Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ The Counselor series ❯ Van and Folken ( Chapter 1 )

Author's Note: This was written during a brief moment of pure insanity. I would also just like to point out that my grammar and punctuation is really bad, so please don't flame me about that because I already know. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Visions of Escaflowne or any of the original characters from the series.

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Doctor Smiley's Office 1:00pm

DS: (over intercom) "Ms. Marshal has my 12:30 arrived yet?"

MM: "No Doctor, not ye…"

(Suddenly heard over the intercom)

Unidentified voice: "Fu** you brother".

MM: "They're here".

DS: (sets up his recorder and puts it in the top drawer of his desk) "Send them in".

Door opens and in walks a tall blue haired man; with a tear drop tattoo and a mechanical arm. Behind him is a shorter teenage boy with raven coloured hair.

Blue haired man: "Sorry were so late, someone was being very difficult".

Raven head boy: "Oh sure blame me. You're the one who had to stop to use the washroom".

BHM: (blushing) "Shut up you little sh**".

RH: "Look who's talking".

BHM: "Oh that's it" (prepares to throw the younger boy through the wall).

DS: "Alright that's enough. Thanks to you two I won't get to have lunch. Please take a seat".

BHM (sits in the seat closest to the wall).

RH: "What the fu** Folken I was going to sit there".

Folken: "Too freakin bad".

Van: "I hate you".

Folken: "Yeah well I hate you too".

Van: "Geek".

Folken: "Brat".

DS: "All right gentlemen that's enough".

Van: "Cyborg Freak"

Folken: "Anorexian".

Van: "Oh your Fu**ing dead" (jumps on Folken and are both rolling around on the floor beating the crap out of each other).

DS: "ALL RIGHT THAT'S IT, SHUT THE FU** UP AND SIT DOWN IN A DAMN CHAIR".

Both immediately sit in a chair. Van sticks his tongue out at Folken. Folken does the same back.

DS: "All right now let's start off with something simple, what are your names?"

Folken: "My name is Folken Fanel and this is my little jerk brother Van".

Van: "I can speak for myself, you moron".

Folken: "Why you…"

DS: "All right that's enough. (Sighs) This is going to be a very long session. I can feel it."

Van: "Feel what? (Turns to Folken) What's he talking about?"

Folken: (shrugs).

DS: "Okkkaaayyy. Well let's start off with why you're here?"

Van: "Because the damn court made us, they seem to think we need counseling on how to get along. Which is just ridiculous, the nerd and I get along great right Folken?"

Folken: "Mm hm".

DS: "Uh huh. Okay well why don't we start by you two telling me what you think of each other?"

Neither says a word.

DS: "Okay well why don't you start Folken?"

Folken: "…"

DS: "Folken?"

Folken is carving "Folken was here" into the arm of the chair with his claw like finger.

Van: "Hey ass wipe answer the fu**ing Doc."

Folken: "Huh? What was that?"

DS: "(sighs) Please tell me what you think of your younger brother?"

Folken: Van is a whining, bossy little mother fu**er, who thinks he's never wrong but almost always is, he's pigheaded, smart mouthed, always rushing into things with out thinking and is a lousy ruler. I'd make a much better king of Fanelia.

DS: "Oh god. Alright now you Van".

Van: "My brother is a wussy coward who couldn't slay a dragon if it were already dead, he burned Fanelia to the ground…."

Folken: "FOR THE HUNDRETH TIME THAT WAS DILANDAU".

Van: "He betrayed his people and me, tried to kill me, and he thinks he's so smart just because he's a genius and…."

DS: "All right, all right enough. Oh I'm getting a headache. Let's move on, Van why don't you tell me three things you like about Folken?"

Van: "…."

DS: "Van?"

Van: "I'm thinking alright".

DS: "Never mind, how about you Folken?"

Folken: "Umm… hmm".

DS: "You can't think of anything you like about each other?"

Van and Folken: (exchange glances) "Nope".

DS: (smacks forehead) "Okay I think that's enough for today, I want you two to visit me once every week. See Ms. Marshal outside about appointments."

Van and Folken: "Yes Doctor Smiley".

Doctor Smiley pulls the tape recorder he had stashed in his desk out to rewind the session.

Van: "Wait a minute, what the fu** is that?"

DS: "My recorder".

Folken: "You were taping us?"

DS: "Yes I always record my sessions".

Van: "Well no one told us you were fu**ing going to be taping us".

DS: "Is this a problem?"

Folken: (to Van) "He probably takes them home and let's all his family and friends listen to the tapes."

Van: (to DS) "You freak".

DS: "I assure you I never let anyone listen to these tapes".

Folken: "Oh yeah, then why didn't you tell us you were going to be taping us?"

DS: "I didn't want you to feel nervous".

Van: "Ha, a likely story. Let's get him brother".

DS: "No don't".

Van and Folken jump on top of the Doc and pound the living crap out of him.

One hour later. Van and Folken are holding each other and telling each other how sorry they are.

Van: "(sniff) And I'm sorry about the time I ate your homework when I was one".

Folken: "(sniff) And I'm sorry for all the times I stole your blankie".

Van: "(sniff) I'm sorry about the time I decapitated Mr. Bear (sniff)".

Folken: "I love you brother".

Van: "(sniff) And I love you too brother".

The two brothers embrace both sobbing hysterically.

Folken: "We shouldn't be fighting, we should be looking out for each other".

Van: "Agreed, we should especially protect each other from sick perverted doctors like him" (points to Doctor Smiley who is unconscious on the floor).

Folken: "Yeah, come on Van let's get out of here, I'll buy ya a snow cone".

Van: "Ooh snow cone".

Van and Folken leave.

DS: (is slowly gaining conscious) "Well at least they're not fighting anymore".

A mug suddenly comes flying through the open door smacking Doctor Smiley in the face knocking him out once again.

Folken: "Nice shot Van".

Van: "Thanks brother".

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Heehee oh I am so bad. Now don't get me wrong I have nothing against Folken and Van. In fact I love Folken, he's my favorite character and Van's my second. I just thought this would make a funny fic. I hope you all liked it.

~Char~