Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ A Day at the Beach ❯ One-Shot

A Day at the Beach

"I'm bored," Van complained with a yawn. The young king of Fanelia was lounging on the couch, lazily watching Allen and Hitome, who were engaged in a full-blown make-out session.

"Yeah, me too," Allen concluded after he stopped to catch his breath. Hitome moved over to Van and started making out with him. "What can we do today?"

"Lets go to the beach!" Van suggested after he was done. "There's a new beach not far from here." Allen and Hitome agreed....

At the beach...

Escaflowne, the guymelef from which the series gets its name, landed in the middle of the huge beach. Hitome, wearing a one-piece bathing suit, hopped down. She was followed by Van, who wore swimming trunks; and Allen, clad in speedos.

"I knew my guymelef was good for something.." Van remarked. Allen and Hitome nodded simulantly in agreement. But before the trio could do anything, a flying citadel landed next to them. A tall, semi-muscular man walked out. It was Van's elder brother, Folken! He was wearing a Hawaii T-shirt and pants.

"Brother?" Van said with surprise. "It's a shock to see you here."

"Even corrupt, evil, manipulative, hell bringing villains like to take vacations sometimes." Folken pointed out.

"Where's Dilandau?" Allen asked. Folken jerked his good thumb to the fortress.

"He's still inside," Folken answered.

"I'm coming out now!" Dilandau announced from inside the citadel. The 15-year-old boy busted through the door. To the shock and horror of the people around him, the infamous pyromaniac wasn't in his bathing suit; he was in his birthday suit!

"What the..?" Dilandau looked at the appalled faces of the clothed people around him. He then turned and glared at Folken. "FOLKEN! You said this was a nude beach!"

"New beach, Dilandau... not nude," Folken clarified.

"Oh, uh...oops.." Dilandau said, putting one hand behind his head, "My bad!" It was then that he noticed Van, Allen and even the modest Folken pulling the front of their trunks/speedos/pants forward at themselves and up at Dilandau as if comparing sizes. The pyromaniac knew things were bad when all three of them smiled contently and flash a thumbs up!

"Hey! Mine's bigger than Dilandau's, too!" Hitome exclaimed. The others stared at her in shock and disbelief.

"WHAT!?" Van and Allen cried simulantly.

"Brother...I never knew you swung that way..." Folken said thoughtfully.

"I don't!" Van snapped. "Hitome, we're through!"

"Hey! If I can accept your wings, you can accept my-"

"AHEM!" Folken cleared his throat, breaking Hitome's fragile train of thought.

She paused for a moment, "What about you, Allen?"

Allen choked, "eh-er, uh, I um...wh-what Van said!"

"I guess I'm single now.." Hitome said sorrowfully. She/he/it eyed Folken. "Hey baby.." the psychic moved over to the startled fallen angel. She ran her fingers through his stiffly spiked hair. "Is all of you this spikey?"

"I-uh, don't swing that way.." Folken stammered as he edged away.

"I've got both parts, baby.." Hitome purred.

"Well-um, look at the time! I've got to go-bye!" Folken said as his onyx angel wings bursted from his back and he flew away like a bat out of hell.

"Well, that sucked..." Hitome then glanced at the still naked Dilandau, who was roasting marshmallows, "He looks easy.."

"Burn! BURN!!" Dilandau yelled, watching as the bonfire consumed the marshmallows. He narrowed his eyes as the marshmallows darkened to a toasty brown. He laughed maniacally. "BURN!! BURN!!!"

"Hey baby.." Hitome waltzed over to Dilandau, "Wanna bonk me?"

"Sure, why not?" the young commander said as she placed an arm around his shoulders.

"Although, between you and me.." Hitome continued as she walked inside of the citadel with Dilandau. She glanced down. "You should consider surgery.." Hitome shut the fortress door behind her, leaving Allen and Van.

"That was the scariest thing I've ever been forced to witness," Allen commented. Van nodded his head in agreement.

"After a crazy day like this, I wonder if things will ever be the same?" Van said quietly.

Afterwards:

Allen and Van were so scarred by Hitome's 'secret' that they turned to each other and are known on Saturday Night Live as the 'Ambiguously Gay Duo'

Dilandau got the surgery he so desperately needed and he and Hitome are now porn stars and go by the names "Shim" and "RuPaul"

Folken gathered up all of the other girls (Meryl, Melerna, the twins, etc.) and became a pimp. He lived happily ever after.

The End