Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ Cold Nights, Burning Eyes, Hateful Grins ❯ Chapter 1

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

gattidilly




Warnings: Yaoi, sexual acts between two males. If you don't like that stuff..don't read. Some vulgar language too, I suppose. Doesn't offend me.. but it might offend you.. so, I'm just warning you
Disclaimer: I don't own them.. but a girl can dream.
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Cold Nights, Burning Eyes, Hateful Grins
It's cold, bitterly cold. I wish I could warm up somehow. I know how I could warm up. If I were in *his* arms. He makes me feel so good. I can't though. I can't bring myself to go to his room. What would I say? I couldn't just show up at his door and act as if his feelings were mutual for me.
Does he think about me like I think about him? Does he stay awake endless hours of the nights dreaming of the day he could be inside me? Hope that when no one was looking, he could steal a quick kiss of me? No, he never would. He'd never want me. He'd never want pitiful old Gatti
Dilandau and Gatti.... It does have a nice ring to it though. I envy the person who's name was on the same breath as his. "Dilandau and Gatti".. There... I said it. Whispered it. I can now envy myself. Can't I? Or does it work that way? Does someone else have to say our names together?
I could go to his room. Knock on the door and make up a lie. Say that I was sick, and I needed attention. No, that would never work. He'd think I was weak and hit me. Hn... hit me. Is that his way of showing affection? If it is, he must like Chesta much more then me. *Glance* No, he's still there. Curled up under his blanket. Fighting against the coldness of the late night. He hasn't snuck off to see Dilandau. Our captain. Maybe I will.
I'm almost there. Courage is building so strongly inside of me. 'Breath' I have to remind myself.
The covers come off of me and I step on the ice-like floor with bare feet. My legs go like goose flesh in the coldness. Pants, I need my pants. There they are. At the foot of my bed like they always are. My uniform pants and boots warm me up a bit. The thin nightshirt I wear isn't much help. Not much at all. Is it really cold out? Or is it just me? Is it because I'm so nervous? *Glance* No, its not just me. They all look cold.
Oh gods, I'm nervous. More nervous then I've ever been in my life. More than when I first came to the Vione or more than when I first failed Dilandau. Oh gods I remember that day. That was one of the most horrible days in my life. I thought for sure he'd kill me for not winning the battle against those Palas knights.
There were to many of them, and only one of me. The other slayers were busy trying to raid the palace. I was told to hold them off with Dalent. Fuck Dalent. Where did he go that day, anyway? *Glance* Coward. Afraid to work up a sweat. I'm much better in my Guymelef than in a sword battle. Its amazing I actually got out alive. Dilandau wasn't impressed that the raid failed to bring him what he wanted. We all got our beating. Chesta most of all. Poor Chesta... maybe Dilandau does like him more.
The door out of our dormitory. *Pant pant* Why is my breathing so labored? I feel like I was just in a battle. The hallway. Oh gods it stretches on so long. There's his door. The end of the hall. Next to the showering area. If I get caught sneaking out, I'll just say I was going to the washroom. That will do nicely. My boots are so loud, clanking against the floor. What if someone hears me? Right, the washroom... that's where I'm supposed to tell them I'm going. The washroom.
Gods, I'm at his door. What do I do? Just go in, or knock? Knock, yes knock. He'd be furious with me if I didn't knock. He'd be furious with me for being up so late too. Maybe I should turn back while I have the chance. Run away from this. No, I can't. If Dilandau taught us anything, it was not to run away. But he wouldn't know I was running away. Oh gods, I think I'm going to throw-up. The butterflies in my stomach are beating their wings so rapidly against the insides of me. 'Breath' I remind myself again.
*Knock knock*. There, I did it. I can't believe I just did it. Oh gods, I feel like I'm going to throw-up more than ever now. What's this? No answer? *Knock knock*. Is he ok? Should I just go in? Oh no, oh no. What do I do? I have to see if he's all right. I can't just walk into his private room though. Invade him in his sleep. What if he's not sleeping though? What if he's hurt and just can't answer the door? No, he's ok, it's just my paranoia playing with me. Shit, I hear someone coming. Oh fuck. Should I go into his room, or the showers? Oh gods, I hate making these decisions.
I open the door and close it quickly, but quietly behind me. No sound... no sound to attract attention. The last thing I want is attention. There goes the person, treading down the halls on night watch. Thank gods. What door did I open? *Glance* His room. Oh fuck, his room. I just had to pick his room.
The butterflies want to get out, I can feel them working their way into my throat. I still feel like I should throw-up. Shit, the person outside again. I can't leave. I'm stuck here. Fucking great.
*Glance* Oh thank gods, he's asleep in bed. It was just my paranoia playing with me. Thank gods.
He doesn't look like other people do when they sleep. Everyone I've watched sleep look so peaceful and innocent. He looks the exact opposite. What's the opposite of peaceful and innocent? I don't know, but that's how he looks. He looks cold too. Maybe if he wasn't stretched out on his back, but curled into a ball he'd be warmer. Let him sleep the way he wants to.
That stupid guard is still outside, walking up and down the hallways outside Dilandau's room. Maybe I did make a bit of noise. Oh well. They can't find me now. I'm with him. Sitting beside him looks so tempting. Just once. To see what it feels like.
His bed is so springy. Much better than the ones we get in our dormitory. He is the captain though. He gets better things then us.
Look at him. He's so beautiful. His silver hair makes him look pale. The night makes him look almost white. I'm sure if I saw his red eyes now, they'd melt me. Burn holes through me. I don't give a fuck, I want to see them. I wouldn't dare wake him though. No, he'd surely slaughter me for waking him. Fuck, he'd slaughter me for being in his room, nevermind waking him.
Pain, that's the word for how he looks now. He looks like he's in pain. Oh, how I want to hold him in my arms and comfort him. Nothing more would satisfy me at this moment. I'll have to settle for a kiss. What?!
Kiss my master in his sleep? In his sleep.. yes, he'd never know I've done it.
His lips, so red, scarlet even. I wish I could feel my lips against his. His warmth against mine. Why don't I just do it? Kiss him. Oh gods, how long have I waited for the day to be in his embrace? I didn't picture our first kiss like this at all. I thought he'd be the one to kiss me, not the other way around. Gods, the butterflies are back. They were gone for awhile, but now their back. They are beating at the sides of my stomach hard as ever. Here I go, our first kiss. Actually, my first kiss. It doesn't count as *our* first kiss if he isn't awake to feel it.
I was right, he is cold. But not just his face, his lips too. How odd. He's freezing actually. I hold the kiss longer than needed, hoping to give him some of my warmth. I take it for granted that I actually feel a lot warmer when I'm near him. I don't feel half as cold as I did earlier.
Oh shit, what's this? He's moving. I woke him up! Oh fuck, I woke him up. I draw back from the kiss quickly and look down at him. His eyes shoot open, he's aware that I'm there, in his room, sitting on his bed.
Gods, was I right. His eyes do burn holes through me. Is it possible for me to actually feel pain from his glare?
"Gatti," He says rather loudly, then hears footsteps outside of his door, "What the hell are you doing here?" he hisses in a lower voice. I stand up abruptly, and salute him. Two things on me salute him actually. Gods, how embarrassing. I try to hide my embarrassment by talking quickly.
"Sir, I... I felt.... I felt sick, I think I need attention immediately." Fuck, I thought I told myself *not* to tell him that lie. He notices how flustered I am. He also notices my erection. Shit, this is turning out to be rather embarrassing.
Silence. Oh gods, how I hate silence from him. It's so unnerving. Then a low snicker can be heard from him. "Gatti, I never knew you felt this way." Sarcasm hinting in every tone of his voice. I stare at him with confusion, what do I do? He lies in his bed and puts his hands behind his head, I still stand awkwardly at the side of his bed. He's obviously enjoying tormenting me like this. He lays staring at the dull ceiling, probably pondering what to do with me.
Oh fuck... there's that grin. I hate that grin. Evil, sly, hateful at times. He always gets that grin just before he hits me. He springs from his bed and stands before me, in nothing but sleeping shorts. Maybe that's why he was so cold. His body is so beautiful. This is the most I've ever seen of his flesh at one time. He never bathes with the Dragonslayers, and rarely ever do we see him out of uniform. Actually, I think this is the first time I've ever seen him out of uniform.
That hateful smirk is still on his face. Oh gods, it's coming. He raises a hand and I close my eyes. It's always less painful when you don't know when he'll hit you. That's what I've found anyway. It feels like hours before his flesh touches mine. The punch doesn't come though. His hand brushes against the purplish-green bruise on my face. He put it there. Another snicker. My eyes flicker open when he snickers. I'm slightly surprised that he didn't punch me. My eyes meet his molten gaze.
His hand slides down my cheek to the back of my neck. He pulls me closer to him, our bodies almost rubbing together we're so close. Gods, I still have that erection and I can feel it growing and getting tenser. What's this? Is he about to do what I think he's about to do? Yes, please say yes.
It is a yes too. Our first real kiss. It's exactly how I pictured it. He's the one who's kissing me. It feels so good to be in his embrace. One of his hands on the back of my neck, playing with my hair. The other resting on my hip. What do I do with my hands? Should I touch him, or will it make the kiss end? I want the kiss to go on. Gods, how I want this kiss to never stop, but I want to hold him in my arms. I want to make him warm.
Our lips meet. Mine are warm and dry, his are cold and damp. They feel so good together. I close my eyes and let him take over me. I can feel his tongue slip into my mouth. I think its the only thing on his body that's warm, the inside of him. Our tongues press together and I raise my hands to wrap around his waist. The kiss gets even deeper and more passionate. Please, don't let this kiss end. I want to stand here with Dilandau on my lips forever.
Of coarse, the moment I think that, he draws back. Stupid me, why did I think that? The hand on the back of my neck slips around and caresses my cheek again. "You liked that, didn't you Gatti?" he asks, with that grin on his face again. I open my eyes and look him in the eye. A simple nod is all I can do to answer him. "You want more, don't you?" he asks rather bluntly. Again, all I can do is nod. "Your not sick, are you Gatti?" another question. I shake my head this time, and I can feel my cheeks go a color to match his eyes.
"Why did you come here?" so many questions. This is the worst of them all. Why did I come here tonight? Just to see him, I think.
"For you, Dilandau-sama. I came to see you." I manage to choke out. He snickers again, that grin never leaving his face.
"And what were you planning on doing? Watching me all night, kissing me in my sleep?" He asks me while stroking my face. He doesn't seem angry... amused more than anything doesn't.
"I... I ..... don't know what I was going to do, Dilandau-sama" What a stupid reply. Its the truth, yes, but stupid just the same. I open my mouth to say something else... I don't exactly know what I'm going to say, but something to make this moment less awkward. There's no need for me to say anything. He kisses me again. Pure joy runs through my veins.
"Do you want everything tonight?" He whispers through light kisses. Everything? Does he mean what I think? Gods, wouldn't it be paradise if he did mean what I think. A low moan from me means yes. He understands completely and begins to undress me. Off goes the shirt. I kick off my boots and they land next to my shirt. His hands wander to my pants and he undoes the clasp. They fall to my ankles and I kick them aside. Here we are, two boys, standing in the cold in sleeping shorts. Our arms wrap around each other and we stand there for a second, trying to get warm.
He's the first to move again. He comes out of our embrace and pushes me towards the bed. I lie on the bed while he stands over me, looking my body up and down. This is rather awkward. I feel as if I'm being judged. His eyes come to rest on my rather hard erection. Damn, why does he have to stop there? It makes me feel quite embarrassed. His eyes boring into me... he seems quite content with just the look of the tent my shorts have made over my hardness. What's more unnerving, is that grin on his face. Why does he look at me that way? What is he thinking? Gods, I hope he moves soon. His body seems stiff and unable to move. Is he just as nervous about this as I am? Is this his first time with a guy too?
He comes out of his trance like state and his eyes flutter up to meet mine. He gives me that damn grin again. Maybe it's just his way of smiling. If it is, it's quite evil looking. I know that I'm not the only one who gets a little jumpy when he gets that smirk. He moves towards the bed and lays on top of me. I spread my legs a bit, so he can rest more comfortably. His erection brushes against mine. I didn't notice when he had gotten hard, I didn't really pay much attention to that. I was more content at looking at his beautiful face. He does have that scar, but he's still beautiful none the less. Stupid Van, I will get him one day for marking my Dilandau-sama.
This time I'm the first to move. I pull the blanket up over us and lock my hands behind Dilandaus back. I'm still cold, but he's even colder than I am. I feel almost as if I'm hugging a block of ice. I squeeze him a bit tighter, hoping that will warm him up a bit. A action made purely in vain, of coarse. It doesn't matter how tight I hold him, he'll still be cold.
His hands move up to my hair and lace themselves in it. I reach my head up, and brush my cheek against his. The cheek with the scar on it. I can hear him take in a quick breath, almost as if the brush had hurt. Quickly, I lower my head back down to the pillow and search his face for any sign pain. I see none in his expression, but in his eyes, I see layers upon layers of pain. Not pain I have inflicted on him, but pain from the past. Things he has experienced before he even met me. Gods how I want to cradle him against my chest and tell him everything will be ok. He's not that gullible though. He knows that's a lie. Gods, if I know its a lie, it must be pretty obvious.
In hopes to ease a bit of his troubles, or at least forget them for tonight, I reach up with my head again and kiss him. This is the height of my power. He recollects himself, and I can feel him take over again. Dilandau-sama was never one to be dominated. At least, that's what I've seen. He hates being below someone. Whether it's in battle, or in the bed, I guess.
I can feel him push my head towards the pillow and I rest on it. Our kiss gets deeper, and I can feel his tongue enter my mouth for the second time tonight. Gods, this is our second kiss, and already we're going to have sex. Or are we? Yes, I think we are. At least, that what it feels like. Dilandau seems pretty willing to go.
He moves out of our kiss, but his lips never leave my body. He leaves trails of kisses down my cheek and jawbone. He comes to stop and nibble on the flesh where my neck and shoulder meet. I give a whisper of a moan, but he still hears it. He continues to move down my body, bringing the blanket down with him and still kissing me ever so gently. I never knew this boy could be so soft and caring. The one who smacks me on a daily basis, and bruise' my face. How he can transform in a matter of seconds.
He's at my navel now, kissing and licking around it. Gods it tickles. I giggle a bit and he looks up at me. I raise my head from the pillow and smile at him. He gives me that same damn smirk. Fuck it. I'll learn to ignore it. From the first time I entered this room tonight, only good things have happened after the little grin. Maybe that's how it'll be from now on. I hope so.
His eyes leave our gaze, and back down to my navel. He begins to suck on my stomach and I can help but let out a pleasure filled moan. His hands move down my sides and I lay my head back on the pillow. His hands catch on the sides of my shorts and keep moving down my body. I can feel the shorts leaving my legs and being tossed carelessly to the side.
So here I am, completely naked lying the cold night, with my only source of warmth being the stare I'm getting from Dilandau. He doesn't seem to care that I notice he's staring directly at my erection. He's straddled over my knees and I can tell he is contemplating on what to do. The only thing is, what will he do? He's so unpredictable and I hate that sometimes. For all I know, he could get off me right now and send me back to the Dragonslayers dormitory stark naked. Of course, if he ordered me to go back there and dance a little jig in front of everyone while I was naked, there's not much I could do. I'd have to comply. He's my captain, I can't say no to his orders.
Thankfully, that's not what he does though. He comes out of his gaze and lowers himself to my erection. He glances up in my direction before he starts to do anything. To see if I'm OK, I guess.
I can feel him brush his cheek against my groin. I'm not sure what cheek, but I think it's the one with the scar on it. Gods, his slightest touch makes me shudder with pleasure. It's so wonderful to be underneath him and feeling his skin against mine.
Slowly, I can feel him raise his head and then lower his mouth to take in my length. I close my eyes and take in a quick breath. This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me. It's the best feeling I've ever known. I try my hardest not to buck my hips into Dilandaus mouth. I don't want to hurt him. Gods, no.. not hurt him. Just from the look in his eyes, I can tell he had enough hurt in his life. I want to make this one of the most memorable nights of his life. A night filled with the feeling of pure ecstasy.
He circles the tip of my erection with his tongue and slowly moves up and down my length. His movements get faster, and I can't help but let out another moan. This one was louder than all the others were. Actually, I think I scared myself at how loud it was. My hands find their way to Dilandaus head. My fingers lace themselves in his hair and I guide him slightly. I don't want him to feel like I'm trying to take over. That would make him stop. I don't ever want this to stop.
I start to move with the rhythm of Dilandaus movements. Bucking my hip lightly into his mouth. I can't believe how good it feels. Its not only the fact that I'm being pleasured, but the fact that I'm being pleasured by *him*. Another moan escapes my lips, but I manage to make this one more quite than the last one. I can still her the night guard treading up and down the hall. Maybe that's another thing that makes this so thrilling. The fact that we could get caught. Yes, that is one thing that makes this exciting. I love the thrill of it.
Dilandaus movements are much quicker now, and my breathing is much more labored. I can feel myself on the verge of cumming. I think Dilandau can tell I'm about to cum too. He slows down his movements and begins to suck at the tip of my erection. He traces circles around the tip with his tongue again, and my seed spills into his mouth. It's almost as if he's an expert at this type of thing. Not a drop of my cum escaped his mouth. I open my eyes and let out a long, exhausted breath. He creeps up my body and I can here him swallow. He reaches my neck and begins to bite playfully at it. I arch my neck into his mouth, so he can reach it easier.
After a few minutes of the playful biting and kissing, he moves to my mouth. He kisses me on the lips softly at first, but then the kisses get more hungry and vicious. My hands wander over his body and I notice he no longer has his sleeping shorts. I wonder for a moment when he had time to take them off. Then the though escapes me when Dilandau pulls back from the kiss and whispers lightly on to my lips "Did you like that, Gatti?"
"Yes, Dilandau-sama." I whisper back, while trying to kiss him.
"You'll like this even more." I can feel that stupid fucking smirk reappear on his face and his hand reaches up to brush my cheek. His fingers rub against my lips, then his hand leaves my face. I look at him with curiosity as he sucks on two of his own fingers. Why is he doing that? *shudder* Oh gods no... please don't tell me.
I can't believe it.
He takes his fingers from his mouth and lowers them to my buttox. I tense up at the though of what will come next. Gently, his fingers slide into me and I arch into him with pain. He kisses me again and I forget about what he's doing to me. The kiss is so deep and beautiful. Our tongues touch each other and I moan into his mouth. Suddenly, I can feel his hand moving back and forth inside me. It doesn't hurt so much anymore, but there is a sense of pleasure arising in me once again.
I feel Dilandaus erection rub against my thigh. Its amazing that he's managed to keep himself up all this time. Waiting just for me. Waiting until I'm OK. He removes his hand from my buttox and he takes himself away from our kiss. He props himself up on his hands and looks down at me. "Are you ready, Gatti?" He asks me. 'No' My mind screams, but I can't help but nod in agreement, ignoring that stupid little voice in my head. He looks down between us and I spread my legs a bit for him to get better access to me. He guides himself into me and lies back down on top of me.
I wince at the slight pain he causes me. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would though. It's only mild pain that will go away within the matter of mere moments. I see Dilandau lay on top of me, his eyes closed and his head resting on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around his waist and close my eyes too. We lay there in that position for minutes that seem to stretch out to hours. I don't mind though. That fact that I'm laying with Dilandau is all I need.
Gently, I feel Dilandau begin to rock his hips into me. The pain is back, and this time it hurts more than before. I tighten my hold on Dilandau and grit my teeth. He starts to rock faster and the pain begins to seep out of me. Soon, all I'm left with is the feeling of complete pleasure. I hear Dilandau moan softly into my ear and that brings me high pleasure. I now know that Dilandau is enjoying being here with me. This is one of the greatest feelings in the world.
He moves deeper inside of me now, and when he pulls out, he comes out almost all the way. We move amazingly in sync, and I can feel him brush against my pleasure spot with each stroke he takes. Our moans echo in the room. We both try to keep our calls low, but its done purely in vain. I'm sure anyone would be able to hear us through the Vione now. Dilandau doesn't seem to care though, neither do I.
I want to kiss him so bad right now. I'm afraid if I do though, I'll completely lose it and cum again. I don't want to come before Dilandau. I want him to be able to feel the pleasure he had given me once before, and is making me feel again. I hold off my kiss until we are both done.
I don't have to wait long though. Only a few minutes after my thought to kiss him, I can feel his warmth inside of me. He collapses on my chest, but I can feel his hand snake down between us. He strokes me a few times, but then I cum, releasing my seed all over our stomachs.
We lay there for a long time. He's still inside of me, and my arms are still wrapped tightly around him. Our bodies are covered in sweat and cum. He lifts his head from my shoulder and I open my weary eyes. For the first time tonight, I can see joy in his eyes, and that stupid fucking smirk is replaced by an actual smile. I close my eyes again and let out a deep sigh. I open my eyes again to find him still gazing at me. I smile lightly and he lowers his lips to mine. Our forth kiss of the night. It will be the last one for tonight, I suppose. This time I'm the one to pull away. He looks at me again, his eyes still filled with joy... I can't find a hint of pain anywhere in them. He lowers his head back to my shoulder and I reach down and manage to grab the blanket. I pull it up around us and put my hands in the small of his back. He's not cold anymore. Neither am I.