Utena, Revolutionary Girl Fan Fiction ❯ The Path That Runs Around The Ends Of The World ❯ Chapter 1
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: RhineGold By now, most of us know "The Qualifications of a Duelist", but what exactly happens to those who fail? (a story about both Mikage and Touga) (yaoi)
Title: The Path That Runs Around The Ends Of The World…
Category: angst, insanity, and yaoi.
Rating: …I'd say about an R.
Pairings: …well… The story is about Mikage… I guess you'll just have to read it…
Warnings: warnings for angst, insanity, and vague references to semi-non-consensual yaoi intercourse…
Spoilers: Completely spoils the Kurobara Saga (Black Rose Saga), and obviously the Student Council Saga (the first season).
Disclaimer: I don't own these pretty boys… I would like to, though…. Except maybe Akio… He's just too creepy-sexy… Even for me…
Author's Notes: I suddenly felt the inexplicable urge to write an Utena fic, after becoming re-obsessed with the Kurobara Saga, and it's beautiful, tragic `villain', Souji Mikage. Deal with it.
Guil: There were always questions. To exchange one set for another is no great matter.
Ros: Answers, yes. There were answers to everything.
Guil: You've forgotten.
Ros (flaring): I haven't forgotten --- how I used to remember my own name --- and yours, oh yes! There
were answers everywhere you looked. There was no question about it --- people knew who I was and if they didn't they asked and I told them.
Guil: You did the trouble is, each of them is… plausible, without being instinctive. All your life you live so
close to the truth, it becomes a permanent blur in the corner of your eye, and when something nudges it into outline it is like being ambushed by a grotesque. A man standing in his saddle in the half-lit half-alive dawn banged on the shutters and called two names. He was just a hat and a cloak levitating in the grey plume of his own breath, but when he called, we came. That much is certain ----- we came.
He stumbled into the nearby greenhouse, one hand clutching at his stomach. The other was fisted in his hair. "…" His breath came quickly, and he felt dangerously close to hyperventilating.
The boy… Looked so familiar… But who… Who…?
//"I'm sorry, Souji-kun, but I don't think I will be able to join your seminary…"//
Seminar?
PLEASE BEGIN
"Who am I?!" He cried. He knew his name --- Souji Mikage --- his age --- 16?! --- His position?!
PLEASE BEGIN
He looked around wildly, for the source of the voice. In his stumbling, he fell against a table of roses, clutching his hands.
Roses?
"I remember roses…"
The roses made a sound… In the back of his mind… Almost like…
He watched his blood drip against a petal. Red on red, but one so dark, it seemed almost black in comparison…
…Black…
Black roses?
The blood dripped onto the ring he wore.
White ring.
Black roses.
The buzzing sound was overpowering him.
DEEPER. GO DEEPER
He cried out, bloody hands fisting in his pale hair.
He moaned softly when light fingers danced across his face. "…Mamiya…" He whispered, shifting to bury his face in that rose-scented warmth.
He froze when he recognized the scent, not of roses, but of cinnamon, and felt hands on his back, too large, and too strong…. Struggling, his eyes flew open.
Blood in front of him!
He fought wildly, but was held in place firmly.
Not blood!… Waves of silk…
As abruptly as his struggles had begun, they ceased.
"…Who… Who are you?" He whispered. His throat hurt, as though he had spent a lifetime screaming. Which, of course, he had…
The young man smiled slightly. It had been far too long since someone had failed to recognize him…
"Wait…" Mikage pressed one thin wrist to his forehead. "…I know you…"
// A young man, surrounded by adoring crowds, his teeth catching the light in an unnatural way…//
Jealousy.
Resentment.
A rose…
Red…
…And Black…
"…Student Council…" He choked out, as his thoughts eluded him once more.
// "…without ever truly being born…" //
// "…without ever truly being born…" //
// "Sempai, why did you call her?" //
// "…without…" //
// "You seem like you're having fun…" //
// "…ever…" //
// "You did that on purpose!" //
// "…my Rose Signet…" //
// "…A tear?" //
// "Smash the world's shell!" //
"To Bring The World Revolution!" He screeched, struggling again, as his muddled memories swirled like a tempest.
The Student Council President held him firmly, pinning his arms at his sides, until he stilled again. "Hey! I don't care who you are! You just can't keep doing that!" He snapped.
"…You know me?"
"…" Touga looked at him, perplexed, as he released him. "…You're the boy who runs the seminar."
"…Seminar?"
PLEASE BEGIN
"Yes… Soushi…?"
"Mikage. My name is… Mi-Ka-Ge…" He whispered. Looking up, he wondered, "Where are we?"
"…We are forgotten." Touga answered, simply.
"Again? …Why?"
"We failed."
"To bring the World Revolution?"
"No. Merely to crack the Earth's Shell."
"…I… Drew a sword… No… It was drawn… From me…"
"Yeah," Touga winced, slightly. "Me, too."
"…I fought… The Engaged… With my sword… and…"
"You lost." He supplied, helpfully.
"…I lost… To a girl… Who is… Not who she is… " He laughed, sharply. "She was… me…"
"Are you always this crazy, or should I be concerned?" Touga murmured close to his ear.
"Stop that!" He snapped absently, twining fingers in his hair. "…I don't know… Who I am…"
"Let me show you." Touga purred rolling over on top of him.
"Stop that!!" Mikage cried, struggling against him. "I need to think!"
"Obviously the strain becomes too much for you. You should take a break."
Touga lay on his side, fingers trailing lazily through Mikage's soft pink hair. It spread around him in a strange halo as he stared up at the ceiling.
"Who is Mamiya?" Touga murmured.
"…He died."
"Do you remember him?"
"…He was…"
// "Sempai…" //
// "Sempai…" //
// "Sempai, why did you call her?" //
"He was… The Rose Bride."
Touga's fingers involuntarily closed in a tight fist. Mikage hissed, sliding towards him in order to alleviate the sudden pressure on his scalp. "Himemiya Anthy is the Rose Bride." He said, coldly.
"The Rose Bride is a living corpse."
Touga wrenched his hair cruelly, leaning over him again. "What is wrong with you?! Why do you continue spouting nonsense?!"
"…I don't…"
"Know who you are. I do. You used me, and the rest of the Student Council. You used Utena. And someone used you."
"…I wasn't supposed to care…"
"About what?"
"Eternity."
"And do you?"
"It's… More than that…"
"How so?" He demanded, not releasing him.
"…I am eternal… Or… I was."
"WHAT?!"
DEEPER. GO DEEPER
Gears turned in his head… like… an elevator?… Something fluttered behind Touga's head, as he stared down at the other boy, pinned beneath him.
"…I was eternal…" Mikage whispered. "Because…"
// "Your eyes are like those people who can't help wanting…" //
"Because…"
// "What nonsense are you talking about?" //
"…Because I wasn't real." He realized finally. He laughed again, sporadically. "…eternity can't really exist, can it?"
Touga shook him roughly. "IT HAS TO!!"
"…Why…?…"
"Because…" Blue eyes slid away from magenta, and the hands left him, to plant themselves on either side of his shoulders. Sighing deeply, Touga rested his head against the other boy's chest, reveling in the sound of Mikage's heartbeat.
…And Mikage began to comprehend. "You saw him." He whispered, fingers grazing that sharp chin. It was not a question.
Touga sat up, drawing away from that gentle touch. Mikage sat up, too, trailing fingers lightly across his arm. "…he saved me…" The redhead breathed.
"He wasn't real." Mikage assured him firmly.
Snarling, Touga struck him, face contorting with rage. Mikage cried out as he slipped off the bed into the cold floor. He lay there, on his side, with one arm bent awkwardly beneath him. The other cupped his reddened, already bruised face.
"IT WAS REAL!!!" Touga screamed. He stood over the motionless boy like a demented angel of hell, trembling in wrath and fury.
Mikage did not move, but a slight smile played across his blood-less lips. "Then show me something eternal…"
Rough hands, callused by years of swordplay, pulled at his clothing. …So unlike the soft, gentle hands of long ago… Different, still, than the powerful, flawless hands that had held him earlier.
Mikage closed his eyes as Touga began.
"…It was real… It had to be real… I have been a duelist since before the duels began… When I was a child, he came to me, and he gave the ring to me! … I have been the End of the World's most constant contact… I have been the one to oversee the duels that are to bring us closer to Revolution! It is my duty! My right! My destiny!!"
Mikage cried out sharply, but Touga ignored him. He was too far-gone in his own raging storm of thoughts.
DEEPER. GO DEEPER
"She beat me… I lost… How can I lose to this girl?! How can she be a duelist?! She's never been in contact with the End of the World!! How can she defeat me?! How could he have offered her Eternity, when he had already promised it to me?!"
He groaned quietly, interrupting his own outbursts. He felt the other boy tense in response. Sharp fingernails clawed a fiery path down his back.
"…And as for you… You have outwitted me at my own game… How is it that I can lose at a game of my own devising? … You used my power, and the power of the Student Council… And I was powerless to stop you. I lost again…"
Mikage was gasping now, making soft sobbing noises, as he buried his face in the ocean of Touga's hair. It fell around them like a curtain, sealing them in a private womb of confession. Touga shifted his weight, deliberately. This time, Mikage whimpered. But he did not cry. The other boy drove forward, too quickly and too sharply, wishing he would.
"…I cannot be defeated…" He whispered kissing lightly at the smaller boy's face. "…I was created to succeed… Like the rest of this Academy… The very Ends of the World groomed me for Eternity,… It is all in my nature… I cannot…I cannot…"
"…What… about… eternity…?" Mikage asked, voice low, through gritted teeth.
"…Eternity is when I have succeeded."
"At what?"
"Everything."
"…………And if you fail?"
"I cannot fail. …It is not in my nature…"
"……She defeated you…"
"No. To win the Castle That Is Said To Hold Eternity, I do not have to win every duel…"
Lips met in a desperate prayer, and Touga held him firmly. Mikage writhed, but he did not struggle.
"…I just have to win the last one."
I UNDERSTAND
SEVEN:
"…Why…?…" Mikage whispered, rolling over, onto his stomach.
Touga paused where he stood, resting one hand casually on the foot of the bed.
"…It is destiny…"
"…I Understand…" Mikage breathed.
// "You're going to lose now." //
It could never have worked.
Dead roses cannot overrun the living.
Blood cannot flow from a corpse.
A memory cannot reveal the future, only the past…
…And a gentle, confused boy cannot take the place of a strong and capricious one…
THE PATH YOU MUST TAKE HAS BEEN PREPARED FOR YOU
…And he had known it all along….
It had been an intentional loss, though the intentions had not been his own.
Computer-man.
A Rose Signet.
Hope.
Loss.
Tragedy.
Puppet-man.
A Black Crescent.
Misdirection.
Manipulation.
…Ghosts…
He stared at the young President of the Student Council, who stood before something.
…He could have sworn the door had not been there a moment ago…
The doorknob was a Red Rose.
"…Mikage…"
"…Mikage is not real…" He whispered.
"Then what is?"
"…Something… Eternal."
The winged creature fluttered past Touga's face, tangling momentarily in blood-red strands.
It was not a butterfly.
…Only a moth.
"Go, now…" He whispered, voice hoarse, body numb. "The Path That You Must Take Has Been Prepared For You…"
Touga's fingers hesitated on the knob.
"…Do you hear that…?"
"It's the Sound That Runs…" He began.
But the President of the Student Council had stepped through the door.
When it closed firmly behind him…
The Rose was Black.
// "Rose blooming at the End of the World… To me…" //
"…You Have No Choice But To Revolutionize The World…"
Startled, his hand shot out automatically to lift the receiver. He pushed his glasses up on his nose, wondering how he had ever been able to see clearly without them…
"You Understand." The voice on the other end said, softly. When he did not answer, the man continued. "…The Path Before You Has NOT Been Prepared… You Graduate Now."
"…And what is to become of me?"
The voice was now directly behind him, as strong hands closed over his wrists. The phone clattered to the floor, dead, useless, forgotten… Lips teased against his cheek, but no breath stirred the soft, fine hairs falling there.
"The same thing that happens to all who come here, seeking what cannot be sought…"
"Eternity."
"…The shell can be cracked, Mikage, but not shattered,"
"That's Revolution."
"Is it?"
"…I can't ever ask the proper question, can I?" …But in that instant, Mikage knew that he had.
"…Would you like to see the End of the World?"
"No."
The man chuckled, almost coldly. "And that is why you shall."
This story is crazy-weird. Inspired by the works of !SuperCat, and the fact that the only people in the world (besides me) who even like Mikage are not yaoi writers.
This obviously takes place between the Utena/Mikage duel, and the phone conversation between Akio and Nemuro, which I butchered horribly, out of my inability to remember it clearly.
The opening quote is obviously from the play "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead…", by Tom Stoppard. The symbolism here should become apparent after reading the story. Rosencrantz fears he is going mad, because he cannot remember a single second of his life before he was summoned to the aid of the mad Prince Hamlet. Guildenstern tries to placate him by assuring him that it is perfectly normal to be so afflicted, because that is the way life works. …As for the sake of the story, Rosencrantz is Mikage, Guildenstern is Touga, and the messenger is the End of the World. But who is Hamlet? ::hmmm::
//"I'm sorry, Souji-kun, but I don't think I will be able to join your seminary…"// This line comes from on of the very first episodes of the Kurobara Saga. Miki politely declines Mikage's invitation to join his Seminar, and …whatever else… Mikage was offering. ::waggles eyebrows::
The bold lines, in all capital letters are the dialogues from the Seminary's Confessional Elevator.
Please note that it appears the Voice is only in Mikage's head, and so, he is the only one who is aware of it. Or *is* he?
There is an obvious play on the Seminar here.
Note: His form says `Grade 12', but Souji Mikage is also supposed to have skipped at least one grade, according to that one professor who was hitting on him. My Internet source tells me that Touga is also in Grade 12, and is 18 year old. Based on this, I made `Mikage' (Souji, not Nemuro) 16.
And how come, if they're in the same grade, is Mikage's uniform so freakishly different from everyone else's? He looks like he's been visiting Utena's tailor. (which, is, I believe, Anthy, and thus, further evidence as to Mamiya's true existence).
And let's talk about Utena's uniform, shall we? She's `the girl who wears a boy's uniform'. Only… It *isn't* a boy's uniform at all! The boys in Utena's grade wear those little dorky seagreen numbers, much like Tsuwabaki… But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe by `uniform', Otohori Academy means `any old thing that's jacket-like and had buttons or tassels'… And if so, then *what* is that crazy teacher so worked up about?
The butterfly and the cocoon in the Mikage Seminar represent the Shell-Theory, and the Revolution, much like the Student Council's Chick/Egg Speech. However, the devil lies here in the details. All chicks will try to free themselves from their shell, in order to be born. They can't help it. It is the key part of their psychological make-up. A chick can't *not* break free from it's shell, or at least, die trying. However, it is only the very exceptional caterpillar that becomes a butterfly. The Seminar believes that Revolution is a special gift, meant for a select few with superior mental strength, not just anyone who happens to make it out of something they were born with.
"The Lord of the Flies was diagnosed as sound" is a line from the Tori Amos song "Pandora's Aquarium"…
If you will recall, at this point in the show, Touga is moping around his room, listening to screechy, shitty phonograph records. In this story, however, both he and Mikage are trapped in a sort of mental-limbo-type-thing, which, arguably, the whole world as they know it is, anyway.
// "…without ever truly being born…" // is obviously from the Student Council Speech. Which is given while in an ELEVATOR. *GASP* Oh, the conspiracy!! ::faints:;
::recovers:: // "Sempai, why did you call her?" // Mamiya's demand, after Utena beats the shit out of Mikage, and leaves him crying in his own elevator.
// "…A tear?" // and // "You seem like you're having fun…" // Mikage starts to laugh uncontrollably, after discovering he *can* cry. Mamiya responds disdainfully.
// "You did that on purpose!" // Mikage's surprised exclamation after he realizes he has been skillfully manipulated by the little boy he assumed he controlled.
// "…my Rose Signet…" // Mikage realization that Utena might have killed him, had she not discovered his Rose Signet, and challenged him to a duel, instead.
Note: The Mikage Duel is only the second duel Utena ever issued a challenge for. The other one was the second Touga Duel. That's important.
Okay, my biggest problem in the Kurobara Saga is this: The Black Rose Duelists have to draw on their greatest desire in order to duel. This means they draw the `Spirit Swords' (no, not like in Yu-Yu-Hakusho) from those who are the focal point of their quests. That's why Utena draws the Sword of Dios from the Rose Bride. Okay. Wakaba's sword came from Saionji. Shiori's sword from Juri, Kozue's from Miki, Tsuwabaki's from Nanami, and Keiko's from Touga, which he refers to in this story. BUT WHERE DO MIKAGE AND THE OTOHORI WOMAN GET *THEIR* SWORDS FROM? …I have a theory on her (who's name I cannot remember. Is it Kannae? No… Um…), but this is about Mikage's sword. The obvious answer is that he drew it from Mamiya, but that doesn't pan out because of several important factors.
As we all know, Mamiya is a figment of Mikage's imagination.
And technically, Mikage is a figment of Nemuro's imagination.
And, also, technically, Nemuro's continued existence is a figment of Akio's imagination…
…Don't even get me started on what I think Akio is a figment of…
So, in this story, I say that Mamiya drew the sword from Mikage himself, and gave it to him to duel with. And that may explain why he was flailing around and screaming like a dying thing during his duel. Obviously, having an imaginary sword pulled out of your imaginary chest by your imaginary shoot-con lover can really mess a guy up. Or something.
Oh, and did you know that Mamiya is really Anthy? …But more on that, later…
And Mikage *is* Utena. Okay, not really, but they are counterparts, and he comes off as something like a pale shadow of her existence. Or a Pre-Shadow, as he *is* older than she. Would that make him a For-Shadow? Awr-wrar-wrar!
Note the obvious time-elapse between Touga pinning Mikage to the bed (again!), and him lying beside him, playing with his hair. What do *YOU* think happened? ::waggled eyebrows again::
"The Rose Bride is a living corpse." Comes from the Utena Movie, obviously.
And, yeah, for a while, Mikage *was* pretty eternal. Sort of. And he was always pretty. Awr-wrar-wrar! ::dodges pointy objects::
// "Your eyes are like those people who can't help wanting…" // Mikage's little jab at Utena, shortly before she pummels the snot out of him.
// "What nonsense are you talking about?" // Utena's angry response to more of his (nail on the head!) psychobabble during their duel.
"Eternity can't really exist, can it?" What the little girl asked a young Touga and Kyochii in Episode Nine's flashback.
I can't even begin to explain Touga and the Prince. I guess you'll just have to watch the movie if you don't get it. ::sniffles a little:: ::is never able to eat cabbages again::
Do they even *grow* cabbages in Japan?
Is Utena even *set* in Japan?
…Mikage's response to getting smacked sort of reminds me of Anthy's. He just lies there and looks… resigned. But I guess that makes sense, considering…
"Then show me something eternal…" Mikage throws young Touga's curt response to Kyochii back in his face.
// "You're going to lose now." // In the episode "The Qualifications of a Duelist", something really fish happens in the State of Everywhere. At the end of Mikage's duel with Utena, he hears Mamiya say this line. However, we, the audience, clearly see ANTHY say it out loud. Okay, maybe Mikage's just crazy, right? Fine. Later, after he rings off the line with Nemuro, Akio turns to MAMIYA, who is standing on his little balcony-deal. They talk about how Mamiya was never real, and neither was the boy called Mikage, for the most part. And Akio asks MAMIYA if he feels sorry for Mikage. When there is no reply, the `camera' pans back to MAMIYA, and *SHOCK!*, he has become ANTHY!!!
It has also been pointed out to me that each and every time we see/hear Mamiya, Anthy is either off-screen, or sleeping. ….BA-DAAAAAAM!!
…And a gentle, confused boy cannot take the place of a strong and capricious one… Mikage was organizing the duels. He was pushing Utena, to force her hand, and to keep bringing them yet another series of steps closer to the Duel Named Revolution. Remember who else used to do that? Yeah, that's right. Touga. Mikage realizes he cannot do what Touga has been handcrafted to do any longer.
And he gives up. He realizes he no longer contains the power possible to Bring the World to Revolution (if, indeed, he ever did). Does he think Touga does? Of course not. But he sees now that Touga must provide Utena with the emotional fodder SHE needs to smash the world's cocoon.
And that is why his butterfly was never really a butterfly. …Just a moth.
// "Rose blooming at the End of the World… To me…" // Said with feverish determination as he takes hold of the last of the Black Roses from Mamiya. Said here with a sort of saddened acceptance.
The phone is the one Touga is seen with, both on the show, and in the movie.
"You Understand. The Path Before You Has NOT Been Prepared… You Graduate Now." Akio's farewell to Nemuro, via the phone.
Shi = Death; Sekai = World; Henkaku = Revolution.
Does Mikage die? CAN Mikage die? …How do you kill what maybe never could have existed in the first place? All I know is, flowers that have already died full-bloom can't wilt. They only fade with time…
…A box of cookies if you can tell me what the ending tells us about The End of the World, and The Lord of the Flies, etc…
