Utena, Revolutionary Girl Fan Fiction ❯ It's Easier To Run ❯ It's Easier To Run ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

It's Easier To Run
By Anna

PS. Before any of you say Saionji is OOC, please note that whenever he's
thinking or wants to avoid Wakaba.

~*~

Watching dying embers
I remember my dark past
Shifting through the memories
I wish I didn't have

My heart is black and shattered
Worse then the firewood
If only I could turn back time
And change the past- I would

I'd have never ever fallen in love
If women passed I'd look away
I'd have stayed home with my mom
Been with her on her dying day

But at least my past has taught me
Taught me not to love again
To try and quell my feelings
And remain with *her* just friends.

I've learned not to let another in
So as to avoid more misconceptions
That loving should be made a sin
And not even for *her* will I make an exception

I've learned to keep my secrets
And I've learned to keep my silence
I've learned to mask loving emotions
And cover them with violence

But of all the things that I have learned,
This lesson is number one:
When pain becomes enormous-
It's easier to run

Yes, I've learned it's easier to run
That it's easier to go
To calm the hurt with numb feelings
To face the pain alone

*She* knows all my secrets,
both the hidden and shown
She cares so much more for me
Then anyone I have ever known

No- I refuse to fall again
I mask my love, cover with 'hate'
For if I don't stop caring for her-
It may become too late

Because it's easier to run
Yes, it's easier to go
To calm the hurt with numb feelings
To face the pain alone

*She* smiles at me and reassures
*Her* loving touch drives me insane
*She* showers me with kind hearted words
I will not fall! Not again!

I cannot let another in!
Loving *her* would be a sin!
I must not let emotions win!
I must turn and run!

For it's easier to run
Yes, it's easier to go
To calm the hurt with numb feelings
To face the pain alone

But as *she* takes my soft hand
I know all the battles I've been in
Are as insignificant as sand-
Because this is one I know I won't win.

I should not let another in
Loving her must be a sin!
Yet I know my heart will eventually win

But for now. . .

It's easier to run.

~*~


(In case you haven't figured it out, *her* and *she* is Wakaba. ^_~)