Voltron Fan Fiction ❯ I've Never ❯ I've Never ( One-Shot )

I've Never

By Houou and Liger Zero Schneider

Disclaimer: We don't own Voltron. Houou owns Kireihana.

AN: Kireihana is Allura's, shall we say, crazy cousin (Romelle's sister) in an AU fic that never got off the ground.

WARNING! EVERYONE'S DRUNK! YAOI, YURI, BISEXUALS, INCEST, AND NUDITY.

[Princess Kireihana draggs Allura and Keith to the rec room where Lance, Hunk, Pidge, and Sven are. She shuts and barricades the door.]

Kireihana: Okay, we're gonna play a game I learned abroad. We go around saying something you've never done and those that HAVE done that, have to take a sip of this. [pulls out hard lemonade]

Boys: ALL RIGHT!

Allura: Uh-uh. No way.

Kireihana: Way. I barricaded the door. [Allura pouts and sits down] Let's begin with, I've never piloted the Blue Lion.

[Allura, Keith, and Sven drink.]

Lance: I've never been kidnapped by Lotor.

[Everyone else grins as Allura drinks]

Keith: I've never talked to the ghost of my father.

[Allura sighs and drinks.]

Sven: I've never been in the Black Lion.

[Keith, Allura, and Kireihana drink. Don't ask.]

Allura: Ummmmm…..I've never cheated at cards.

[Everyone else drinks and give suspicious looks at each other.]

Pidge: I've never got beaten up by a girl on a sugar rush.

[Hunk drinks with a groan on his lips.]

{By now, most everyone is slightly intoxicated because of sipping out of turn. They can't be held accountable for what they say.}

Hunk: I've never walked in on someone naked.

[Kireihana laughs as she drinks.]

Lance: Don't say it.

Kireihana: Say what?

Keith: You know.

Kireihana: Oh, you mean…I've never used whipped cream for anything besides food.

Keith, Lance, Sven: AGGGGHHHH!!!!

[They drink]

Lance: I've never slept with Allura.

[No one drinks. Allura glares at Keith, while he ignores her.]

Keith: I've never slept with Hunk.

[Pidge drinks. Everyone stares at him.

Pidge: What?

[Allura begins to twitch]

Sven: I've never fallen out of bed during foreplay.

[Keith, Lance, and Pidge drink.]

Allura: I don't want to say something weird, so, I've never played this game before.

[Kireihana drinks.]

Pidge: I've never been in a threesome.

[Keith, Lance, Sven, and Kireihana drink.]

Sven: Kirei, who'd you have a threesome with?

Kireihana: Once, while you were gone, Keith and Lance invited me in.

[Allura goes pale.]

Sven: AND I WASN'T INVITED![throws pillow at the other two boys.]

Lance: We could have.

Keith: We'd have a foursome.

Allura: I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HEARING THIS!

Everyone else: BELIEVE IT!

Hunk: I've never slept with Keith.

[Lance, Sven, and Kireihana drink. Allura faints and falls to the floor with a thump.]

Kireihana: Okay, lets continue. I've never slept in any lion.

[Lance and Sven drink.]

Lance: I've never liked Allura.

Allura: [wakes up] I heard that. [No one else drinks.] You hate me! [begins crying]

Keith: I've never been turned on by a lion. [Everyone stares at him.] What? It's all I can think of!

Sven: I've never had sexual fantasies about Coran. [No one else drinks.] Go figure, ne?

Allura: [stops crying] I've never had sexual fantasies about Lotor. [Everyone else drinks] WHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'M SURROUNDED BY WEIRDOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pidge: I've never argued with anyone about what to be called.

[Kireihana and Allura drink.]

Hunk: I've never had sexual fantasies about Romelle.

Allura: Oh, EW!

Hunk: It's different for you, Allura, you two are cousins.

Lance: So why is her own sister drinking.

[Sven and Kireihana have drunk.]

Kireihana: [looks at her bottle] Ya know, screw the game, lets just get drunk!

Boys:YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-------------------------------- -

Hours later… Coran and Nanny bust the door down. Allura races to her room and locks the door. The boys and Kireihana are drunk as skunks and naked.

Keith: I bet we can beat Lotor right now!!!

Everyone else: Yeah!!!!!

They get into the lions and pilot them toward Doom to kill Lotor's newest Robeast. While still drunk and still naked.