Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ A Spoonful of Sugar ❯ Practically Perfect ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Just in case you thought I'd vanished again...
*****


Schu scowled at the bellboy's ass as the employee led the way to the elevators. He itched, and it was all he could do to keep up the illusion of an unspotted redhead. No time or concentration to attract a playmate, and no reason to bother anyway. The second he got too distracted and lost the illusion, they'd be running for the doctor and antibiotics.

Fucking spots.

Fucking Farf. Just as soon as he could think—Schu forced his hand away from scratching his ass—he was going to find a way to make the bastard pay. Not just for the spots, though they were damn sure reason enough. No, Farf was going to pay for all of it. Farfarello had run off the first maid. Farfarello had taken up cooking cats, and Gott the stench! Farfarello had terrorized every delivery person for a ten-kilometer radius, Farfarello—

But Brad. It was Brad's fault they were in such a mess. Brad fucking Crawford. Put together a fucking assassin team and then left them home to play Desperate Housewives while he...did whatever the hell he was doing. Did he think it was a fucking sitcom? Were there cameras in the corners, maybe a closet they were all supposed to go hang out in and talk to the coats and the hidden camera?

And Nagi. Ooh, Nagi. The little brat made sushi every night just to drive them all batty. Battier. He kept his own room picked up, but wouldn't touch so much as a peanut-butter stained thong in Schu's room. He walled himself off when Farf was playful, leaving Schu as the only target. He blew up Schu's speakers when he just wanted some fucking NOISE. He refused to see the logic in the telekinetic being the person to keep the whole house clean.

Like the shower. Schuldig shivered as he stepped out of the elevator. The grunge he could handle. The green lines creeping up the grout—he didn't like it, but he could cope. Fucking spiders though—and fucking Farf, instead of indulging his love of slaughter when it was actually sanctioned for once, the stupid bastard had chased Schuldig with it.

Normally Schuldig was not afraid of things small enough to splat, but this one was huge. And hairy. And it was thinking. Stupid little ‘what the fuck is THAT?’ thoughts, but the damn thing had a brain big enough for thought but too small to explode and that just gave Schu the fucking shudders.

“Are you all right, Okyakusama?”

Focus! “I'm fine.” In five more minutes he would be able to call room service, he could slip out of his itch-inducing clothes and into a hot, spider-free shower, then a complimentary kimono, he could relax and eavesdrop and enjoy porn from the other rooms...

Coffee. He could have coffee. He'd already ordered that a pot be sent to the room. Real coffee, made by an American since there wasn't a German on staff and damned if any Japanese knew how to do it right. Schuldig hadn't even been able to make coffee before running away from home, since the goo of his cooking experiment last night had cooled into a solid mass blocking the entire sink.

Food. He needed food, now. His stomach had gone feral, and all the rest of his organs were worried.

The bellboy might make a tasty—Schuldig shook Farf out of his head and took the proffered room key. Slipped the boy a huge tip and handed him back the suitcase, told him to take the lot of it to the laundry.

Schuldig was naked before the door had closed.

*******

Hours later and in a much better mood, Schu haunted the lobby looking for fun. Spot-free, clean, beautiful and fed, now he was looking to get fucked. As soon as he figured out what was he in the mood for. One, two, or three? Male, female, or both? Innocence to corrupt, or someone who knew how to make his head explode without being told?

Maybe all of the above. Schu's social life had suffered since the first maid disappeared. But where to start catching up?

A tall blonde woman leaned on the arm of a chubby Japanese man. Schu dismissed her with a toss of his hair. As much fun as it would be to teach the icy bitch to crawl, he just wasn't in the mood for that much effort. No, he wanted someone to rock his world with as little energy expended on his part as possible.

It had been a rough couple of weeks.

Unfortunately, aside from the blonde no one met his standards. Maybe he'd just get a blowjob from the bellboy, take the edge off. Come down later when—

A loud THUD drew his eyes to the doors. A high-pitched voice raised childish curses, and a little girl kicked a short, portly man in the shin. “You idiot! I told you not to—“

“Now, Miss Jennifer,” the man said with careful patience, “that is no way for a young lady to act.”

“Sebastian, don't correct her in front of everyone,” snapped a harried woman, swooping past the dropped luggage and the squealing child. “You'll break her spirit.”

“Of course, Miss.” Sebastian picked up the luggage, ignored the child now trying to trip him, and followed the American woman as she opened her cell phone.

“Now make sure you don't let them get their hands on the laundry,” she said as she programmed. “I don't trust anyone but you. And I got a suite with cooking facilities, I don't like Japanese food. I'll hire a car to get you to market. You'll keep Jennifer entertained, and I'll—“

“Hey, gorgeous,” said a slinky brunette, slipping her arm around Schu's shoulder. “Looking for someone?”

“Yes,” Schu answered, pointing. “Him.”

“Eww!”

******

bwa hahaha...

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