Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ ETV ❯ The contract ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

ETV News


Okay, this is my first attempt at humor… I give credit to all of the Humor Greats of fanfiction.net … many people out there, you know who you are ^_^
Okay, I've never done this before but I've got to do a disclaimer…
*Disclaimer* I do not own Escaflowne or anything of that sort. I do not own the news… but I feel that sometimes no news is good news. And I got some ideas from SNL (not really, but yeah)… and other humorous fan fics… And this came to me while I should have been dreaming…
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Their manager paced around the room, dealing with them was often very trying on his patience. Finally he threw his hands into the air. "It says on your contract that you are obligated to do something after your series ends… I own you for another 3 years!"
They all sweat-dropped. "That is hardly fair!" Van was losing his patience. "I am the king of Fanelia! I'm not doing any stupid newscast!"
"Sorry, King of Fanelia… you are still under obligation to do this!" the manager was losing his patience even worse than Van was.
Dilandau got an insane look on his face as he pulled out his flame-thrower. "I'll burn your contract!!! *Maniacal laughter*" Dilandau made some of the crazy faces that he tends to do sometimes.
"Read here," the manager showed Dilandau the contract.
"Folkie…" Dilandau whimpered.
"Fine," Folken got on his reading glasses. "It says: 'I Dilandau Albatou shall not in any way burn my manager or this contract. And if I do so, my flame-thrower will be destroyed.'"
Dilandau began to whimper again, and then proceeded to make puppy dog eyes. "That won't work on me. Now does anybody else have any arguments? Because I have lots more to this contract that you all signed too."
Not another word was heard from anyone. "Okay then," he handed everybody a piece of paper. "Now on here I have everyone's jobs. Now does anyone have any last minute changes to do before we get to the set?"
Everybody looked that their papers. The jobs went like this:
Millerna: weather girl
Hitomi: news anchor #2
Merle: camera #2
Folken: news anchor #1
Van: sports
Dilandau: camera #1
Dryden: director
Allen: news anchor #3
"And I will be the third camera," the manager explained. "Now any questions?"
"Um… don't you have to be a media-allergist to tell the weather?" Millerna asked, thoroughly confused.
The manager sweat-dropped. He began to answer when Dryden decided that it would be better to tell. "Well, since my intelligence is second to none… I guess I had better answer this question. A media-allergist does Claritin commercials, not the news."
Everyone except Dryden and Millerna did an anime fall. "No, you nitwit! It is meteorologist. Yes, except all you have to do is read off of the screen. It will tell you what to say," Folken easily tired of stupidity.
"Okay… interesting… now any other questions? Comments?" the manager didn't know why he even bothered.
"How come I'm not even on TV and Hitomi is? How come I'm stuck with the camera?!" Merle hissed.
"Okay, anything else?… Anybody?" the manager chose not to answer the last one.
"How are we hanging off of a boat and doing the news at the same time? In fact I refuse to… scuba gear messes up my hair!" protested Allen.
"Okay… I guess we are off to the studio then," the manager said…
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Okay, tell me if I should post more… I think I have some much funnier ideas coming up… tell me what you think ^_^