Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ With Eyes Unclouded ❯ Dreams of the Past ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter Three: Dreams of the Past

Horses.

Did I ever tell you that I really, _really_ hate horses?

Especially big black horses that sure don't like little girls like me.

Anyway, the horse snorted and pranced around a little impatiently, while Van was softly talking to it while he was checking the saddlebags. I backed away from it slightly, wondering how in the world I was going to mount this stupid brute of a horse. Van turned around, sensing my discomfort.

"Excuse me Lady." He whispered, moving closer to me.

I recoiled and tried to slip out of his reach, remembering what had happened a few hours before when he tried to get close to me, but his hands closed around my waist. I froze as he threw me into the saddle as if I was a rag doll, making a mental note not to meet him ever in a dark ally when he was mad. I sat there, my hands tightly closed around the saddle horn, as Van vaulted up in the saddle behind me, his arms brushing over me as reached out for the reins.

"You know you can relax; my bark is far worse then my bite." He said starting out the horse at a fast trot.

"I said I would come peacefully, I didn't say I would relax and have fun running around in the woods at night."

"Fine, have it your way, just be warned it is a long ride from here on out."

I yawned, "Good, I feel like catching up on some beauty sleep."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~I sighed. Hitomi had been asleep for about an hour now, her head lying on my shoulder like it used to so long ago when we where fighting Zaibach.

Oh God, why can't things be as they where?

She is so much the same, but yet different. Her hair still has the scent of roses that grow in the spring, like the ones in my family's cemetery. But, she isn't who she was when she left, her eyes are filled with something different then they where when she was taken away from me the Last Time, not filled with the love and longing for my touch that she know shies away from. Now they are filled with the pain of something I cannot protect her from… her lost memories.

When I saw her standing there, like a mermaid out of water by that stream so many hours ago; my heart was so filled with love and wanting that there is no words to describe it. I wanted right then and there to tell her that I love her and to hear her say that she loves me too.

But she couldn't… I was dead to her, like a dream that she had woken up from and cast away as foolishly childish.

Oh God, why can't things be as they where?

I laugh at the irony of it all; I had gotten back my true love to find that she couldn't remember me, that I couldn't protect her when she needed it the most. I didn't deserve the love that she had once showed me.

I was so afraid, that I was doomed to loose her again, as I had for so long in the visions of her that haunt my sleep even now, when she ran away from me after I had held her in my arms after our first kiss.

Our kiss.

I swore at myself just remembering it, no wonder she is now so afraid for me to touch her, she must think me mad.

I had dreamt of that moment for so long; how I would proclaim my love for her, how then I would sweep her off her feet like I had seen Allen do to her before. Then how it would feel to hold her in my arms again, and how I would realize she was perfect for me as our lips met.

But the fear I saw in her eyes as she stumbled back from me after my sweet embrace, that is something that would now haunt my sleep for many a moon.

I know that even when she finds her lost self, that she will never be the same as she was the last time I held her in my arms like this. Because, those three years we spent apart has changed me too… In more ways then even I thought possible. Before I met her I was just Van, not a king and most defiantly not a hero. But after she went back I changed as one would think a young king and Great War hero would… I grew up.

But I still would always love her.

And I could wait for the day when she too would love me again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I stirred slightly; keeping my eyes closed while still hoping that it is all just a nightmare… My head was resting against someone's shoulder; his tunic smells like the wind and the forest. The soft fibber of it is rubbing my cheek as I can feel his chin resting lightly against my head, his hands on my back, protectively holding me close. I can hear something… heartbeat. And the creaking of leather. I groaned; all my hope dying in that this is a dream.

"Welcome back to the land of the living." Van said quietly.

I snorted, but I didn't feel like being mad at him now, and opened one eye. "Are we there yet?"

"Yes. We are just outside of the palace stables."

"Wonderful." I sat up a little, leaning off of Van's shoulder so I could look around, but my body screamed in protest.

"You might be slightly sore… You had a rather rough night."

I nodded sleepily in agreement, and settled back onto his shoulder, far too tired to notice that he relaxed and was a little too happy in my doing so.

We stopped, and I felt his arms leave me, I jerked up straight, taking in a sharp breath, and ready to fight.

"It's just me." Van hissed in my ear. I relaxed a little as we dismounted; he was holding me close to him as if he thought I would run away from him again. But as soon as my feet hit the ground, my knees where like jelly, and a moan escaped through my dry and cracked lips as the world in front of me started to spin.

Van reached out to catch me as if he thought I had fainted, but I pushed away from him blindly trying to get away, but he overpowered me, gathering me into his arms like a young child.

I glanced up at Van, seeing that his face looked different in the light, and it was covered with dirt, sweat, blood and something that looked slightly like tear marks.

"Are you alright my lady?"

I nodded, burying my face into his shoulder, wishing that I could wake up… That I----

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I shot up right in my bed, out of breath and shaking with both fear and pain. No, this can't be real… it was only a dream… an illusion… I felt somebody's hand on my shoulder. I jerked around, afraid of having somebody where I couldn't see them. Van's worried face came into focus, frown lines creasing his face.

"You are safe now lady, you blacked out again." He said quietly, his eyes filled with unspoken worry.

I sighed and collapsed back against the pillows. Van glanced over his shoulder and motioned for a man and a woman who where talking next to the door on the edge of my blurry vision, to leave. After he was sure they left; he sat down on the side of my bed, about a foot away from me. As he sat down I saw that his hair was several shades darker then it was before and wet, and there was a large white cloth wrapped around his left biceps.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes, neither moving.

"So… um… how are you feeling?" Van asked.

I winced slightly as my left leg started to hurt. "I'll live. And you?"

He looked puzzled until he saw me looking at his arm. "This? I have had far worse then this, won't even leave a scar."

I rolled my eyes. "Men."

He laughed, the sound of it echoing around the chamber in the silence that followed it.

"If you need anything else, lady, all you have to do is ask the maid." He stood up, looking as if there was something else he wanted to say, but decided against it, and started to walk towards the edge of my blurry vision.

"Hey Van."

He stopped with his hand on the door handle. "Yes?"

I closed my eyes, and ready for unconsciousness to claim me. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For everything."