Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ In Your Absence ❯ See These Scars ( Chapter 1 )

"I am
little bit of loneliness
a little bit of disregard
a handful of complaints
but I can't help the fact
that everyone can see these scars"
--"Faint" Linkin Park

Nine months had passed. Nine long, painful months had already come and gone since Celena Schezar had gone home at the end of the Destiny Wars. It had seemed like forever, each day that she could remember of it dragging on endlessly, while the rest of the days were blurry. Vague feelings of dread and pain were the only memories she had of those days, dancing on the edges of her mind teasingly.

A scar, smooth and perfect in its imperfection, made its way across her right cheek, a ghost from her former 'life', marking her for who she'd been. It was her proof to herself and to the world of who she was; the beauty, the beast.

Nine months- the time it took for a new life to be born. It was an almost bitter sort of irony for her, but her life had been one long march of irony. Irony and she were old enemies, you could say. But through it all, she'd had her brother at her side, and really, in the end, that's all that mattered to her.

In Your Absence~ See These Scars
By: Unoriginality

"He should be here any minute," Millerna informed the flaxen-haired knight who stood on the other side of the desk from her. He was pleased at her news, as she had hoped he would be.

"Preparations are being made for the king's arrival then?" he asked.

She nodded. "There's to be a feast in the grand hall tonight in his honor." She sighed. "I only wish that husband of mine were here for it. He'll hate himself for missing Van's visit."

His lips twitched in amusement. "I'm sure that the king will have plenty to hear about when he returns, My Queen."

Millerna gave him an exasperated look. "You love to tease me, Allen," she scolded, settling herself into he chair.

He grinned boyishly. "Not at all, Your Majesty." He turned serious. "I trust you will require my services and those of my men?"

She smiled. "If you mean that ragtag bunch of ruffians you keep on the Crusade, certainly not. They have a certain sort of charm, but not one appropriate for royal court. However, if you had meant the Knights Caeli, then, yes, I would request their presence."

He bowed. "I shall see to it at once, My Queen."

Before he could move to go about his task, she held up a hand. "Allen, you're a good knight, but sometimes you're completely hopeless. You are supposed to be a guest at this banquet. Van is coming as a friend to visit all of us, not just me." He chuckled at the reprimand. "I also wish for you to bring your sister with you." The good-natured countenance started to disappear.

He was hesitant to bring Celena to a banquet where Van Slaznar de Fanel would be. He was learning quickly that her neuroses still had triggers, even if the worst of the storm was over. It was still dangerous to leave her alone with fire for too long, and the word 'dragon' made her develop a nasty eye tic. Allen wasn't sure what being around Van might do, but he was certain that it wasn't something he wanted to see at a royal banquet.

But, being the devoted brother that he was, there was no chance he'd leave her at home while he attended a party.

"I shall tell her that she's welcome. Thank you."

The young queen tipped her head curiously. "How is she doing?" she asked, her expression a bit more serious than it was a moment ago.

Allen hesitated. "She's adapting remarkably well to her new life," he answered with a cautious tone.

"Allen," she cut in, amused, "this is me you're talking to. You don't have to worry about telling me something that might disgrace you, or her, in my eyes. She's had a hard life. I understand if she does something... a little unconventional."

He held his breath, then released it with a nervous sort of laugh. "Yes, of course, Millerna, forgive me." There was a pause. "She... I hesitate to wonder what reaction she might have to Van... she has some rather sensitive subjects and I fear that he might be one of them."

"So you think it wise to not have her attend?"

He thought a moment, searching for a solution. "Perhaps we should let the two meet beforehand to see... how well...." He paused again. He hated speaking of his sister like this.

"-she reacts?" the queen finished for him, a knowing smile on her face.

"For lack of a better word, yes," he reluctantly admitted with a sigh.

"You shouldn't act ashamed of her for those traits, Allen," she gently rebuked. "She is who she is, and for better or worse, she's your sister. Rather than try to hide those quirks she still carries from Dilandau, you should be proud of her as she is and be glad you have her back at all."

He looked ashamed, an expression that few people ever saw on his face. "I-" he started, then fumbled for words, floundering. Even his damned foolish pride couldn't hold up against the force of her words. After all, Millerna, too, had lost a sister and knew all too well how lucky Allen was to have Celena back, Dilandau-ish behaviors and all.

What hurt him the most was that he had let his pride blatantly shame his sister to the queen's face.

Millerna rose to her feet and studied him with a grin. "Perhaps you ARE right on one thing. It might be best to have her attend a more private audience with the king of Fanelia, with only the two of us present, to see how it goes. After all, we don't know what kind of grudge he might still hold as well."

He was relieved that the subject had been averted. "As you wish, My Queen." As he bowed, he made a mental note to talk to Celena in private later. He had much to atone for, it seemed.

* * *

Celena rarely left her family's estate. She never had much reason to, and the few times she did, it was a short trip to the nearby city of Palas to meet with her brother for the noon meal. The quiet estate, less than a mile from the capital of the most powerful country in Gaea, was the only place left that she felt comfortable at. She was free to be herself without someone judging her, and she didn't have to worry about dealing with that awful feeling of being alone. In her home, she always had a piece of her brother, her family, her past to keep her company, even when Allen was at the castle, and she could practice her swordsmanship, despite her brother's distinct disapproval of the activity.

So needless to say, it was always an... interesting experience for Celena to visit the city of Palas. She always received mixed reactions from the crowd as she traveled down the streets. Her odd manner of dress-- she tended to wear looser clothing and sometimes she wore men's clothing that she'd taken from her brother's closet-- usually earned her a bemused look or two, and her short cut hair made her stand out almost as much as her unusual height did.

She bit off the urge to flash a nasty gesture at a group of elderly women that were staring at her and quite audibly clucking their tongues at her high cut dress. She didn't recall asking for their opinion and she really didn't need the added irritation as she tried to shove her way past a crowd of barely pubescent girls at a jewelry stand.

If confusion and awe had been the worst reaction she had gotten from the people on her first visit, Celena would've counted herself lucky. The stares were irritating, like the ones those women were still giving her, but they were a far cry better than the open hostility and fear she expected to get. And, as these women proved, she received a bit of the reactions she expected, but- oddly enough- an even more common reaction she found was admiration, of all things. She'd catch the occasional group of young men, and even young women, eyeing her wistfully, some of the girls tittering amongst themselves as she passed.

The first time she told her brother about some of the things she'd heard one such group of admirers say about her, he'd started laughing so hard she thought he'd pass out from lack of air. She had been less than amused, of course. Not that she was prudish or anything- she'd had far more experience in matters such as that than she'd EVER tell Allen- but some of the comments she'd heard were rather rude to make in as public a place as the market. Even SHE knew that.

"Good day, Lady Celena!" a girl's voice reached her ears, drawing Celena's attention briefly.

Another small group of young people barely Celena's age. Oh, lovely. They traveled in packs, Celena noticed, and she had yet to pinpoint WHY they did that. She kept nasty replies to that question in check long enough to give an acknowledging nod- barely a movement at all, really- to the girl and her companions before slipping past a vendor's rather obtrusive display.

Allen hadn't been surprised that she'd caught a few lustful eyes as she had been. She'd expected people to hate her, but, as Allen had already known, she was very attractive- as beautiful as a boy with just enough delicacy about her features to be considered feminine. It was the Schezar genes at work; both siblings possessed that odd quality of the beauty of both genders, though it was more pronounced in Celena.

If her looks weren't enough to earn her a following of worshippers, she had the added bonus of the sort of tragic past that always increased a person's appeal and gave them an air of mystery, guaranteeing her a fair sized group of admirers of both genders. She was an enigma, a mystery, and young adults looking for mates were attracted to that like the Mole Man was attracted to jewelry.

Bah, children, all of them. They were, overall, a mindless group- silly, giggly prats that had as much air between their ears as they had words to express that emptiness. The few that dared to actually approach her used the same tired introductions, and quite frankly, she was tired of hearing horribly-faked coyness from girls and ridiculously absurd bragging from boys. She had neither the time nor the desire to deal with any of them.

Besides that, she was damned certain that she could beat them all in the areas they pretended to be experts in.

A woman's shriek pulled Celena's attention from her silent grousing at the impending approach of another young buck looking to impress her.

Thank the gods.

She looked around, the migration of bodies towards the gathering crowd working to direct her to the source of the commotion. Celena let slip a nearly inaudible curse when she got close enough to see what was going on.

A dark haired young woman struggled under the iron grip of a large man as a smaller man- obviously the larger man's partner- made taunting faces at her and laughed. She screamed again and managed to slip loose and tried to take off, the attempted escape ending when the smaller man kicked in her knee. She landed face first in the dirt. His partner reached down and yanked her up by her arm, a loud crack indicating that something had broken. She cried loudly.

"Oh, she's a feisty one, ain't she?" the large man asked, twisting her arm behind her back. The other one laughed and grabbed the woman's chin, pulling her face disgustingly close to his.

"She's young too," he answered, licking her cheek. She whimpered and squirmed defeatedly in her captor's grip.

Celena shook her head. Normally thugs wouldn't be so bold as to do this in the middle of a crowd such as this one, but these particular thugs seemed to think that they were better than the law and didn't have to hide their crimes. What, did they honestly think that no one would step in?

Celena was pretty certain that it didn't help that no one was actually making a move to help the poor girl. Not even those young men that fancied themselves so strong were doing anything, leaving Celena to wonder if she'd have to step in and take care of it.

Damnit.

While a large part of her wanted to move on about her business- her brother didn't summon her to the palace often and she'd be late if she didn't hurry- another part of her really wanted to put those two in their place. Something about their attitudes triggered her old habit of wanting to beat down people that annoyed her. Besides, she knew damned well that her brother would teach those bastards a lesson if he were here, and she felt obligated to do his work for him in his absence.

"Lady Celena!" the woman called to her desperately when she caught sight of the approaching Schezar sibling. A sister's duty had won out, and now she was stuck following through with it.

The smaller man laughed. "Listen to 'er, callin' fer 'er princess in shinin' armor. Dat's cute." They laughed at his joke as if it were actually funny.

"I would hardly call myself a princess, gentlemen," Celena said coldly, crossing her arms. They stared at her, somehow recognizing her, despite the gender and clothing change from her days as Dilandau. She quickly sized up their appearance, deciding that she could take them easily. They were just standard, run-of-the-mill punks. She mentally groaned at the sight of the Zaibach insignia on their arms. Fuck. Just what she needed. No wonder they seemed to recognize her. "I'll thank you for the compliment just the same. My brother would have a fit if I didn't mind my manners, even with thugs like you."

"Holy shit!" Small Man squeaked, "it's dat fuckin' psychopath!"

"I thought he died!" the Big Man all but whimpered.

Celena's right eye twitched. "I'd watch how you speak to me," she spat. "Let the girl go."

In an attempt to save face with the ever-growing crowd, Big Man pulled the woman closer and twisted her arm a bit farther. She bit off another scream. "This one's ours, Dilandau," he growled.

Celena bristled and a wave of murmurs went up from the crowd. This was going to get very ugly, they could tell, and, as per typical mob mentality, they were eager to see a fight. "Never call me that again," she hissed, uncrossing her arms and taking a step forward. "Now, I'm pretty sure I told you to let her go. I don't want to be any later than I already am."

Small Man pulled out a knife."You gonna try ta make us? You ain't not'in but a little girl." Celena's whole body tensed up. The woman's voice quivered as she sobbed, watching Celena hopefully, silently begging for help with pain-filled eyes.

In a blur of turquoise, Celena's heel connected with Small Man's hand, sending the knife flying upwards. She gave a solid kick to his groin, jumping up on his shoulders when he crouched down in pain. Using his body as a brace, she sprang up and snatched the hilt of the knife in her hand, quickly landing with a soft thump behind him.

Before he could bring his voice down to a normal pitch again, Celena spun and grabbed hold of him, the blade of the knife poised at his neck. She stared down Big Man with a fierce determination.

"Let the girl go or I'll kill him," she ordered with a dangerously quiet voice.

"B-brother!" Small Man croaked out, his voice still cracking.

Big Man stared in silent surprise for a moment, then chuckled, pulling out his own knife, one that looked disturbingly familiar to Celena. "Go ahead," he grinned. "But if you do, I'll kill her." Cold metal pressed against the girl's throat. She sobbed. Neither fighter moved. Celena bit her lip, tuning out the sounds of the crowd around her, listening only to the rhythmic beat of her heart, letting herself fall deeper into the old familiar dance of a battle.

Before anyone could blink, Celena threw her knife, burying the blade to the cheaply made hilt in Big Man's forehead. He made a gargled choking sound as he went down, dropping the knife from his hand.

Celena dived at the falling weapon, catching hold of the blade, ripping open a gash in the palm of her hand as she tightened her grip. She bit her lip as she twisted her body, allowing her shoulder to absorb the impact of her landing. The material of her dress snagged on something and tore. She pulled herself up into a crouching position and threw the knife at Small Man, who had only just begun to react, with a quick snap of her wrist. The knife found its mark and sank into his chest.

Seeing the man go down, Celena took a deep breath and pulled herself up to her feet. "Damned punks," she muttered, brushing a bit of her hair out of her eyes. She glanced at the woman, her battle-trained eye quickly looking her over for any serious injuries. There was blood on her face and her elaborate hair style was in shambles, but other than the oddly hanging arm, she seemed fine. Sobbing and hysterical, but fine. "Try to be more careful," she told the woman as she brushed herself off, swearing as she realized that she was smearing blood from her hand on her already torn and dirty dress. "Oniisama's gonna love this one." She kicked at the body at her feet, confirming that he was dead, then moved to the other one.

"Lady Celena?" the woman called to her timidly. She stopped and half turned. "Thank you. Those men-... they would've..." She choked on her tears, breaking off her sentence.

"I was just doing my brother's work in his absence," she interrupted. "You'd best find a healer to look at that arm." She snatched the knife from Small Man's chest, wiping it off on his shirt and wedging it into the top of her thigh-high boot.

She wanted to take a closer look at the weapon, but it would have to wait until later. She was running late, which meant just one more thing to explain besides her shoddy appearance. He also expected her to be presentable, but this time he'd have to take what he could get- she didn't have time to go back and clean up.

She glanced down at her hands and grimaced. They were covered in blood and dirt, the cut on her palm a disgusting shade of rust red as the blood around it dried.. She knew damned well that her brother would have handled those punks in a more timely manner, and without even mussing his hair up..

Something above blotted out the sun, casting a shadow over most of the marketplace. Celena glanced up and let slip a curse. The Crusade was already here, which meant that she was even later than she'd thought.

With a deep sigh, she broke into a sprint towards the castle.

* * *

"Van!" Millerna greeted the young kind with a friendly hug. She clasped his hands warmly in her own. "It's so good to see you again."

The boy-king smiled at her enthusiastic welcome."The pleasure's mine, Mi-"

"MILLERNA!" The king was interrupted by a young girl's joyful cries. Seconds later, a human-sized bundle of fur had launched itself at the queen in a hug that was more of a flying tackle. The cat girl mya'ed her own greeting, then scrambled back to her place next to Van. She grinned and gave Millerna a quick and playful version of a bow.

Millerna blinked as she regathered her wits, then smiled at the girl. "And you too, Merle!" She laughed.

Van gave Merle a mildly disapproving look. "Merle, I told you to mind your manners." Merle ducked her head, a little red from the reprimand, then took hold of his arm and batted her eyes at him, doing her damnedest to look cute and innocent. He rolled his eyes skyward.

"It's perfectly okay," Millerna assured. She glanced back over her shoulder at Allen, who had so far remained silent. "Allen?" He started, tearing his eyes away from the door that he'd been paying more attention to than the little reunion, a startled look on his face. She frowned. "Is something wrong?"

"No, of course not, my queen," he answered. "I was simply letting you have your chance to greet them first." He moved forward with an easy stride and shook Van's hand in greeting. "It's a pleasure to see you again, Van."

The king frowned inwardly. No matter what Allen had told Millerna, something WAS bothering the knight, Van could tell. Allen could hide the worst of his irritability but there was always a set grimness about his expression that betrayed his mood. It flitted through his mind to ask what was bothering him, but he thought better of it and returned the handshake.

"It's been awhile," he agreed.

"I will have servants take your things to your rooms," Millerna informed her guests. "In the meantime, why don't we go someplace more comfortable?" Allen shot a look to her. She nodded. "Allen? Why don't you have Gaddes escort your visitor to us in the library study?"

His shoulders drooped a little, but he nodded once in compliance and called Gaddes over to him. Van unconsciously sucked in his breath. He had a sinking feeling that he knew who this 'visitor' was and he wasn't looking forward to her arrival.

He wasn't one to admit it, but Van had a hard time letting things go, and he tended to hold a grudge much longer than he probably should. He understood, of course, that Celena couldn't entirely be blamed for what happened to Fanelia- the fact that she was be manipulated by a fate-alteration experiment to make her the person she was aside- she hadn't even been the one to decide to burn his home to the ground. Those orders had come from above- from Van's own brother. Yet, he'd forgiven his brother, even though the pain of the loss still stung daily as he watched the few remaining citizens of Fanelia struggle to rebuild the kingdom.

But even though he no longer put blame on Celena for what happened- for any of it, really- he still wasn't ready OR willing to face her yet. He'd seen her once or twice since the effects of the experiment reversed themselves, and she seemed like a sweet girl- absolutely nothing like her former self- but it didn't change anything. She could be the sweetest person on earth and remember absolutely nothing of what happened and he still wouldn't be willing to see her just yet.

And what if she did remember? Then what? It would be awkward, to say the least- they both had wronged each other so greatly that Van would be surprised if they'd ever be on completely good terms.

Well, ready and willing or not, he was going to have to swallow his pride and face Celena Schezar today, so he'd do his best to make this afternoon pass without any exchange of words or blows.

Millerna led them to the library study, taking so many twists and turns that anyone who hadn't already known their way around would've gotten lost. She chatted happily the whole way, catching Van and Merle up on the happenings around Asturia.

"The south end is nearly completely rebuilt," Millerna said proudly. "We've added a hospital and an orphanage to house the children that lost their homes when that area was burned." Van took note that she didn't say WHO had burned it. "What about Fanelia?"

Van took a moment to figure how much had actually been fully reconstructed in the nine months since the end of the war. As king, he had about a half a million other things to try to keep track of, diplomatic relationships among them, so he'd not exactly had much of a chance to go out and see the efforts for himself. "We have some of the outer sections and parts of the castle rebuilt," he finally replied with a shrug. "The city wall's completely rebuilt." That, of course, had been the first to get done. Van had his own touch of paranoia, and with Escaflowne asleep, he really didn't need to be taking chances.

"Is there anyway we can be of help?" Millerna asked, giving him a look that clearly said the help would be a gift as a friend and not a diplomatic move. "Costs, labor...?"

Van shook his head. "We're fine at the moment; we have all the supplies we need in the countryside around us and it gives the people work to do, so they're happy." He mentally filed that offer away in case things changed later.

"Everyone's doing something," Merle cut in, her tail thumping against the seat next to her as she gripped Van's arm. "The other kids and me bring people's lunches to them." She seemed incredibly proud of herself for what she was doing to help.

Millerna smiled. "And I'm sure you're all doing a fine job."

"Have you heard from Dryden at all?" Van desperately wanted a change of subject; he'd come to Asturia to have an enjoyable visit, not to be reminded of the hardships he left in Fanelia. He saw Allen shake his head out of the corner of his eye.

"That jerk hasn't even sent me a letter," Millerna told him, managing to sound prim and proper in her indignation. Even if the word 'jerk' wasn't among the most prim and proper words in the language. "Not a single letter! He honestly seems to think he can just run off, leaving me to run the country and fix the place up and not even send me a letter." She didn't look like she was done with this little rant either.

Van wish he'd never said anything.

Merle was entranced by Millerna's complaints about the merchant, her tail fluffing up with indignity for the whole of womankind upon hearing of his supposed neglectfulness, and adding choice words of her own. Van groaned and Allen chuckled.

"I take it you've not heard this before?" the knight asked with an amused smile.

Van shook his head. "I could've gone my whole life and died a happy man if I never had," he answered, now tuning the women out to speak with the taller man.

Allen laughed outright at that. "I wish I'd had that option. Unfortunately, this is not the first time I've heard it, nor will it be the last."

Van grimaced. "I hope this doesn't mean I get to hear it my entire visit. I was hoping to enjoy my time here."

Allen shook his head. "No, you're just fresh blood to submit to this." He chuckled, then glanced back towards the door of the study, his prior look of concern crossing his features briefly.

Van tapped a finger on the arm of the chair he was sitting in. "Who exactly are you expecting?" he finally asked, even though he knew the answer. From the horse's mouth...

Allen fidgeted briefly, then crossed his legs in a casual manner. "My sister. She was supposed to be here before you got here."

Van nodded; he'd expected as much. "How is she?" Good manners dictated that he should inquire about her health, and it was an easy filler question while he put his jumbled thoughts together enough to come up with something a little better than that.

"She's well," the knight answered, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Van opened his mouth to say more, but was interrupted by a knock on the door, followed by the almost inaudible creak of the hinges at it was opened. The four of them looked over to a see a rather frazzled Gaddes poking his head in through the cracked door, an uncertain look gracing his face. Allen stood up.

"Um, Boss," the captain stuttered, "um, she's uh, she's here, but-"

"Well, show her in, Gaddes," Allen interrupted almost impatiently. Gaddes winced in reply, but finally, with the facial equivalent of a shrug, stepped out of sight for a moment. His voice was heard, followed by a woman's voice, then the door opened again.

She was covered in dirt and blood, and her dress was torn, but she either didn't notice or didn't care. In fact, she looked calm and collected, looking over her shoulder at Gaddes and scolding him for not just showing her in in the first place. "Honestly, Gaddes, I don't see why-" She stopped, cutting herself off mid-sentence as her eyes settled on Van.

The impulse to reach for his sword was strong- almost overpowering. Every muscle in his body tightened until they burned. Merle gripped his arm, digging her claws in just enough to grab his attention. He froze, then looked at her, relaxing a bit as he let reality regain its usual grip on him.

For a moment it had been Dilandau that had walked through that door, eyes blazing with bloodlust, a maniacal smirk on his face. He looked back again at Celena- it was indeed Celena, a girl staring at him, blue eyes filled with shock, terror... hatred. She looked like a caged animal, trapped in a dangerous situation with no way to defend herself. Somehow it made Van feel better to know that she obviously hadn't been told of the meeting either.

Allen had either not seen the silent exchange or he didn't care; he and Millerna both were up and at Celena's side, bombarding her with questions and checking to see how much of the blood on her was her own.

Probably none.

A woman had been attacked by thugs in the marketplace-

So who did you kill? The thugs or the woman? Or both?

-the thugs were dead now, of course-

Of course. Would you know how to fight someone without killing them?

-she was sorry she was late.

Sorry? SORRY FOR BEING LATE? What about being sorry for anything ELSE you've done?

"Don't worry about it," Millerna told her. "Come, we'll get your hand treated and then get you cleaned up."

Allen turned to Van. "Please excuse us a moment."

Gaddes damn near dove out of the way to avoid being herded out with the protesting Schezar girl. The hairs on the back of Van's neck stood up at the unreadable look Celena gave him over her right shoulder before she disappeared through the doorway. He shuddered.

The scar was there again.