Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction / Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Red Shaman ❯ If You Don't Want To Love Me ( Chapter 27 )

Sorry moimoi-chan this is a necessary thing because it cues in to the next few chapters. Next chapter. I promise.

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If you don't wanna love me
Then I'll find somebody else who will
Find another kind of thrill
Find another way to fill this loneliness
If you really wanna know me
I guess you better show me
Is it real or is it phony?
Just love me or leave me alone

 

“Skye, I don't want anyone to know about this. Understand?”

 

“Maybe it can be changed. You could avoid going on this mission,” she said.

 

“How? Brad would have my ass and not in a good way.”

 

She sighed and ran her hands through her hair. “I don't know. We've figured out how to keep the kids somewhat safe on this mission. It shouldn't be a problem to get around this too.”

 

Schuldig shook his head. “You don't believe that any more than I do.”

 

“I can't just idly stand by while this happens,” Skye said firmly. “There has to be a way.”

 

“Don't stress on it,” he said, pushing a piece of hair out of her face. “No one else will care.”

 

“I care.”

 

“Why?” he asked, genuinely bewildered.

 

“Because you're my friend. Do I need any other reason?”

 

He smiled and spun her into a dance to the music that was still playing. “Funny, I've never had anyone call me a friend before.”

 

She looked at him oddly. “Really? I don't understand why. No one in your team has ever called you a friend?”

 

“The team usually calls me the evil smirking bastard.”

 

She smiled. “Which is something you take great pride in, of course.”

 

“Naturally. I especially don't want Brad to know about this, Skye.”

 

“I've seen it, so he probably will too.”

 

“Block it for as long as you can.”

 

“Why?”

 

Schuldig dropped his forehead to her shoulder and held her tighter. “If he knows, then he'll come to me out of guilt and pity. I don't want that.”

 

“But you'll take him out of jealousy?”

 

“Jealousy at least lends its self to some form of interest. If he hasn't figured it out by this point,” he shrugged and left off the rest of the sentence.

 

“So, you don't think he cares about you? Why all of this then?” she said, indicating the two of them and the little game they'd been playing.

 

“It was fun. And at least, Sunny does care about you. To the point of wanting to kill me. Too bad someone else is going to beat him to it, huh. Come on, dying can't be that bad. Look at you and Star.”

 

“It doesn't always work that way,” Skye said. “We had ties to this world. Things that we still needed to do. It usually focuses on what you believed in life. Whether you were a good or bad person, believed in reincarnation, a whole myriad of different things come into play when you cross over. As I understand it, it's different for every person. Which is as it should be.”

 

“Makes sense more than anything else I've heard does. But back to Brad not caring about me, he doesn't. Well, he does in a weird kind of way. But nothing that could be called affectionate.” He sighed. “I'm a thing to him. A possession or tool to be used and set aside when it suits him. I'm his telepath. Just like Nagi is his telekinetic and Farf is his psycho. Though Farf really isn't that psycho anymore. Unless you count him freezing me to the chair.”

 

“You have to admit that it was funny.”

 

“Yeah, I guess it was.”

 

He put an arm around her shoulders and they started walking back to the house. Leaving the CD player going in the garden. Schuldig smirked and said that someone else would enjoy the musical cue coming up in another couple of songs.

 

“I think you're wrong about him though,” Skye said.

 

“What makes you say that?”

 

“Because, every time he sees us together he has the same reaction.”

 

“Which is what?”

 

“Feels like he's been kicked in the stomach. Repeatedly.”

 

“Mein Gott! You can get past his shields?”

 

She nodded. He stopped, wrapped one arm around her and put one hand into her hair then kissed her. Thoroughly. And in full view of one Mr. Bradley Crawford. Who suddenly felt as though he had been kicked in the stomach and in the chest.

 

“I really do love you,” Schuldig said smiling. What's he feeling now?

 

Like he'd rather be shot than have seen and heard this little episode.

 

That'll do as a parting shot.

 

I think you need to tell him and let the chips fall where they may.

 

I could say the same about you and Sunny.

 

Yes, you could.

 

He winked at her and they walked up to the doorway.

 

“Goddess said there was to be a meeting in twenty minutes and to get everyone to the planning room,” Crawford said.

 

Skye nodded and Schuldig shrugged. “Okay. We'll be there.”

 

“I need to talk to you for a minute, Schuldig.”

 

“I'll meet you in the planning room, Skye,” Schuldig said, letting go of Skye's hand.

 

She nodded and walked away. Schuldig turned to Crawford, half expecting to see the vein throbbing in his forehead that he always got when he was angry. He hadn't been expecting the thoroughly confused and slightly hurt look on the other man's face.

 

“You do realize that she's dead, don't you? She walks and talks and has a physical body but she isn't alive anymore.”

 

“I don't know,” Schuldig said thoughtfully. “I think she's more alive than most people I see in the world.”

 

“You can't just . . .”

 

“Can't what, Brad? Can't love her? Can't think she's beautiful and wonderful, strong and amazing? I can't and don't deserve someone like her? Hell, I know that.”

 

“That wasn't what I was trying to say. Why her?”

 

“Because she's never pushed me away. Or held me at arm's length until I'm too tired to fight anymore. She's never refused to talk to me for weeks because I've done something stupid. She talks to me not at me. Because she cares about my opinions. Cares what I think and feel. She knows who and what I am and still wants my company. She wants me around for who I am not what I'm capable of doing. I matter to her. Are those enough reasons for you, Bradley? Or do you want the rest of the list?”

 

“You matter to me too,” he said, so quietly that Schuldig almost didn't catch it.

 

Schuldig threw out his arms in exasperation. “As what? A colleague or co-worker? Not happening. Friend? No way in hell. Lover? Been shot down so many times on that one I have holes in my clothes and my hair is singed from it. Eventually, even I give up.”

 

“Have you?”

 

“Have I what?”

 

“Given up.”

 

Schuldig rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. “Does it really matter anymore?” he said, turning on his heel and walking away.

 

*******************************Author's Notes**************************************

The song is If You Don't Wanna Love Me by Cowboy Troy. Mind you I hate country music and rap more than I hate television evangelists and since this song is both I should loathe it to the core of my being. But I really love the song and thought it was fitting.