Utena, Revolutionary Girl Fan Fiction ❯ Memory of the Rose ❯ Chapter Fourteen ( Chapter 16 )

Chapter Fourteen

Don't stand beside my grave and weep,
For I'm not there, I do not sleep,
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond's glint on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn's rain.

When you awaken in morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush,
of quiet birds in circle flight,
I am soft stars that shine at night,
Don't stand beside my grave and cry,
I am not there. I did not die.

Melinda Sue Pacho

Sari shuddered.

Adam refused to move, refused to go.

And then the voice told her what to do as it always had. Whatever power she had held on her own faded with the rising of the sun. She was the child of Ohtori Akio and Utena once more, and good little girls obeyed their parents.

If her mother wished to do it this way there was no choice.

"Come on, there's someone I really want you to meet."

Adam stiffened and looked down at Sari in surprise. One moment she's passionate and screaming and the next she's back into doll mode? What was up with her? "What if I don't want to meet anyone right now?"

"You don't have a choice," Sari replied, as she moved to the closet and began undressing without any semblance of modesty. Adam hastily averted his eyes and shrugged. Oh well, a morning visit somewhere wouldn't kill him, right?

Less than twenty minutes later they were dressed and most of the way across campus heading at a rapid pace toward the Observatory tower. Did she want him to meet Dean Ohtori again? Though he didn't understand the strange girl of his childhood, he was willing to follow her until the ends of the world to discover the key to this odd and perplexing mystery.

Sari brushed fingers down the back of Adam's arm and carefully guided him through a throng of teachers and advisors until they reached the tower. He noted one or two unusual ones as they passed: an elegantly beautiful Indian woman with a bindi on her forehead stood near a pair of twins glaring at one another; a nervous, mousy man was mouthing his notes aloud. Hoping he would meet with someone a little less formal, Adam found himself led towards the same elevator he rode on his first day at Ohtori. Had it only been a week? It seemed so much longer, really.

As they entered the machine Sari smiled for once and clasped his hand, almost unconsciously. "Be good," she murmured, pressing the button for the top floor.

The doors slid open silently and the pair of them stepped out into the Observatory… also the dean's office. Wondering mildly where Ohtori-san was, Adam was drawn to a faintly lit corner of the large room he hadn't noticed on his previous visit. Only one person seemed to be in that area, the pink-haired woman of before, tapping quickly into a computer. The secretary?

Normality, at last!

As if realizing their arrival, she glanced her way and watched as Sari hesitated at the edge of the soft halo the lights lit up around the woman. It almost seemed sacrilege to enter the quiet sanctity of that space without the woman's permission. A moment later, she nodded and the two moved closer to the workspace.

With one sweep of her hand he indicated they were to sit. Mildly amused by her silent demeanor, Adam sat and tried to figure the woman out. Though his first instinct was that she was Ohtori's office aid, something told him that perhaps his first assessment of her wasn't quite correct.

After a moment she brushed spiky bangs out of her eyes and met Adam's gaze straight on. Candid blue eyes met wary green and for the first time in his life, Adam realized that he had no need to hide his feelings anymore. She knew him inside and out- a cold and hurtful kind of knowing- but vaguely relieving as well. He could tell this woman what he really thought about the entire school, the Council, even his history and she would not give a damn. She would most likely agree with him, whether it was what she believed or not. She was tricky that way, he could tell by just the knowing look in her eyes. So THIS was the person Sari truly feared. He knew there was something more to it than he'd initially been told. The knowledge of the universe could very well be within this woman's grasp, and she didn't care. It was a strangely freeing thought.

As if reading his mind, she grinned wryly, exposing almost flawlessly white teeth with very sharp looking incisors, and leaned back in the creaky computer chair. Adam repressed a shudder and noted Sari doing the same from the corner of his eye.

"Adam."

The smile faded from his face the instant she spoke. Her voice and tone were different than before, so very different. If a voice could impact all of the senses, this one did. It tasted like the copper-penny tang of a split lip. It was rough velvet scraping across her neck; it had the qualities of a hive of angry wasps circling only feet away. The voice was like a defiled Mona Lisa to the eyes, mysterious and classical and seductive but hurting, drawing you back for one more peek. But the final touch was that shivering feeling which suddenly burned in his stomach. It was that brand new feeling he got when entire crowd of eyes followed his every motion from across the cafeteria. It was that sense, that inescapable feeling of knowing. It went deeper than tangible proof of existence, dove farther than the primordial urge to fight or flee, it simply was.

"Yes?" He could barely believe the word passed his lips, he was shuddering still from the impact of her voice. When he was sixteen Kozue had dared him to jump in the hot spring they were visiting then run down to the icy mountain creek and dive in. It had been at the coldest part of winter, and the moment he'd hit the water he'd been covered with goose bumps and screaming with the shock of the frigid water against his flushed skin. But for all his shivering and quaking, he'd never felt more alive. Her voice did that to him, it made him aware of what lay deep within for the first time in him entire existence. Thought absolutely terrifying, it made him utterly aware of the utter potential buried down deep.

As if she knew what flitted through his thoughts, the woman nodded and smiled. All the tension flooded out of his body and Adam slowly sank into the proffered chair Sari had suddenly settled behind him. Sparing a glance at Sari, the woman grinned wryly and lifted her empty cup. Adam idly noted the caption, Eternity Sucks.

"I don't suppose you could grab me another cup of green tea and leave Adam and I to talk for a few minutes, Sari?" He raised and lowered his eyebrows a few times in a bad impression of Groucho Marx. "I think the little man and I need to get to know one another if you know what I mean."

"Of course, Utena. You want anything Adam?"

Shocked at the notable lack of honorific, Adam turned to Sari. "Um, I don't know. What do you have here?"

There was suppressed laughter from across the table. The woman leaned forward and lifted her mug. "Whatever you desire, Adam. We are in the business of making your dreams come true here."

Sari raised an eyebrow at Utena but didn't comment. Utena sighed almost melodramatically, then asked, "Do you just want plain green tea?"

Adam nodded gratefully and Sari left, her slender form gracefully circumventing the random bits of furniture. She returned within minutes balancing two cups of tea, before leaving again. The woman beside him watched her go and then returned to the computer a moment. Curious and uncaring if he were being rude or not, Adam leaned forward and glanced at the screen as he took the first long sip of tea. She seemed to be reading an email. She finished the mail and closed down the windows she had up. "So what's your job around here? Are you the dean's secretary?"

She shook her head. "You already know the answer to that, Adam. My name is Ohtori Utena now, though it always wasn't so." She switched to English. "I'm also the Ends of Innocence."

Adam blinked in surprise. It had just sounded like the slender woman across the table from him had just said she was Ends of Innocence. Assuming she was joking, he cracked a grin and quipped, "Really? So how do you get a gig like that? Do tours?"

Utena laughed. "Cute. Adam, I AM the Ends of Innocence. I am the reason your beloved Sari acts the way she does, do you understand that? She does it for me."

Nodding as if he really believed her, Adam felt a quiver of unease trickle down his spine. He took a few more deep draughts of the warm tea. The effects of her voice were still there, but muted. I wonder if she really believes she's the reason Sari is acting all weird. But- what if she is? It would certainly explain a lot. It might explain Sari's strange doll-like habits, her denial of her dancing, even the way she allowed Nurikia to push her around.

He cleared his throat. It sure was hot in that office! He was glancing around the office for a thermostat or something similar when he noticed a picture hanging on the wall. One from long, long ago. Sucking in a breath, he rose to his feet and padded over to the wall. A simple black and white framed class photo, but two people seemed to stand out from the rest, even from the back. One had been Anshi, the other…

…was the woman gazing lazily at him from the desk a mere few feet away. Utena.

He blinked again. To hide his confusion he swallowed some more tea while he gathered his bearings. "You're…Utena? You went to school with Anshi and my mother, Juri?" His voice stumbled over the last word. A slight headache was forming behind his eyes. "But you look so…and you're a…I mean…"

She raised one hand and grinned broadly at him. "You know, everyone says that. I have no clue what they expect. Some old wreck with a cane, I suppose. You were going to say I looked too young, right?"

Adam flushed as he settled down across from her again. That headache was really making him ill. "Yeah. You could say that." Even his mother Juri had begun showing her age even before the illness set in, so what was this woman's secret?

Her lips twitched. "I did. Obviously you look as old as you allow yourself to feel. I've always liked being a teenager. Being a mother was an utter drag, so I decided to remain young forever."

"You are a mom?" Adam was surprised as he finished his cup of tea. He couldn't picture the flawlessly beautiful woman as a mother.

She nodded. It was obvious she could understand his surprise and took no offense. "I had my little girl at a very young age. I gave her up for her own good."

Adam shuddered. Utena said that so callously! Growing up an orphan himself, in his heart he could never fully understand the concept of giving up a child 'for his or her own good'. Children and parents were meant to be together. She noted his reaction and shrugged.

"The gods were good to me," she continued. "My little girl found me again you could say." Her hand reached up and stroked a slim signet ring on her right hand. "Now she and her father and I make a very happy family. A VERY happy family."

It was as if his blood froze despite the fire in his belly and the throbbing in his head. That ring. Adam glanced down at his own hand, to the ring there; the ring Ohtori Akio had given him not too long ago. He raised his gaze and took in the flawless complexion and the slightly tilted nose of the woman sitting across from him. The eyes were maybe a shade lighter than Sari's, but the shape and size of them could be an almost duplicate. Even the lips pursed just the same as Sari's did when deep in thought.

He felt so stupid, so very, very blind. How could he not have guessed? Even when they were standing side by side he hadn't noticed their similarities, the same grace and economy of movement.

He was meeting Sari's birth mother.

"Sari…"

"Sari knows," Utena replied in cool and measured tones. Adam almost laughed aloud and his head throbbed from the force of holding it in. This woman gave him the creeps beyond his wildest imagination, but it suddenly made sense to him, all those times Sari seemed almost too honest for her own good. This woman may be tricky, but she held to her own code of honor. He could practically feel her pique radiating off her. She was a fine specimen of a woman, and he was afraid to cross her. No, it was more than that. He was absolutely terrified.

"A wise decision," Utena said in the silence, confirming his belief that perhaps she really could read his thoughts. Adam nearly choked at her words.

"Do…I mean…"

"Does everyone else know? No. You are the first person I've told outright. Even Sari did not need to be told. She met her father before she met me, though she did not know it was he at the time. Ohtori Akio isn't quite the dramatist I have become, wouldn't you say?"

Again, Adam was stunned beyond words. Both of Sari's birth parents lived? And then, following on the heels of that thought: Ohtori Akio was Sari's father?

Bored with his inner dialogue, Utena rose to her feet. In her hands she held a slim dagger that Adam almost recognized from his fight with… Tama? But it wasn't bright and shining. The hilt was all the wrong color and seemed to be covered with something of a faded brown shade that left smears on Utena's fingers as she twirled it. Things were moving far too quickly for him. His head swam with all the revelations and he was starting to be seriously ill. Where was Sari?! He needed to talk with Sari. The world seemed to shimmer before his eyes.

"She is currently chatting with Nurikia, Adam," Utena replied out loud. "They're having a nice little conversation about following orders, one I'm sure you will have to take into serious consideration after yesterday and your actions of a few days ago. You are useless to me as you are, boy. Look how easily I poisoned you! You can't protect my daughter acting as you do! For a little bit I had hoped perhaps you were what I had longed to be, that Sari might actually be freed of my expectations of her. But I was wrong. You aren't the true Victor, meant to Descend. You are just a boy, though you may still be the key to our plans."

Poison?

Adam choked and tried to stumble to his feet, but Utena kicked him in the chest and shoved him back into his chair. "It's only a mild poison, boy, to teach you your lesson. Don't be so damn trusting next time. Like your instructor, Touga." She smirked and held the dagger up to the light. "I used to think I loved him. He was the 'god of my idolatry' for a short span of time. Manipulative bastard. If Akio thinks he can call in the last of his Council to aid his disposal of me, he was dead wrong. DEAD wrong, do you understand me, ADAM?! They won't be denied! My whole purpose in this world is to give them a proper sheath for their true potential and power! If I have to kill every single backup Akio has called in from you to Touga and all the Black Roses or Duelists in between, so be it. Kozue, Shiori, even…even Wakaba too. Every last one of them." She sneered down at him. "Weak, foolish boy."

Touga? Adam had heard rumors that his old riding instructor was on campus, but what did Touga-sensai have to do with Sari's mother? Kozue? Had she done something to Kozue? He hadn't received a letter for the past few weeks, but he'd just assumed her silence was her way of punishing him for following Juri's wishes and not her own. Was she dead?

Adam gagged. What did Utena poison him with? Coughing, Adam fought for breath. His head hurt from all her ranting and screaming. She didn't seem anything like the cool cultured woman of only a half-hour previous. Calling on his little remaining strength, he surged to his feet and threw himself at Sari's mother. She uttered a little half-gasp and slapped at him almost playfully. "What do you think you're DOING?!"

"What did you do to me?" he croaked, his hands splayed on the ground at her feet. "What did you do to THEM?! Kozue…Touga?! I can't let you…" He gasped in agony and slapped her. Hard. It calmed the pain somewhat. "Did you kill Kozue?"

"Yes," she said, holding up the dagger. "And Touga. With this very knife."

He spit in her face and turned away, stumbling over the rug and catching his balance only just in time. "How can I avenge them?" he whispered to the photo on the wall, before his legs gave out-- he tripped and fell to his knees. He could feel her behind him, preparing to stab him too. This was Sari's mother. Figured. As he knelt there a ring, cold and hard and black, found its way into his palm and he unconsciously slipped it on his finger. Oddly enough it made him feel better, made the crazy sensations of loss and agony, the sickness itself, easier to handle.

As if sensing his new resolve, Utena looked closely at him to see what the difference was and cursed at the sight of the ring on his finger. "Take it off," she whispered, stepping on his hand until he was gasping from pain. "Take off that cursed ring!"

There was a scuffle. Adam didn't know why he was fighting so hard for something he just found, but he knew it gave him an edge over the lunatic battling him and he wasn't going to give that up so easily. But she was so STRONG! He never knew it was possible for such a slip of a woman to be that powerful! Her slim fingers circled his wrist and squeezed. Adam struggled in her grip like a child, even going so far as to scratch at her eyes to try and get free, but to no avail. She easily slipped the ring off his finger and crushed it in her hand.

Black dust swirled in the air as she rose to her feet and retrieved her dagger, ready to finish the job she'd begun. She was going to stab him as she had Mitsuru. She didn't need him, no not her, she didn't need this impudent, aggressive little whelp of a boy at all!

And then…

He could feel Utena pause behind him, could feel her grow still.

He wondered why she was waiting…

…and then he heard them.

A murmur of voice seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere at once. It was too much, too quickly. The elevator dinged rather loudly and Nurikia and Sari were in the room as if Utena had somehow called them. Who knew? Perhaps she had. Nurikia at least seemed to think there was some need for battle- she had her rapier out. Utena was tearing around the room, ripping books from the walls- Nurikia had paused in front of Sari as if protecting her from the madwoman.

"KILL HIM!" Utena shrieked to Nurikia, jerking as if her body belonged not to her but to some deranged puppet master. "We will find another key, but the Swords want him dead!"

Nurikia looked around anxiously and then shuddered as she realized Utena's words were meant for her ears. Rising up, she shoved the Rose Bride aside and brandished her weapon. Sari had no response to the violence, she merely crouched where she fell, her hands clasped in front of her body, pulling that strange glowing sword from her chest.

The voices were so strong. The world was slow motion. In the dimming light of his eyesight, Adam found himself not at Utena's feet, but the feet of a woman quite transparent. A shock of blue hair brushed her shoulders; her eyes were calculating but somehow warmer than the insanity in Utena's gaze.

"Are you really dead?" Adam whispered to Kozue.

Utena screamed slowly, a distorted and agonizing sound, and a thousand scrapes and screeches answered back in the distance.

"You'd best fight her," Kozue replied as an answer. Her voice was summer and winter and love and lust all combined. "Fight like I taught you to. We of the Black Rose shall give you what aid we can."

"I'm going to miss you," he whispered. A cool and almost substantial hand brushed against his cheek.

"I know," she murmured as Sari threw him the glowing weapon. It turned end over end through the air so gradually, light glinting off the blade. He caught it just as the first battle bell began tolling. "But have heart. And protect Sari."

The world sped up.

The world slowed down.

Almost silently the battle between Nurikia and Adam began. He was too out of it to remember much of the opening parries and thrusts. For him it was as if the redhead came at him through a haze of thick gelatinous water. But he fought still.

Somehow it took forever.

Somehow it lasted only moments.

A light. A heat. A motion of his arm, not a dueling movement, and Nurikia was in his grasp, her neck in the crook of his arm, and he was bending her forward jabbing his fingers into accupressure points he didn't know he knew on the back of her neck, her shoulders, her spine. He had a distinct memory of attending a class on accupressure as part of his Doctoral degree, but he had never been to such a course in his life.

Utena's voice cut through the haze. "MIKAGE! STOP HELPING HIM OR I WILL KILL YOU AGAIN!"

Mikage, Adam mused inwardly as Nurikia passed easily into unconsciousness without a drop of blood spilled, whoever you are…thank you.

In the back of his mind he felt warmth and heard a calm, unfamiliar voice. No thanks are needed, Adam-kun. You unlocked our prison and freed us from Nemuro Hall. It was the least we could do.

It was icy in the room now. Shadows, figures, everywhere. Utena was trying to reach Adam but numerous ghostly arms held her back, slender white fingers in the darkness held her down. Her hair lay in sweaty wisps across her cheeks; her face was flushed from fury. Adam carefully laid Nurikia on the floor and rose to his feet. He recognized some of those figures, some of those ghosts. Kozue and that woman with the purple hair Juri had a small picture of…Shiori? They were there. And a slim younger man--

"Mitsuru," Sari murmured. "I am so sorry." Her face was blank but there seemed to be darkness in her eyes.

I know, replied the specter. I know.

Finally angered beyond all endurance Utena closed her eyes and froze in their ghostly embrace. The buzzing filled the room again, louder and harsher than any of them had ever heard it. From nowhere appeared all kinds of swords jamming themselves at the not-quite-flesh like a hive of angry wasps.

Ruka looked over at Mikage and smiled as the first sword pierced him. A spasm of pain crossed his face. We can bleed, he said softly. How wonderful to be free.

I know, the man replied. We can go home now I think. The buildings did not hold us after all… it was the ring. Just the ring.

"No!" cried Utena fighting them despite their grip. Iridescent blood flowed and faded before it hit the ground. It was no use, the ghosts, the tortured souls, were finally going to their deserved rest. "You are my power source, power for the Swords! They NEED you!"

Utena, whispered Wakaba, kissing the woman's flushed cheek. My prince. I love you. I always loved you. I will wait for you with Anshi, far, far away from here. My goodbye gift to you…peace if only for a few hours. Get better. Ja.

Utena's struggles slowed as ghostly lips pressed themselves against her flesh. Her eyes lightened in color, her lips curved into a slow smile. "Miss you most of all, Wakaba," she whispered. "Miss you."

The Swords continued their grisly work, only fading when the last ghostly form had let go of Utena and lay on the floor breaking into a million pieces of shimmering light. Beside Adam knelt Sari, holding the dagger Utena had been prepared to kill Adam with. With a quick, almost impersonal movement, she slid the sharp weapon across her left cheek, opening a bloody gash high on her cheekbone. Adam cried out and slapped the weapon away from her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Adam ripped a bit of her skirt off and pressed it quickly to her cheek. Her face was bleeding heavily.

Sari looked blankly at him and Utena groaned on the floor beside her. "She can't help it," Utena murmured.

At the change in tone, in voice, Adam turned to the woman in surprise. This was not the same woman he had been speaking with for the past hour, nor was she the woman he fought with only minutes previous. Her voice had lost all of its terrifying qualities. Now it was merely a tired voice belonging to a weary woman. Looking down on her he could see small smile lines around her lips, lines that had not been on her face before, and a genuine warmth and love in her eyes. Her hair looked longer now, more tapered around her face.

"Who are you?" Adam asked.

She coughed, rolled over, and ignored him for a moment. "Thank you for the reprieve, Wakaba," she whispered as the rays of sunlight crept through the cracks in the shutters and lit the Observatory with faded light. "Thank you."

"Momma?" Sari whispered, crawling across the floor. The blood from her cheek had dried to a light crust across her cheek. She looked like a refugee from hell. "Momma?"

The woman sat up and held open her arms. "Come here, sweetie. Come to Mom."

The young Bride threw herself into her mother's arms. Adam choked back tears watching the pair of them. They both looked so young!

Sari was not crying, just shaky. She sat back and scrubbed her hands along her face. "Adam, I'd like you to meet Himmemiya Utena… my mother."

"How long will it last?" murmured a tall, dark man in the shadows, watching the trio.

"I don't know, Akio-san," replied one of his companions. Her voice was icy and cool, but they could all hear the underlying emotion. "But when the Swords wake within her once more she is going to be furious. Nurikia was brought down without a fight."

"Typical that a student of yours would fall so quickly," snorted Saionji, glancing over at Touga's apparition. The ex-President chose to ignore the jibe and instead concentrated on the tableau unfolding before them. Adam cradled the Bride close to him as they spoke. Even if he had not said the words it was obvious to all involved how much he had grown to love the enigmatic Rose Bride. Sari had pulled her hair up into a simple ponytail once more- other than the cut on her face she looked fresh and innocent. In the morning's light they all looked so beautiful and pure.

"Such a shame it can't last," sighed Miki, wiping a shaking hand across his face. "At least the others were released."

Saionji seemed almost wistful. "It would be too much to ask that he might free us as well, I suppose."

A chuckle from the darkness. "I thought you were seeking something eternal, Saionji?"

"Shut up, Kiryuu."

Mildly, Juri intervened. "Why don't you both shut up and watch the pretty family if only for a little bit?

Somehow, without them noticing, Akio had slipped free of them and had joined Utena, Sari, and Adam. It was sweet…but they all knew. They all knew it wouldn't last.

Such a shame.