corrects his partner-in-crime, "...if you
let me do all the talking!"

* * *

Minutes later, after the boarding tube and landing bay are
pressurized, Babara leads a group of security officers to Benten's
ship. Seven Bake Rose is among them. "Remember," the old nurse
intones, "...these are members of the Galactic Religious Council.
They must be given respect."

The hatch opens. Two figures dressed in black, formless
outfits which cover everything but their eyes are standing there.
"Permission to come aboard?" asks one of them.

"Permission granted," Babara respectfully bows. "Welcome
aboard the Royal Ellsian Naval Ship 'Rose Empress.' I am Babara de
Esterchild. I will look after your every need."

One of the black forms bows to Babara. "Pleased to meet you,"
Nassur intones. "I am Whatshisface from the planet Overonthelefto."

"I am Whatsherface from the planet Overontherighto," Benten
bows.

Babara looks confused. "I've been all over the Galaxy..." she
hums, "...but I've never heard of those two worlds."

"We don't get many visitors," Nassur replies.

"We were expecting Bishop Beshu, who did Elle-sama's last
wedding attempt," the old nurse intones.

"He's...been delayed," Nassur sighs regretfully.

"And sends his regrets," Benten adds.

"No matter," Babara nods in understanding. "Elle-sama won't
mind the change. Follow me to your cabin."

"You are most kind," Nassur nods as the two "priests" follow
the old nurse.

They both pass Seven Bake Rose, who looks at them with
suspicion. Nassur looks innocent. "Hold it!" the Ellsian mercenary
intones. "Don't I know you from somewhere?!"

While Benten looks nervous, Nassur keeps his cool. "I doubt
it. Elle has never came to our worlds."

The two "priests" move on with Babara and the security
officers. Seven Bake Rose stands there, a look of vile understanding
on her face. *It's him*, she growls. *I can tell. He must think
we're totally stupid to think we'd fall for such a trick!*

* * *

Meanwhile, in Rose's cabin, Lum is having a meal fit for a
hamster, courtesy of a small food dispenser attached to the cage.
"I've really done it now," the Oni sobs. "I've been shrunk down, put
into a cage and forced to be a pet to the most immoral woman alive!
Darling can't help me and neither can Nassur-chan because he's...!"

Lum begins to cry. She looks at herself in a small mirror.
"What will happen to me if Darling marries Elle and I stay this way?"

<<Tears, Lum?>> a familiar voice says to her.

Lum sees who looks like Nassur in the mirror. In her mind,
Lum goes back to when she was Nassur's student. <<I thought I taught
you better than that,>> the Vosian smiles. <<What is the first law of
a warrior?>>

"Use a disadvantage as an advantage," Lum responds, then
shakes her head. "But there are no advantages in this!"

<<There are always advantages,>> Nassur holds up a finger in
correction. <<That's rule two. You just have to find it.>>

*Find the advantage*, the Oni hums. *How?*

* * *

Unknown to Lum or anyone else, the "priests" and their
entourage walk past Seven Bake Rose's cabin. As soon as they do,
Nassur's eyes change from blue to green for a moment. <<Benten,>> he
telepathically calls out. <<Psi-link! I think I found Lum!!>>

<<What do you mean?>> the Fukunokami replies.

<<She's in that cabin,>> Nassur point to the door. <<I'm sure
of it. Her pattern's rather small, but she's there!>>

<<I wonder who's cabin that is?>>

<<I'll soon find out,>> Nassur walks up to the door.

Rose appears beside him. "What are you doing near my cabin?"
she growls, suspicion in her voice.

Nassur looks innocent. "So sorry. I thought I heard the
Voice of God talking from this room. I was trying to listen to what
He says."

"What did this Voice say?" Rose still looks sceptical.

"To go about my business," the Vosian sighs.

Benten takes Nassur by the hand and drags him away. "Come,"
she solemnly intones. "Let us go. We shall discuss the philosophical
implications of what God has said later. Bye!"

Seven Bake Rose watches the two frauds leave. *If I needed
proof before*, she growls, *...I have it now. But I need to convince
Elle-sama or Babara of this!*

<<The Voice of God told you to go about your business?!>>
Benten telepathically growls. <<How weird can you get?!!>>

<<It was all I could think of,>> Nassur sighs.

"The wedding begins in an hour," Babara announces. "I hope
this room is adequate for your purposes."

"It'll do," Nassur says.

The "priests" are shown their cabin. It is an unused cabin,
probably meant for enlisted personnel. Small and cramped, with only a
dresser and a bunk bed as the only furniture, it is adequate for their
purposes. As soon as Babara and the security guards are gone, Nassur
and Benten search the room for any electronic listening devices. "The
room's clean," Benten announces after several minutes.

"Good," Nassur pulls down the hood. "Everything is going as
planned."

"Is it?" Benten pulls down her hood. "Seven Bake Rose was
looking at us suspiciously."

"That's fine. As long as she doesn't tell anyone."

"You think that Lum is really in that cabin?"

"My powers don't lie. Whatever Elle has done with her, it's
affected her brain-wave pattern. All we have to do is to find where
Elle has stashed the others and wait for Captain Invader to come, then
run like hell!"

"Famous last words," Benten lies down on the bottom bunk.

"Until then," Nassur adds, "...try and act like a nun."

"How?"

"When somebody asks for spiritual advice, don't tell them to
go forth and multiply."

"It was all I could think of at a moment's notice," Benten
sighs.

* * *

Later, the emergency launch bay has been renovated into a
makeshift wedding chapel complete with pews and altar. Like
everything else to do with Elle, it is decorated in roses of various
colours. Shinobu, Mendou, Megane and the guards sit in the front row,
dressed in either frilly dresses or military-style uniforms. All
carry iron balls and chains attached to their ankles to prevent their
escape. They are also under armed guard. "So this is Moroboshi's
wedding," Mendou sighs. "I think we'd enjoy it more if we weren't
forced to become a part of the wedding party."

Everyone grunts with agreement. The guests are off-duty ship
personnel with not much else to do. Among them is Seven Bake Rose,
who is busy coordinating the security in the chapel. *I'll be ready
for you, Nassur*, she growls. *A pity you didn't bring Dakejinzou
Shogai with you. I always heard you two were close!*

Finally, the wedding begins. Nassur and Benten take their
places at the altar. He notices Shinobu and the others nearby.
"Well, there's everyone here but Ataru," Nassur whispers.

"Here comes Ataru and Elle," Benten whispers.

Elle enters first, dressed in a lovely white rose-shaped
wedding dress and carrying a bouquet of white roses. She stops in
front of Nassur. Ataru is next...sort of. A pair of large female
guards drag Ataru to the altar. For the record, Ataru is dressed in a
military style uniform of red and white. "I don't wanna do it!!!"
Ataru yells. "I don't wanna get frozen!!!"

"Quiet!" a guard orders, backed up with a whack over the head
with her sledgehammer! "It's too late to back out now!"

*And I have to marry these two?* Nassur sighs before he starts
the ceremony. "Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today to witness
this travesty...I mean...bonding of this man and woman in holy
matrimony."

* * *

The rest of the crew on duty is watching the wedding on
monitors all over the ship. On the bridge, most of the bridge
personnel are watching wedding except for the scannery officer.
Suddenly, a huge blip appears on her scanner. She immediately runs
the blip through an identification program. Horror crosses her face
when it states the blip is a Kashin-class battle wagon from Uru.
"Captain!" the officer snaps. "A Kashin-class battle wagon has just
come out of warp! It's headed this way!"

"What?!" the captain looks shocked. "What are they doing
here?!"

The communications officer looks up. "We're being hailed."

"On screen," the captain orders.

On the main screen, the gruff and snarling face of Captain
Invader appears. His face is so close to the screen, it distors his
ugly features further. Everyone on the bridge jump in the air in
surprise and fear. "Attention, 'Rose Empress,'" Invader growls.
"This is Captain Invader of Uru! You have my daughter, her husband
and several of their friends prisoners!! Release them now or it's
war!!!"

The captain staggers to her feet with a look of total panic on
her face. "Who told the Devil they were here?!!" she stammers. "Red
alert!!!"

"But, Captain," another officer looks confused. "What about
the wedding? The Queen'll be angry!"

"This is important," the captain snaps. "If Her Majesty has a
beef about this, she can talk to the Devil himself!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Nassur and Benten are finishing up their impromptu
wedding ceremony. "I now pronounce you husband and wife," Nassur
blesses Elle, trying to keep from laughing. "You may kiss the
schmuck...I mean...the bride."

Elle turns to Ataru slyly. Ataru looks nervous. "You heard
the man," the Rose Queen grabs Ataru by the tunic and puckers up.
"Kiss me!"

"I never kiss on the first date!" Ataru protests.

*Jeez, what a rude guy*, Benten sighs.

Elle moves to kiss Ataru. "Don't be so bashful, Honey!" she
purrs. "Steal a kiss from my lips."

Elle's lips move closer and closer. Helpless, Ataru can not
do anything until...the ship suddenly heaves to a stop! Elle winds up
on the deck face-first before the klaxons go off. Personnel in the
pews immediately rush to the exits to go to their battle stations.
"**ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL!!!! RED ALERT!!!! THIS IS NO DRILL!!!!
QUEEN ELLE TO THE BRIDGE IMMEDIATELY!!!!**" a voice on the intercom
yells.

"What is going on now?" Elle sighs before grabbing Ataru and
dragging him off. "C'mon, Honey! You're not getting off easy this
time!!"

"Hey!" Ataru protests. "Lemme go! Lemme go!"

Soon, all who are left in the chapel are Nassur, Benten,
Shinobu, Mendou, Megane, the bodyguards and a couple of Ellsian
guards. "What do we do now?" asks one of the guards to the other.

Nassur walks up to the guard. "If I may make a suggestion..."
he smiles. "Maybe you can...TAKE A NAP!!!!"

Nassur decks the guard with a punch to the jaw. The other
guard looks surprised, then turns to shoot him. Unfortunately for
her, Benten floors her with a kick in the face. Of course, Shinobu
and the others are surprised to see a pair of priests willingly
beating up a couple of guards for a group of people they do not know.
"Who are these guys?" Megane asks.

Nassur and Benten pull down their hoods. "Haven't you Terrans
ever heard of a last-second rescue?!" the former asks.

"Nassur-kun?!!" Shinobu gasps. "You're alive!!! But, how?!!"

"Benten saved me, Shinobu," the Vosian smiles.

Shinobu responds by crying into Nassur's chest. Benten looks
jealous while freeing the others. "Elle said you were dead!" Ataru's
former girlfriend wails.

"She came close," Nassur sighs. "Let's get out of here!"

"But, Lum's been shrunken down," Mendou reports. "And Seven
Bake Rose is guarding her!"

"Let me and Benten worry about them," Nassur orders. "The
rest of you get to the main launch bay and into Benten's ship."

"How do we do that?" Shinobu asks.

"Take that elevator," Benten says pointing to an elevator
marked EMERGENCY LIFT TO MAIN LAUNCH BAY. NO SINGING!

* * *

On the bridge, Elle rushes in, dragging Ataru behind her.
Babara is there as well. "Who's disrupting my wedding?" Elle demands.

"He is," Babara points to the screen.

Elle looks horrified at first on seeing the gruff face of
Captain Invader. Ataru, for once, looks happy. "Hi, Captain!" he
grins. "Am I glad to see you!"

Elle slams Ataru's face into the floor. "Stay out of this,
Honey!" Elle growls before turning back to the screen. "This is an
outrage! You're attacking us in our own space!"

"It doesn't matter," Invader growls. "When my daughter and
her husband are in danger, I'll risk anything! Return them at once
and we'll leave without further incident! Keep them and we'll take
them back by force, if necessary!"

"Never!" Elle yells defiantly.

A security guard rushes up to Elle. "My lady," she hums
before whispering in the Rose Queen's ear.

A surprised look appears on Elle's face. "What?!!" she says,
"Honey's friends have been taken by the priests?!!"

Invader lets out a laugh. "That's right, Elle! I intercepted
the real priest at the border and sent you a couple of ringers!!
Fooled you!"

"So, it was all a trick," Elle snarls. A spotlight then
shines upon her from the heavens. Violins are heard. "Once again I'm
denied my true love. How many obstacles must I face before I can find
true happiness? It's horrible! I'm always the victim!"

"Somehow," Invader sighs, shaking his head, "...I don't think
you have anything to complain about."

Elle stops crying. The spotlight disappears. She looks at
the screen angrily. "Order all security personnel to find those
priests and Honey's friends immediately!" She then gets Ataru into a
headlock. "No one is taking my Honey away this time! If we die, we
die together!"

Elle puts pressure on the headlock. "S-shouldn't you rephrase
that?!" Ataru groans.

"Shaddup!" Elle puts more pressure on the headlock.

Ataru tries another tack. "Man, where's the damn Zephyrite
Inquisition when you need them?!" he moans.

Elle looks horrified. "How do *you* know about the
Zephyrites?!!" she looks at Ataru, easing up on his neck.

"How *do* you know?!!" Invader demans, just as white.

"That's *my* secret," the Terran chuckles. "And you can
*both* forget asking me how...if you don't want to have Lum and Elle
facing Star Chamber!"

For the first time, both the Ellsian queen and the Urusian
captain look mortally afraid for their very lives because of this one
Terran whose presence has affected them both deeply. The bridge crews
of both the "Kashin" and the "Rose Empress" are just as afraid.
Seeing this, Ataru finds himself smiling, not understanding why he
suddenly feels a strange pleasure at the discomfort he just caused
them...

* * *

Meanwhile near Seven Bake Rose's cabin, Nassur and Benten
arrive, guns drawn. "Let's get Lum while everyone's still busy with
her father!" Nassur blasts the computer lock.

Benten opens the door using an emergency hand crank. "I only
hope she's still alive and whole!"

In the cabin, Lum is awakened by the noise of the door opening
manually. "*Datcha!* What's going on?"

The Oni sits up, looking surprised to see Nassur and Benten
entering the cabin. "Nassur?!! Benten?!! That's impossible!!
Nassur-chan's dead!!! I must be dreaming!!"

"Look around for anything unusual," the Vosian orders, not
immediately seeing her former apprentice. "I sense Lum around here
somewhere."

"What could be unusual here?!" Benten looks appauled by the
mess. "That Rose is such a slob!!" Benten then notices Lum's cage
first. "An animal cage?" the Fukunokami hums, not clearly seeing who
is inside. "Funny. I never thought Rose was one for keeping pets."
Benten picks it the cage up to look at what is inside. "I wonder what
it is?" she hums...before seeing a familiar green-haired Oni girl in a
tiger-striped bikini!

"Benten, it's me!!!" Lum yells.

"What?!!" Benten yelps with surprise, almost dropping the
cage. "Lum?!! What are you doing in here?!!"

Nassur appears beside Benten. "Lum?! What happened to you?!"

"Elle hit me with a shrink ray," the Oni sobs. "She carries
it with her wherever she goes! It's the only thing that can restore
me to normal!"

"Don't worry," the Vosian nods. "We'll return you to normal
as well as rescue Ataru!"

"Oh, really," a woman's voice says from behind them.

Nassur and Benten spin around to see Seven Bake Rose, a gun
pointed at them. "Rose!!!" the Fukunokami gasps.

"Don't move!!" the Ellsian growls. "You may have escaped
being blown up with your starship, Nassur, but I'm sure the Queen'll
reward me handsomely for killing all three of you trying to escape!!!"

"Always the opportunist," Nassur hums.

"Put the cage back on the desk!" Rose orders. "And keep your
hands where I can see them!"

"Okay! Okay!!" Benten sighs, setting Lum's cage on the desk.

Nassur and Benten lift their hands into the air. "That's
good," Rose nods. "Now, should I shoot you all now or wait until
Elle-sama comes?"

<<What's the scouting report on Seven Bake Rose?>> Benten
psi-links.

<<She's a paranoid schizophrenic,>> Nassur psionically
answers. <<But, Dake-chan said that she's pretty efficient in her own
right.>>

<<Best information source of all!>> the Fukunokami nods.
<<Can you stop her?>>

<<With your help,>> Nassur turns to Seven Bake Rose.

<<You got it.>>

"You may have fooled everyone else posing as priests!" Rose
gloats. "But you didn't fool me!! Resign yourselves!!"

Suddenly, Benten and Nassur both jump Rose, bashing her into
the nearest bulkhead! The force of the impact causes the Ellsian to
drop her gun to the deck. It slides out of her reach across the
floor. Rose quickly pushes them away. "Rumour has it you can't fight
one-on-one," Nassur growls. "Wanna prove me wrong?!"

"Child's play!" Rose snorts. "I'll beat you easily!"

The two hunters enter a staring contest. Benten wonders what
to do next. <<Hey!!! What about me?!!>>

<<Grab Lum and get out of here,>> Nassur orders, <<...before
it gets ugly!>>

Before Benten can reply, Rose jumps Nassur. The two hunters
crash through a bulkhead. Benten grabs Lum's cage. "C'mon, Lum!!
We're out of here!!"

"But, Nassur...!" the Oni gasps.

"...is old enough to look after himself!" the Fukunokami
snaps.

Benten runs down the corridor to get to the main launching
bay. "Don't jiggle...the cage...too much, Benten!" Lum moans,
suddenly looking as green as her hair. "You're...making me...sick!"

"Sorry," Benten sighs...

* * *

Meanwhile, in the main launching bay, Shinobu, Mendou and the
others have arrived by the elevator. "Here we are," Shinobu steps off
the elevator. "Now which one is Benten's ship?!"

They see dozens of starships, space fighters and mobile suits
in the bay. "They all look alike," Megane sighs.

"There is no honour in this," Mendou snorts. "We should be
helping Nassur and Benten save Lum-san!"

"But, Nassur-kun said it's too dangerous," Shinobu sighs. "We
should obey him!"

"What does he know?" Megane growls. "All he's doing is trying
to keep Lum-san and Ataru together!" He then pats his chest proudly.
"If Ataru should have an accident, Lum-san will go to me for sure!"

Mendou and the guards turn angrily to Megane. "Forget it,
Aisuru!!!" Kakugari growls. "She'll go for me!!!"

"No way, Daremo!!!" Paama interrupts. "She'll go for me!"

"Not a chance, Shitto!!!" Chibi leaps up and down. "She'll go
for me!"

"Enough!" Mendou draws his katana. "If Lum-san is to go to
anyone, it shall be me, Shutaro Mendou!!"

The guards begin to glow with anger. Megane's glasses cloud
over. "***DREAM ON!!!!!!***" they leap at Mendou.

Watching the brawl that has just started, Shinobu shakes her
head in disgust. *This is stupid!*

Then a spotlight shines on everyone, causing all movement to
stop! "Freeze!!!" a voice orders. "Put your hands in the air!!!
You're all under arrest!!!"

* * *

Somewhere else on the ship, Benten, still carrying Lum in her
cage, confusedly stares about her present location. "I think we're
lost," the Fukunokami sighs. "I don't recognize this part of the ship
at all! We seem to be safe."

"You call this safe?" Lum growls.

Suddenly, Benten hears a sound from nearby. She pulls out her
chain. "Someone's coming?" she gets into a defensive posture, placing
Lum's cage on the deck. "Nassur?! Is that you?!"

Then a small grenade-like object rolls to Benten's feet.
"Huh?" she looks confused. "What's this?"

The grenade explodes, causing a blinding light to gleam into
Benten's eyes! "I can't see!" the Fukunokami reaches for her face.

Lum, who barely managed to hide her eyes in time, looks
helpless as Benten falls to one knee. "Benten!!! Look out!!!"

Benten turns instinctively...but gets introduced to a security
officer's rifle butt! Benten falls to the deck unconscious, a welt
forming where the rifle butt hit her. "Wake up, Benten!" Lum pleads.

Unfortunately, Benten does not respond to her plea. A young
security guard picks up Lum's cage. "We got you now! Take them to
Lady Elle!"

* * *

On the bridge of the "Rose Empress" a few minutes later, Elle
and Invader are busy staring into each other's eyes with the help of
the viewscreen, trying to psych out the other, having recovered
quickly from Ataru's curious revelation. He and Babara look upon this
nervously. "When are they going to do something?" the Terran
whispers.

"Probably when something funny happens," the old Ellsian
replies.

The turbolift opens and Shinobu, Megane, the guards and Mendou
are escorted on the bridge by a squad of security officers. They are
quickly joined by another group of security guards who have a
recovered Benten and the still-shrunken Lum. "My Queen," an officer
bows. "We have most of the escapees and one of the assistants in
custody."

Elle turns from trying to out-stare Invader with a smile.
"Good!" she grabs Lum's cage, pointing her shrink ray gun at it.
"Here's your precious daughter, Captain!! Back off now, or she
shrinks to nothingness!!!"

"Daddy, don't!" Lum wails. "Attack now!! I don't mind dying
if I'm with my friends!!!"

Invader looks at Lum nervously. "But, you're my life,
Lum-chan!" the captain shakes his head. "I can't let you get killed.
I'm sorry, but I must...!"

Whatever Captain Invader was going to say is then cut off by
an explosion underneath Elle! The deck bursts as if something was
being smashed through it from below!! Elle falls to the floor,
dropping both the shrink ray and Lum's cage. The shrink ray slides to
Benten, while Lum's cage slides to Ataru. "What was that?!!" Babara
gasps.

"Her," Shinobu points to the unconscious form of Seven Bake
Rose, now hanging from the light fixtures.

"Who did that?" Mendou asks.

Elle stands up. "What hit me...?" she groans.

Benten then realizes she has an interesting opportunity.
Immediately, she picks up the shrink ray gun, points it at Elle, and
pulls the trigger. The green beam strikes Elle directly! In seconds,
she has been shrunk down to the same size as Lum. "No!" Elle screams.
"I must escape!"

Benten tries to grab her, but Elle manages to evade her hand.
Elle makes her way towards Babara. "Babara! Help me!"

On the way to Babara, she must pass the gaping hole that Rose
made. Unfortunately for the Rose Queen, someone inside the hole grabs
her! It is Nassur. Everyone looks surprised to see him climb out of
the hole. "Nassur?!!" Elle turns white. "B-but...you're dead!!!"

"Sorry, Elle," the Vosian shakes his head. "I'm still
around!"

The security guards first reaction is to point their guns at
Nassur. "No!" Babara orders. "You fools! He has Elle-sama prisoner!
You might hit her!!"

"Everyone's here that we're supposed to rescue," Nassur sighs.
"I love it when a plan comes together!"

"Please release our Queen, Nassur-san," Babara pleads. "We'll
let everyone leave peacefully if you let her go unharmed!"

"I'll do so," Nassur intones, "...if she tells us how to
reverse the effects of the shrink ray!"

"Never!" Elle yells defiantly.

"No, eh?" Nassur walks calmly up to Lum's cage, opens the door
and moves Elle towards the opening. "I'm sure Lum would like to help
you change your mind!"

Lum's body glows with her lightning. "Drop her in here,
Nassur-chan!" the Oni growls. "I'll make her talk!"

Seeing the angry Oni is enough to change Elle's mind. "Okay!"
she waves her hands in surrender. "I'll tell! You must change the
polarities of the gun itself!!"

Benten takes the gun apart with a hairpin, then starts to
re-wire the weapon. "I got it!"

A few minutes later, she finishes. "There!" the Fukunokami
sighs. "I hope this works."

"It will! It will!" Elle looks frantic.

Nassur takes Lum out of her cage, then set the Oni down beside
Elle. Benten points the gun and pulls the trigger. A red beam
strikes them! Both quickly grow to their normal sizes. Once back to
normal, Lum quickly hugs Ataru. "I'm back to normal now, Darling!"
Lum then fries him with a lightning bolt of affection!

Ataru lets out a sigh of resignation. "Maybe I should move to
live with Grandma..."

Ell walks up to Babara. "Now, get off my ship!" the Rose
Queen snaps. "And never come back!"

"Sore loser!" Benten says.

* * *

A half-hour later, the "Kashin" and the "Rose Empress" proceed
in separare directions. In the observation gallery of the Ellsian
patrol monitor, Elle watches the Urusian battle wagon disappear in a
rainbow of warp energy. A concerned look is on her face. "How did
Honey know about the Zephyrites, much less the Inquisition and Star
Chamber?!" she looks at Babara. "I almost fainted when I heard him
talk about that!"

"Understandable, ma'am," the old nurse nods. "It seems Mr.
Groom is keeping quite an enormous secret away from everyone,
including Lum."

The Rose Queen then smiles. "Yes, he is, isn't he...?" she
purrs. "Well, well, well! This actually might be an opportunity for
us, Babara!"

"We would have to research more about Mr. Groom's family..."
Babara hums, contemplating what has to happen next. "See if he has
any relatives who've dealt with Zephyrus in the last few years. If
there is any connection between the Moroboshi family and the
Inquisition, any further attempts at obtaining Mr. Groom might lead us
to face a Holy Crusade."

Elle nods. "Yes...but *we* have something that would even
make the Inquisition hesistate, don't we, Babara?"

"Indeed we do, Your Majesty," Babara nods.

The "Rose Empress" then disappears into hyperspace as Elle's
laughter is heard...

* * *

An hour or so later, the "Kashin" is on its way to Earth to
drop off Lum, Ataru and their friends. Everyone is in Captain
Invader's ready room celebrating their survival. "Well, it looks like
my family is in debt to you again, Nassur-kun!" Invader laughs. "What
reward do you want this time?"

"Well," Nassur scratches the back of his head, "...I could use
a new 'Renegade' after Elle destroyed the old one!"

"No problem!" Invader nearly kills Nassur while slapping him
on the back!

"Thank the gods this is over," Ataru sighs. "When we get
home, I'll never look at another girl again!"

"Never?!" Lum looks surprised.

"Never!" Ataru replies.

"Why, that's nice Darling!" Lum tries to hug him...but Ataru
has disappeared! "Darling...?!" she looks around.

Lum notices Ataru trying to chat with Benten. "Hey, Benten,"
Ataru smiles. "Why don't we get married?"

"***WHAT?!?!?!***" Lum screams. "I thought you weren't going
to look at any other girls any more?!!"

"But, we haven't got back to Earth yet!" Ataru smiles.

Lum then zaps him! "***DARLING, YOU IDIOT!!!!!!***" she
yells, he voice echoing through space.

As the "Kashin" flies on, Ataru's incensed voice is heard.
"Oh?!!" the Terran growls suddenly. "Maybe, when I get back to Earth,
I'll make sure that I never have to put up to **you** again, Lum!!! I
can **do** it, too!!!"

Lum lets out a cry of shock. "**WHAT?!?!?!**"

"Believe it not...he *can* do it, too!" Invader sighs.

"Lum-san!!" Mendou passionate voice cries out. "Moroboshi has
betrayed you once again! Permit me to fill the gaping hole in your
heart!!"

Another lightning blast is heard! "***I'LL LEAVE GAPING HOLES
IN YOU IF YOU DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE, SHUTARO!!!!!!***" Lum screams.

The guards laugh with delight at their rich classmate's
failure to obtain the woman he desires. "I love it when a plan comes
together," Ataru snickers.

"You, too, eh?" Nassur hums...

*** The End ***