Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ Ashes and Remembrance ❯ Chapter Two ( Chapter 2 )

TWO

Jindra sat on the grass in the clearing waiting for Folken. She held a book on her lap, but had not read one word since opening it. With a sigh, she closed the book, then her eyes and turned her face up to the sky. She didn't know how long she sat like that before she felt a touch on her shoulder and heard Folken's voice call her name. "Oh, Folken. I was just studying," she said; blinking her eyes against the sunlight.

"Studying? Just what could you possibly be studying with a closed book in your lap?" Folken asked. Turning around to face him, Jindra replied, "The sky . . . yes, I was studying the sky."

"Oh . . . and what did you learn in your studying of the sky?" he asked with an arched eyebrow and a hint of amusement in his voice.

"That the sky seems bluer and the sun seems to shine brighter everywhere but here -- in Zaibach, "Jindra replied quietly. Folken saw the sad look on her face and immediately knew that something was wrong. "Jindra, what is it? What's happened? Is it Coren?"

"Don't worry, Coren is alright -- but he won't be here for practice . . . in fact, I'm not sure he'll be able to continue with your lessons at all."

"Why? What's happened?" Folken asked, sitting down next to her. He set his sword and fencing mask down on the grass between them.

"Coren came for breakfast this morning. Do you remember the meeting that he said he had last night -- with the commandant?" Folken nodded his head. "Well, it was to receive his first commission. Coren was given his first commission last night. He's to report in a week for the assignment."

"That's good news. You knew he was waiting. Where is he going?"

"I'm not really sure; he didn't give us a lot of details. I'm sure that we'll find out more later on today," Jindra responded. Folken heard something more in her voice and he looked at her face -- he could see the tears that she was holding back. "There's more, isn't there?" he asked gently, putting his left hand on her arm. "What is it?"

Jindra shook her head and looked down at the ground, "It's not anything bad . . . it's just that I . . . we . . ." she couldn't finish. Suddenly it dawned on Folken what was wrong. He moved his hand from her arm and placed it over hers. "I think I know what's wrong. It's because Coren is leaving, isn't it?" he asked her.

Jindra barely nodded her head and Folken could see her shoulders shake as she let her tears go. "I-I-I know it sounds stupid . . . but-but Coren isn't just my brother. He's also my friend -- my best friend. We've always been together. I don't know what I'll do without him . . . "she said through her tears.

Folken didn't know what to say to her, but he knew how she felt. He and Van had been just as close. But that is no more, he thought sadly. He and I will never be close again. Folken sat quietly wrapped in his own thoughts, and held Jindra's hand while she cried herself out.

It was quite some time before Jindra managed to get herself under control and stop crying. It was about then that she seemed to realize for the first time that Folken was holding her hand. She could feel the warmth of him through her skin and she felt a momentary fluttering in her stomach. Blushing, she slowly drew her hand from his and brushed the remnants of her tears away with her fingers. "Sorry for falling apart," she said with a slight embarrassment. "I'm okay now, really."

"Don't be embarrassed," Folken said softly. "I know the two of you are very close -- it's only natural that you'll miss him."

"It's more than just missing him, Folken. Coren has always been my ally against my parents. My father won't even discuss allowing me to live in Palas; it's hard enough just convincing him to let me visit for a few weeks. My mother only wants me to go there so she can try and marry me off, "Jindra said angrily. "But Coren knows how much I love it there -- how much it means to me. Although he doesn't entirely agree with me leaving my birth country for another, he's always supported me. He just wants me to be happy. My parents are just the opposite -- they don't care about my happiness; they only want what they think is best, even if it makes me miserable for the rest of my life."

Folken thought for a moment. "It's not like he'll be going away for good; I'm sure that he'll be able to return and visit you."

"I know that. It's just that now I won't have him around to back me up anymore," Jindra said. "I've always been able to rely on him for support. Now it feels like I'm all alone -- me against the world." She could feel the tears gathering once again and she tried to blink them back. Jindra looked up at Folken and she felt her breath catch at the look on his face. She saw a deep pain that flashed across his features before he was able to mask it once again.

"Folken, I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have dumped all of this on you." After a few moments she added, "Sometimes it seems like all you and I do is apologize to one another. But I am sorry -- you don't need to hear about my trivial problems."

"No, Jindra; you obviously needed someone to talk to, and I'm glad that I could be here for you." Folken replied, gazing back at her. "I'm grateful for the friendship that you and your brother have given me. You've helped take away some of the loneliness that I've felt since coming here."

Jindra blushed again under his gaze. "I-I-I'm glad that you consider us to be friends. I don't have many friends here and with Coren leaving, that number is getting even smaller. It's nice to know that you'll be around for a while," she added with a small smile.

She has such a beautiful smile, he thought silently. Sighing, he pushed the thought from his mind. "So, I guess practice is off for today?"

"I hope you don't mind; but I really don't think I'm up for it. I didn't even bring my sword."

"No, I understand completely."

"Oh, before I forget -- my mother is having a going away dinner for Coren. I'd -- I mean we -- would like it if you could come. I'm sure that Coren would like to have the chance to say goodbye. It'll be the day after tomorrow . . . it won't be a very large party, probably about twenty or twenty-five people; mostly Coren's friends from the academy, friends of my parents . . . you know, the usual."

Folken didn't reply immediately. He's going to say no, Jindra thought as she watched him. He's afraid -- afraid that people won't accept him and will turn away from him. Such loneliness -- how can he bear it? Trying to forestall Folken's refusal, and to lighten the mood a little, she said, "C'mon Folken, you have to come. I'm even considering wearing a real dress in honor of the occasion. My mother is giddy over just the mere thought of it. Besides, Coren will have his little circle of lovesick admirers there hanging on his every word. You have to see him turn on that revolting charm of his to believe it."

"Jindra . . . I really don't think that would be a good idea. I'd like to say goodbye to Coren and wish him well, but it just wouldn't work; I'm sorry. Perhaps you could deliver a note for me?"

"Why won't you come? You're our friend, Folken. You have just as much right to be there as anyone else. What are you so afraid of?" Jindra asked with anger in her voice. "You can't stand apart from the world for the rest of your life."

"Jindra, I'm not going to argue with you. If we argue, then we'll both say things that will hurt each other, and I don't want to do that. Just please, try to respect my feeling on this. I'm sorry; but I just can't."

Jindra looked at his face as if searching for something; she sighed, "If that's how you really feel, then I won't press you. But if you change your mind, you're more than welcome. At least think about it."

"Thank you -- and I will," he replied. Taking up his sword and mask, Folken was about to say goodbye when Jindra opened up her black satchel and took out a sketch pad and a box of pencils. "Are you going to draw?" he asked her.

"Huh? Oh, no -- not really. I've already started the drawing -- it's for Coren. I'm hoping to have it finished before he leaves. I have the basic sketch done already; I'm just going finish it off a bit. I really don't have anything else to do for the rest of the afternoon, so this is as good a time as any work on it."

Folken had seen a few of her drawings and paintings, and he thought that she was quite talented. "Do you mind if I stay and watch you work?" he asked.

"No, but it's not very exciting to watch. I'm sure you probably have something better to do." Folken could tell that she was still angry with him although she tried to mask it. "Actually, no;" he said gently, trying to soften her mood. "I'd already planned to practice with you and Coren, so I'm free for a while. I would really like to stay while you work."

Jindra shrugged her shoulders, "As you like." She knew that she had been rather curt with him, but she couldn't help it. She never should have mentioned the dinner to him. She knew that he would say no, but something deep within her was hoping that he might agree. Why? What's come over me? I can feel his loneliness . . . his sadness -- and it pulls at me. I wonder what he was like before he came here. Jindra sighed and shook her head. "This is getting me nowhere," she said softly to herself.

"Did you say something?" Folken asked her as he shifted to a more comfortable position.

"Huh? Oh, no -- just talking to myself"

"What are you drawing?" Folken asked, glancing at the pad. "It looks like a building."

"Yes, it's our house," Jindra said as she turned the tablet towards him. "I wanted to give him something to remind him of home." Although it was just the beginning sketch, he could see the graceful lines of a house. "I'm just going to fill out the basic sketch a bit; then I'm planning on finishing it with watercolors. I think it's going to turn out really well." Jindra propped the sketch pad back on her lap.

"Don't you need to see the house while you draw?" Folken asked curiously. Jindra could see that he was genuinely interested and her earlier anger at him subsided a bit. "Well, not now -- I mean, I have the basic sketch done. Besides, it's not like I haven't lived in that house my whole life. I could probably draw it in my sleep," she said with a smile and a small laugh.

"Yes, I guess you're right," Folken said a little sadly. "It's hard to forget the house that you grew up in."

"That's why I chose it," she said. "This way, Coren can look at it and know that we're here waiting for him and that he always has a home to come back to." Looking up as she spoke, Jindra was startled by the look on Folken's face. "Folken -- I didn't mean . . ."

"On second thought Jindra, maybe I should let you continue your work in peace," he said coldly as he rose to his feet, sword and mask in hand.

His eyes are like ice. Gods, what have I done now? Jindra jumped up after him, leaving her sketch pad to fall on the grass. Folken was a few steps away when Jindra placed her hand on his arm and spoke, "Folken -- please . . . please don't go. I'm sorry, so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you; it was very stupid of me. I know that you miss your home . . . please don't leave here being angry with me. I-I-I don't think I could stand it if you went away from here angry with me."

Folken stopped and looked down at her. He cupped his left hand under her chin. He could see the tears welling in her eyes as she met his gaze. His eyes softened a little as he spoke, "I'm not angry with you, Jindra. It's just that this . . . this is bringing up memories -- memories I'd rather not deal with right now." He slid his hand up the side of her face and wiped away a tear with his thumb. "You don't know how much I envy you and your family. My family was so close once . . . but I can never have that again. I can never return to my homeland. You're very lucky, even if you don't think so."

Jindra reached for his hand as he took it from her face. She held it and looked deeply into his eyes. "Oh, Folken; I look at you and I see such sadness and loneliness. How can one person live with such loneliness in a city full of people? I don't want you to be lonely. I-I-I . . . you . . . I don't know how to say this . . . but you -- you mean a lot to me. It hurts me to see you so sad. I just wish there was something that I could do."

"Jin, you've given me so much with just your friendship. You and Coren have given me more than you know." Folken looked down at their joined hands. Friendship -- no, it's become more than friendship.

"Jin. No one but Coren ever calls me Jin," she said with a small smile.

He gave her a smile in return, "I hope you don't mind if I do?" he asked.

"N-n-no -- not at all. I'd like it very much if you did." Jindra could feel the blush that crept across her cheeks.

"Perhaps I should let you get on with your work." Lifting her hand, he kissed it. Yes, it has become something more than friendship. When did things change between us? Or have I finally realized the truth that been in my heart all along? He watched Jindra's eyes widen. "I'm sure that you'll be busy for the next few days, before Coren leaves; perhaps we can meet again next week? Is that alright?"

"You don't have to leave. I-I-I really would like for you to stay, "she said a little breathlessly.

"Thank you, but no. I've been working on a few things myself, and I can use this extra time to check on them. A little extra studying time wouldn't hurt me either," Folken said, releasing her hand. "I'll see you next week, okay?"

Jindra nodded her head, "Folken . . . I . . . I . . ." Without finishing, she stood up on her toes and lightly kissed his cheek. "You don't have to be alone," she whispered.

Without another word, she turned from him and walked back to where her things lay scattered on the grass. Quickly gathering up her belongings, she walked towards the path that led from the park without looking back.

Lifting his hand to touch his cheek, Folken watched her walk away.