Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Always ❯ Always ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Always

Rating: R for violence near the end.
Disclaimers: I don't own Weiß or Schwarz, I just like to drool over them. I am not writing this for profit, but rather as a bit of fan appreciation.
Warnings: Umm, there are probably some, this fiction takes place a while after the Dramatic Precious series and uses some information from the Schwarz dramas. Possible AU since the only copy I have of the DP series is some half-baked translations.
Pairing: Farfarello x Sally mentioned
Song: Always by Saliva
italics = Song lyrics

*~*~*~*~*

-- one --

I love you
I hate you
I can't get around you
I breathe you
I taste you
I can't live without you
I just can't take any more
This life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door
And now I'm done with you


It was suppose to be a day of rest. They were going to have no visitors. There was nothing special planned. Just the three of them staying at home and doing stuff together like a family should. It was perfect for what she had planned.

The message was sent. Her bags were packed. The gun lay hidden in her lap. He was a late riser, so she had plenty of time to take care of everything. There could be no mistakes. He had to die. He was her price for her return into the fold of their former keepers.

She had thought that she could be free of them. She had tried so hard to be free. But these past three years had proven how wrong that was. It wasn't his fault, he tried to give her what she needed, but there was a part of him that would always be locked away from her. As there was a part of her that would always pine away for the promises of Este.

She heard the kitchen floorboards creak as he entered the kitchen, even though his tread was nearly soundless. Sometimes, she thought he allowed her to hear those two boards creak, so she wouldn't be scared from the suddenness of his appearance. Another little action that would have spoken volumes of how much he has changed from when she first saw him, amber eye burning with battle, blood staining that pale skin. A wild, untamable animal that yet relaxed around her enough to be coaxed from the others like him.

Warm, slightly damp fingers brushed the side of her neck, soft lips pressing a quick kiss on top of her head in his customary morning greetings. She tilted her head back, returning the kiss and tasting mint and lemons. He pulled away first with a soft chuckle, moving towards the coffee pot to pour himself some of that vicious brew. She never understood his addiction to the stuff. It was as thick as tar and almost as black, and he usually added a teaspoon of honey though she caught him sometimes sweetening it with molasses.

A cup of coffee poured, he stirred in the honey and snagged an orange from the bowl of fruit on the counter, his movements having lost none of their animalistic grace. His white hair was still damp from his shower, the fine strands clinging against his back and practically glowing against the black tee shirt he wore. She had finally got him to stop cutting himself a year and a half ago, so now his pale skin was bandage less. He was beautiful, but even so, he and those with him were dead. The new Elders decree it to be the price for redemption.

"Jay," she said, his name falling like a lead weight into the still morning air.

The spoon stopped ringing against the sides of his cup, his head turning so she could see the arch of an eyebrow, the black hollow of an eye, the shadows of the morning light hiding his expression from her.

"You never say my name like that unless something is wrong."

"Nothing is wrong."

"Oh?"

It was always hard for her to read his voice, though his moods were easy enough to tell by the colour of his eyes. But the morning light robbed her of that tell tale sign.

"Why would anything be wrong?"

He turned around fully, leaning against the counter, long legs stretched out before him, his over sized coffee mug in his hands, his eyes the colour of old faded gold as he looked steadily at her. The left corner of his mouth twisted up, the scar cutting the full bottom lip giving the twist a mocking air.

"Because something is bothering you about me."

She curled her tiny hand around the gun in her lap, her finger resting on the trigger, her eyes on the man before her. There was a time when she deeply loved him. That she would do anything for him. And she knew he felt the same way about her. But that was when the love was fresh and new in their minds. It had taken it three years, but that love was nothing more than a springtime breeze. Gone from their lives to be replaced by the cold emptiness of winter's snows.

"You don't know anything."

"We've had this argument before. Remember? As I told you then, I will not leave you."

"You don't love me."

Those eyes looked steadily at her, his face closed off to her, his secrets hidden away from her. Something snapped inside of her, her skin feeling tight against the bones of her face, her fingers tightening their grip against the cold metal of the gun. The silence stretched until he looked away, dumping his coffee down the drain and setting his mug aside.

"Is that what you want from me?"

"You told me that you loved me!"

"At one time I did."

"And what? You fell out of love with me? After all you said to me?"

"No."

"No?!"

He looked back at her, white strands tumbling over his forehead, covering his one eye, a ghost of the man he was, staring at her across a snow-covered plain. Full lips turned into a frown, a puff of breath stirring his white hair, his words stilted as if he was forcing them around something big, something secret.

"I do love you, but not as much as you want me to."

"And that is suppose to make me feel better?!"

"There's nothing for you to get hysterical about."

She raised a hand to cover her mouth, watching those antique gold eyes, and that lean, pale face. He looked so distant, so untouchable. So much like the wild animal that she had fallen for, had spent years taming, have given everything up for. How he had defended her from the wolf-lean leader of their pack, of how he had stood in the snow covered in the gore of his kills, holding his hand out to her. That image that she sometimes saw superimposed upon his rare smiles, his soft husky laugh, the tender way he would hold her in his arms, protecting her from the world.

She wondered if she knew him at all. She wondered if she had ever knew him despite their love.

"You are telling me that you don't feel the same for me and you're saying that I do not have the right to be mad about it?! How long have you felt this way?"

He shrugged. "Does it matter? You would just say I am lying in any event."

She slammed her hand onto the table, her voice brittle in her ears. "I want to know the truth! How long?!"

"You know the answer to that."

Silence descended between them. She looked at him, her lips parted as if to question him further, her eyes saying the words that her lips could not speak. He remained motionless, his eyes the colour of bleached gold, alien in their beauty and deadly to behold. Again, she thought of him as a wild wolf, allowing himself to be tamed in exchange for comfort and friendship, but always keeping that one part of him away from her hardest attempts of loving him. In the silence, the slender line of hope inside of her snapped and she turn her gaze away from him.

"I guess. . . I can't live like this anymore." She raised her eyes to his face again, her fingers tightening on the gun in her lap. "I love you but I do not want to be second place to you. I. . . had hoped that you felt the same way. . . I'm sorry. . ."

"It's not your fault."

"No. . . Not yet."

He tilted his head to the side, his eyebrows drawn down, his full lips tugging downwards. His thinking face, as she liked to call it. It gave a hint of masculinity to his exotic, almost feminine appearance. It was a look that she found more frightening than the one his face wore in his wildest frenzies. He was no dumb animal this wild creature she accepted into her heart and bed. And him thinking would cause trouble in the end for her and what she had to do.

"Sally. What have you done?"

A low liquid growl from his throat, his bare feet hissing slightly against the floorboards. The light catching the cross he started wearing a year and a half ago, catching and setting his eyes afire. She sobbed softly, her hands clutched around the gun as she brought it up and fired. A crimson spray arching from his side, one bone pale hand going to the wound in surprise. Then he was gone, the human leeching from those eyes leaving the animal in his place.

She pushed away from the table, the chair falling behind her, the gun gripped in both hands. No lady's gun, the cool metal jerking with each shot. Blood flowers bloomed on his chest, his arm, his head, his leg, and still he came. She ejected the used clip and slammed a new one in, backing into the kitchen door, the gun raised to his temple as his fingers closed around the collar of her jacket.

Her lips formed the words 'I love you' even as she pulled the trigger. His head snapped back, his fingers loosing their hold as he dropped to the floor. In the returning silence, she could hear soft sobs and realized they were coming from her own throat. Pressing her hand against her lips to stifle the sobs and heard a sleepy, tiny voice intrude.

"Da?"

Turning, she looked at the small girl standing in the doorway, tiny bow of a mouth pressed into a frown, one hand clutching a fluffy blue blanket the other holding a stuffed dragon. The tiny child did not look at her mother standing against the door, her dark honey brown eyes on the fallen form on the kitchen floor.

"Daddy's sleeping now." She was surprised how calm her voice was despite the tears filling her eyes. "Let him sleep, poppet."

Those eyes were so much like his as they looked up at her then, the tiny face blank before nodding in understanding before looking back at her father. Swallowing back the sobs that still wished to escape her throat, the older woman reached for her daughter.

"Let's go."

Their daughter looked at her, the tiny mouth frowning before the girl shouted 'No', bringing one foot down hard on the floor. The girl pulled from the hands reaching towards her, running deeper into the house.

She looked into the shadows for a long moment, then looked down at his fallen form and spreading pool of crimson. Then nodding her head, she pushed him away and walked out the door. She had a plane to catch and a life to get back to. Taking a breath of the outside air, she looked back one last time.

"I will always love you, Jay."

She did not notice the tear glittering on her cheek as she walked down the steps to the waiting car.