Urusei Yatsura Fan Fiction ❯ The Senior Year ❯ Darling's Other Girlfriend ( Chapter 20 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Urusei Yatsura - The Senior Year: "Darling's Other Girlfriend"
by Fred Herriot
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edited by E.B. Kushnir
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Twentieth of a series of fan fiction stories based on "Urusei
Yatsura," created by Rumiko Takahashi
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WRITER'S NOTES: Nothing this time.

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A dark room somewhere. A computer comes on line. Readouts appear:

SEARCH PARAMETERS IDENTIFIED AND CONFIRMED. POTENTIAL SUBJECT TARGET
CONFORMING TO PARAMETERS IDENTIFIED. GALACTIC COORDINATES: A-H-O, THIRD
PLANET. POINT OF CONTACT: SHO-CHIKU-BAI.

An image appears on the screen, a line identifying the target:

ATARU MOROBOSHI, ATARU MOROBOSHI, ATARU MOROBOSHI...

* * *

Ataru sneezes. "Bless you, Darling!!" Lum gasps.

"Someone's thinking about me!" he moans, rubbing his nose.

"Well, let's hope they're good thoughts," the Oni giggles as she slips her
arm around his. Ataru and Lum are now attending a late fall fair in Oshika.
Both appear relaxed in their kimonos, enjoying the many kiosks as well as
each other's company. "It's so nice to enjoy a festival without problems
bothering us, eh, Darling?!" Lum leans her head against his.

"Yeah," Ataru agrees. His eyes take notice of two young women passing
them. Ataru watches as they pass but says nothing.

"I know, Darling," Lum sighs. "Habits are hard to change."

"One has a new boyfriend, the other's married, probably with a kid," Ataru
shrugs.

Lum stops, understandably surprised. "How did you know that?"

"Both had rings on their fingers," Ataru points to his fingers for
emphasis. "The one with a boyfriend has a simple gold band. She was
playing with it. That told me they just got together. The other had a
wedding band on her finger. She wasn't playing with it. The part about
kids could be assumed, but it's also speculation."

"My, Darling," the Oni is understandably impressed. "Are you becoming the
Sherlock Holmes of the Casanova set?!"

Both burst out laughing, then Ataru kisses her forehead...just as Cherry
appears out of nowhere. "Doom comes to Tomobiki!!!"

Ataru and Lum faint! A second later, the monk flies into orbit. "SCRAM,
YOU CREEP!!!!!!" the incensed couple snap.

"Damn you...!!!" Cherry wails as he flies away!

The couple stop, trying to recover. "Doesn't the jerk ever give it a
rest?!!" Ataru growls. "Shit, he has enough idiots to pick on in Tomobiki!!
Why is he still coming after me?!!"

"Search me!!" Lum shakes her head.

Suddenly, Ataru gets a lecherous grin on his face. "Search you, eh...?" he
hums, rubbing his hands.

Lum looks wide-eyed as two large feathers lash out to stroke her neck.
"Fine, then," he cackles. "STRIP-SEARCH TIME!!!!"

The Oni howls as the ticklish feeling makes her lose all sense of
self-control. In seconds, she is driven to her knees, trying to fight
Ataru's "assault" away. "On your feet, you!!" he snarls.

"Okay, okay...!" Lum squeals, slowly rising.

"Okay...!" Ataru snickers, "...march to the nearest bush!"

Lum nearly doubles over with laughter. "I'm going...!!"

The two move towards a large bush, the type where young couples would use
to make out. Ataru still assaults his girlfriend with the feathers. In
minutes, they have moved into the most private part of the bush. Ataru
finally ceases his tickle-attack, although Lum still convulses with laughter
as she sits beside him. "Oh, Darling..." she shudders, "...y-you're too
much...!!"

They lean back, Ataru taking Lum into his arms. Both see a clear sky.
"What a beautiful night," she romantically sighs.

"What a beautiful sight," Ataru purrs.

Lum jolts as she feels his tongue gently stroke her horn-bud. Ecstacy
takes over as she half-heartedly tries to force him back. "D-darling...we
can't do it here...!" she playfully coos, allowing herself to be drawn
closer to him as her hand is pulled to a sensitive place below his kimono
belt. "What if someone comes by and see us?!"

"Let them look," he blows a lock of her hair away.

Their lips lock as their tongues playfully duel. The Oni's hand slips into
his kimono, gently stroking his most sensitive area. "Oh, Lum," the Terran
moans, rolling himself so she can be atop him, "...that's so good...!"

* * *

In the centre of the fair, a group of women sit near a ramen kiosk. All
are dressed in white tiger-and-flower kimonos. Weapons of many sorts are
hidden in their sleeves. "What do you think the Young Master and his
consort are doing?" Jinseiko nibbles on some teriyaki.

"Some night manoeuvres," Denpatan Kitei giggles.

The Kuromoroboshi howl with delight. "I've always wondered why the Young
Master does not consider bedding any of us," Futagoko Ankoku muses. African
by descent (an orphan born from an American serviceman), her curly black
hair, chocolate brown eyes and husky part-Oriental features would make her
the equal of an older Hazel.

"Agreed!" her twin sister Ittsuiko nods. "He admits he does like us! I
would gladly become his love-slave if he demanded it!!"

"Forget it, Ittsu-chan!" Chokushako Hachimitsu sticks her tongue out.
Blonde-haired, blue-eyed and fully Caucasian, she is another
American-descent orphan. "Ataru-sama likes spunkier women!!"

"He doesn't get them better than the Young Mistress!" Futagoko giggles.
"Oh, there're the Shinsei sisters!" she points.

Four Kuromoroboshi approach, two sets of twins, their relationship easily
deduced by the stormy grey eyes they share. The elder pair have short brown
hair with a forehead curl which gives them a Tintin-esque look. The younger
pair have unruly black hair. "Report?" Jinseiko hums.

"The Young Master and his consort are now having much fun discovering all
the sensual spots on their bodies," Arashiko giggles. "We," she nods to her
twin Kyoofuuko, "...decided to grant them the privacy they desire. Honeko
and Kinniko are watching over them now."

"Good," Jinseiko looks at the younger pair. "What about you?"

"Everything looks nice," Ameko smiles. "Operations at the Tiger Cub kiosk
are proceeding fine. Young Mistress Nokoko reports having no major
problems. There's no sign of anyone from Tomobiki outside of Master
Sakurambou. It seems a quiet night."

"Oh, there's another thing!" her twin sister Namiko snaps her fingers.
"There are four strange women looking for the Young Master!"

The Kuromoroboshi tense. "Who are they?!" Denpatan snaps.

"Four beautiful gaijin women all dressed alike," Ameko notes.

"There's one now," Namiko points.

They see a curly brown-haired woman walk down a pathway. Ataru's picture
in hand. She is dressed in bikini briefs with a white shirt, bow tie and
power jacket. A mass of male students follow the women, their sexual
arousal at her presence all too obvious. "Well, she at least is dressing to
attract his attention!" Jinseiko whistles.

"Is that legal?!" Denpatan gasps.

"And she's wearing a bikini in this weather?!" Kooryooko hums.

"Koo-chan, this isn't Rishiri-tou!" Kyoofuuko reminds her.

"If a good wind blows, she'll be chilled!" Kooryooko objects.

As if in response, a wind blows through the fair. The woman pays it no
mind. "She should be shivering!!" Jinseiko gasps.

"This is weird!!" Denpatan concludes.

Jinseiko turns to Arashiko. "Inform the Young Master!"

"Hai!!" Arashiko disappears in a white-and-orange blur.

Moments later, Ataru and Lum join the Kuromoroboshi in the fair. They are
escorted by Honeko and Kinniko Gekido, two platinum haired Slavic-descent
women, the former slim and the latter quite muscular. "Where are they,
Jinseiko?!" Ataru looks around.

"Right there, sir," Jinseiko indicates the strange woman.

She has now met another woman, who has long straight black hair. Boys
watch them from an advantageous distance. "Where?" Ataru looks around,
obviously not seeing who Jinseiko speaks of.

"Darling, can't you see them?!" Lum gasps.

"Who?!" Ataru continues to search.

The Kuromoroboshi quickly check his vital signs. "Sir, are you well?!"
Jinseiko feels his forehead. "You don't seem feverish!"

"Pulse is normal," Denpatan reports.

"Blood pressure is normal, too!" Kooryooko adds.

"Strange," Lum muses, glancing at the two strangers. "Darling doesn't
react to those women."

"I can't see who you're talking about!" Ataru still searches.

Drawing her gaikatana, Jinseiko uses it as a aiming ruler. "There, sir!"
she shifts his head to directly stare on the strangers.

No reaction. "They're cute! So what?!"

The girls look surprised. "No reaction?!" Lum gasps.

"What's there to be attracted to?!" Ataru shrugs. "Besides," he playfully
seizes Lum, "...I've got you!"

The Oni is overwhelmed by his kiss. Suddenly, footfalls are heard. "Oh,
there he is!" a bubbly voice is heard. "Moroboshi-sama!"

Ataru turns to see the other pair of strangers approach. One has curly
blonde hair and a dimple on one cheek. The other has straight reddish-brown
hair with the faint hint of Aramaic ancestry. The Kuromoroboshi shift as
they move to keep their master shielded. "Who are you?!" Lum looks confused.

"My name is Marilyn," the first woman points to herself. "This is Barbra,"
she indicates her companion.

They are quickly joined by their friends. "I'm Vivian," the brown haired
woman bows, then indicates her friend. "This is Cher."

"Hajimimashite," Lum lightly bows, then moves to gently grasp Ataru's arm.
"But...why are you here...and why do you want Darling?!"

"We've come on behalf of our supervisor. She wants us to request
Moroboshi-sama to come visit her," Vivian reports, projecting a friendly
smile. "She's a big fan of his!"

Everyone looks confused. "I have fans?!" Ataru stares at Lum.

"'Supervisor'...?!" Lum looks surprised, then stares at the strangers, her
eyes wide with understanding. "You're androids!"

"How did you guess?" Marilyn gasps.

"That explains the Young Master's lack of reaction," Denpatan whispers to
Jinseiko. "He never reacts when Shogai-sama is here."

Jinseiko nods. Ataru sifts through the ninjas to face Vivian. "I'd like
to know who your supervisor is," he crosses his arms. "And why the heck
does she consider herself *my* fan?! Save for some girls that I saved from
being raped sometime ago, I have no fans!"

"Well, she's a very reclusive person," Vivian blushes. "Mother was forced
to live that way for a very long time. She's an actress, you see...and most
men she meets normally desire her for personal prestige or for her wealth!
It's well known throughout the local cluster that Ataru Moroboshi would love
a woman on the spot and has done so time and time again!"

Everyone faints! "That a fact!" he embarrassingly chuckles.

"WE CAUGHT YOU!!!!!!" a voice snaps.

Everyone spins around to see a familiar quintet of Tomobiki High students.
"You slime!!!" Mendou draws his katana. "This time, you have no excuse!!!
We caught you red-handed harassing these poor damsels in distress...and in
front of Lum-san, too?!! Prepare to be made **two** for your uncountable
sins against womanhood, Moroboshi!!"

The androids tense. "They look dangerous," Cher snarls.

"Our orders are plain," Marilyn reminds Vivian. "See that Mother's guest
is brought to her home in one piece!"

Vivian nods. "Which means that anyone who gets in our way gets trashed!!"
she makes a dismissal wave. "STAR...FLASH!!!!!!"

Before the Tomobiki students can react, the androids' clothing melt away,
reforming into battle armour similar to Cutey Honey's. "Wow!!!" Lum gasps.
"I've never seen androids do that before!!"

Mendou is understandably not so excited; he receives a punch that sends him
flying into a tree. "Screw punch!!!" Vivian declares.

Chibi and Kakugari are kicked into another tree. "High-time roundhouse
kick!!!" Cher lands on the ground.

Paama is trapped by Marilyn's legs as her armour forms an airtight skirt
which sucks the oxygen from his face. "Delicious wind-tunnel thigh-lock
takedown!!!" the blonde-haired android lands on her knees, then leaps back up.

Megane tries to dodge Barbra's fist. "'What's Up, Doc' super roundhouse
suckerpunch!!!" the android calls.

"'What's Up, Doc?!'" the guards' leader wonders.

He flies into orbit at mach speed a second later! "Yeah!!" Barbra snaps.
"What's **up**, Doc?!!"

A green-hued starship then descends from the heavens. Vivian takes Ataru's
arm. "Quickly, Moroboshi-sama," the android leaps into the air as a
hatchway opens. "Come with us!"

Before Lum or the Kuromoroboshi could react, the four androids and their
"guest" disappear into the ship's underside. The hatchway slams shut as the
starship rises into the heavens. Lum leaps into the air in failed pursuit.
"Wait!!!" the Oni screams. "Bring Darling back, you automated kidnappers!!!"

The starship then blasts away in a flash of warp energies. Recognition
dawns on Lum's face. "Th-that was a Zeiwanite ship!!" she gasps.
"But...who on Zeiwan would want anything to do with Darling?!"

* * *

In deep space heading in the general direction of Yaminokuni, Ataru and the
androids relax. "Shit, what a bunch of idiots they are!!" the Terran moans.
"I didn't get a chance to talk to Lum! Hey, Vivian, you mind if I call and
tell her that I'm okay?!"

"I'm sorry, Moroboshi-sama, but our supervisor forbids us from
communicating when we're en route to or from her home," Vivian gives him an
apologetic smile. "I'm sure you can understand that."

Ataru is surprised, sensing their sincerity. "Boy, you mean this girl's
fame is **that** great?!!" he gasps.

"More so," Vivian nods.

Images pass of a young brown-haired Zeiwanite woman being mobbed by adoring
male fans. "When she was younger," Vivian explains, "...Mother was mobbed
by crowds everywhere she went! Even her own organic guards would sometimes
allow fans to pursue her!!"

New images pass of that same woman, now older, being wined and dined by the
royalty of many worlds. "It became worse when men tried to seek her hand in
marriage. All of Mother's attempts at forming relationships failed because
her potential suitors either desired her for her wealth or her fame!"

Yet more images pass of the woman in question, now very aged, being mobbed
by all sorts of fans. "Even in the twilight of her years, Mother has known
no rest!" Vivian concludes.

The images fade. Ataru stares at four very saddened androids. "And now,"
Vivian sniffs, "...now Mother has done something so terrible...she's dying...!"

"Hey," Ataru slides over to gently embrace Vivian. "There, here, Vivian.
It's okay. I'm happy this woman wants to be with me. C'mon...let's get
there as soon as we can, okay?"

The android dries her face. "Of course," she nods, standing. "STAR
FLASH!!!!!!"

Their battle armour melts, reforming into a white sleeveless form-fitting
jumpsuit. Once the transformation is complete, the four androids stagger.
"Vivian!!!" Ataru leaps up to help their leader remain on her feet.
"Wha...what happened?!!"

Barbra, Marilyn and Cher drop to one knee. "Sorry," Vivian gasps.
"Transformation...drained our...energy!" She weakly points to four
depressions in the side bulkhead. "Place...us there...please."

Ataru quickly does as Vivian asks. "What are these?!" he grunts as Cher is
lifted into one.

"Power...chargers..." Marilyn moans.

As soon as all four are in the chargers, the walls around them illuminate.
The androids jolt as energy warps through their bodies. A minute later, the
light fades. The four then emerge, looking refreshed. "Oh, that's much
better!!" Vivian sighs.

"You girls okay?!" Ataru still looks apprehensive.

"We are now," Vivian nods as the four give him a group hug.

"Moroboshi-sama?" Cher looks at him.

"What is it?" he glances at her.

"When Mother dies," the raven-haired android looks sad, "...would you
become our new supervisor?"

He looks understandably surprised by that question. "M-me?!" he stammers,
pointing at himself.

"Yes!" Barbra nods. "We're good cooks and housecleaners! We could take
care of any children you have!!"

"We can protect you from those who would harm you or try to take your
girlfriend away from you!" Marilyn winks.

"We could also be your sex-slaves if you and your girlfriend desire that!"
Vivian seductively purrs.

Ataru looks at the four, quite overwhelmed by their devotion to service.
"Well, I...gods!!" he shakes his head. "You four are so human, yet...well,
I guess...!!"

They look excited. "You'll accept us?!!" Vivian gasps.

The Terran considers their offer for a moment, then nods. "Okay! Who am I
to reject requests from four nice girls like you?!"

They squeal as they embrace him. "THANK YOU, ATARU!!!!!!"

Despite his words, uncertainty still reigns on his face. *I just hope
Lum-chan'll understand this!* he sighs...

* * *

"Ataru-chan was kidnapped?!!" Dakejinzou gasps.

Lum and the Kuromoroboshi sit with the synthezoid huntress, Nokoko and Mal
in the living room. The Oni has just explained what happened. "I don't
understand it, Dakejinzou-chan," Lum looks saddened. "They didn't even say
who wanted to see Darling...that is, they didn't get the chance to say a
thing before Shutaro and the others had to show up!!" she growls.

"Where are those idiots?" Dakejinzou sighs.

"Warming a jail cell in Sendai," Jinseiko reports.

The huntress stands. "I see we've a mystery on our hands," she crosses her
arms. "Well, then. The first thing we have to do is find out who wanted to
see Ataru-chan so badly."

"How do we do that?!" Nokoko looks confused. "Lum-chan said they didn't
leave a name."

"True," Dakejinzou raises one finger, winking, "...but the person in
question used androids to obtain Ataru, androids which have the ability to
transform into armoured warriors. Our search begins there. Lum, you have a
friend who constructs androids, do you?"

"I called her just before I called you," the Oni nods...

...just as the rumble of starship engines are heard. Everyone looks
outside to see a green-hued craft landing beside Dakejinzou's frigate.
Through the picture window, everyone sees two people approach. "Cha-chan,
you're here! Come in, come in!!" Lum squeals as she opens the door, then
embraces her Zeiwanite friend.

Chara, a platinum-haired, blue-eyed Zeiwanite woman dressed in a sleeveless
dove-embossed green jumpsuit steps inside. Accompanying her is a dwarfish,
bald man carrying several large manuals. "We came as soon as we heard what
had happened, Lum-san," the man bows.

"Thanks, Jansha!" Lum smiles. "Good! You brought the books!"

The two Zeiwanites sit down, then begin to leaf through the manuals. "Now,
to make this go quicker, are there any particular features these androids
have which may help us?" Chara muses.

"Yes," Jinseiko nods. "All four have the ability to transform their
clothing into battle armour. It was triggered by the command code-phrase
'star flash.'"

The Zeiwanites' eyes widen. "Them?!!" Chara gasps. "They're a
guardian-companion unit we constructed to special order!!"

"Just a moment, ma'am," Jansha draws a book.

Leafing through the pages, he finally arrives at one entry. Vivian's
picture is on it. "That's her!!!" Jinseiko points.

Everyone gathers around Jansha to look. "'Model Fifteen special personal
guardian-companion unit,'" Chara reads. "'Serial code number 15-41757-09.
Name...Vivian!'"

"Isn't that the name of an actress?!" Mal muses.

"Given her supervisor, the name's no surprise," Chara muses.

"Who's her supervisor?!" Dakejinzou demands.

"Tadahitora," Chara responds.

Confusion reigns on everyone's faces. "I don't know her," Lum shakes her head.

"Not surprising," Chara smiles. "You would know her by her stage name:
Yukinoonna."

Lum faints! "YUKINOONNA?!?!?!"

"Who's Yukinoonna?!" Nokoko looks confused.

"I don't believe it!!" Lum gasps. "Darling was kidnapped by the most
famous actress of the cluster?!! Why?!!"

"Who is Yukinoonna, sister?!" Mal echoes Nokoko's question.

"She was one of Zeiwan's first exports after the Postatomic Horror," Chara
sighs. "A stage actress who moved into film, video and 3-D holo as soon as
she was discovered by the major studios. She's a hundred-forty years old
about now, but her fame hasn't died out!"

"Like Bette Davis or Jessica Tandy," Jinseiko concludes.

"A hundred-forty year old actress?!" Nokoko muses. "What the heck would
someone like that want with Ataru-chan?!"

"Who knows," Chara shrugs. "She's such a recluse that no one knows what
she does these days, not to mention where she lives!"

Everyone falls silent. "Well, that's no problem!" Nokoko chuckles. "All
we have to do is talk to her agent!"

"That occupation hasn't existed on Zeiwan for a millennium," Chara warns,
shaking her head.

Nokoko looks nervous. "Um...a lawyer, then?"

"Neither has that one," Chara sighs.

"Smart people," an admiring Denpatan nods.

"So, how do we find Darling?!!" Lum demands.

Dakejinzou smiles. "Well, there's one chance," she winks. "A slim one,
but there's still a chance."

Everyone looks at the huntress...

* * *


In an asteroid belt located in a remote sector of Zeiwanite space stands a
majestic mansion protected by an atmospheric dome. The home resembles any
residence of the rich and famous anywhere in Hollywood; wealth-driven
extravagance being the driving force behind design and construction.
Located where the house's front gate would be is an atmospheric starship
dock with a retractable gangway. Approaching it now is the "Goddess of
Luck." On the frigate's bridge is Lum, Dakejinzou, Chara, Nokoko and Mal.
"You actually found this place, Shogai-san?!!" the Zeiwanite businesswoman
gasps. "I thought Yukinoonna-sama always kept her living address a secret!!"

"Ah, that's for me to know and you to find out!" the huntress purrs as she
slides the "Goddess" into the starship dock.

As soon as a secure lock is arranged, the side boarding hatch is opened,
revealing Vivian, now in a formal tuxedo. "Welcome," the android bows.
"Whom may I inquire is calling...?!"

Before anyone could give a civil answer, an incensed Lum leaps over,
grabbing the android by her collar. "Alright, you...WHERE'S DARLING?!?!?!"
the Oni snarls, lightning dancing over her body.

"Um...sorry for barging in like this, but where's Ataru Moroboshi?"
Dakejinzou smiles, firing an incensed stare at Lum.

Vivian sweats. "Oh, you must be the friends of Mother's guest," she
giggles in embarrassment. "Please, come in."

The group proceeds to the mansion. "Wow, what a pad!!" Nokoko whistles.
"Where the heck does this girl get the money?!!"

"It was a present from Chiban-sama," Vivian smiles.

"Chiban-sensei?" Lum gasps. "Oh, that's right! Yukinoonna got her break
through him!!"

"You must be quite a fan of this person, sister," Mal muses.

"Don't they have actresses in Nendo-kata society?" Lum blinks.

"Well, we do have travelling bards who relay stories from school to
school," the Nendo-kata muses. "But it is nothing in comparison to the
complex and sometimes quite disUnifying organization Earth's entertainment
industry is."

"Definitely not a movie buff," Vivian confirms.

They step inside the mansion, finding themselves in a grand foyer.
"Lum?!!" a familiar male voice calls from atop the grand staircase ascending
in a sweeping circle to one side. "Nokoko-chan?! Dake-chan?!! What are
you guys doing here?!!"

The Oni spins around, then leaps into Ataru's arms. "Oh, Darling, are you
okay?!!" she gasps. "Did she hurt you?!!"

"Tada-chan?!" Ataru snorts. "Relax, Lum! She's harmless!!"

"But...?!"

"Vivian and the others were under strict orders to ensure no one learns
where Tada-chan lives," he holds up a finger in caution. "I respect that
given who and what she is!! Besides, the jerks you really want to blame for
this are Mendou and Megane's boob-patrol!!"

"True," Lum nods, then looks around. "Where is she?!"

"Right here," an accented female voice speaks.

Lum spins around...then her eyes widen in disbelief on beholding a
stunning, twentyish-looking Zeiwanite woman joining Ataru. With turquoise
eyes and chestnut waist-length hair, Tadahitora is dressed in a dark-pink
halter-top and form-fitting pants, a white fur cape draped over her
shoulders. "My!" she smiles. "Visitors, Ataru?"

"Yeah!" Ataru waves. "This is my girlfriend, Lum. My combat teacher,
Dakejinzou Shogai. My sister Nokoko and sister-in-law Mal. I don't know
who the platinum-haired lady is, though."

"My name's Chara," the Zeiwanite bows. "I'm the Prime Minister's daughter!
My company was the one who made your 'droids!"

Tadahitora stares at Dakejinzou. "Dakejinzou?!" she muses. "It's been a
while! Does that boor Varanko still want my autograph?!"

"You *know* each other?!!" Lum gasps.

"Um, yeah!" Dakejinzou giggles, flushing in embarrassment. "When I was
apprenticing on Cademus, Varanko-sama sent me to find this place, but he
never told me why!! All he gave me was a sealed envelope and instructions
not to open it until I found Tadahitora! When I got here, I opened it and
found out that all he really wanted was her autograph!!"

An explosion occurs, Ataru and Nokoko dancing off all the walls!! "Wait!!"
Mal interrupts. "Sister, is not this person supposed to be past a century
in age?!" she points at Tadahitora.

"Yeah!" Lum looks at the actress. "How'd you get so young?!!"

Ataru moves to place a friendly hand on her shoulder. "It's...easily
explained," Tadahitora sighs...

* * *

A day later, the "Goddess of Luck" returns to Oshika. Chara and Jansha
return to Zeiwan. In the living room, Dakejinzou, Nokoko, Mal and Lum sit
around the table, depressed looks on all their faces. "*Datcha*, that poor
woman!!" the Oni sniffs. "How could she...?!"

"Believe me, Lum," the huntress crosses her arms. "I can understand where
this girl's coming from."

"You can?!" Ataru's sister looks confused.

"Of course," Dakejinzou nods. "We've got an example living in Rishiri-tou,
Nokoko...your own grandmother. She's a long-lived woman residing on a world
of short-lives! Believe me, that's not fun!!"

"True," Lum nods. "Gods, the last three weeks have been so depressing,
what with Phentax Twelve blowing up, Chigaiko dying and Shinjin killing
himself!" She stands, then moves to the door. "Well, I had better get back
to Tomobiki before Ryooki-sensei gives me hell for being absent!"

"Remember!" Mal warns. "No mentioning about Ataru-kun..."

"I know, I know!!" Lum nods. "Oh, that reminds me! Ria and the others'll
be arriving at Sado from Avalon sometime this week! Tell her I'll come
visit when I can!!"

"No problem," Nokoko waves as the Oni departs...

* * *

"Did you hear?!" Momoe whispers to Kumiko the next day at Tomobiki High.
"Mendou and the guards were arrested again for going up to Oshika to pester
Ataru!"

"Gods, those five are so thick!!" her friend shakes her head. "Hey,
there's Lum!" she points.

They stare as the Oni arrives on campus grounds. Shock crosses their faces
when they see the sentient raincloud pouring on Lum. "Boy, she's
depressed!!" Shinobu gasps. "What could be wrong?!"

"Do you think she had a fight with Ataru?!" Natsuko muses.

"Are you kidding?!" Ryuunosuke looks at the girl's volleyball captain.
"Believe me, it was a good thing that Ataru and Lum decided to live in
separate places for the rest of this term! It's done their relationship a
whole world of good!!"

Momoe nods. "Now, let's hope those five dorks get the hint!"

"In a million years!" Kumiko moans.

The other girls sadly nod. "Hey, Lum-chan!" Mie runs up to the Oni's side.
"Shoo, you!!!" she waves the raincloud away, then smiles. "What's with the
gloom?! You should be smiling!"

Lum gives the Kyushu native a weak smile. "Oh, that's not good enough!"
Mie snorts. "What's bothering you?!"

"Oh, it's something Darling's involved in," the Oni sighs.

"Nothing serious, I hope!" Mie looks sympathetic.

"Well...do you remember Chigaiko?"

"Yeah."

"It's...the same idea," Lum sighs.

"Oh, boy!" the Kyushu native's eyes roll heavenward...

* * *

A day later, the Avalon gestation factory starship arrives in orbit over
Earth, geosynchronous over the island of Sado, located in the Sea of Japan
just west of Niigata. At the northernmost tip of the S-shaped island is one
of the three large Terran farms owned by Nagaiwakai Moroboshi. Now
materializing in front of the gates are Atako Moroboshi and her eleven
fellow bioroids who elected to leave their people to live their own life on
Earth. "Ria-chan, are you sure you want to do this?!" she looks left. "I
mean, bring the factory ship with us!" she points up.

"Darling, that's what our people want," Gloriana smiles. "They decided
that since the Niphentaxians practiced two-gender reproduction, they'd want
to do the same!"

"I'm surprised many didn't move to Zeiwan," Ria's sister Hensou muses.
"Ever since the Lost Ones vanished, there's long been a shortage of women."

"Well, if they decided to do that, they'll do that!" Ria sighs. "That's
the whole point of our leaving them. Let them make their own decision!"

"I don't know about you folks, but what say we move in and relax, then
scope the place out?!" Kamen sighs.

"I'm for that!" Shinoko nods.

In moments, the twelve are moving into a large dorm specially prepared for
them. Immediately a squabble breaks out among the guards' sisters about who
gets to sleep closest to Ria and Hensou. "Just like the old days, eh,
Shutako-chan!" Atako sweats.

"Unfortunately!" Shutako sighs, sweat pouring down her face.

"You're here!!!" Lum's voice squeals.

"Yo, Lum!" Kamen waves as a crowd from Tomobiki arrives.

Immediately, everyone parners with her bioroid double, quickly exchanging
gossip and news. "It is good to see you again, dear sister," Mendou gently
clasps his sister's hands. "Your divine radiance does bring such light to
this enterprise! I only wish you'd consider moving to Tomobiki to live with
us!"

"Mm...spent time in the Sendai jail again, eh?" Shutako notices the dried
ink imbedded in her brother's fingertips.

He flushes. "Honestly, Shu-kun, you've got to stop pestering Ataru!"
Shutako shakes a finger at him. "All it's going to get you is to be chained
to the altar when you get married...IF you get married!"

Mendou stammers. Shutako sighs, turning away. "Atako-chan, could you show
us around?!" she smiles at Ataru's sister.

"Sure, sure!" Atako calls to everyone else. "Hey, everyone! Time for the
nickel and dime tour!! Let's move!"

Everyone shouts her approval as they enter the main foyer. "Wow!!!" Chibi
gasps. "Man, why doesn't Ataru's old lady live here?!"

"Or his parents!!" Megane adds.

"**What** parents?!!" Atako snarls. "They can die and go to hell for all I
care...eh?!" she looks downstairs.

"Who's that with Darling?!" Lan hums.

Ataru is now escorting Tadahitora on her own tour. The Zeiwanite's
androids protectively follow their supervisor. "Hey!!!" Paama gasps.
"Those're the four Z-Rangers who kidnapped Ataru back in Oshika!! What the
hell're they doing here?!!"

*Oh, no!!!* Lum mentally gasps, recognizing the danger. *Darling, you
idiot!! Why'd you bring **her** here?!!*

"Moroboshi!!!" Mendou draws his katana. "How dare you two-time Lum-san,
especially in Lum-san's presence?!!"

Ataru and Tadahitora spin around. "What the hell are you jerks doing
here?!!" he demands.

"Darling, did you forget that Atako-chan and the others were coming
today?!" Lum flies down to join him.

"I've been a little busy entertaining..." Ataru starts.

"Oh, Lum, it's such a delight to see you again!" Tadahitora interrupts,
taking the Oni's hands in her own. "How are you?!"

"I'm...I'm fine," Lum stammers.

"Sister, you know this woman?" Ria lands beside Lum.

Tadahitora turns to the bioroid. "I'm Zensonra," she smiles.

"A pleasure," Ria bows. "I'm Gloriana. My friends call me Ria." She then
glances to Lum, suspicion appearing on her face. <<Lum, who **is** this
woman?!!>> she demands via psi-link.

<<I'll explain later, Ria!>> Lum responds, firing her sister a hard stare.
<<Tell the others to play along!!>>

<<Right!>>

Upstairs, Lan turns around, curiosity crossing her face. *'Zensonra?!'*
she hums to herself, curiosity transforming into suspicion. *I heard that
name somewhere...but where...?!*

She walks away as her sister Damasu watches her...

* * *

"EH?!?!?!" the bioroids cry. "**THE** YUKINOONNA?!?!?!"

After the visitors from Tomobiki have been sent home, Lum explains the
situation to the bioroids now electing to live in Sado. "That's right," the
Oni sadly nods. "Tadahitora-san wants to spend her last days with Darling."

"Why?!" Atako gasps. "Why's it always Ataru?!"

"Well, you know Darling's reputation," Lum shrugs. "Look at it this way.
For almost thirteen decades, Tadahitora-san has lived a hollow life because
her fame didn't allow her the chance to have real friends! The only real
friends she's ever had were Vivian, Cher, Barbra and Marilyn! Could you
imagine what it must've been like...all those years, alone?!"

"I can't," Aisuko shakes her head. "I mean, c'mon, Lum! This is just an
actress! Not everyone's **that** lifeless!!"

"Do not be so sure about that, Aisuko-chan," Oyuki's sister Mienai
interrupts. "If you believe the Niphentaxians' veneration of Lum-chan is
terrible, you have seen *nothing* which could compare to how the whole
galaxy looks upon Yukinoonna-san."

"Oh, no!!" Shinoko slaps her forehead. "That means if the word gets out
that she's here, we'll be mobbed!!!"

"Worse if the news gets out that she's dying!" Kamen amends.

"That's why this has to be top secret!!" Lum warns. "If the news does get
out, heaven only knows what will happen...especially if Grandma finds out
that strangers are tramping across her land!!!"

"I can hear the Inquisition's Excommunication March now," Atako looks to
the ceiling.

"I'm afraid that might've been taken out of our hands now," Damasu sighs.

"What do you mean?!" Mienai looks nervous.

"Mienai-chan, you know how much of a Yukinoonna fan Lan-chan is!" Damasu
looks at her bond-mate. "You'd have to be totally clueless if you don't
realize that 'Zensonra' is the name of the character she played in 'Passion
Fruit From Kasei!'"

"Hey, that was her big break, wasn't it?!" Hensou muses.

"And Lan, despite her bubbleheaded demeanor, is a lot smarter than she
normally lets on!" Atako moans. "Shit, what could she do?!"

"All she has to do is tell INN that Yukinoonna staying's here on Earth!"
Ria sighs. "Once that occurs, the ball starts rolling!!"

Everyone sighs, clearly depressed by what could now overwhelm them. "Why
don't we allow her to do just that," Shutako muses.

Everyone stares at Mendou's sister. "Shutako-san, are you crazy?!!"
Shinoko gasps. "That won't solve a thing!!"

"Not necessarily true," Shutako raises a finger in caution.

Everyone stares at each other, unsure as to how to interpret this. "What
do you have in mind?!" Lum looks curious.

* * *

"Ah-hah!!" Lan snarls. "So **that's** who Darling's seeing!!"

Playing on her main viewer is a scene from the very film Tadahitora took
the name "Zensonra" from, now freeze-framed. "Yukinoonna-sama herself is
staying with Darling in Sado!!!" the Seishin teenager hisses, calculation
mixed with jealousy raging on her face. "How dare that Lum-chan not tell me
these things?!!" she rises to her feet, fire burning from every point on her
body. "Trying to keep Yukinoonna-sama to herself!!! I'll fix that!!!"

Reaching for her space-telephone, she dials a number. Lan is surprised to
notice her connection getting through. "Eh?! My phone's not jammed!" she
hums. "That's odd!! Lum-chan always gets that creep Koosei to jam my
phone...!!"

"Who's jamming your phone?!" a groggy female voice demands.

Lan notices that she has reached her party. "Um...Milan Domo of the
Intergalactic News Network?!" she smiles.

"That's me!" a red-haired, grey-eyed Kuraokoan sighs. "Who're you?!"

"I'm Lan!" the Seishin teenager bows. "Listen! I've got the scoop of
scoops for you!!"

Milan sighs. "Go ahead..."

A second later, the intergalactic telephone lines rebound with the
reporter's shriek. "***SHE'S WHERE?!?!?!***"

"On Earth!!!" Lan nods, desperately trying to keep from laughing. "I saw
her myself!! She's staying on a farm at the north end of Sado
Island...that's off the west coast of Japan! Get this: she's staying with
none other than **Ataru Moroboshi**!!"

"Ataru Moroboshi?!!" Milan gasps. "You mean he and Lum finally broke up?!"

"By the looks of it!!!" Lan shrugs. "Why would Darling want to stay with
someone as simple as Lum-chan when he's got someone as rich and as famous as
Yukinoonna herself to be with?!!"

"I always heard he prefers the pretty girls!"

"She looks just like she did in 'Passion Fruit from Kasei!'" Lan smiles.
"And she used the name 'Zensonra' to disguise herself!! I guess it's
because of some hologram or through cosmetic surgery!"

Milan blinks a couple of times, obviously a passionate Yukinoonna fan
herself. "This is a scoop!!" she nods, seeing galactic news prizes floating
around her head. "The most eligible woman in the galaxy marrying the most
woman-crazy man ever known!!! Wait until my supervisors hear this!! Thanks
for the tip! 'Bye!!"

The connection is severed. Lan places the phone down...then her scout
echoes with her megalomaniacal laughter...

* * *

"Lan took the bait!!" Lum whispers to Ataru after joining him in the Sado
mansion's living room. "She just called Milan Domo!"

"And by tomorrow, we'll have quite the mob waiting outside to see her!"
Ataru sighs. "You sure you're up to this, Tada-chan?!"

The actress looks nervous. "I hope so," she nods. "I mean, I knew what I
was risking when I made myself young again!"

"How did you do it anyway?!" Lum hisses.

The Zeiwanite sighs. "When I...decided to seek some companionship before
my passing, Ataru-chan was the obvious choice."

"Me and my reputation again," the Terran's eyes roll.

"However, knowing his past reputation with pretty women," Tadahitora
continues, "...I realized I had to make myself young to attract his fancy.
That's when I learned of an Aimaiyite spell which allowed me to regress my
aging to whatever time I felt would best snare his attention.
Unfortunately," she looks down, "...when you get the spell put on you,
you're all but guaranteeing an early demise."

The Oni looks down. "Hey, that's enough," Ataru sighs, gently drawing both
girls into his arms. "Ria's got everything set up! By this time tomorrow,
you won't be dead, Tada-chan...but starting a new life! Treat it as a death
scene from one of your movies."

"Well...I've never done a death scene," the actress sighs.

"Now's a good time to get in practice," Ataru quips.

"Darling!" Lum hisses, zapping him. "That's a horrible thing to say!!"

All three then hear the sounds of women crying. Staring at the large
television screen ahead of them, Ataru and Lum notice Ria, Shinoko, Hensou,
Kamen, Mienai and Damasu sniffing tears as they watch a scene from "Passion
Fruit from Kasei." Shutako and Atako comfort them while the guards' sisters
remain quiet. "This is so romantic!!!" Lan's sister wails. "This is the
best part of the whole movie!!!"

"I always cry at this time!!" Kamen sobs.

On the screen, two lovers have a food-fight with fruit resembling golden
tomatoes. "Ushiko-san!!!" the male demands, beaning his lover on the
forehead. "Ushiko-san, why are you Ushiko-san?!!"

"Umao-san!!!" the female belts him with a double-blow to head and heart.
"Umao-san, why are you Umao-san?!!"

"Ushiko-san!!!" he lunges at her.

"Umao-san!!!" she lunges at him.

Total destruction as both knock each other out, the passion fruit flying in
every direction!! The girls wail as Ushiko and Umao sink into a deep pit
full of fruit, their hands lovingly grasping the other for the final time in
this plane of existence. "Oh, how terrible!!" Hensou wails. "They died not
remembering their love!!!"

"What did you think?!" Damasu looks at the guards' sisters.

They are clearly not impressed. Actually, they look ready to vomit!
"Gods, this is horrible!!!" Aisuko shakes her head. "They sacrificed good
celluloid for a crummy picture like this?!! Give me Kurosawa any day!!!"

The four are then buried under a chesterfield! "Everyone's a critic!!!"
Tadahitora snaps.

* * *

The next morning, Ataru and Lum awaken. "Oooh, what a lovely day this
is!!" the Oni hugs her boyfriend, seductively slipping herself atop him.
"Darling, care to go a round before breakfast?!"

"Mm...tempting!" he growls, moving to embrace her...then stops on hearing
the sounds of people yelling from outside! "What the hell's that?!!" he
looks to a window.

"I'll see," Lum stands.

Uncaring of her nude state, she proceeds to the window as Ataru moves into
the bathroom to bathe and dress. Just as he is about to brush his teeth,
the whole mansion shakes with her scream! Running to the bedroom, he sees
Lum hiding herself behind a curtain. "Lum-chan, what's wrong?!!" he demands.

"L-l-l-look...!!!" the Oni fearfully points outside.

Ataru looks. "***WHAT THE (BLANK) IS THIS?!?!?!***"

Now surrounding the Sado mansion from all sides is a sea of sentients
nearly blanketing the whole property. Many are humanoid, others not.
Quickly recognizable to Ataru are all the other characters, major and minor,
from the series. Calvin and Hobbes are present. Characters from dozens of
other anime shows are present. Floating in the skies above the island are
dozens of starships. Giant billboards composed of movie posters from all of
Tadahitora's many works are everywhere. Many Tadahitora wanna-bes are in
the crowd. Ataru is hanged and burned in effigy by those with even lower
morals than the bodyguards...

["***WHO SAYS WE HAVE LOW MORALS?!?!?!***" Megane and the guards scream at
the writers.]

"I've never seen so many people in my life!!" Damasu gasps, looking at the
crowd from her bedroom. "These are all *your* fans?!!"

"Yes," Tadahitora nods, seated in the middle of the room. Her face is
pale, wrinkles visible under her eyes and around her mouth. "An amusing lot
when kept at bay," she hesitantly rises, supporting herself with a cane.
"Well...might as well get this over with."

Her android servants move to protect the actress as she walks onto the
balcony. Seeing her, the crowd roars. Jock straps, even panties, fly into
the air. Tadahitora smiles as she slowly raises her hand. The crowd hushes
as they strain to hear her. She smiles as she feels her life fading.
"Good-bye."

She then disappears as the magic spell which sustained her over the
previous week mercifully releases her to the ages...

* * *

"And so ends the life of a woman who brought joy and love to countless fans
across the galaxy," Milan reports, now standing in front of the Sado
mansion. "Tadahitora of Zeiwan, known to billions as Yukinoonna, sought to
end her life peacefully, knowing the friendship of someone who at least
understood the loneliness she suffered for so long." Waving behind her, she
continues the commentary. "Ataru Moroboshi remains in seclusion, electing
to mourn the actress' passing in private..."

Koosei shuts the television off. The students from Class 3-4 spend
homeroom period watching the INN report on Tadahitora's passing the next
morning. "Well, a sad day for many," the teacher faces the class.
"However, I hope this lesson has rubbed off on you people!"

"What lesson?!" Shinobu looks confused.

"The lesson of what happens when you treat someone like those people on
Sado treated Tadahitora...or like you idiots," he glares at his class' male
contingent, "...treat Lum. Right now, many of Tadahitora's fans...the
fanatic ones...are probably contemplating suicide because they can't imagine
life without their daily fix of their favourite actress. That's not to
mention the total lack of privacy she suffered through because of her fame.
She had to live Fate knows where to be alone, viewed every attempt at
someone loving her with suspicion and fear, never knowing anyone who could
have been just a friend...just like you idiots're trying to do to Lum!"

The boys look angry. "Of course, I know that what I say passes through the
empty spaces in your heads where there's supposed to be a brain, so I can
only guess what happens when Lum graduates in February and proceeds to
Oshika to live with Ataru," Koosei wryly smiles. "Then again, for you
clowns, it won't be such a great loss!"

Howls echo as Koosei faces Lan. "But as for you," the teacher snarls.
"I've got something **special** planned for you!!!"

Lan leaps back in shock as Koosei snaps his fingers. The door slides open,
revealing a dozen monstrous creatures, all bearing buttons emblazoned with
Tadahitora's face, weapons of every possible description in hand! "Meet the
First Tadahitora Fan Club!" he announces. "I contacted them and told them
about your call to INN, explaining how Tadahitora wanted to be undisturbed
when she passed away...and how you wrecked it all because you wanted to
spite Lum!!"

The class quickly clears a path between the fans and Lan! The Seishin
teenager is understandably intimidated. "W-wait!!!" she waves them back.
"Wait!!! I can explain!!! Really I can...!!!"

"Make poor Tadahitora-sama's last days miserable, eh?!!" a giant black
kappa growls, aiming a bazooka at Lan. "***DIE!!!!!!***"

Lan screams as an explosion rips out the side wall of room 337!! Lum and
Mie sigh, totally ignoring the chaos behind them...

* * *

Vivian bows. "Thank you, Ataru. We'll never forget this!"

"You're welcome," Ataru nods. "Have a safe journey home."

Vivian turns and runs aboard her ship. The bioroids and Ataru wave as it
lifts off, then warps away from Sado. Waving good-bye from the ship before
it disappears is a beautiful woman, her features hidden in shadow. As the
ship vanishes, Ria sighs. "Darling, are you sure this was the best thing to
do?!" she crosses her arms.

"Tada-chan wanted the chance to start her life over again," Ataru shrugs as
they head inside. "Vivian and the others wanted to be human. What better
way to do that than via the factory? Isn't that what it was built for?!"

"Well, not exactly that!" Ria muses.

"At least she's got a chance to live a better life than her last one,"
Kamen wraps an arm around Hensou. "I'm sure she won't waste the chance."

The others nod. "Now all we have to do is wait for the next Yukinoonna to
be discovered," Damasu giggles.

"Just as long as they don't come after me!!" Ataru moans, slapping his
forehead. "Gods, I only want to marry **one** woman, thank you very much!!!"

Everyone else laughs...

*** The End ***