Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ The Promise ❯ A last goodbye and a new hope ( Chapter 8 )

::Dislaimer::

I don't claim Escaflowne or any of its characters, but I do claim all of my original characters and ideas *smile* plus all the time and effort that has gone into writing this story!

 

 

Hurray! Its finally here! Chapter 8 of `The Promise'! Please no rotten fruit or stones. I am delicate. *blush* anyway…enjoy! I hope this can hold you over till chapter nine can finally be written *sigh* who knows how long that will be…CvR

 

 

 

The Promise

 

Chapter Eight

(A Last goodbye and a new hope)

 

 

In the midst of the cheerful congratulations Hitomi stared down at her hand. The cold sharp stone danced mockingly under the lights. This small object upon her hand tied her to the man beside her, but her heart refused the claim, and instead reached for the man sitting quietly a few feet in front of her.

Hitomi glanced up to find Van's gaze transfixed on the ring upon her finger. `Do not think the worst, please do not think the worst!' His eyes had yet to meet hers and she knew that even if they had, she could not convey all that she wanted with just one look. She needed to speak with him in private, she needed to explain! Sighing heavily she turned her attention from Van and looked up at the happily smiling man beside her.

Her fault…it was all her fault. In just a few moments she was about to wipe that happy smile from Alex's face and she hated herself for it. He didn't deserve to be hurt like this but there was no way that she could do this without the pain.

“Alex…” Hitomi waited for him to turn and look at her before continuing softly.

“I-I need to talk to you. Do you think you could join me out in the garden?”

Hitomi felt like crying when she saw his smile slip and a guarded look enter into his eyes.

“Sure, there are a few things I need to tell you about as well.”

Nodding in acknowledgement she allowed him to make their excuses and pull her gently from the well wishes of her family. Hitomi gazed strayed briefly to where Van sat, and for a moment their eyes met before Van turned and looked away. Her heart stuttered for a moment and she felt as if the wind had just left her, but she followed Alex quietly reassuring herself that in a few moments everything would be all right.

They left the din of the dinning room and made their way through the kitchen then out through the back door. Outside the evening air was crisp and cool carrying on the wind a faint hint of moisture as it whipped past them.

Hitomi followed Alex silently, releasing his hand only when they had reached the old willow close to the end of the driveway. Uncertain where to start, Hitomi leaned against the trunk of the tree and felt the familiar texture of its skin against her chilled fingers.

The tree had been here for as long as she could remember. It had witnessed many events in her life, and now it was about to bear witness to another.

Taking a deep breath Hitomi lifted her head and looked toward Alex as he plucked a dangling branch from above him.

`How do I start this?' Hitomi thought, struggling to find the words she needed to say.

“The nights are getting colder.”

Hitomi cringed at the high pitch of her voice, and glanced over at Alex to see if he noticed her nervousness.

Alex stood silently a few inches from her, the small limb he had plucked earlier twirling quickly between his fingers. His look was direct and his face dead serious.

“Hitomi, I love you…more than you could possibly know.”

Looking away quickly Hitomi held her breath for a moment and waited for him to continue.

“I am not blind to your feelings. I know you are not in love with me, but I love you enough to overlook that.”

Hitomi looked up as he stepped closer and felt her chest constrict. She had been so stupid, thinking only of herself when she had accepted his proposal. Not once did she fully think of what it might mean to him.

“Alex, please…I know that I was wrong…”

“Don't! I don't want to hear that you want to call it off. Please don't tell me that.”

Hitomi swallowed the lump in her throat and continued to gaze sadly into his bright eyes.

“I…have always been the selfish one in our relationship. I always knew how you felt about me Alex. But I never really thought about it much, because I was always too busy worrying about myself.”

Looking down at her hand, Hitomi leaned against the trunk and wondered just how long it had been since she had first met the kind man in front of her.

“You have always been good to me, and I know you deserve better than this but…”

Reaching over with her other hand, Hitomi slid the ring from her finger and looked back up at Alex.

“I'm sorry…and I regret this more than you might think, but I - I can't marry you.”

Her hand shook as she extended the glowing band out to him.

“Don't…I waited a long time for you Hitomi, please don't tell me that it was all for nothing.” His voice sounded rough in the silence of the night and Hitomi knew that she was solely to blame for this situation.

With her hand still outstretched, she stepped closer to him and reached for his hand. Lifting it gently she placed the golden engagement ring in the center of his palm and slowly closed his fingers over it.

“It was wrong of me to accept your proposal, when I knew that I could not return your feelings. I…understand if you cannot forgive me but I want you to know that I never intended to hurt you.”

Hitomi looked into Alex's broken eyes and felt her self-loathing intensify a million times over. This mans pain was her fault; there was no one else to blame for it.

“…I'm so sorry…”

“You can't return my feelings? Then why…why?”

Hitomi released his hand watching as it fell limply to his side.

“I- have loved someone for a very long time now. He was someone I thought I had lost a long time ago. Even though I thought I would never see him again, my heart could not let go of him…”

“Its him, isn't it? That man in there...Van…”

Hitomi hesitated in answering him, but knew he deserved the truth. Staring into his hurt filled eyes Hitomi forced herself not to look away as she answered.

“Yes, I am in love with Van.”

“You love him? I don't understand! How can you love some one who disappeared for so long. Where has he been all this time?!”

Hitomi flinched at his angry words. She didn't know what to tell him about Van. There really wasn't any way she could explain just why Van hadn't been around. Helplessly she stared up at him willing him to understand.

Alex turned his back on her, shoving his fisted hands inside his jean pockets. His solid frame was stiff as he stared blankly at his surroundings. Hitomi could feel the tension radiating off of him and nervously turned to look back towards the warm light spilling from inside the kitchen.

`Coward! You got yourself into this mess. Stop looking for someone to save you.' Squaring her shoulders resolutely Hitomi turned to gaze at the angry man before her.

“I know this is hard for you to accept, and I can't really give you an answer to all your questions. All I can do is ask that you try to accept that I cannot be what you want. I will never be able to love you the way you want me too. So please, just…”

“Enough!” he hissed harshly.

Hitomi gasped in surprise as Alex swung around and pulled her tightly to him, his mouth hard against hers. For a moment she struggled against his embrace but soon realized she was trapped. His mouth took possession of hers as she tried to call out to him.

 

 

 

 

Van had watched out of the corner of his eye as Alex pulled Hitomi from the room. The need to follow them had been strong, but he knew that interfering at that moment would have gained him nothing.

So he had sat and waited for them to return. All the while thankful for his training as the next ruler of Fanelia for having given him the ability to express interest in his companion's conversation when all his attention had been focused on the clock in the hallway.

Van had ignored his instincts to run after them for several minutes now, but the gentle ticking of the clock was a constant reminder of his controlled reactions. Two minutes later and he knew that he could no longer sit and feign interest in his company. Politely excusing himself, Van left the room and began his search for Hitomi and Alex. No matter what the consequences he had to declare his intentions in front of his rival and Hitomi.

Passing by the kitchen window he spied their shadows towards the edge of the small garden outside and quietly slipped out into the cool night air. Slipping into the shadows just beside the windows Van stopped to listen as the wind whispered broken fragments of their conversation towards him. Hitomi's sweet voice was carried on the wind to him.

“…don't understand! How can you…where has he been all this time?!” Van frowned as he saw Hitomi flinch in reaction to Alex's angry words. Were they…discussing him?

Van tensed as Hitomi briefly glanced in his direction, but relaxed when he realized she hadn't spotted him.

Van strained to hear her response but the wind blew all but a few scattered words away from him. “…is hard for you to accept……as much as I……love you…”

Van's felt his heart constrict at her last words. `It can't…she couldn't have meant it like that…' He thought as he stared at the couple under the tree. His feet stood frozen beneath him as Alex turned and passionately embraced Hitomi. As he watched he could see her relax into Alex's touch and it was that more than anything that released him from his spell.

There was nothing for him here anymore. Hitomi was going to be married to the man kissing her so passionately only a few feet away from him. She loved Alex…not him.

A memory flashed through his mind of a scene very similar to this one back on a rain soaked day on a short narrow bridge.

Somehow it hurt so much worse now, than it had then. Why was that he wondered, as he quietly slipped from the shadows, and moved away from the brightly lit house.

“…Goodbye Hitomi…” He whispered softly, ignoring the cold as he slipped his shirt from his shoulders. Looking back once he thought he heard the soft sound of her voice flowing softly on the damp night air.

“…I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…”

Closing his eyes against the sharp gust he summoned his wings and launched himself out into the night.

 

 

 

 

 

He was too far gone. Hitomi knew that Alex was beyond reason at the moment, and all she could do was stand there and allow him this small revenge. His kiss, which had always been gentle, was now punishing. But still she felt nothing when he touched her. No fear, no excitement…no love. There had been times in the past when he had embraced her, that she had wished to feel something more for him, but there was nothing.

Had she never known the heat of Van's kisses, or the tenderness of Van's touch, perhaps she could have fooled herself into believing that she was feeling something for Alex. Unfortunately, she knew that that was impossible. Only Van could make her feel, only Van could consume her.

Closing her eyes Hitomi held herself still under Alex's impassioned assault, and waited patiently for the kiss to end. She didn't know how long she stood docile in his arms. It didn't matter because she knew that Alex, no matter how angry, would never hurt her.

Minutes later, or maybe only seconds, Alex's lips eased away from hers as he brought his forehead to rest against hers. It was then that she felt the cool dampness against her cheek.

“Why…why can't you love me the way that I love you…” He whispered brokenly.

Hitomi felt the tears rise in her own eyes at his words. A small tear escaped her, and left a wet trail along Hitomi's cheek as she stared down at the small buttons of his shirt.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…” She chanted softly wishing that somehow it would ease his anguish, but knowing that for him, they were just empty words.

All the years she had known Alex she had always counted on him as a friend, even after realizing that he had always wanted something more. Now, she couldn't even claim a friendship with him. Hitomi had lost that right, as she knew she would, the moment she had stepped out into that garden.

She felt his heavy breath against her cheek as he loosened his arms and allowed her to pull away from him. Hitomi gazed at him silently, unsure of what to say to him now that she had finally confessed her true feelings.

Alex stared at the ground his shoulders slumped in dejection. Hitomi knew that she had caused him a great deal of pain that night, but there was nothing she could say or do to help ease it. Looking away she cleared her throat softly.

“Hitomi. If you don't mind I think I need a moment…”

Hitomi blinked in surprise as Alex's voice suddenly cut through the silence.

“I…sure…” That wasn't really anything more she could say, she thought as she slowly turned and made her way back to the house.

Once Inside the kitchen Hitomi stopped and tried to gather her composure. The break up with Alex had been a lot more painful than she had expected and she still needed a moment before she faced Van and the rest of her family.

Drawing a tired hand along her cheek, Hitomi wiped the tears away and took a deep breath. Feeling better prepared she started towards the dinning room in time to see her mother come out, her arms loaded with dishes.

Noting her burden Hitomi rushed forward to give her mother a hand.

“Oh thank you dear. I think I took more than I could safely carry.” Smiling in response Hitomi glanced inside the room and found that Van was no longer inside with the others.

“Um, Mom where is Van?”

Hitomi's mother looked a little startled at the question.

“I thought he was with you. He left several minutes ago, I assumed it was to go find you.”

A sinking feeling began to settle in the pit of her stomach.

“Hey sis what's up?”

Hitomi turned to see her brother strolling towards her, a worried look on his face.

“Do you know where Van went?”

Her brother leaned his head out and looked past the corner of the door.

“Well he said he wanted to go wash his hands, and I thought I saw him turn towards the kitchen. Why, is he missing?”

Feeling the panic start to rise in her Hitomi took a deep breath and forced herself to stay under control. Looking towards the door she noted that Van's coat still hung along side hers. `Ok Hitomi stay calm, don't panic…' Hitomi thought as she tried to sense where he might be in the house. Unfortunately she couldn't sense him close by. He was gone.

Turning towards her brother Hitomi dumped her load of dishes in his arms and quickly made her way towards the front of the house. Grabbing her coat and Van's she swung the door open and turned to look back at her mother.

“Mom I'm sorry but I have to go! Thanks for dinner I'll call you later.”

She called as she quickly dashed from the house.

Hitomi didn't stop even when she heard her family's concerned voices calling her from where she had stood only moments ago. Nothing else mattered right now. She had to find him. She had to find Van before it was too late.

 

 

 

Van silently landed on the rail just outside Hitomi's apartment. It had been risky to fly in so close were anyone could see, but he was beyond caring at that moment. He had lost, Hitomi had found her happiness without him and there was nothing he could do. The best thing for her now would be if he left and allowed her to continue with her life.

Banishing his wings, Van stepped down onto the balcony and opened the sliding door. Inside he could see the shadows play against the walls as the lights from the courtyard filtered in.

It felt so empty without her. Not just this room, not just this apartment…everything. Everything felt empty without her. He had failed in his mission, and now he didn't even have the right to return home. He had gambled it all on the chance that she would still want him after so long. He had lost…it was over.

Walking slowly he pushed open the door of her bedroom and stepped inside. The room glowed softly by the light of the moon. The bed where he had held her, kissed her, now sat untouched. Cleared of all evidence of what had happened between them the night before.

Moving slowly, he circled the bed and sat for a moment allowing the clean scent that was Hitomi to surround him.

Leaning forward he reached beneath him and drew out his satchel. Inside was his ticket back to Gaea. Back to a world that he no longer belonged in, because even if his body was a million miles from her, his soul could never leave her side.

Drawing the bag tightly against his chest he closed his eyes and sat in defeated silence.

Drawing a breath he jumped as a loud knock sounded from the other room.

“...Hitomi? Hitomi are you in there??”

The disembodied voice made its way towards him and in a moment he was up and walking towards the door. He recognized the voice, belonging to Hitomi's friend, and automatically opened the door.

Just outside Yukari's rounded figure came into view.

“Van?”

“Yukari?” Van shifted awkwardly on his feet as Yukari's expression turned from one of surprise to one of cold anger.

“…So your still here? We all thought you had already left.”

Shifting uncomfortably Van stepped further back inside and turned his back to the door,

“I was just gathering my things.” He said quietly before starting back towards the bedroom.

“So that's it…you're just going to run away again? Why did you come here in the first place?! Hitomi would have been better off not having seen you again!”

Van stopped short just inside the bedroom and felt his own anger rise to the surface.

“Don't you think I know that already?! I know I shouldn't have come back but I needed to know!”

“What did you need to know? Just how much you made her suffer when you abandoned her five years ago? Did you need to know how many times she cried over you? What did you need to know?!”

In the darkness of the room Van turned to face Yukari and allowed the pain to wash over him.

“I needed to know if she still loved me…”

Yukari gazed at him considering, weighing his words against his actions. This man was not a very easy person to read but Yukari could see that his words were sincere.

“Did you find the answer?” She asked quietly.

Van stared at her for a moment before turning away.

“Yes.”

Yukari considered him for a moment before following after him.

“Then why are you leaving?”

Van ignored the question as he picked up his satchel and began to rummage through it. Satisfied that everything he needed was still inside, he tightened the tie and swung the bag up over his bare shoulder.

Van stared at the woman standing silently before the door and considered answering her. Should he tell her that he was leaving because he could not stand to watch Hitomi standing happily beside another man. Or should he tell her what he wanted to do to the bastard who took Hitomi away. How could he explain any of it? No, it was to late for that.

“I'm sorry Yukari, but I have to go now.”

Van tried to step around her, but she firmly grasped his arm and swung him back towards her.

“Wait damn you! Answer me! If you know that she loves you, then why are you leaving?!”

Van held himself still for a moment, letting her words wash over him. Hitomi loved him? No it was a mistake.

“You're wrong.” He said quietly, the soft denial seeming loud in the silence of the room.

“I'm not wrong!”

Van felt his arm stiffen under the pressure of her touch. How could he believe her when he had seen so much tonight that went against everything she said.

“She's engaged to be married, you are wrong.”

Yukari's breath left her in a disgusted sigh as she swung away from the stubborn man.

“I am not wrong. She cares for Alex, but she is not in love with him.”

Looking over her shoulder at his silent figure she considered how much to tell him to make him understand.

“You know five years is a long time to wait for someone who never said they were coming back. Alex has been by her side for many years, but it is only now that she has accepted his proposal.” Yukari paused for moment as she watched his shoulders stiffen.

“It wasn't the first time he asked you know, he wasn't the only one who asked, but she turned everyone away do you know why?” She asked quietly.

Van slowly shook his head without bothering to face her.

“She was waiting.”

Yukari inhaled deeply, hoping Van could see the answer even if she could not give it to him. As much as Yukari wanted to see them both together, this was something they had to figure out on their own. All she could do right now was give him a push in Hitomi's direction.

“Before you leave, talk to Hitomi one last time.”

Van's mind was reeling as he turned to look back at Yukari. What if what she was saying was true. What if Hitomi still loved him? Staggering a bit, he dropped his bag and turned towards the living room. Making his way over to the balcony Van stepped out into the night, and turned to glance back at Yukari.

“Thank you.” He murmured softly, as he summoned his wings and pushed off towards the night sky.

Yukari watched with wide eyes as a soft breeze blew pure white down in from the balcony. Reaching out a hand she caught a small feather as it drifted down before her.

Closing her hand slowly over the bright feather, Yukari offered up a prayer in the hopes that Hitomi and Van could finally find what it was they were searching for. Opening her hand slowly Yukari stared down at her empty palm.

Smiling softly she gazed out into the night and somehow knew that her wish had been granted.

Finally feeling a sense of relief, Yukari turned and made her way out of the apartment. She had her own someone waiting for her, and she didn't want to make him wait any longer.

 

 

 

 

 

Van soared high into the clouds and looked down over the lights from the city. This place was a marvel, a city so large it would be easy to lose someone and never know where they had gone.

Opening his mind Van searched for Hitomi's familiar presence. It was difficult to sense her among so many, but once he finally captured her aura it was an easy thing to trace her steps. Below him the clouds gave an angry rumble as they let loose a cry above the distant city.

Van pulled in his wings and allowed himself to fall forward. The howling wind and freezing rain drove towards him as he dove back beneath the clouds and made his way towards Hitomi.

No matter what the answers might be, Van knew that Yukari was right. He could not leave without speaking to her. If nothing else he needed to at least tell her about his own feelings. Speeding through the downpour Van slipped through the darkness and went to find the truth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

::Author Notes:: I know you guys waited a long time for this release and I apologize. I am not really sure what I am going to be doing with this story at this point. I think I may write up the next chapter then left it on indefinite hold, but nothing is decided yet. At the very least you can expect another chapter at some point.

The next chapter will contain a lemon which will not be posted on ff.net due to the fact that I don't want to be kicked out for a fourth time. I don't really want to give to much away about the story but suffice it to say that I already know where I am going with it.

Oh well thanx for sticking around and waiting for this next installment! How it meets with your approval! Till next time…

 

CvR