Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ Mystic Wings ❯ Forbidden Love ( Chapter 16 )

Chapter Sixteen

Forbidden Love

 

Hitomi hadn't been able to relax as Folken drove her back to school. She got out of his car and thought about what he'd said back at the restaurant.

 

After his confession, she sat there with her jaw slack until she found the nerve to ask, “What? Are you in love with me?”

 

“Of course not. Don't be ridiculous! Not even you are that naïve, are you? I said I wanted a chance. I didn't say that I wanted you to go that far. Right now, I just want you to take a step or two out of your comfort zone and give me the chance to get to know you. That's all. We can take things slowly, but I do want you to understand my goal. That will be what's on my mind when we're together … from now on.”

 

Hitomi's skin began to crawl. She stuttered, “I'm too young for you.”

 

“Not in our world. In our world, all convention along those lines is abandoned because there are not many of us. Even you, now that you know what you are - could you even desire a man who wasn't strong like you? I'm not asking you to decide on me. I'm asking for a chance.”

 

She didn't have the courage to tell him that she was Van's wife. As soon as Folken told her his true intentions, she had this sickly feeling that Van knew this was going to happen. That was why he told her about Folken and what he had done to Van's parents … so that she wouldn't be tempted by Folken's offer. That was why Van wanted her to marry him … so she absolutely knew his feelings for her before he went away. And that was why Van didn't want her to tell anyone that they were married … so that Folken wouldn't make her a widow while he was in his brother's care.

 

Hitomi bit her lip and slammed Folken's car door when they made it back to the school.

 

Folken didn't seem to notice, but instead, bid her a quick goodbye and told her to think about their conversation. He reminded her that he wanted an answer by the end of the week. He wanted to know if she'd at least try a relationship with him, or if she was going to reject him out of hand.

 

Hitomi turned away from him, and found that she couldn't go back into the school. Making herself go to class just now would be too much; way too much for her to handle. Instead, she walked towards the bus stop and caught a bus heading towards downtown. She wanted Van's advice on how to deal with this situation, but as his advice was not to be had, she decided that the next most valuable thing was his steady black handwriting, so she was on her way to the bank to have a look at his letters to her.

 

Once at the bank, she took out their marriage certificate and ran her fingers along the signature of the confidant man who had signed it. She took out the wedding ring and put it on. She'd wear it from now on, even if she had to wear it on her right hand. Needing Van the way she did just now, she didn't care if there were consequences. It wasn't very bridal. No one would notice.

 

After she reread his notes, she left the bank. It was like going to a museum to see her husband's love for her, and it was brutal. Her feelings for Van were consuming her now. She felt more alone than ever as she paced the sidewalk outside.

 

She wanted to tell Folken the truth about her and Van. It would feel so good to stop hiding from the consequences of what they had done. However, she didn't believe for one second that Van had intentionally joined up with Folken. There had to be something that neither Folken, nor Dilandau, was willing to admit. What did they want him for? In any case, he was under their control; maybe like what Hitomi had seen Folken do to Principal Voris. Was Folken so desperate to have her that he would kill Van in order to free her for himself? A man who had killed his parents could easily kill his brother too. Hitomi couldn't chance it.

 

Van had been very serious when he spoke to her about how dangerous Folken was, so she found it difficult to trust that Folken was being honest with her. She believed Van - everything that he had said about Folken. He was not a person to be meddled with. An awful feeling was slowly inching its way into her mind. How far was she going to have to go to protect Van from Folken?

 

That was what she thought about as she walked aimlessly between the skyscrapers and through the October frost. Her mind felt muddled. She couldn't think straight. If she refused Folken without reason, other than that he obviously made her painfully uncomfortable with his dark eyes - so like Van's - what would be the result? Hitomi didn't know.

 

She thought about taking Folken up on his offer, but refusing to let the relationship advance to intimacy. But even friendship didn't seem safe. She kept thinking that he had made Principal Voris do what he wanted. He had probably used those powers for control to get himself his position as a counselor at the school, too. Couldn't he do the same thing with her if she didn't willingly go along with his plans? She couldn't risk letting the situation get like that. Even if Folken let her into his world enough that she eventually found the real Van - it would still be like a betrayal. She would have become friends with Folken in order to find him, but Van wouldn't want her if she'd compromised their love. Even if she'd only done it in order to rescue him from a terrible situation.

 

Hitomi felt even sicker as she walked. It didn't matter how much she moved, how much she evaluated the situation, how much she needed the information Folken offered, or how much she wanted to give up everything for Van. She had always been willing to give up everything for Van, including her relationship with her family, but it didn't matter how far she was willing to go - there were no options. There was no way for her to give everything up to be with him - no logical tradeoff. He was gone! She walked more and nothing was ever decided on, or could be decided on. She stayed just as confused as ever.

 

Being away from Van was really starting to wear her down.

 

At last, Hitomi got on a bus and went home. She got let off the bus a couple blocks away from her parents' complex. She saw Marlene and her father drive up into the parkade from the end of the block. Her dad was supposed to be picking her up from school, as well as Marlene, since she didn't have detention anymore, but she had stood him up. She hadn't done it intentionally, but she had forgotten completely because of her conversation with Folken. Hitomi wasn't wearing a watch, so she had no idea how long her dad had waited for her before he had given up and come home. He would probably have a few choice words to say to her when she got home. Ugh!

 

Hitomi dragged her feet.

 

Then she stopped walking and stood still. This sucked!

 

She sat down on the curb and questioned how cold she really was. Was she cold enough that she wanted to go into the apartment right away? She thought about going to Yukari's. She hadn't given Yukari her keys back, so she could take care of that. She stood up and started back towards the bus stop, when she heard a sound. What was it? Allen's motorcycle. What was he doing here?

 

Then Hitomi saw the most startling thing. He stopped in front of the complex and beeped his horn, and then he drove around to the alley. Hitomi took to her feet and followed him. What was he doing? Soon, she was running, and she made it just in time to see Marlene coming out the back door, but Marlene didn't make it in time to mount Allen's motorcycle. She couldn't - Hitomi was standing in the way with her arms folded and her legs apart with the nastiest scowl imaginable on her face.

 

“Marlene, what the FREAK are you doing?” Hitomi demanded, noting her sister's tight leather-looking pants and the look of flushed excitement on her cheeks.

 

Marlene looked surprised to see Hitomi, but she managed to say sweetly. “We're going on a date.”

 

“Allen,” Hitomi said, turning to look at him. He'd taken off his helmet and was looking at her like he was embarrassed and Hitomi thought he had every reason to look like that. What was he thinking? There was no way he and Marlene were a good idea, and he knew it! “Don't you think it's a little late in the year to still be driving your motorcycle? Shouldn't you put it in the garage until spring?”

 

“It's okay, `Tomi,” Marlene said, using Hitomi's nickname for the first time since she had been back.

 

“Allen, what are you thinking?” Hitomi asked loudly, still thinking she'd have better luck reasoning with Allen than Marlene. “We already talked about this. I asked you to stay away from her, but now I'm TELLING you.”

 

“This isn't any of your business!” Marlene shrieked.

 

“Right,” Hitomi said coldly. “Allen, talk quickly. What the HELL are you thinking? She's my freaking kid sister. She's not for you. She's in grade ten - GRADE TEN! What the … What are you thinking?”

 

However, Allen didn't answer her, but instead said quietly, “Marlene, let's go.”

 

Marlene moved to walk past Hitomi, but Hitomi grabbed her by the ear, and really lost her temper. “Marlene, we're going into the house, and I don't care how angry you are with me, but I'm telling Mom and Dad everything about this. Sneaking off to run around with Allen. Ohh!”

 

“Let her go!” Allen intervened, jumping from his bike.

 

“You, shut up!” Hitomi bellowed at him.

 

“Wait, Hitomi, this isn't what you think!” Allen said.

 

“I gave you a chance to explain things your way, but you didn't take it, so time's up. We're going in the house,” Hitomi said, holding onto Marlene's ear even harder and manhandling her sister.

 

“Give me a chance!” Allen burst, following them.

 

Hitomi stopped and turned Marlene around to face him. “Are you saying you weren't going on a date with Marlene?” Hitomi hated herself for phrasing it that way, because she felt like it made her sound exactly like her father. What else was she going to do? She couldn't let Marlene get involved with Allen. Allen would break her heart and leave her fragile forever at best. At worst, her life would end up more like Hitomi's with people she loved suffering - like Millerna. Hitomi couldn't have that! But she waited for Allen's response.

 

Marlene looked at Allen with pleading eyes, and Allen nodded, “That's what was going on.”

 

“Enough said. I warned you, Allen, but it's worse now. You come back here again and I'll freaking BURY YOU! YOU UNDERSTAND ME?” Hitomi screamed at the top of her lungs, and meant every word of it. Today was not the day to mess with her.

 

He nodded.

 

“Get out of my sight!” she said disgustedly.

 

Allen turned away like he was truly miserable, but also like he wouldn't do anything to stop Hitomi. Hitomi didn't wait to watch him leave as she turned Marlene back towards the complex.

 

Marlene screamed out for Allen and bellowed at Hitomi's cruel twisting. Hitomi wasn't moved to compassion in the least. She couldn't believe how stupid Marlene was being. Besides all of her other objections, her mind kept huffing, “Nine years older …as if!” Hitomi wanted to hit her, but managed to escape doing it as she hauled Marlene down the hall to the elevator.

 

After the doors had closed Hitomi finally let go of her and yelled at her. “Stop screaming!”

 

“Why did you do that? What have you really got against Allen?” Marlene was crying now and her cheeks were very red as her tears streamed.

 

Hitomi rolled her eyes, and didn't answer. When the door opened, Hitomi grabbed Marlene's upper arm and maneuvered her back into the apartment.

 

“What is this?” her father asked when the two girls came crashing into the living room.

 

“Dad,” Hitomi started, “Where did Marlene say she was going just now?”

 

“To Katy's,” he answered, taking off his reading glasses.

 

“Well, I just pulled her off the back of Allen's motorcycle. She lied to you. She was going on a date with him,” Hitomi said bluntly. “You remember him - that charming guy who brought me home like four hours late last time?”

 

“What?” he looked at Marlene like he couldn't believe what Hitomi said.

 

Marlene was huddled on the floor, behaving as rationally as a spoiled child who is on the brink of a temper tantrum. “You don't understand. None of you understand. I'm in love with him, and he's in love with me.”

 

“He's in love with you? Don't kid yourself. He's in love with anyone, but … more importantly, have you been sneaking off to see him other times besides today?” Hitomi asked.

 

“No,” Marlene said, looking at the ground.

 

“Don't lie, Marlene, you aren't near as good at it as some people I know.”

 

“Quiet Hitomi!” her father commanded, seeming to finally get his bearings. “Thank you for bringing her back, but I'd thank you to leave the rest up to me. Now, let me see,” he said, looking depressed and seeming to try to figure out how to proceed. They'd never had many family arguments, but since Hitomi came back they were having them all the time. “Obviously, lying to me is punishable, and running around with Allen,” - here he cringed - “is inexcusable. I'll have to ground you for two weeks.”

 

“What I did isn't near as bad as what Hitomi did. Allen is the leader of the Abaharaki. She promised you she wouldn't have anything to do with them from now on!”

 

Hitomi's heart dropped at what Marlene said. The consequences … Marlene had flipped the situation and now everything was Hitomi's fault

 

Hitomi put her hand to her mouth and sunk into the armchair that was by her.

 

“Is this true?” her father asked, white-lipped and furious.

 

Hitomi didn't have to answer because Marlene piped up with, “He is! He told me!”

 

“Hitomi?” he inquired quietly, waiting for her.

 

She sat there and wondered what she could say to her father. This was definitely the end of their relationship. It was unlucky that her mother wasn't home from work yet because now Hitomi would have to sort all this out without any support.

 

In the end, she simply nodded. “Do you want to hear an explanation?”

 

“I don't know,” he said quietly. It was like he, too, was realizing that his trust in her could never be restored - not now.

 

“So Dad, aren't you going to ground her, too?” Marlene burst, looking unhappy that her admission had not produced more fireworks. To Marlene's eyes, her father looked like he was calming down. She didn't realize that his still features were really those of a man who was trying to control ultimate rage.

 

Hitomi, knowing much better than her sister what was to come, said, “Marlene, I'll come talk to you later. Right now, I need to talk to Dad alone. Would you mind clearing out for a minute?”

 

Marlene looked at her father and he indicated that she ought to do what Hitomi said. Marlene didn't like this one bit. Thus far, she and her father had sort of been a team against Hitomi and their mother. With this new development, it looked like the power was shifting and that Hitomi was getting back in his good graces. It wasn't possible for her to understand that what was happening between Hitomi and their father was the result of a deep sort of wound … one that might never heal. They hadn't had many conflicts, so little Marlene didn't understand the significance of her betrayal of Hitomi's secret. She stood up angrily and rushed to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her, exactly like an angry little girl.

 

“I had been thinking that things were getting better with you,” he said, choosing his words very carefully. “I thought that you were going to shape up, but …”

 

“It hasn't happened,” Hitomi finished for him. “I'm sorry. I couldn't leave my life back there behind. I didn't even want to. If Van hadn't called you and arranged for me to come home, I would never have come home again to live.”

 

“No?”

 

“No,” she said, shaking her head, and finally speaking the truth to him. “I was so engrossed in what I was doing that I hadn't even thought to contact you and Mom to let you know that I was okay. I didn't think I'd ever come back.”

 

“And you were okay with that?” he asked, spitting the words.

 

“Yeah,” she answered, not allowing herself to be frightened by him. “I'm an adult now and I expected to live the rest of my life as an adult. Instead, I was choked back to this old life like a dog at the end of a leash. You wouldn't give me any freedom, and when I was good, you hardly gave me any rewards.”

 

“You don't have to live here!”

 

“This is the first I've heard of it. I thought you and Mom expected me to stay until I got my credits.”

 

“I can't believe that you didn't think of your mother and me when you were kidnapped at gun point in front of our very eyes! You ungrateful little …” he was livid and he was standing. Hitomi had never been hit by her father in all the years of her life. She had never seen him hit anyone, but she thought that he might.

 

“I'll get my stuff together,” she said quickly, before he could finish. “I'll leave!” Hitomi didn't wait for her father to answer, and instead went to the bedroom.

 

Marlene was lying on her bed, crying as if her world was over. Hitomi didn't speak to her but started to pack her cases. She was careful to only take the things that she had brought when she came home after she had been away with Van.

 

Oh! She loved Van! She didn't know why that was the only thing beating in her heart as she packed her suitcases. Her heart soared as she thought about how this thing with her family would free her. She'd practically been under lock and key while she lived with them, but now she felt like … she could do anything … like she really could give up everything to be with him.

 

After she packed her things, she went into the kitchen and got the phone to call a cab. She'd go to a hotel that night. No problem, Van had left her with plenty of money. Once there, she could figure out what she wanted to do. But as she started dialing the number, her dad disconnected the phone.

 

He had his back to her, but he said, “Don't go tonight. At least sleep in your own bed tonight and let me think about this. We can talk about this more in the morning with your mother here.”

 

Hitomi agreed and hung up the phone.

 

***

 

Hitomi paced around her and Marlene's empty bedroom. Marlene was speaking to her father and mother. Hitomi didn't want to see her mother. She knew her mother would pity her and try to see things from her point of view, but Hitomi didn't want her to try. Hitomi promised that she'd make it up to her mother somehow, but for this second the best thing Hitomi could do for her was stay clear of a family conflict. Hitomi planned to leave home so that she wouldn't spoil her parents' marriage by making them fight on different teams. It would be better if she just walked out now. If Van came back … no! When Van came back, she'd leave A.S.A.P. anyway, so there was no reason for her mother to break her neck for her now. She was an adult, even though she hadn't gotten her stupid high school diploma yet, but why did that even matter?

 

She sighed. It was because Van said it mattered.

 

Hitomi stopped pacing and laid down on the bed, firm in her resolve. If her mother came in, Hitomi would pretend to be asleep even if her mother kicked her in the ribs to try to wake her up.

 

Finally, the door opened, but it was Marlene who came in. She didn't seem to care if Hitomi was asleep because she started talking, maybe like she was talking to the wall, or someone who wasn't there, but Hitomi heard every word. “It's not hard to see why you live the way you do. That you just do whatever you want without regard for your family, or convention, or the rules, or anything. You met Allen and knew him for months, and yet a guy like that didn't move your heart. He's incredible, and still you weren't interested in him. If Allen doesn't do anything for you, then who can?” she asked, and then she paused to continue on slowly. “You must be strong - stronger than anyone. That's why you get kidnapped like a heroine in a novel and come back unscathed with a pretty dress to hang in your closet and a tattoo on your arm as if to scream that no one could ever be as cool as you if they lived to be a hundred. You're not even pretty.”

 

Hitomi opened her eyes at that statement. Marlene wasn't even looking at her. She was looking in the mirror, but there was no doubt she was talking to Hitomi, and saying such things out loud.

 

“Well, it doesn't matter. I saw Allen and I just knew that he was the man for me. It was love at first sight, except better than anything that could be explained that simply. Yeah, I'm fifteen and you don't think it's good to date a guy that much older. None of that matters. Dad says you're leaving, and I don't care. You can go straight to … hell.”

 

It wasn't in Marlene's nature to swear. She was naturally sweet, like a flower, so the use of this word really caught Hitomi's attention.

 

“And if you think your little threat to him will keep him away from me, you're dead wrong. He'll be back to see me tomorrow, like he's come everyday.” At this part she turned and approached Hitomi's bed looking down into Hitomi's green eyes with her pale blue ones. “And one more thing - if you ever touch me again …” Here Marlene hesitated.

 

“Don't worry,” Hitomi interjected, not batting an eyelash, and not letting Marlene finish a threat her baby sister couldn't keep no matter how pissed off she was. “I won't.”

 

Marlene left the room saying that she was going to sleep on the couch until Hitomi was gone, which suited Hitomi fine. It wasn't that Hitomi didn't care how her sister felt. She did. She just didn't think that Marlene had any idea how dangerous it would be for her psyche if she became emotionally involved with Allen - a man who would ditch her at the first excuse - when she was so young. Hitomi kept perspective during her sister's heart felt proclamation and soon it turned into nothing more than a hissy fit. Well, Marlene couldn't get with Allen. Hitomi wouldn't allow it, at least, until she was old enough. She wouldn't go easy on Allen if she saw him with Marlene again. It didn't even occur to her that she had had the same problem with Van.

 

Marlene would get over it and Hitomi wouldn't worry about it.

 

About a half an hour later, her mother did knock on the door, and Hitomi did what she had promised herself she would do, but unlike Marlene, her mother didn't make any confessions. Instead, she merely asked if Hitomi was awake and when there was no answer she went away.

 

Hitomi didn't cry when her mother closed the bedroom door. Instead, she made a pact with herself that she would make it up to her mother. Someday, she would come back and explain herself, but right now, she still couldn't tell her everything - not yet.

 

In the morning, Hitomi got up before the rest of the family and took her bags with her to the bus stop. She had some idea of asking Yukari if she could stay with her for a few days until she found an apartment to rent. She wanted the company and Yukari never asked her questions she couldn't answer. Yukari was a great friend and Hitomi was very happy that at least she was still in her life.

 

And then on top of absolutely everything else that was driving Hitomi into the ground - there was still one more problem. What was she going to tell Folken? He said he wanted her to be his lover.