Utena, Revolutionary Girl Fan Fiction ❯ Ripping Her Wings ❯ Ripping Her Wings ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Title: Ripping Her Wings
Utena does not belong to me I'm just borrowing.
Poetry is mine
Rating: PG-13
Shoujo-ai content
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You have gossamer wings
That I would like to tear
You are marked in lovely colors
That I would like to fade
But your taste is poison
You are more deadly than you seem
Yes you are the things I've merely pretended at
An answer to my dreams

The academy was lost in dark tones. Gray skies quickly converging into charcoal colored clouds. Pale blue frost forming on the off white paths, shading the grass into delicate turquoises, minute lingerings of violets on the classroom walls. Strange little shades to fit the decidedly bizarre school in its short season of winter. For all the chill in the air and the added sharp winds Kozue Kaoru was still distinctively clad in the all too short Ohtori skirt and polite button up blouse. Not a goose bump perked on her pale skin, nor a shiver shot through her spine as she stalked along the tiny path. Lifeless and bare black branches spread out over head casting shadows that were more mysterious than usual. The once colorful and dry leaves that scattered the path were now black, damp with decay and rot. She didn't let it bother her as the mess squished beneath her shoes. The air was crisp and as if on cue the rain began to fall hitting everything it could with wet and violent splatters. She frowned at the sudden change of weather. It was getting late and soon the clouds would be lost in the folds of another starless night. Wiping her soaked topaz hair from her face she took some refuge under a tree that was desperately clinging to its leftover autumn foliage. Leaned against the trunk and waited to see if the sudden down pour was temporary.

She sighed with just a spark of irritation after a good five minutes had passed. The rain was not going to stop anytime soon. She would miss the unimportant and dismissive date that awaited her at the end of the path. He would understand though, she was caught in the rain. He would not look for her in the storm though. No, none of her bedtime companions cared for her in that type of manner to even bother. The price of being a wild animal was clear, people only wanted you near enough to admire your beauty after that there was no need to care. If she could not be tamed then it was not worth the bother. Wild animals could find their own way.

"Yeah", she muttered. "And our way is straight through the mud."

She let a toothy grin take hold as she abandoned her position and walked back towards her dorm. She would have to wait for another day to find a playmate. A day less damp, and…wild. But even then she might not venture out to play. She did not find joy in it as she once had. Going out to hunt for a warm bed only when she needed release from the bigger things that threatened to tame her. As she made her journey she wondered if maybe the panther was out and about. But no…the panther was a sophisticated beast… and Kozue knew the panther liked the warmth of her den.

It's slick
Wet
Dark and lonely out
Heavy
And cold
But I wanna play
I wanna splash in the puddles
Throw around some mud
Get myself a little dirty
And maybe find something sweet
In the bitterness pouring from above

A quarter of the way to the home she shared with her twin a petite shadow caught Kozue's eye. Her ocean blue eyes wandered to the spot but could not make out the form that was there. It was puzzling, because she could not think of anyone who would dare venture this weather save her self. Only wild things dared this kind of weather, and there was only one left beside her self since the wolf had been defeated. She smirked; maybe the chairman wasn't really a wolf. Maybe he was more of a toppled king, but he had played like a wolf and Kozue like the comparison. She continued on her way from there. Ignoring the possibility of play now that she was completely soaked through with the rain. Curling up in her own bed seemed a delightful thing for once.

It was the lightening strike that made her stop. Now she had no choice but to find something to serve as shelter. A thunderclap loud enough to shake the earth to its very core soon followed that made her jump a little. Her eyes narrowed a bit and off the path she spied a marble gazebo. Her shapely legs cared her over to the decadent structure quickly. She sniffed as she eyed the lavish interior, hardly feeling the need in such a moment to question the school's strangely expensive excesses. Kozue wrung out her skirt and blouse as best as she could before lounging on a stone love seat that was covered in slightly damp cushions. Settling into comfort she noted the reappearance of the petite shadow lingering in the distance.

"So you were caught by it too", a sweetly cruel voice asked stepping from the darkness of the surrounding trees.

Kozue perked her eyebrow in something bordering on shock. Not so much because of who the girl was but because she suddenly remembered how much insects liked bleak weather.

"It appears that way", Kozue replied pulling herself upright. "Why are you out in this?" She motioned to the storm that was raging outside.

"I could ask you them same thing", was the curt reply. "I was going to meet someone." The answer felt insincere, an imaginary thing, a web to shield the truth.

"Funny…", she paused to smirk, "So was I."

Oh this is not wise
We aren't safe in such close quarters
I know it
I can feel it
We shouldn't be here
Not together
Not like this

She brushed back her damp violet hair with her tiny hands, and then she too did her best at wringing out her school skirt and blouse. It seemed miraculous but Kozue was quite sure the girl was not nearly as soaked as she was, as if the girl had just stepped out into the rain. The two sat in tempered silence for a bit. Blue eyes on violet, predators sizing each other up. Finally the quiet broke fueled by a sharp glint of lightening in the distance.

"So this person you were meeting", Kozue began politely. "Do I know them?"

"Possibly." A tiny answer, shallow at best. "And you? Who was on your dinner list tonight?"

"No one you'd know, Shiori."

The girl giggled at the sound of her name. "My this stupid."

"What?"

"This conversation. It's trying to be all the things we are not. So very polite and subdued when I know you're just a wild animal and you know that I'm-"

"A poisonous butterfly", Kozue interrupted. She tilted her head slightly as Shiori sank into the cushion next to her.

"See", her voice, her tone was so wonderfully inviting it was a wonder anyone trusted her at all. "We know all about each other." Violet eyes narrowed a bit as she looked over. "Except there's just one little thing I've always wondered."

"Oh? And what is that", Kozue asked cautiously. Her voice settling into a chill that she usually reserved for her brother.

Shiori grinned a bit, an expression that most took for sincerity. Kozue knew better though.

"I was wondering"; Shiori began. "What you intended to do with Juri?"

No more games little girl
Don't try and fool me
No more explanations
If you want to play
Don't be surprised with the bruises you are left with
Do not scoff at the marks I leave
I'll rip your wings
Pull back your strength
Yes, you'll soon find yourself very hurt

"Well", Shiori huffed, all too eager for a reply.

"Nothing."

"What?" The girl didn't trust the answer.

"I plan to do nothing with her. We have too much in common for me to make her an enemy", Kozue replied flatly, and to her own surprise…honestly. "Why should you care? I thought you saw the panther as disgusting? Are all those gossiping ninnies around campus are mistaken?"

Shiori sprang up from her seat in clear rage. "Juri is disgusting and so are you…the things you do…"She trailed off at the end making it unclear who the comment was really directed at. Angry violet eyes reflecting the wild of the storm.

"Well that was very convincing"; Kozue uttered under her breath though she was clearly heard. "So." She stood and sauntered over to the innocently cruel girl, slight smirk on her face. "What is it exactly that makes me disgusting?"

She placed a hand on the shorter girl's shoulder. Shiori shrugged it off quickly.

"I'm not like that", the girl defended. "So keep your distance from me", she whispered.

Kozue clicked her tongue and wandered back over to her seat. It was getting really late. She wondered what time it was and how much longer she would have to suffer the insect's presence. Looking over at the girl she felt a twinge of concern and sneered when she caught her self. The petty and cruel little thing didn't want or need the concern. Shiori was just a trifle, an insect that liked to think she was something deadly. Ocean blue eyes shut in sudden reflection as she recalled learning about tiny spiders that carried venom strong enough to kill a human within minutes. Perhaps, the insect was not one to be over looked so quickly.

"Do you think it'll ever stop", a tiny, sweet yet deadly voice asked absently.

"I'm not sure, but it's getting really late", Kozue remarked. "I've never known lightening storms to last so long."

Another bit of silence followed, cut into by a withering sigh. Ocean blues eyes watched the deadly butterfly carefully. The way the girl's eyes wandered out to the storm, waiting and wishing, hoping for something to come true. A loud burst of thunder made the girl jump and Kozue giggled. Took in the way Shiori's heart began to beat rapidly, and then finally settled back into its normal light rhythm.

"No wonder", she muttered.

Shiori perked at the sound. "No wonder what", she quietly hissed.

"Nothing. Not important, just my own private observation."

"No tell me. What?"

"You may find this disgusting", Kozue warned. "In fact I'm sure you will…but I can understand the attraction."

"What are you talking about?"

"Pretending to be naïve is an old trick and I know you aren't naïve. I'm talking about Juri", she quipped. "Watching you over there I can see why she wants you."

Shiori cringed, but it was hard to tell if it was the comment or the increasingly brighter bursts of lightening that made her do so. The violet-eyed girl backed away from the spot she was in, and crawled back over towards the stone love seat. She leaned back against once of the sides and shut her eyes. Kozue fought the natural instincts she had and just watched.

Pretty prey
Nothing better I think
Something sweet and polite
Something lovely to ruin
Like I've been ruined
To tarnish and stain
The way I was stained
Pretty prey that will
Bend
Cower
Blush
At my presence
Someone to mold into greatness
Oh but I know…
You just look pretty
Inside…we're the same
Inside you want as I do
You see what I see
And…you think me pretty

"I lied."

Kozue opened her eyes with a start. She was just beginning to drift into sleep. The continued patter of rain and brilliant flashes of light told her the storm was far from being over. She focused on the girl leaning against love seat.

"I'm sure it's no surprise to you, but I lie all the time", Shiori continued.

She cleared her throat and then softly replied, "Getting caught in your own webs are you?"

"Yes."

Was that a hint of regret in the girl's voice? It intrigued Kozue to no end.

"So you lie? I lie too. Everyone lies."

"But I lie in the worse way Kozue", Shiori offered politely. She looked at the ground.

"Oh?"

"I'm quite sure I love her."

"Oh!" Kozue shifted her position a bit to see the girl's face better.

"I can't let her know."

"Why? It's ridiculous to fight such emotions."

"She's moved past me. I can't have her. I'm far too cruel…and even if I had her I'd poison it all. Kill it like I kill everything."

But if I could just be broken
Just for a day
If I could just be the victim
If I could just be the shattered
Instead of the thing that does the breaking
Instead of the one who pushes
Just for a day
If someone would only remove my wings
Wouldn't that be sweet
Because it is sometimes destruction
That makes us complete

She waited a beat before she even dared, but it seemed silly to wait. And her instincts gave way, so she slid her hand over Shiori's shoulder.

The girl didn't even move she just whispered; "Please."

"Please what?" Her hand slid over to the base of the girl's neck. Finding tension there she brought over her other hand and began to lightly work it away.

"Please don't", Shiori pleaded, trying to shrug away, but failing. Slowly relaxing back into Kozue's pull. "Please…"

"You're confusing me… Maybe it's the slight age difference", Kozue whispered closely. "And I always listen to my elders so…advise me miss."

She waited for a reply but only received a slight mumbling followed by another, "Please."

Kozue tilted Shiori's head up took in the expression of need on the sweetly cruel girl's face, bent forward and stole the briefest of kisses.

"How wonderfully appropriate"; She whispered, blue eyes sparking with deepened interest. "Your taste is so bitter sweet."

There was little time to continue though as the storm suddenly ceased. Shiori sprang to her senses and practically sprinted away from wickedly safe haven of Kozue's touch. But the ocean-eyed girl wasn't about to let things end so simply. She ran after the petite girl. Her longer legs quickly placing her in front. Quickly she dragged Shiori to the ground.

"Just let me go", Shiori whimpered. "I… I can't bare it much longer."

"Oh no… little butterfly", Kozue whispered into the girl's ear. "I won't let you go until you tell me one thing."

"What?" She was nearly sobbing.

"Who were you really talking about back there?"

"I don-"

"No more lies. No more webs. Back when you said you loved her…to whom were you referring", her gaze peered deep into the girl. "Who are you afraid to poison Shiori? Who moved past you?" She felt her knees sliding slightly in the muddy grass, her weight accidentally and intentionally pushing into her captive.

"I-"

"Were you perhaps referring to Juri", Kozue offered up a possible answer. "But she moved past you long ago darling…." She was nose to nose with the girl. Felt the rapid pace of the insect's heart against her own. Kozue knew the answer, it crept under her skin the minute Shiori had slipped from the shadows. But she hated being played, and especially disliked being teased.

The cruel little butterfly didn't even struggle under her captor. She just shut her eyes and tried to make it all go away. But the constant feel of Kozue's weight made her aware that there was no escaping, no lying. All her webs where neatly destroyed, perfectly mangled and just the way she wanted them.

"I hate Juri", Shiori whispered. "Hate her so much you'll just never know. Why would I even pretend to love her now?"

"You seemed to like playing her friend before. I think that must be it", Kozue teased, though her tone remained icy. "You love Juri, how very ironic", she mocked.

"No."

"Then who?"

"You."

"Ah…but I don't believe you Shiori."

Kozue placed her lips on the girl beneath her, lightly, in waiting. Nearly over whelmed by the force in which the girl returned the sentiment. Deeply sweet, frighteningly cruel the way the girl took. Kozue pulled back and smiled.

"You offer up interesting evidence my sweet, but I think further proof is needed", her tone was light.

"I'll give you all the proof you need", Shiori replied, lifting her head to reclaim wild lips.

Softly
Whispers against your skin
Softly
I give in
Softly
I'll let you take
So softly
I know what you'll break
And under the crying sky
Beneath the drowning ocean
Against the slick ground
So softly
My heart will be found

She was beaming with her triumph. A wolfish grin lay plastered on her lips the entire day. A graceful hand breezed through topaz hair as she walked by one of the misplaced rows of columns at the academy, heart fluttering.

"I told you", a crisp and stoic voice called out.

Kozue stopped and glanced over at the panther who was leaning against a column, arms neatly draped over her stomach.

"I suppose you did", Kozue replied a little sadly, heart beating faster. "How did you ever figure it out?"

"Don't you know"; the panther replied with some concern. "There's nothing you can hide from the one that loves you."

"You aren't jealous are you?"

"Never", she whispered softly. "But you'd better not break her."

"Oh? Why not?" Kozue asked and stepped a little closer.

"Because then I'll have choice but to break you", she whispered. The stoic angel wrapped an arm around the girl's waist, and pulled her into a deep and passionate kiss.

Kozue broke the embrace and looked up into the hazel eyes she loved so well. Those wild eyes that matched her own at times. Eyes she couldn't help but fall into. "You'll always love her won't you?"

"Yes... But she'll always love you", was the soft reply.

"Beautifully tragic don't you think?"

"Yes."

Kozue sighed letting her head rest gently on the fencer's chest. "And I have no choice but pretend I'm still untamed.no choice because of you."

"No I suppose you don't." She stroked the girl's hair gently. "The three of together have no choice but to pretend. She will be cruel. You will be wild. I and will be unmoved." The auburn haired beauty brought her hand under the girl's chin, tilting her head up. Kissed her again, the ache of it making it deep and full of need.

"I love you, Juri", Kozue confessed as the embrace broke again. "I love you so much."

"I know." Juri pulled the girl to her as tight as she could, stifling her tears. " Gods...I know."

End…