Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ a few drinks in Aya ❯ Chapter 18 ( Chapter 18 )

Chapter 18

 

 

Finally there was some quiet. He'd listened to Omi and Ken chew Aya out about what he'd done for the past twenty minutes now. Aya hadn't said a word. Normally he'd have glared and stormed off, but he was taking it. Yohji knew Aya didn't feel guilty, so he had no idea why the man put up with it.

 

Yohji blew out a puff of smoke, this was the only thing calming him down to let him think about things. He hadn't even bothered to change out of his mission gear, he'd gone straight for the bed and the smokes.

 

Yeah, Aya had screwed up pretty bad, but in his own way he'd tried to apologise. Yohji could tell by the way he'd been standing that Aya was going to stand there and let him smack him around a bit. Then he'd offered sex, something Yohji knew he really didn't think he would enjoy. He'd seen the look on Aya's face when he'd walked away. Part of it was confusion, but the other part was hurt.

 

He'd said a few quick words to Omi to let him know what was going on, and then he'd gone to his room to light a few cigarettes. He thought it was probably the best way to keep Aya from coming in and kicking his ass for ratting him out. Aya wouldn't come in with this much smoke in the air.

 

It had seemed like a good plan at the time. But now he found he wanted Aya to come in. They needed to talk.

 

Yohji put out his cigarette and slid off the bed. He might not have a lot of time left with Aya, so he'd better make things right between them so that he could enjoy what time they did have.

 

Besides, leaving Aya alone when he knew he was a target was a really stupid move on his part. He'd left Aya alone outside. He hadn't even thought that someone might be there right that second.

 

Yohji knew that Aya would be in his room. There was no way he was going to stay anywhere near Omi, not without having the lecture continue. And Ken was with Omi. There really wasn't anywhere else for him to brood.

 

Yohji walked down the hall to Aya's room and opened the door. It was very unlikely that Aya would've let him in if he'd asked.

 

“Aya, can we talk?” Yohji squinted to find Aya's profile in the dark. He was on his bed, doing…something. It looked like he was stitching his jacket. But why do it in the dark?

 

“Haven't we said enough?” Aya asked, his voice sounding worn out. It was different, though. It wasn't just worn out from hurt, it was like his body was worn out. What the hell was he doing?

 

“I need to be alone, Yohji. Its where I should be in the first place. None of this should've happened between us. Its making us weak.”

 

“I don't give a shit, Aya!” Yohji hit the lights. Aya flinched, but continued what he was doing, which wasn't stitching his uniform, it was stitching his arm. There was a huge gash from his shoulder all the way down to his wrist.

 

“When were they here, Aya?” Yohji couldn't see any signs of entry, so maybe Aya'd been on the balcony with his sword.

 

“Hn,” was all he got in answer.

 

“I get that you want to do the whole self-sacrifice thing. But you have to at least let us help. Okay? You made yourself their primary target, but you can't fight them alone. Neither of us are stupid enough to think there's only one of them.” Yohji paused, looking at the wound again. Wait. He'd seen wounds like that before!

 

“What the hell is wrong with you!” Yohji found Aya's sword laying haphazardly on the floor with blood on it. He stepped over it and stormed toward him.

 

“Yohji, I…” Yohji smacked him hard enough to make him fall over.

 

“Trying to kill yourself? And then what? Decided you didn't want to die after all?”

 

“I didn't want to die,” Aya said, sitting up. Yohji would've hit him again if Aya weren't losing blood already.

 

He grabbed Aya's arm and the needle and started stitching carefully.

 

“Then why cut yourself?” Yohji was as gentle as possible. The way Aya had been stitching himself was akin to how he'd been stitching Kaito before. He was making it hurt.

 

“I had to hurt and you wouldn't do it, so I did it myself. I offered for you to do it, but you refused me,” Aya wasn't looking at him. That was going to change. Yohji spared a second to grab Aya's jaw and force him to turn his head to look at him.

 

“Couldn't you have punched yourself or something? Run at a wall? I don't know! But damn! This is really deep. You could've lost the use of your arm!” Yohji resumed his stitches, going as fast as he could.

 

“People hesitate at the last second when they hit themselves. It's a fact. Besides, I know how to avoid arteries and ligaments. I didn't cut anything that matters. Its just skin.”

 

“Yeah, okay, cause that excuses it,” Yohji snorted. He tied it off and Aya snipped it before he had a chance to look for the scissors.

 

“What do you want from me, Yohji? I thought I knew, but…I don't understand.” Yohji smiled sadly, looking Aya in the eye. He reached up and lay his hand against his cheek.

 

“What the hell am I going to do with you?” Yohji leaned in and kissed him, carefully nudging his mouth open. Aya let him, but didn't try to quicken things like before. He was letting him take things slow.

 

Right now Yohji wanted nothing more than to press him back against the bed and make love to him, but not when he was looking so pale.

 

Aya probably wouldn't have gotten to finish his stitches if he'd continued on as brutally as he had been. Yohji considered himself lucky that he'd been there to take over. He could tell by the taste of Aya's mouth that he'd licked the wound a bit before stitching. He wondered what else he'd wasted time doing, if anything.

 

“Planning on wearing that orange sweater for the rest of your life?” Yohji snickered as he pulled away. It was one of the few things Aya owned that would cover a wound that size. Aya hadn't been about to broadcast it to them, so it would've been at least a couple weeks before it looked decent enough to show.

 

“I was going to break something in the shop when I'm alone so that I can claim that I was hurt at work. Then there would've been no questions. I'm not stupid. I wasn't about to let Omi and Ken or you see it until I could come up with how it had happened. I didn't do it for attention. I did it to calm myself down.”

 

“Ever had to calm yourself down like that before?” Yohji wondered how many times Aya had gotten away with it. They were hurt on missions all the time. He hadn't even thought once to take stock of how many injuries everyone received to know if any were self inflicted. Hell, he'd never even thought any of them would do something like this! He sure as hell hadn't ever done something like that before! But then again he blew steam with sex and drinking, Ken with soccer and Omi, and Omi…what did Omi do to get rid of his troubles?

 

“None of your business,” Aya answered, which was a definite yes.

 

“When was the last time?” Yohji laughed when Aya held up his freshly stitched arm.

 

“Smart ass! No really! Where was it?”

 

Aya just rolled his eyes and pulled off his shirt, which, Yohji had expected to show a scar that Aya was going to point to. Instead the redhead climbed under the sheets and patted the bed beside him.

 

Yohji slid off his coat and shirt and climbed into the bed beside Aya. He lay his head on the pillow beside Aya's, only a few breaths away. He ran a hand through Aya's hair.

 

Aya smiled at him. Seeing Aya in a dark moment had been worth it, he'd finally seen him really smile. It wasn't the smile he used when Aya-Chan was around. This was different.

 

“If you weren't only half-conscious right now I would make love to you.”

 

“I don't need to be conscious for that. Go ahead,” Aya said, his smile vanishing like it had never been there at all.

 

“Like hell. I want you awake, I want you healthy. I won't hurt you.” Yohji kissed his forehead before turning onto his back.

 

Aya leaned in close to his ear “I'm beginning to wonder if you really want me, Yohji. You've walked away from it twice now.”

 

“Trust me, Aya. When the time is right, I'll show you how much I want you.” Yohji expected Aya to turn away and sleep on his other side. He was shocked when Aya dropped his head down onto his shoulder and wrapped an arm loosely around him.

 

“Night, Aya,” Yohji smiled as Aya grunted in response.