Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ Ashes and Remembrance ❯ Chapter Seven ( Chapter 7 )

SEVEN

Jindra Roh pulled her wrap tighter about her shoulders as she walked. The sun had gone behind the clouds and the gusty wind held a distinct chill. She had been sitting on the park bench for almost half an hour and thought that a quick stroll around the small clearing might warm her up a little. He's late - I can't believe I'm sitting around here waiting for him. He probably won't come at all. Any minute now, one of those servants from the tower will be here with a note. What have I done? I don't understand what's come between us. Sighing with frustration, Jindra walked back to the cold bench and sat down.

Her brother, Coren, had been gone for five months and although he wrote her letters every now and then, it still wasn't the same. She still missed him so much and wanted him back home, even if he did drive her crazy half the time. Their house seemed so quiet and lonely without his booming laughter and good natured humor. She had cried like a baby the day that he left and still felt tears spark in her eyes whenever she recalled some wild episode or another that the two of them had gotten themselves into. Why did you have to go - especially when I need you so much now? I wish you were here you big brute - I really could use a good shoulder to cry on.

Jindra had also received another letter from her Aunt Bethanne yesterday, once again inviting her to come and stay with her in Palas. I can't keep putting her off - but what do I tell her? She was torn between wanting to go to Palas and staying home so that she could see Folken. But I haven't really seen Folken in so long. Would he even miss me - or notice - if I went? Maybe it would be best if we were apart for a while.

So much had changed between Jindra and Folken in the last few months and seemed as if they had started growing apart. Jindra wasn't sure why, but she felt that it was all her fault somehow - that maybe she wanted too much from him, that maybe she was too demanding. Folken was always late to meet her, when he came at all. Even when they did manage to spend some time together, it seemed as if his attention was always elsewhere. The first time that she had mentioned it to him, he had brushed it aside, "I'm just so busy with my work -- I've started a whole new phase in my studies; I don't mean to seem distracted." Something more than that had changed in the tower, Jindra was sure of it; and whatever it was, it had changed Folken. He just seemed so distant and secretive.

She had tried asking him about what he was working on, but he wouldn't say. "I can't tell you, Jin. It's forbidden to discuss tower matters with outsiders, I'm sorry." Outsiders . . . I'm an outsider to the man I love.

Jindra ran her hand over her leather satchel and felt the lump of crystal inside. She remembered when Folken had given it to her - how she had marveled at the fact that he had made it. She could tell that he had been proud of the accomplishment and she carried it with her everywhere.

She was brought out of her musings by the tolling of the city clock a few blocks away. An hour - he's not coming . . . I don't even get a servant this time. Why doesn't he just have the courage to tell me that he doesn't want to see me anymore? Angrily, Jindra got to her feet and started walking.

Where now? I don't want to go home - Anton is probably there. Since her brother's departure, Anton Lefebvre had become something of a semi-permanent fixture at her home. Jindra knew that her mother encouraged the young man to visit and was hoping for a possible match between the two. Jindra did like Anton, but only as a friend. At first she had been glad for his company after Coren had left; but as time passed, she could see that the young man's feelings were much more serious. Although he had never come right out and told her, Jindra was pretty sure that Anton was in love with her; and she felt bad because she couldn't return his feelings.

Jindra also suspected that Anton knew about her relationship with Folken. She had seen the hardness in his eyes whenever she happened to mention the outlander's name in his presence. There had been such a dark coldness in his manner, that it had scared her. She was sure that it was a side of his personality that he did not show very often. I bet he has one heck of a temper. Oh, why do I care . . . I never asked Anton to fall in love with me - I never encouraged him that way.

Still trying to figure out what she was going to do, Jindra thought that she heard someone call her name. Turning in the direction of the sound, she saw Folken running towards her. "Jin! Jin, wait up!" Jindra stopped and waited for him to catch up with her. Damn him if he thinks I'm going to meet him halfway. I should just keep walking -- it'll serve him right.

Folken reached her and took several deep breaths before he spoke, "Jin - I'm sorry, so sorry. I really meant to be on time today. I was so afraid that you would be gone - I'm so sorry." He could see the anger in her eyes as he spoke. "I know you're angry with me, but . . ."

"But what -- what's your excuse today?" Jindra's voice held an icy tone that made Folken step back from her.

"Jin . . . please . . . I am sorry - I really mean it. I did want to be on time today to see you."

Jindra could tell that Folken was trying to be sincere, but she was too angry and frustrated. "Well obviously you didn't quite make it, did you? I can't believe that I was stupid enough to stay out here freezing for an hour waiting for you."

Folken pleaded with her, "Jin, please - let me explain."

"What's to explain? You were held up by your studies - I've heard it all before, Folken." She said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

"Yes, I was - it is the truth. I have responsibilities Jindra; and as much as I want to spend time with you, I still have to do what is expected of me in the tower too."

"Obviously I can guess how much I mean to you then . . ."

Folken's eyes narrowed at her words, "You don't understand . . ."

"No Folken, I guess I don't. All I know is that I love you . . . and - and I thought that you loved me . . . but - but I'm not so sure anymore." Folken's eyes widened as she spoke.

He reached out his arms towards her, but she stepped away. "Jin . . . I do love you - I love you so much and I want to be with you, but I also have to continue my work with the sorcerers. It's so hard for me to do both - please try to understand . . ."

Jindra's voice was soft, "I guess Coren was right - he tried to tell me, but I wouldn't listen to him."

Folken gave her a puzzled look, "Coren . . .?"

"When he found out about us, he tried to warn me - he told me that you would choose the tower over me." Her voice started to break, "I didn't want to believe him, but he was right."

Folken stepped towards her again; and when she didn't move away, he put his arms around her and pulled her to his chest. "No Jin, your brother was wrong. I do love you - I love you so very much. I know that I'm not supposed to, but I do. Somehow I'll work it all out - you'll see; I'll think of a way."

Jindra put her arms around him and hugged him back. He could feel her take several deep breaths and he waited patiently for her to speak.

"Folken . . . I-I'm going away."

"What!?!" He exclaimed as he pulled back from her.

Jindra couldn't meet his eyes, "I'm going to Palas - to visit my aunt. I'll be gone for several weeks, at least."

"Jin, I know that things haven't been right between us - but please, don't leave me."

"I'm not going for good, I'll be back . . ."

Folken sighed, "I know that you're unhappy, but running away won't help."

"That's great advice coming from you!" Jindra snapped back.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He replied with anger in his voice.

Jindra took a deep breath and let it out slowly before answering. "Nothing - I'm sorry." She put her hand on his arm, "I've been thinking about this for a while. My aunt has been asking me to come for the past few months - since before Coren left. I just think that now is a good time. Maybe you and I just need some time apart - I think we could both use some time to sort our feelings out."

"Jindra . . . please - don't go. I'll try to spend more time with you, I promise. Please, please don't leave me." Folken's voice cracked with unshed tears.

Jindra felt his sadness wash over her as she reached up and touched his cheek. "Folken . . . I love you . . . I love you so much that it hurts sometimes. It hurts when you and I can't be together. I don't know, maybe being apart from you will help me . . . I'll come back to you -- you have my word." She reached down and clasped his metal hand, "More importantly, you have my heart; and I'll be back in a few weeks to see how well you've taken care of it." She gave him a small smile and reached up to brush his lips with a soft kiss, "So don't disappoint me."

Folken looked down into her eyes for what seemed like an eternity before he spoke. "I love you Jindra Roh - I love you so much. I don't want you to go - but I won't beg you stay, either; I do have some pride after all. But if you're even one day late in returning, then watch out - because I will come after you." He then bent his head down and kissed her.

As their lips met, Jindra opened her mouth to his questing tongue as she wound her arms around his neck. Crushing her to his chest, Folken felt the tears on his cheeks; please come back to me - you have to come back to me.

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When Jindra returned home later that afternoon, she found her mother having tea in the library with Anton Lefebvre. As always, the young Lieutenant was very attentive and polite and she could see her mother beam under Anton's ministrations. Jindra was trying to decide how she could broach the subject of Palas to her mother when she realized that Anton was speaking to her.

"I'm sorry Anton, my mind was somewhere else." She saw the disapproving look that her mother gave her.

"I was just asking about your afternoon - where did you go?"

"Oh, nowhere really - I just walked around the park, went to a few shops." Anton's eyes narrowed at her words. He knows perfectly well where I was - and who I was with - and he knows my mother wouldn't like it one bit. What is he up to?

"You shouldn't be wondering around by yourself in this weather; you'll catch your death."

"Really Anton, I don't think it's that cold out - and besides, you don't have to worry about me."

Sensing that things were not going as she had hoped, Doreena Roh decided to intervene. "Jindra dear, I saw that you had a letter from Bethanne yesterday; what did she have to say?"

Thank you for such a perfect opening, Mother. "Not much; just that everyone is well and she's invited me to come and visit for a few weeks. Please Mother, could I? I haven't been to Palas in so long - I really, really would like to go."

Her mother's eyes lit up, "Oh yes, I think that's a wonderful idea. It seems like ages since you last went to Palas. We'll speak to your father about this evening."

Jindra looked at Anton and saw the puzzled look on his face. "Palas - why would you want to go there?"

"Who wouldn't want to? Have you ever been there?" The young man shook his head. "Then you don't know what you're missing. Palas is the most beautiful city on Gaea and I'd stay there forever if I could." Jindra turned back to her mother, "I'll need a few days to pack and to write Aunt Bethanne and let her know that I'm coming. When do you think I could leave?"

Anton's voice sounded shocked, "You certainly can't travel alone - it just wouldn't be proper." He looked at Jindra's mother, "I do hope Madam Roh that you'll be going as well."

Doreena smiled at him, "Oh Lieutenant, you're so old fashioned. Jindra has traveled by herself before - she'll be quite alright." She then rose from her chair, "If you two will excuse me, I need to speak with the cook about dinner. Will you be joining us, Lieutenant?"

"Thank you for the invitation, but no - I must get back to the academy in a little while; perhaps another night." Anton stood and bowed to Jindra's mother as she left the room. After the door closed, he waited a few minutes before turning back towards Jindra.

His eyes were cold as he regarded her. "So, what's the matter? Did you and your little sorcerer have a falling out? You seem quite eager to leave the city all of a sudden."

"What are you talking about?"

"Please Jindra; you don't have to pretend to be the innocent with me. I know all about your affair with that metal-armed freak."

She was up from her seat in an instant, "I think you have better leave now Anton."

"Oh, I wouldn't get too loud if I were you, Jin. I'm sure you wouldn't want your mother to find out about your lover from the black tower. Did he finally show you his true colors? Did he break your heart?" Anton's voice mocked her.

"Anton, I'm warning you . . ."

"You, warning me -- that's a laugh. You forget Jindra; I'm holding all the cards as they say. I know all about your dirty little love affair with Folken Lacour. I would really hate to see the look on your poor mother's face were she to learn of it. She's such a sweet dear woman, it would break my heart."

"Your heart -- as if you had one." Jindra spat at him.

"Oh I have one Jindra, as you well know. You've been throwing it back in my face for the past five months."

"Anton . . . I never encouraged you in that way - and I do like you, but only as a friend. I'm sorry if . . ."

He cut her off, "I don't want your pity Jindra - I want you. Since the first night we met, I've wanted you. I'd go to sleep at night and dream of you. But then my dreams turned into nightmares - nightmares of you in the arms of that filthy sorcerer. It's so wrong - why can't you see it? He can't ever give you the kind of life that you deserve."

Jindra took a step towards him and reached out her hand, "Anton, please don't . . ."

He jumped back from her. "Don't touch me! Do you want me to lose what little control I have left?" She could see his hands clench into fists. "Gods help me, I love you. I-I-I want you to marry me, Jindra. I can give you a home, a family - a future. My family isn't rich, but we could live comfortably. I can speak with your father later this evening . . ."

Jindra clutched her hands to her chest, "No Anton - please don't . . . don't ask me . . ." She could see the hurt and pain on his face. "I-I-I can't marry you . . . I don't love you . . . I don't think that I could ever love you - at least not in that way. I'm so sorry . . . I don't want to hurt you . . ."

Anton squeezed his eyes shut as she spoke. When he opened them, Jindra almost jumped at the icy coldness in his gaze. "So that's it? You really are a cold little bitch, aren't you Jindra? Well, you've made a huge mistake and one day maybe you'll realize it - but by then it will be too late."

Without another word, Anton turned away and left. As the door closed behind him, Jindra stood in the middle of the room and wrapped her arms around herself as she shivered with a coldness that went down into her very bones.

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In a darkened chamber in the sorcerer's tower, a heavily cloaked man knelt at the feet of his emperor. The man was terrified, but he would not show fear; no, instead he would show Dornkirk that he was worthy of his notice - not his scorn.

"Your majesty . . ."

"What have you to report?" The emperor's power radiated throughout the room.

The man stood without being given permission to do so. "Lord Folken and the girl met in the park yesterday. They were together for perhaps an hour. It appeared as if they were arguing, although they did embrace before departing."

"This is all you have?"

"No, my emperor; I have it on very good authority that the girl will be leaving the city soon. She will be traveling to Asturia for an extended stay - Palas, my informant said. I believe this was the cause of the, shall we say, disagreement."

"I see; and you trust this informant of yours?"

"Yes my lord; he is a confident of the family. A very ambitious young man, if I might add. I believe that he also has a personal interest in the young lady as well."

"His ambitions mean nothing to me. No doubt you will see that he is suitably rewarded for his efforts."

"As you command, your majesty." The man bowed his head.

"You will continue to watch and report back to me - and only me. Do not fail me, understand." Dornkirk turned away, "You may leave me now."

The cloaked man bowed deeply and drifted away into the shadows.

Folken, you pledged yourself to me. I am your master and I will be obeyed. You will learn that the tower is your life - I am your life. Yes my young charge, you will learn it. Nothing will come between you and your destiny - nothing.