Vampire Knight Fan Fiction ❯ Sharing Secrets and Sharing More ❯ Understanding ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Vampire Knight OR Yuuki OR Zero (If I did, I give that boy a much needed hug and the black eyeliner required for him to transform himself into the true EMO that he is!)

A/N: This is 'Part 2' of the Gift!Fic for EnemytoSleep on LJ. She is one of my dearest and closest friends and there have been times that without the support she has so frequently and freely given me, I would have been lost.

She is a gift! Of a friend, and so I'm giving her the very SMALL repayment that I can - a gift! Of a Fic. It isn't nearly enough.

Link to part 1 : .

"Yuuki" Zero whispered in the dark, his forehead still pressed to hers. He tilted his face downward and pushed his lips to hers. Making room for their noses both instinctually tilted to the side and when Zero's warm wet tongue traced her lip, Yuuki parted slightly and felt the brush of his tongue against the tip of her own.

Slowly, experimentally, she opened wider and felt his tongue fill her mouth while she sucked very lightly, welcoming him in. He tasted good. Earthy and faintly of toothpaste and Yuuki hoped her mouth wash from earlier was still lingering on her own breath.

Zero seemed to make no complaints though, only moving his mouth against hers and making the kiss deeper and deeper. He was tasting her, and finally, she moved her tongue into his mouth as well, fully joining them and truly kissing him back.

When they finally parted for air, Zero's eyes were on her own and he looked away, embarrassed, but… he had to know… had to make sure…

"Did I… I mean… did you…?"

Yuuki's cheeks flamed and she closed her eyes at his intimate inquiry, but a faint smile touched her lips as she nodded her head vigorously up and down, mumbling an 'um-hm."

When she finally found the courage to open her eyes she was greeted with a wide, wild, and triumphant smile on Zero's usually so dour face. "Really?" He sounded so incredibly… proud… that even if she were annoyed at having to repeat the embarrassing remark, she did.

"Yes." She breathed a whispered response, if only because, to see Zero truly smile was so incredibly rare that she wanted it to continue.

His grin grew slightly, if it were possible, and he nodded with true happiness in his eyes. There was nothing selfish in this, she realized. He was truly glad that he had been able to please her - despite his lack of knowledge and experience.

Yuuki realized then… she had… But… Zero hadn't… yet…

She'd heard from other girls and gossip that it could actually… hurt for boys if they didn't… finish.

But… what do I know? Maybe he did? How would I even know? He's still wearing his pants so if anything… came out… I…

Yuuki realized then how truly little she actually knew about such things. Feeling foolish, selfish, and somewhat stupid… she asked, "But… Zero… you didn't…"

"It's okay." He cut her off, abruptly. "I just wanted… I just wanted you to… I mean…" He began to blush and stammer. Finally giving up Zero whispered, "I just wanted you to. Just… touch you… feel you… see you… You… don't have to… do… anything… for me." Suddenly, he looked sad again, and Yuuki's heart clenched in her chest. "You already do…" he looked at his fresh bite mark and disgust marred his features briefly, before they hardened, then softened in defeat and shame. "You already do so much for me, Yuuki."

Yuuki reached up to grab Zero's face, making him look at her - not his bite mark on her neck. She brushed her thumbs over his ears and slid her hands so her fingers twined in the small soft hairs at the base of his neck, kneading lightly. The effect was for Zero to look even more forlorn, more sad.

That wasn't what she wanted. Yuuki hated to see him like that.

Not even giving herself time to think, time to hold back, or time to blush, Yuuki was characteristically impulsive when she yanked him down to her and thrust her face up - slamming their lips together in what she had meant to be a passionate kiss, but what turned out to be more awkward than anything.

For a moment.

Nearly instantly, he pulled back slightly and instead the kiss morphed from awkward to enveloping. Both soon became lost in each other once more and the tension bled slowly from both their bodies as they relaxed into each other, finally finding their way. Navigating this new territory together - the blind leading the blind - yet somehow finding the proper path.

This was so much like their lives outside this bedroom, when they faced the world as a team, two guardians sharing a secret from the other students, and a bond that none but they could understand. Blindly they stumbled along, trying to navigate the treacherous waters of Vampire/Human relations - alone and without much aide from outside sources.

Somehow they found their way. Protecting each other, looking out for one another and willing to do anything to keep the other from harm.

Loving each other - seemed the natural consequence, the next logical step in the evolution of their complicated, messy, and wonderful relationship.

Realization dawned on her in a way that it never had before and a feeling of rightness and wanting to become closer to this silver haired boy, her protector and friend, consumed her. I want to give him…

Her mind made up, Yuuki forcefully and gracelessly shoved him away - ending their kiss as abruptly as she'd started it.

"Zero… I want to…" Yuuki's cheeks flushed and her eyes grew wide and dark as she felt her body heat once more and she licked her memory at the feeling he'd given her earlier.

If just that felt so good, what would it feel like to…?

"Yuuki?" he questioned, when she didn't continue right away, and instead looked off to the side, smiling a small devious smile, seemingly lost in some unspeakable thought.

Heaving a heavy and determined sigh, her resolve steeled, Yuuki finally voiced what she'd decided only moments ago, "Zero… I want to… do…it. With you. I want to do it with you."

He started, obviously taken aback at such a direct (or not-so-direct, depending on how one views the popular and immature terminology of the chronologically challenged) statement.

"You want to… that? Now? With… me?"

Suddenly realizing that rejection was one of the possible outcomes of her statement, somehow never having considered that before she'd said it, Yuuki's face turned beet red. She shifted away, suddenly embarrassed beyond belief and highly uncomfortable. She wished the earth would swallow her up right now.

Stupid! Stupid selfish girl! What if he didn't want… he'd said… he'd said he'd only wanted… and then I had to go and push it! Stupid.

A physical feeling of something crushing her heart, clenching her insides, making it hard to breathe and tightening every muscle in her body welled up. There was no way to prevent her eyes from watering, but, perhaps if she didn't dare to breathe - she could stop any actual tears from falling. She closed her eyes and released a long slow and heavy breath, immediately drawing in an even longer slower one, only to push it out again to try and relieve the ache in the center of her chest before she tried to back-peddle.

"It's okay, never mind. I… I understand."

She tried to shift from under him then, finally realizing the burden of his weight upon her, but Zero didn't let her go. Instead he pinned her roughly to the bed.

"No." Was all he said.

Her eyes snapped open and she looked at him hovering above her. He seemed angry now.

"Zero… I'm sorry…" she whispered, tears starting to leak, despite her best intentions. Did he have to be so blunt and angry in his rejection? Well… this was Zero, and as she'd said before, 'Zero will always be Zero."

"No." He growled out, "You can't do that, Yuuki."

Now she was confused. Do what?

"What did I…?" she started to ask, but he cut her off.

"You can't offer me the thing I want most in the world and then just take the offer back like that! " He was getting loud. Yuuki was afraid the Chairman would wake up, but…

Did he just say…?

Suddenly she relaxed again, and tentatively looked into his eyes, "Shhhh! Calm down, you'll wake up the Chairman!"

"I can't stay calm!" He whispered more quietly this time, though still fiercely. As if to prove his point, he thrust his hips against her and held them there. The very hard, very large evidence that his state was anything but calm was once again pressed firmly to her center, and Yuuki couldn't help but press back against him, this time though - she held him in place by wrapping her legs around him. Now she felt even more stupid.

"I thought… I thought you meant you didn't want to… want… to with… me." She finished lamely.

He groaned when she rocked against him once more and bit his lip. He hadn't calmed down in the least, through this entire awkward conversation and he was starting to ache.

"Kami-sama, Yuuki… you are such a stupid little girl." He growled out, releasing her wrists from their pinned position beneath his long strong fingers and instead reaching down for the hem of her nightgown.

He paused for a moment to look back up at her, and when she raised her arms above her head like a child being undressed by a parent, he pulled himself off of her just enough to allow her to raise up so he could remove it. After a brief struggle, the nightgown getting stuck over head, and a few muttered curses she was finally bare beneath him, save for the lace boy-cut panties she was wearing.