Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ Mystic Wings ❯ Heart of The Dragon ( Chapter 22 )

Chapter Twenty-Two

Heart of The Dragon

 

Hitomi and Van sat up and talked until the break of day when the wind howled outside their window and the fire roared even louder. Van was hurt, but not so hurt that he would let Hitomi be cold, so he wouldn't let the fire die down. Hitomi held him in her lap and told him all the things that happened to her while he was away. She even had the nerve to make some of the less fun things sound funny, so that he would laugh. He still looked absolutely wretched and she wanted to make him smile.

 

During a lull in their conversation, Hitomi decided to talk about one more important thing. “Van, can I ask you something?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“When can we finally tell people that we're married? Dryden already knows. I couldn't keep it a secret from him.”

 

“I thought we agreed that we wouldn't tell anyone?” Van asked calmly, but his temper started to come out by the time he finished asking his next question. “So, why did you think it was okay to tell him?”

 

“I didn't tell him!” Hitomi said quickly in her defense. “He just knew. That's why he knew not to hit on me. He said the second he saw me it shone in my aura that I was married to you - The Dragon - Ace of Serpents … whatever! Boy! You're jealous! And you always seemed so confident before.”

 

Van smirked, “You're cute.”

 

“All the same … stop obsessing over Dryden. I guess I can understand why he would seem threatening, but when I met him, I just thought he was creepy. He knew it too! I didn't try to keep it a secret from him.”

 

“Oh,” Van said, smiling a little bit. “Was that a blow to his ego? I wonder. Oh well, as long as no one was kissing you, I suppose I'll try to keep cool.”

 

“Thanks,” Hitomi said, but even as she said it, she nearly bit her tongue out. As long as no one was kissing her? He meant her mouth, right? Cause, if he didn't, then both Folken and Dilandau had kissed her. She hadn't yet told him what happened in The Voltage Room with Dilandau or exactly what happened with Folken in his office. How was she going to tell him those things? Neither of them were really her fault. But, if she didn't tell him … what would happen if he found out from someone else? She'd have to bite the bullet. “Actually, even though Dryden was a complete gentleman, there were a couple of other people who weren't.”

 

Van looked startled, and like he was on the brink of freaking out. He sat up, putting some distance between the two of them and waited for her to explain.

 

She told the two stories of The Voltage Room as quickly as she could and hoped that he would understand. She couldn't explain about Folken as easily, and she wanted to start slowly. But please! He had to understand! But breaking news like this to him was horrible. Hitomi felt wretched to her core for having to say how she felt as she punched a guy who looked exactly like him, and especially that she had let Dilandau kiss her neck. She couldn't meet Van's eyes at all.

 

When she was finished he said quietly, “Do you want me to forgive you? Is that why you're telling me all of this?”

 

Hitomi was shocked. “Would you rather I kept it to myself and didn't tell you?”

 

“No, I guess not,” he said slowly. “As long as you don't expect me to like it. You said there was more than one guy who wasn't a gentleman. I assume you're talking about Folken. What did he do?”

 

“He sang. I told you that when I was dancing with Dilandau, Folken was singing and when I fought those guys in the kitchen he was singing then too. And then yesterday, before I came to see you, I went to his office to reject his offer and he started singing again. When he sings, I don't know what happens; it's as if whoever hears him does what he wants. They see what he wants them to see. I don't know how else to describe it.”

 

“Well, I've got Folken's powers right now as well as my own. The slices in my back prove it. Should I sing you a song and see if you'll do what I want?” he asked, mocking her.

 

“Don't be like that,” Hitomi said.

“Sorry. I'm not happy about this, and I find it hard to believe that Folken is that powerful. He can make people do what he wants? He got pushed around by Dornkirk all the time when I was at their hideout. So, what happened in his office while he was singing? What did he make you do?”

 

Hitomi got up. If he was going to act like this then there was no way she was going to stay with him in this room, but she had to tell him the truth before she left. Then he could be angry with her and decide what he was going to do about their situation. “He kissed my hands and removed my tattoo. He made me think that he wasn't a complete scumbag and that he needed to be taken care of - by me. Then your voice in my head snapped me out of it and I yelled at him. I think I even used your word for him and then he told me you escaped from the facility. I believe he said something like, `chase after Van if you want to, and come back to me when you're ready'. That's what happened. I'm going downstairs.”

 

Van didn't say anything to stop her and she went stomping out of the room like she was marching in a parade. It was light out now, and she walked through the house trying to figure out what to do with herself. She was considering curling up on one of the couches downstairs and going to sleep when one of the maids approached her and asked her if there was anything she could help her with.

 

“Are you hungry? Breakfast could be prepared very quickly,” the maid said.

 

Hitomi shook her head. “I wouldn't want to wake the chef.”

 

“Would you like to take a swim in the pool or relax in the hot tub?”

 

“Hot tub? Yeah, I'd try that.”

 

The maid led her down to the pool area and turned on the bubbles for Hitomi. She explained that the water was kept hot whenever Dryden visited.

 

“Would you like a …”

 

Hitomi stepped in - still wearing her boxer shorts and tank top.

 

“Swimsuit?” the maid finished, looking at Hitomi. Then she smiled and asked Hitomi if there was anything else she needed.

 

“If Van asks where I am, please don't tell him I'm here,” Hitomi said. She thought that they both needed a break. She had never imagined that she and Van would have a fight. They had never fought when they were on their vacation together. Fighting was something that she never thought would happen in her marriage. She hadn't seen her parents fight much until recently and it was a new experience for her. She wasn't sure how she and Van were going to resolve conflict.

 

The maid went away and Hitomi continued to think about her problems with Van. The water felt very warm though and soon she was looking at the long pool and thinking about doing some laps. Now that she wasn't going to school, she could do this sort of thing in the morning. Maybe, if she stayed here for a while, she could get to know Selphie better.

 

But soon she was thinking about Van again. Hitomi thought about that night that she'd spent under the stars and how Van had asked her to decide what she wanted from their relationship. She realized that this was another one of those moments when she was going to have to decide what she wanted. She had already made up her mind that she wanted to be with Van, so why did she have to make up her mind again? Especially since, at this moment, the problems seemed to be all on her end. She had tried to sacrifice to be with him, but everything she had tried to do while he was gone turned out all wrong. She had gone to school because he wanted her to, and she went to The Voltage Room twice in order to find him, but nothing she did worked out, and now it just looked like she had been untrue. She hadn't been unfaithful in her heart.

 

She turned around and rested her elbows on the side of the hot tub, and moved away from one of the jets. It was a stupid test that little girls tried on their boyfriends - running away to see if he would come find her. It seemed unfair to try it on Van. He was hurt. He might not be able to walk through the mansion to look for her. Hitomi remembered the cuts on his back and how lightheaded he seemed. He said he'd lost a lot of blood. Why hadn't she taken biology? She had no idea how much blood was safe to lose. Not only had they been draining him, but he had bled from his wounds as well. He wouldn't have the strength to come find her. She was being immature.

 

The maid came back with a large terrycloth housecoat and set it down on a chair by the hot tub. She told Hitomi that there were two shower stalls off to the side of the pool if she wanted to take a shower before breakfast and that if she was interested she could have breakfast with Dryden and Selphie in an hour in the dining room. Then she went away.

 

Hitomi wasn't used to servants and the very appearance and attitude of the girl rattled her. Hitomi tried to remember that it was her job and that it was probably a good job too. Dryden was probably a lot of fun to work for. He was so laid back that things could be done at a leisurely pace, as long as they were done.

 

Hitomi didn't know how long it had been, but she was warm enough and so she got out and went to take a shower, like the maid suggested. She was starting to get hungry, but more than that, she was extremely tired. She had been up half the night with Van and thought that maybe she could find a way to catch up on some sleep since she didn't have to go to school.

 

After her shower, she went back into the pool area in order to go up to the dining room. But as she stepped out, she saw Van. He was pacing back and forth, not exactly hobbling, but moving as though it wasn't easy for him. Hitomi jumped backwards to avoid being seen by him as he turned around and started pacing towards her. She wasn't sure if she wanted to see him, and he was so close that she didn't think she would be able to avoid him if she came out of the shower that way. Did he know she was there? But if he knew, why not bang on the door and ask to talk to her? There was no reason for him to wait outside.

 

Hitomi was about to turn around to see if there was a better way out when Van started talking, and from what he said it was clear that he didn't know she was there.

 

“I just need to calm down and bring everything into focus,” here, he took a deep breath in and moved to do another circuit. “Dilandau kissed her. Folken kissed her,” Van continued bitterly. “I guess we should be starting a club. It's no wonder that she attracts this much attention. I should have guessed that it would be a problem, even after we were married. I thought that once we were married, all these problems would be over. She'd be mine and I wouldn't have to worry about other men trying things with her. Yeah, don't tell me - I was being stupid.”

 

Hitomi realized she was listening to a conversation he was having with himself. While he was speaking, she looked around for a cell phone or an earphone, but he was wearing neither. He was just pacing, but he was talking about her. He was saying things that he couldn't tell her, and she needed to listen to them. It was underhanded, but she needed to listen.

 

“She's a goddess, eh? I can easily believe that. Of course she is. She's the kind of woman who would bring even a murderer like Folken to his knees. I'm an idiot to believe that she could love me. She acts like she still cares, but it's been months since we've been together, and even now, she will hardly touch me. She says she's worried about me because of my back. She doesn't want to hurt me, but is that really the reason? I wouldn't care if she ripped my wounds open afresh if I was only certain that this time apart hasn't ruined us. It has, hasn't it? And I can't bear it.” His hand was at his forehead and he was talking louder. “She has all these new friends who know way more about our situation as Tarot users than I ever did. I must seem like a pretty stupid guy compared to everything Dryden has told her. And I was low enough to act like I doubted him. I wouldn't trust him alone with Hitomi for five minutes, but he obviously knew something by the way he reacted when I said that Folken was working for The Devil. I've never seen another Tarot user besides Folken, Hitomi and Dornkirk - and Dryden is obviously one of them, too. Why do I act like such a jealous idiot? Why can't I just trust her?”

 

Here, he stopped pacing and went to sit at a chair closer to where Hitomi was hiding. She thought he might see her, but he was completely engrossed in what he was saying. He threw himself in one of the deck chairs, rested his elbows on his knees and continued talking - slower this time.

 

“Is it because she didn't throw her arms around me when she found me at Flo's? Is it because she didn't know innately that I was there for a whole week before she showed up? Do I think she should have known? How could she have known? I'm the ass who asked Allen not to tell her when he went to go break up with Marlene. I should have begged him to bring Hitomi to me immediately. Why the hell did I think I could endure the pain of those wings alone? Why did I think that I had to? She could have come - the sight of her would have been a blessing to me. Why do I always make both of us go through things the hard way? My aunt hates her because I can't confide in her that Hitomi is `the' girl. Her family hates her because she's outgrown the apron strings and they don't want to let her go. Even thinking about the rest of what she's been through without me is enough to make me … look like the bad guy in all this for putting her through it. Sure, she wasn't bled like I was, but after everything - it's a miracle she didn't ask for a divorce when she found me. There are enough men who want her - she'd never be lonely … and that's my problem … my real problem. I'm always alone.”

 

Hitomi gulped. Van had never complained about these things to her before. He had always seemed so strong and immovable, like nothing ever bothered him. He kept all these things inside him?

 

“Being with Hitomi for those few weeks was like a dream. I could even stay close to her during the night and didn't have to go away. I want those days back, and they'll never come back. It feels like all of that is over and that she's somehow moved on past me, and I can't catch her. And that hurts because I don't want to let go. She even laughed about how angry her father was when she and Allen showed up at four a.m. How strange - she laughed. I still feel the connection with her when we talk, but she didn't even try to comfort me when she confessed what happened with Dilandau and Folken. She seems angry with me for being jealous. Is that because she feels guilty, or because she doesn't want to defend herself? Either way, she seemed to think that I shouldn't be hurt. Like hell I'm not hurt.” He paused, “But how do I make things better? Does she even want to be with me anymore? It's been nearly three months and that's a long time. People move on from relationships faster. We were only together for four months to begin with … I'm too scared to ask her. She could move on from me, but I could never move on from her. There's no one else for me. I'm a monster.”

 

Hitomi nearly got up here to contradict him and tell him that there was no way he was a monster, but he was laughing. It was a quiet cynical laugh that seemed to come from the bottom of his stomach. She dared not interrupt him until he pulled himself together.

 

“Why can't I just be honest with her? Why can't I flake out and say how hurt I am that she let these guys take advantage of her? I'm so disappointed. All those weeks away from her, I lay in that stupid bed and thought about her. I thought about everything about her until I couldn't remember anything about myself except that I was in love with her.”

 

What was he saying?

 

“I thought about how her ankles looked when she wore sandals and the way her shampoo smelled - strawberry vanilla. She sleeps on her back with her hands over her head and I would imagine drawing her close to me,” he said dreamily. Then he continued, sounding raspier than before, “I never would have imagined that one of those nights I dreamed of holding her that she would be at The Voltage Room dancing with Dilandau. Why can't I just let it go? She was with me last night. Why can't that be enough? I really want her to be faithful, and … hell, I want her to be my mine.”

 

Hitomi jolted and somehow the towel dropped out of her hair and fell on the floor. She hadn't even noticed that it was slipping. She didn't know if Van noticed, but she decided to come out of her hiding place and to go talk to him.

 

“Van,” she said quietly, and his head snapped around at the sound of her voice.

 

“I asked the maid where you'd gone. She said that she only knew that you weren't here, so I came here to figure myself out. Did you hear me talking?” Van asked, across the pool deck. His voice echoed. He looked more handsome than before. His eyes weren't so black and some of his natural colour had returned to his face. The angles of his features seemed sharper when his mouth was drawn taunt. Maybe he looked so gorgeous because he was beat up.

 

“I don't know if I heard all of it,” she began, each word sounding far apart with too many seconds in between. “You always seem so mature; it was weird to hear you talking like that.”

 

“Oh? Are you disappointed in me? It hardly matters now anyway,” he said dryly - his face returning to the face he wore that was confident, concise and infinitely powerful in Hitomi's eyes, but this time she knew that it wasn't real. It was just the face he wore for people to make them believe in him. It wasn't really who he was. He was just like everyone else. He was weak sometimes; sometimes he was strong. He wore the mask so well, though, that sometimes Hitomi forgot the lesson she had learned about him - that he was a real person, too.

 

“It does matter. I didn't mean to hurt you. I guess I left out the part of the story where I say that I went to The Voltage Room to make Dilandau tell me where you were. I agree that I shouldn't have danced with him, but at the time, I didn't understand that it could go so wrong. When he changed into you, I was so … ecstatic to see you. It's you I want to be with, Van. It's always you I want to be with. I haven't changed my mind. I never even thought about changing my mind. It's you.”

 

He looked at her, and there was hopelessness in his eyes. “I wish I could believe you.”

 

“No, Van … don't do it this way. Don't put us through this. I'll prove it to you!” she asserted, trying to think of what she could do or say to change his mind.

 

“Then come here, Hitomi,” he said urgently before even a heartbeat had passed. “I don't want you to treat me like an invalid. I don't care if it hurts for you to put your arms around me, but you must do it if you want to convince me that you still want a relationship with me.”

 

For Hitomi, it hadn't just been that he was injured. That was not the only reason why she had been hesitant to be close to him. She didn't want to jump all over him and be overanxious if that wasn't what he wanted. And she was shy. They had come so far in their time together at the cabin and now she felt shy, but damn it - she wasn't going to lose him over something like this.

 

She covered the space between them with long fast strides and put her arms around his neck.

 

As soon as she was within his reach he pulled her close to him and he covered her mouth with his. It was the kind of kiss that enveloped everything and made the room midnight black, leaving the two of them alone in the dark. Van showed everything that he had felt for months, all the pent up emotion intensified with the touch of his lip. It was the kind of kiss that a man only used when he'd had been taken past his limit. He'd been kept at arm's length for long enough, and he hated being discarded. He couldn't leave her alone - he was her lover and he couldn't help but want her, feel jealous of her time, feel desperate for her love, and fearful that her feelings for him would fade and disappear.

 

Only she could satisfy him. If she wasn't really his, with this, she would be.

 

Then came the heat Hitomi had been waiting for, and she melted.