Utena, Revolutionary Girl Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ Heart of Dust ❯ Angelic Creation Namely Light ( Chapter 10 )

Title: Heart of Dust

Chp. 10 Angelic Creation Namely Light

Rating: PG-13

**Kitto OK! -Gundam Wing OST 3

Characters are not mine just borrowing for various sources.

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The grass was damp, seeping through her dark jeans as she sat. Cooling her skin and making her shiver. Or perhaps she shivered because it was a cemetery; she really didn't care the reasons why. Her eyes were fixed on the name carefully etched into the stone before her, the marble angels that decorated it never glancing her way, always looking to the distance just beyond her, rain permanently staining their features, forever weeping they were reminders. She didn't go there often, if at all…just twice a year and technically she had already reached her quota for visits. Her jaw was set, clenched a bit like it had rusted shut. She didn't cry. She never did. Past was past and Juri Arisugawa just learned to live with the lump that caught in her throat whenever she visited. There were others she had known that resided there as well, and she would visit with them as soon as she was through.

It was too cold to stay for long. The winter rain was undoubtedly on its way. She rested her head in her hands; hazel eyes still in rich contemplation of the head stone before her. And every time she came for a visit she wanted nothing more than to shout how much she hated him but she never did…because it was a soft lie. She hated the leaving and the loss, not him. She often had trouble dealing with him but she could never say she hated him… just his reasons sometimes and the way he did things, parts of him not all of him. With a deciding breath she sat up and crossed her arms over her chest.

She ground her teeth and then muttered, "I have know idea what I'm doing."

She didn't expect and reply but she paused anyway as if somewhere he might be saying something.

"You say don't worry but I worry."

A flock of birds burst from a cluster of trees, like the sound of angels leaving her behind, and then the birds descended to the ground, angels returning.

"She won't tell me who hurt her…she's stubborn and she hates me because I try and protect her. And then… what do I do Ruka? Everything is chaotic and confusing, and no one has an answer…and yes I know you wouldn't have one either would you?"

A tractor rumbled in the distance another soul swallowed beneath the earth. Juri shuddered.

"Dorothy is still in love with me," she stated almost conversationally. "Doesn't that just beat all? And then Kanoe came back… You'd be proud I managed to comfort her with your words… your…," She swallowed hard, sighed and continued, "Almost have that degree though… Almost and then…what? You just had to leave didn't you? I could use you… or at least your voice."

"Don't worry Juri."

She turned around with a start and then eased into a collected state. Staring down the man behind her and then sulking back to where she was. He placed the flowers he was carrying against the headstone and then looked over at Juri with a faint almost robotic grin, blue eyes set behind rose tinted glasses.

"I'm sorry if I scared you," he stated.

She didn't say anything.

"I didn't think you visited this place often."

"I don't."

"Ah." He broke character and took a seat next to her on the grass.

She looked over with mused curiosity.

"I visit often," he said in reply to something unasked. "You're troubled?"

"Yes."

"He would say…not to worry."

Juri gave a slight nod.

"And you would argue that there was plenty to worry about," he grinned again, that same almost inhuman grin. "I remember those days."

"Why didn't you ever tell me why he left?"

"It wasn't my place." The man shook his head adding, "But then he told me I shouldn't. He didn't think you'd believe it."

"Nothing more believable than a grave Mikage."

He didn't have a response to that. The birds took off again, tiny blackbirds singing as they went, landing again with a rustle of wings. She pulled her knees into her chest, and shut her eyes for a moment as the cold began to bite at her cheeks.

"Any suggestions," Juri asked softly, "Any at all?"

"My brother," Mikage stated, "other than telling you not to worry would say that things would work out. That miracles are made by sacrifice and that through yours… or through someone else everything would be put right." He nearly sighed, "I don't believe there would be anything else he could say."

"Thank you."

"Me or him?"

"Both."

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**There's just one thing so important you can't entrust it to anyone ---
There's only one chance, reach out for it --- tomorrow's too late
Forget about yesterday when all you could do
was hug your knees and sigh… believe in yourself**

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She stayed just long enough and then left to visit the others she knew. And standing there at those graves just reminded her that when Sorata came to visit she would have to go to that place again…set flowers again and listen to her brother pray. She didn't have the knack for prayer. She tried but the words felt empty, the reasons lost. But no matter whether she believed in the words or not, whenever she visited her parents she would say them because they would have wanted to hear. Or so she believed…or so she thought…they had left such a long time ago. Accidents…she hated the word. She sighed. All this time and she could still be resentful. All this time and she still asked why and kept herself from crying because she had told herself she was through with it, finished.

Ten minutes…

That's how long she could last without her brother being there, and that was how long she stayed. She said her good-byes and began the walk to her car. Juri never bothered them with her problems she just told them what would make them happy.

Along the way she saw a familiar petite form kneeling at a grave. She didn't know if she should approach but she did. Stalked up next to the girl and quietly waited to be noticed, which didn't take long. Shiori sighed and looked over. Face still harboring the damage from the unknown assailant, violet to match the violet of her eyes, her hair. And Juri had to remind herself that Shiori was never as fragile as she looked but still…still there were those moments when she saw the girl's gossamer wings snag, and rip.

"I thought you hated places like these," the girl finally said.

Juri kept her eyes to the ground, the green of the grass as she replied, "Not my favorite…but sometimes I have to pay a visit."

Shiori's expression washed with a sad understanding, "I forgot…your parents."

The stoic angel nodded adding softly, "And a friend from high school."

Violet eyes shut briefly and then she turned her attentions back to the grave muttering, "He…drown… to save me."

Crystalline tears began to show a weakness the smaller girl tried to fight. She pulled away when she felt Juri's hand on her shoulder.

"Stop it! I don't need your comfort, or your protection. I don't! All my life… and they all end up hurt because of it. There are no princes Juri… they don't exist so stop acting liked one…," she trailed off sobbing.

Juri kept her distance, "You're right…there are no princes. And protectors will sometimes leave you."

"What would you do if I told you who hit me," Shiori asked with a hiss. "Would you go out and gather vengeance for me? Fight for me? And why…why did you come when I called? After everything you should just let me rot like I deserve."

The angelic panther took in a deep breath and stood tall and softly, softly replied, "Fairy tales are for fools… and even with your innocent cruelty…even with that poisonous tongue you know how I felt about you. You know how I am. I don't like to see people hurt… and you don't deserve it."

That was a bit too much for Shiori and Juri soon found her self fending off petite fists trying to pound into her, cries leaving the girl's throat like curses or worse. It took very little effort to subdue the smaller girl. The perplexed panther holding her off at arms length listening to her rants, shouts of pain…but not pain of having her wrists locked in place by Juri's hands… this was internal pain. Deep and torturous the kind Juri had experienced only twice in her life (and she knew once was well enough for anyone to experience).

"I should be there," Shiori was calming slightly. Breath ragged and tears still fresh, "It should be me…it should… I deserve it."

"Shiori….," Juri relaxed her grip and brought the girl to her closely wrapping her arms around her tightly, "Shhhh… Shiori it'll be fine."

She listened very closely as the violet-eyed girl muttered. All realization hitting her, a lightening strike of knowledge, she hadn't realized earlier just how fresh the grave was. Shiori relaxed into her completely, and shuddered at Juri's touch comforting as it was.

"It…it should be me," the smaller girl sobbed again.

"No…it shouldn't," Juri whispered.

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**You're always full of dreams… don't worry about anything
It doesn't matter if they don't come true ---
Everything's perfectly OK!
You're always full of dreams… don't worry about anything
Ride the wave you've been waiting for…**

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She was still sniffling when they sat at the table Juri had procured just out of sight of everyone. The auburn haired beauty took the liberty of ordering for both of them, nothing big just two herbal teas a breakfast plate to split. Shiori was still in a cross of rage and overwhelming sadness but she kept quiet and after the food had finally come she picked at her eggs before glancing over at Juri and muttering a thank you.

"I don't understand you," Shiori whispered.

"You don't have to," was the quiet reply. "Do you want some more tea?"

The petite girl shook her head. "Why are you doing this?"

"Why do you think?"

"Taking pity…"

"No," she sighed, "Despite your beliefs I do not look down on you, and I don't think I'm better than you. Everything I ever did… I did because I wanted to. Besides when was the last time you actually had a meal anyway?"

"At your house…that day…" She scoped a bit of pancake into her mouth. "Can you…give me a ride home?"

"Of course," swiftly adding, "and you know you can call if you need me?"

"I won't be calling again," was the harsh reply.

"Whatever you like…"

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**Even if you're just hugging your knees and sighing
and can't see the answers, believe in yourself…
Maybe it will turn out fine, yeah, so I'm sure it will turn out fine
Your chance is right in front of you ---
It's fine… it's sure to be OK!
Maybe it will turn out fine, yeah, so I'm sure it will turn out fine
Your chance is right in front of you ---
It's fine… it's sure to be OK!**

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She picked up the phone the second it rang.

"Hi…no it's okay…. It's okay really… I can come over… Are you sure… Don't be that way… Yeah well you can hate me tomorrow… What…Sure I'll grab her too…Yes I'm sure she'll come… I'm sure she'll give you no end of grief from tearing her from sleep… Hush…It's okay…Ten minutes and we'll be there… Yes…Yes…Hmmm… No my white horse never gets tired…But you already knew that… Okay…Okay… Goodbye Shiori."

She hung up the phone and then dialed speaking when the other end picked up; "Hi…Yes I do know what time it is…. Yes again…Will you come… No it's not an order…Well I'll just calmly explain that-… Dorothy you're impossible you know that… I don't know…Maybe she likes you… Yes well one day she'll be fine… Yes and one day she won't be calling me… Oh please you know the answer to that already… Thank you… I'll see you there…Bye."

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**Maybe it will turn out fine, yeah, so I'm sure it will turn out fine
Your chance is right in front of you ---
It's fine… it's sure to be OK!
Maybe it will turn out fine, yeah, so I'm sure it will turn out fine
For the dream that never ends**

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To be continued…