Utena, Revolutionary Girl Fan Fiction ❯ The Touga Version ❯ The Touga version ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Utena. Ikuhara and Be-Papas do. I don't own the Vows and Honor series. Mercedes Lackey does.

(Enter Touga in a flashy medieval costume. He starts to strum a mandolin and sing)

Touga: The prince and the witch rode into Ohtori. For they had heard of evil there and meant to set the people free. A fallen prince. A devil. Cruel and full of vice.

Utena: Hey barkeep shut that minstrel up and bring some more shaved ice. And bring some more shaved ice.

Touga: The prince and the witch went searching high low.

Utena: That isn't true I tell you, and I think that I should know.

Touga: They meant to find the devil and should it come to blows. They'd do battle and take his rose. And take his rose.

Utena: (Mutters) Oh like hell.

Touga: They searched through all the grounds to challenge him to a duel.

Utena: Like hell what we were doing was trying to graduate school.

Touga: They found him in the planetarium and challenged him to spar.

Utena: We found him the tower, making out with his car. Making out with his car.

Touga: The fallen prince taunted them with vile words and base.

Utena: He tripped ChuChu's banana peel then glued his lips on to my face.

Touga: The prince was too smart for him. She didn't let herself slouch.

Utena: I pushed. He cursed. I yelled, and then he tripped over the couch. He tripped over the couch.

Touga: With but a single blow the prince put him in his place.

Utena: About the time he turned around I slapped him in the face.

Touga: And in a breath the deed was done. The devil prince lay dead.

Utena: I didn't mean for him to fall out the window and hit his head. To fall and hit his head.

Touga: His fiancé he had lied to soon arrived upon the scene. And with a couple signatures she was the new assistant dean.

Utena: I went to find his bride to be, and to the girl confessed: Your husband wasn't much before, but now he's rather less. But now he's rather less

Utena: "He was a slutty bastard and I'll be better off." She said "And though I can't admit I'm not sorry that he's dead. But still you must admit it's a rather fine mess. I'll say it was an accident if you'll just leave the campus. If you just leave the campus."

Touga: In triumph out of Ohtori the partners left their homework and tests. For they had to go rescue a damsel in distress. The enemy of dragons and the answer to every princesses' prayer.

Utena: Don't you believe a word of it. I know cause I was there.