Utena, Revolutionary Girl Fan Fiction ❯ Swords n' Roses ❯ Swords n' Roses: Prologue ( Prologue )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

An emergency seitokai meeting is called and Utena and Juri try to get there first so they don't have to have to suffer the consequences of being tardy. What follows is utter chaos and a chibi dragon...

Anime/Manga: Utena, Revolutionary Girl Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 10.23.2001 | Pages: 4 | Words: 2.0K | Visits: 210 | Status: Work In Progress

Swords n' Roses

WARNING! RANMA'S MOST-NOSEBLEED-INDUCING FANFIC AHEAD! READ AT YOUR
OWN RISK! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

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Going ahead, eh? Suit yourself. Don't say I didn't warn you. It's your
funeral. Have a nice read, sucker.

^_^

Rating: R

Warnings: unbelievable OOC, bribery, implied incest, mind fucking (not
literally like in Scary Movie), heavy chasers, heavy alcohol, Utena
gets wasted, Utena says some things that should've never come out of
her mouth, Krispey Kremes, spoilers, strip poker, Miki gets one too
many nosebleeds, Tsuwabuki blackmails Utena, very dirty words, Anthy
gets violent, Utena gets violent, Shiori gets violent, Wakaba gets
violent, Nanami gets violent, Nanami's flunkies get violent, Kanae
gets violent, Kozue gets violent, Chu-Chu duels with kitchen forks,
Juri gets more than her daily dose of violence, shameless plugs, too
much ecchi for this fic and much, much, MUCH more ::grins evilly::

Author's Notes: Here you have it! My first fanfic posted on Media
Miner that hasn't been posted on fanfiction.net! Hope ya like! And for
the record, Mitsukai (you'll see her in chapter 2) is Mitsukai-hime at
fanfiction.net. She also happens to be one of my best friends and
classmates!

Disclaimer: The only rights I own are the rights to the Auto-Fic
Machine(TM), which I created so I would have it write the story for me
when I'm away. Don't be surprised if it breaks down a lot. You'll be
able to tell when it does. I also used the movie characters (except
Kozue is wearing clothes and Nanami is human), but it's set on the
Ohtori campus during the TV series.

"So if 1 x 2 = Y A O I, then that means 1 x R has no solution, while 3
x 4 = S H O N E N - A I. 13 x 5 = A N G S T...[1]" Anthy was
positively bored. She didn't know how much more of this torture she
could live through. She could stand Home Ec., she could stand Art, but
Algebra drove her batshit. She started to draw one of her flipbook
pics on the corner of her book she'd started a few days ago, when
Utena gave her the eye. She grinned sheepishly and turned back to the
board. It was coming out really well too. It was of Utena sitting in
class, the air duct above her head snapping open, a little dragon
dropping out, landing on her chest, and Utena punching it into the
ground. The little chimes that were played over the P.A. system
reached Utena and Anthy's ears as they were paged.

"Will the seitokai please report for an emergency meeting? I repeat,
will the seitokai please report for an emergency meeting? Thank you."
Anthy grabbed her notebook and pencil, determined to finish her
drawing. Utena wasn't a member of the seitokai, but since she was the
Champion Duelist, she felt it was right to accompany Anthy. Okay, it
was a bunch of bullshit. She knew exactly why the meeting was being
held and she knew that if she was late, she'd suffer the consequences.
They left the room and walked down the hallway as fast as the hall
monitors would let them go. The door to English 301 slammed open and
Juri walked at an even faster pace. Utena scowled and walked faster.
She soon caught up with Juri and the two were neck and neck.
Occasionally they glanced at each other, glared, snarled, and tried to
walk faster. They reached the glass doors, pushed them open, and that
was when the competition began.

"TENJO UTENA! KAKUGO!" Juri pulled her sword out of the hiding spot in
her pants and charged. Utena, just as fast as Juri, grabbed Anthy,
kissed her, pulled out the Dios no Ken, transformed, and ran towards
her. A duel commenced between the two while Anthy casually walked down
the pathway to the tower in her dress.

"YOU'LL NEVER GET THERE FIRST YOU PSYCHO-BITCH!" Utena screamed,
trying to slash at Juri, and got nothing but air.

"YOU'RE ALL TALK, TENJO!" Juri snapped, whacking her wrist into the
back of Utena's hips. Utena collapsed while Juri ran faster towards
the tower. Anthy was already ahead of her by meters. Utena growled and
hit the proper pressure point to get her legs working again. She got
to her feet and ran after the cackling curly fry head.

"MACHINASAI!" She screamed. She ran up close enough to Juri and
occasionally they exchanged hits, but what they mainly did was RUN!
Anthy walked up to the tower, through the doors, and pressed the
elevator button. Juri reached her just as the doors opened, pushed
Anthy in, jumped through the closing doors, and made a childish face
at Utena as the doors shut. Utena cursed viciously and ran up the
stairs on the side. She ran faster as the elevator ascended and
reached the top when it did.

The door opened and Juri ran out, her hair a bit of a mess and her
jacket was rumpled. Anthy came staggering out, her hair was soaked
with sweat, the crown was falling off her head, the top of her dress
was almost ripped off, and she looked surprised, dizzy, but mainly
confused.

"Screw the power to revolutionize the world. What we need is the power
to keep Juri 20 meters from every female on campus." Juri and Utena
ran through the door together and the first one who got through...was
neither. They both got stuck. Each tried to shove each other out.

"Christ! You training to be a sumo wrestler, Tenjo?" Juri said,
shoving Utena into the doorframe. Utena pushed back just as hard,
"maybe you should lay off the cuCUMbers, whore!"

"Fuck you!"

"Coming from you, I'm not surprised!" A cat fight commenced as the two
pulled each other's hair, bit, scratched, hissed, kicked, punched, and
beat the living shit out of each other, if they had any left. Anthy
almost tripped over the two as she came in, but she made it in safely.

After a few minutes, the two were exhausted and it looked like they'd
been fucking instead of fighting. They crawled through the doorway,
completely out of breath and ready to pass out. Touga looked up from
his book with raised eyebrows.

"I was wondering when you two would give it up. Don't worry, you're
not last."

"Eh?" The two questioned. They looked at each other, back at Touga,
then back each other, and then back at Touga, "na...nani?" Miki came
staggering into the room, gasping for air.

"Am I...late?" he asked, stepping on the two girls. Akio walked into
the room via the balcony, red leather pants and all. He smirked evilly
at the poor clueless bishie. He dumped a bunch of cleaning supplies
into Miki's arms, which included a vacuum cleaner, bucket, garden
hose, Lysol, new air freshener, and pretty much anything else that you
needed if you were going to wash the Akio Car, which is exactly what
Lucifer himself had in mind.

"Don't skimp on the car wax and use Castrol GTX! None of that Quaker
State crap!" Miki got pendulum tears [2] and was about to walk out of
the room when he heard a blood-curdling scream. Anthy was screeching
about something on her chest, and it wasn't her piping. Something, or
in this case, someone was clamped onto Anthy's upper torso and had its
head buried in her chest. Saionji got up and yanked the thing off.
This time, Anthy's top was ripped completely off and she hastily
de-transformed into her school uniform. Saionji stared at the thing
that Anthy had been bellowing about like Nanami in cow mode.

"A...a..."

"Ryu?" Touga asked, staring at the SD dragon. He had huge feet (think
Quincy from Foxtrot), a long tail, claws, spikes running along his
back, and if you looked really hard, he kinda looked like Happosai in
red scales. For that matter, he acted like him too. He had part of
Anthy's dress in his mouth since he was ripped off. He chewed on the
white and red fabric until he had swallowed it, and sucked her piping
into his mouth like spaghetti. He scrambled over to Nanami and looked
up at her with his huge kawaii and super-deformed eyes. Nanami
stupidly bent down and smiled.

"Oh! You're so kawa-"

"NANAMI-SAN!" he squealed.

"UUUAAAAA!!!!" Nanami screamed in turn as the dragon leapt onto her
chest and squeezed her breasts. Nanami ran around the seitokai room,
yelping for someone to get it off of her. Touga casually grabbed the
dragon's tail to try and yank it off, but because Nanami was running
so fast, he started to get dragged along.

"Touga!" Saionji and Utena screamed. Saionji ran after the two and
grabbed Touga around the waist, yanking him to his feet.

"Oo, that feels kinda-" Saionji whacked Touga over the head before he
could finish his thought.

"Not now!" Utena grabbed him around the waist and started to tug
Saionji who tugged Touga, who dug his heels into the ground, creating
magnificent skid marks on the marble floor. He yanked on the dragon as
hard as he could, but the little devil wasn't going to be letting go
of his catch anytime soon. Nanami held onto one of the columns as the
dragon was dragged down her jacket, past her shorts, and caused him to
wrap his arms around her ankles. Anthy grabbed Utena around the waist
as well. Miki dropped the cleaning supplies and grabbed Anthy by the
waist, trying to help out. Even Akio joined in the tug of war.

They were equally matched, with the stubbornness of Nanami and the
dragon combined with everyone else's strength, it proved to do no
good. That was when Juri got to her feet, dusted herself off, rolled
her sleeves up, cracked her knuckles, grabbed Akio around the waist,
and PULLED! It only took one jerk for her to yank everybody, including
the dragon, off of Nanami. Everyone flew over Juri's head and either:

a. crashed into the opposing wall and fell to the ground
b. crashed into the opposing wall and got their head stuck in it
c. crashed through the opposing wall, flew through the air, slammed
into Nemuro Memorial Hall, and caused another fire.

Fortunately, only a and b were the correct answers. Utena, Anthy,
Miki, and Nanami stood up, brushing themselves off. Using whatever
strength they had left, they pulled out Touga, Saionji, and the dragon
that'd gotten their heads stuck. Utena grabbed the demon by the neck
and slammed him into an intact part of the wall.

"Okay! What are you, what are you doing here, and-"

"SAIONJI!" everyone's attention was directed towards the balcony. The
dragon wormed his way out of Utena's grasp, galloped over to the girl,
used his claws to climb up her, and parked himself on her shoulder.
She had short brown hair and a baseball cap with the face of a
familiar panda bear on it. She was wearing a light blue turtleneck
tanktop under her black trench coat. Her pants were silver and shiny
cargo skater pants [3]. Her black boots laced up to her knees, but you
couldn't see under the silver pants.

"Who are you? Only members of the seitokai are allowed here!" Akio
said, trying to sound threatening but his eyes were fixated on her
pants. They were pretty spiffy.

"Well?" Utena demanded. The girl smiled and closed her eyes, "ore wa
Saionji-sama no..." she opened her eyes and jabbed her finger at
Saionji, "IINAZUKE! [4]" There was a moment of deadly silence, before
Saionji broke it with a THUD as he passed out from shock. The little
dragon held up a sign.

"Tsuzuku!"

[1] If you watch Gundam Wing and call yourself a fan and/or otaku and
you don't get the joke, you are SAD!

[2] An expression I use to describe those tears that hang from your
eyes and look like pendulums.

[3] Saw these at Hot Topic. I really wanted them!

[4] Translation: I'm Saionji-sama's fiancée. Yes, this is mocking that
Ranma story where Ranma disguises herself and pretends to be Ryoga's
fiancée.