Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ Ashes and Remembrance ❯ Chapter Nine ( Chapter 9 )

NINE

In the carriage on the way home, Jindra and Bethanne laughed over their evening with Dryden Fassa. True to his word, the young man had escorted them all evening: introducing them to other guests, sitting with them during dinner and even going so far as to dance with each of them at least twice. They both found him to be very charming, witty and quite intelligent. When Bethanne had asked her how she liked Dryden, Jindra had laughed and said that it was like spending the evening with her brother. "He's just like Coren. Gods he would drive me crazy - he did drive me crazy! Don't worry Bethanne; he's definitely not my type. He was quite handsome though." Bethanne agreed. "Yes, he was a nice diversion - nothing at all like his father."

Jindra didn't say anything for a few minutes. When she finally spoke again, her voice was soft but it held a serious tone. "Bethanne . . . I'm sorry about this afternoon. I . . . I want to apologize. I know that you care about me and just want to help . . . I'm sorry for being so rude."

Bethanne reached out and patted the younger woman's hand. "It's okay; I know it's hard to tell someone your deepest feelings. I'm not angry with you Jindra and if you want to tell me, then you will - I won't pressure you."

Jindra gave Bethanne a small smile and then looked out the window. After a few moments of silence, she looked back at her aunt. "Bethanne . . . I . . . would you . . . I'd like to tell you . . ."

Guessing what her niece was trying to say, Bethanne patted her hand again. "Its okay - we're almost home, we can talk then." Jindra gave her aunt a grateful smile and the two passed the rest of the ride in silence.

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Upon reaching Bethanne's house, the women retired to the sitting room where they remained silent while the maid brought in a tea tray. After the servant departed, Bethanne sipped at her tea and waited for Jindra to start. She could see the younger woman struggling to find her words and so waited patiently. Jindra looked up at her aunt and Bethanne gave her a reassuring smile. Taking a deep breath to steel herself, she started.

Jindra told Bethanne everything, or nearly everything. She told her how she and Folken had first met, when she first realized that she had feelings for him, the first time that he said that he loved her, most of what Coren had said about his past, their clandestine meetings and finally even about Anton Lefebvre. She didn't tell Bethanne what Coren had said about Folken being the crown prince of Fanelia, because she really didn't believe it herself; nor did she tell her too much about the sorcerers and the tower - which wasn't hard considering that she didn't know that much about it herself. After she finished, she felt emotionally drained and exhausted. She had kept her feelings inside for so long, that it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Jindra picked up her cup and gulped the now cold tea as she waited for Bethanne to speak.

Bethanne gave the younger woman a thoughtful look, "Well, I guess you were right - it is a bit complicated . . . but not completely hopeless or impossible."

"You don't think so?"

"No; you're not the first woman to fall in love with someone that your family didn't approve of - in fact, in this family it's almost required." Bethanne smiled as she spoke.

"I only hope my parents will see the humor in it. What do you think I should do?"

Bethanne thought for a moment before answering. "First I think you should tell your parents, or at least your mother, about Folken. Doreena knows what it's like, I think she'll understand. You don't have to tell her everything right away, but you should at least tell her that you've met someone and that the two of you are in love."

"But she'll want to meet him."

"I'm sure that she will. Is that a problem?"

Jindra hesitated; she had not mentioned Folken's arm to her aunt. "I-I don't know . . . he's very - shy and self-conscious around people."

Sensing something more in her niece's words; Bethanne asked gently, "Why? What's wrong with him?"

"Nothing - there's nothing wrong with him!" Jindra replied with anger in her voice.

"Jindra please, don't get upset with me; but I get the feeling there's more than what you're telling me. There is something, isn't there? What is it? Please, tell me." She gave the younger woman a sharp look, "He's not married already is he?"

"No - not that . . . it's just that - that . . . Folken lost his right arm - in an accident; it happened before he came to Zaibach."

"Oh, how horrible!"

"He's not an invalid . . . I mean he's learned how to do most everything with his left hand. I-I don't know how it happened - I've never had the courage to ask him about it. I can tell that he isn't ready to talk about it yet; that the memory still pains him. But he knows that I love him and that it doesn't make a difference to me."

Bethanne reached over and patted Jindra's hand. "You said 'before he came to Zaibach'. If he isn't from Zaibach, then where did he originally come from?"

Jindra started to look uncomfortable and she didn't reply right away. When she finally did speak, her voice was soft. "H-He's from a country called Fanelia - Coren said it was on the border of Asturia."

"Yes; its several days travel from here actually. How did he get from Fanelia to Zaibach?"

"A patrol found him - in the forest - he had lost his arm. Somehow they managed to keep him alive and get him to the city. They took him to the sorcerer's tower. T-They . . . his arm . . ." Jindra couldn't finish. How can I tell her about his arm? Will she understand? Bethanne waited patiently for her to continue.

"Do you remember when you first came to visit us in Zaibach?"

Bethanne nodded a puzzled expression on her face. "Yes; it all seemed so strange -- all the glass and metal buildings . . . all the machines. It was so different from Palas. I was a little frightened -- I could see why your mother never really liked it there."

Jindra swallowed, "All those machines - all of that technology - are what the emperor and his sorcerer's call science. It's that same technology and that same science that helped save Folken's life with he should have died." She looked away for a moment. "They . . . the sorcerers . . . they replaced Folken's lost arm with another one - a metal one." Jindra's voice was no more than a whisper when she finished. She didn't want to look at Bethanne, afraid to see her reaction.

Reaching out, Bethanne took her niece's hand. "How - how is such a thing possible?" Her voice sounded incredulous.

"I-I don't know - but they did. It almost functions like a real arm. But he's so self-conscious about it . . . he's afraid that people won't accept him because of it - afraid that people will think he's some kind of monster." Her voice started to break, "But he's not! He's kind, and gentle and loving and . . ."

Bethanne interrupted her, "Jindra you don't have to sell him to me. I understand how you feel, really I do. You love him so it's only natural that you feel you have to defend him." She gave Jindra's hand a squeeze, "Everyone always wondered why I fell in love with Armas Barrant; he wasn't particularly handsome, we didn't travel in the same social circles and his family, while fairly well off, couldn't compare to mine. But none of that mattered; because I when I looked at him, the only thing I saw was the most perfect man in the world - the one man who could touch my heart and my soul. It was like finding a piece of myself that I didn't know was lost." Jindra's eyes widened as she heard the echo of her own words to Coren six months earlier.

The older woman continued, "That's why I'll never remarry. I gave my heart to Armas and he still holds it, even in death. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about him or remember something that he did or said. I miss him so much that sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night crying because he's not there by my side." Bethanne dabbed at her eyes with a linen napkin. "That kind of love only happens once and I was very lucky to have experienced it - even if it was only for a short time."

Jindra rose from her chair and hugged the other woman. "Oh Bethanne, that's how I feel about Folken. I love him so much that it hurt sometimes. I hate it when we can't be together. Sometimes I wish that we could just run away together - somewhere secret where we could stay forever. He's the only man that I want - ever. I want to spend the rest of my life with him."

Bethanne took both of Jindra's hands in hers, "Jindra, the only real advice I can give you is to follow your heart. Some people fall in love many times during their lives; but few people, like you and me - and even your parents - are ever lucky enough to find that one true, soul-touching love that those other people can only dream of. That kind of love is never easy, but then again it shouldn't be. That's how you know it was meant to be and that it will endure." She brushed the hair from the younger woman's eyes, exposing the tears that Jindra was trying to keep in check.

Jindra pulled her hands away and brushed at her cheeks with her fingers. She gave her aunt a smile, "Thank you Bethanne - I'm so grateful to you . . . I've wanted to talk to someone for so long. Thanks for listening."

"Well you really should talk to your mother about this - it would be better for her to hear it from you instead of someone else. I think that she'll understand how you feel. Talk to Folken too; maybe there is some way he can leave that tower. What about his family?"

"I-I-I don't know - he really doesn't say much about them. All he says is that he can't ever go back to Fanelia."

"Why?

"I'm not sure . . . I think it might have something to do with losing his arm. I think that's why it hurts him so much to talk about it." Jindra's eyes went wide as a sudden thought hit her, "Maybe they cast him out - maybe they left him there to die!"

Bethanne shook her head. "No, I don't think so. I've only been to Fanelia once and that was quite a few years ago - before you were born. I went on a trade run with your grandfather."

"What was it like?"

"I remember that it was quite peaceful - the whole kingdom was surrounded by the most beautiful forest land. There were so many shades of green that I don't think I could have counted them all. The city itself seemed a bit rustic compared to Palas, but the people were all quite open and friendly. I can't believe that they would leave one of their own out to die."

Thinking of what Coren had said about Folken's heritage, Jindra asked "Did you ever see the king and queen?"

"Just once - and from a distance."

Jindra pressed on, "What were they like?"

Bethanne thought for a moment. "The king was a big man and he had a hard look about him. Not hard in a mean sort of way; but more like a warrior - like a man who had seen battle and death. Some women might have found him handsome. But when he looked down at his wife, his whole face changed - it softened. You could tell that he loved her."

"The queen, what about her?"

"Oh she was beautiful . . . so beautiful. I don't think I've ever seen anyone like her before. She had long dark hair and when she smiled . . . she was beautiful. That's the only way I know to describe her. I remember Yellan saying that she wasn't Fanelian - that the king had raised quite a stir when he married her."

Jindra laughed, "Maybe she was related to our family."

Bethanne smiled. "I seem to recall hearing that they had children - sons I think." She looked thoughtful for a moment and her voice held a sad note when she continued. "I heard that he died a couple of years ago."

"Who?"

"The king."

"No! What happened? Was he killed?" Thoughts of Folken lying wounded in the forest came to Jindra's mind. What if he was injured trying to save his father?

"Nothing so dramatic I'm afraid. He was sick; he died after a long illness." Bethanne saw something flicker across her niece's face, "Why all this interest in the Fanelian royal family?"

"No reason - just curious, that's all."

"Hmmm. Well if you want to know more about Fanelia, then I suggest you ask your grandfather. Yellan travels there to trade all the time." Glancing at the small clock on the mantle, Bethanne rose from her chair. "It's much later than I thought, maybe we should call it a night - we can continue this in the morning."

Jindra stood also, "Yes." She embraced her aunt tightly. "Thank you for being such a great friend."

Bethanne returned the embrace. "I'm glad I could be here for you. Your mother and I used to be very close, but when she married and moved to Zaibach it was hard for us to stay in touch." She gave Jindra a kiss on the cheek. "The only thing I regret about my marriage is that Armas and I were never able to have children of our own. It's nice to have a daughter for a while." She yawned, "Oh, a little too much wine this evening. Good night Jindra, I'll see you in the morning." Bethanne left the room leaving the door open.

Jindra looked out the window to the sea below. The twin moons made the waters sparkle like glass. Closing her eyes, she pictured Folken in her mind. Taking a deep breath she sent her thoughts out into the night, hoping they would reach into the sorcerer's tower in Zaibach. Folken my love, my heart, my soul . . . I'll be home soon.