Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Auld Lang Syne ❯ Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging ( Chapter 4 )

 

 

Thud! “Verdammt!” Schuldig groaned upon finding himself face first on the floor. He cautiously cracked one eye open to see a pair of shoes directly in his line of vision, small, highly polished shoes. Nagi.

 

“What the hell did you do that for?”

 

“Personal amusement,” Nagi said. “Get up. A car should be here for us in about an hour.”

 

“A car? Why can't we just fly?” Schuldig asked, rolling himself back onto the couch and snagging a piece of toast from the breakfast tray settled on the side table.

 

Nagi sighed. “Let's think: Hmmm. You, hung over which increases the air sickness potential exponentially. Farf, riding a post clergy slaughtering high. Yes, by all means let's fly.”

 

“It would be faster,” Schuldig pointed out.

 

“Yes, but stuffing you in the trunk is easier if we're not in midair,” Nagi said, turning on his heel and striding back into his room of the suite.

 

“Stuffing you in the trunk is easier if we're not in midair, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah! I'll make him think he's a toaster one of these days,” Schuldig growled.

 

“Hells bells, go put some clothes on,” Farf said, coming into the room. “No one wants to see that.”

 

Schuldig shrugged and grabbed the little container of jam. “I just wonder what I won first prize <i>for</i>,” he said, looking thoughtfully at the blue ribbon still tied around certain interesting body parts.

 

“You don't remember what happened?” Farf asked.

 

“If you mean do I remember who rewarded my favorite member? Not a clue.”

 

“Like you ever had a clue about anything,” Farf snorted, snagging a piece of bacon off the tray. “Come on, Crawford's getting all wound up about us leaving.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Beats me. You were the one who insisted we all tag along,” Farf said with a shrug.

 

“Oh, come on. Don't tell me you weren't the least bit curious about why he's here when we have no mission anywhere near this country.”

 

“My idle curiosity doesn't have the bite of a pit bull.”

 

Schuldig sat back in a huff, folding his arms over his chest. “I want to know what's going on with our fearless leader. He's spacing out even when he's not having a vision and that's just too damn weird.”

“You're not going to leave this alone, are you.”

 

“Hell no. He knows all of our secrets; I just want to know a few of his.”

 

“Then why drag the rest of us along?”

 

“We're a package deal. He should know that by now.”

 

“I'm sure it's something that haunts his dreams, Schuldig,” Nagi said, coming back into the common area and sitting on the window seat, looking out the window.

 

“Aww. Poor Naggles. Upset because there's not a noodle in sight?”

 

“Actually, I enjoy the food here,” Nagi said, still looking out the window and not bothering to turn and look at Schuldig.

 

Schuldig's eyebrows shot up almost into his hairline as he looked at Farf. Farfarello simply shrugged, indicating he had no idea what went on in the head or stomach of the Japanese boy. Any further teasing or questioning was stopped by Crawford walking into the room and eyeing the telepath flopped on the couch.

 

“Go get dressed.”

 

“In a minute, I'm eating.”

 

Schuldig suddenly found himself staring down the barrel of the Beretta. “Now,” Crawford growled.

 

“Fucking Christ on toast, Brad, pop a stress tab or something,” Schuldig said, but still edged his way around the gun and headed toward his room. Farf loped off to finish packing the few things he'd taken out of his luggage the night before.

 

“Oracle?” Nagi asked, still looking out the window at the city below them.

 

Crawford sighed heavily. Dear gods, now what? He thought. “What is it, Nagi?”

 

“Can we come back here? I mean sometime when we aren't on a mission and when you don't have any obligations.”

 

Crawford shrugged. “I suppose so. Why?”

 

“I'm not really sure. But I feel . . . safe . . . here, for want of a better word.”

 

Crawford nodded, understanding the odd pull that the place had for many people. Including him, even now. His thoughts were interrupted by Schuldig coming out of his room wearing nothing but a neon green thong.

 

“Didn't I tell you to dress?”

 

“I am dressed,” Schuldig said, putting his hands on his hips and turning first one way then the other. “See, all the important bits covered.”

 

“Real clothes. Now!” Crawford ordered, pulling the gun again.

 

“Yeesh! Brad, you're really damn touchy today,” Schuldig said, stomping back into his room.

 

“I swear to the gods, I'm sending him back to Japan in a body bag if he keeps it up,” Crawford growled.

 

“At least you weren't witness to one of the most disturbing sights ever,” Nagi said dryly.

 

Crawford turned and looked at him oddly. “Dare I ask?”

 

Nagi shrugged. “When room service brought the food Farf didn't have any money on him when he answered the door so he put the poor girl in a lip lock. I think she fainted a few steps down the hall.”

 

Crawford blinked owlishly for a moment. “Since when does Farf engage in full frontal snogging?”

 

Nagi shrugged. “No idea. I stopped trying to figure either one of them out ages ago.”

 

“Probably a wise decision,” Crawford said. Dear gods, he had to get this over with and get his team back to Japan ASAP before they did even weirder things. What the hell had gotten into them?

 

Fifteen minutes later they were downstairs in the lobby of the hotel waiting for the car to arrive. Whatever any of them had expected in their driver it was certainly not the person who came into the lobby to get them. The man was roughly the size of a small country, wearing a great kilt and boots with long red and grey hair half way down his back, he looked absolutely wild even to the members of Schwarz. What stunned Nagi, Schuldig and Farfarello even more was the fact that the man made a straight shot for their leader. He snatched Crawford out of the chair before he could stand and clasped him in a bear hug so tight they could have sworn they heard his bones creak, lifting him completely off the floor.

 

“Lady bless me, Brad, ye're taller than your Da now,” the huge man said.

 

“Angus, kindly put me down,” Crawford said, sounding more than a little annoyed.

 

The big man laughed and set Crawford on his feet before turning to the others in the group. Nagi shuffled behind Farf a little, he'd never seen anyone this size in his life and he most certainly didn't want to be hugged.

 

“Well, this is a bunch of fine lookin' lads. Come on wit' ya. Lots of ground to cover `fore we're home,” Angus said, grabbing everyone's luggage in his massive hands and heading out to the car.

 

“Uh, Crawford-san, who . . .” Nagi began.

 

Crawford sighed heavily. This was going to be a long stay, he just knew it.

 

“Since he married my grandmother several years ago, I suppose you could call Angus my grandfather.”