Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Beloved Reflections ❯ Forever Beloved ( Chapter 1 )

"Beloved Reflections" Series

Part One: Forever Beloved

Pairings: Aya + Yohji (in multiple positions)

Song: Dan Hill's "I love you"

Warnings: Yaoi, Shonen-ai, Sap, and Major ANGST towards the end... I don't know *where* this ending came from.... This started as a PWP, I don't know what happened....

Major narrative/scene jumps.

Characters are portrayed as in character according to the author's interpretation.

Spoilers: the end of Gluhen, definitely!

Disclaimer: I do not own Weiss Kreuz, the characters belonging to it, or anything the else associated with Weiss Kreuz. If I did, the original artist would have gotten her money as promised and Yohji's hair would never have been so brutally butchered.

Story Summary: It's taken a bit of a match lighting to get Yohji and Aya together, but can good things survive the worst case scenario?

Author's Notes: The whole purpose of this series was to write certain scenes that Claire wouldn't write into *her* series, Full Circle. This first part was originally written to be part of the Interlude Series, but quickly demanded to be part of this Yohji-Aya series instead.

For several weeks, this series did not have a title, not even each individual part, which is quite a surprise for me and my friends-Titles have never been hard for me, before, and in fact, once the building scene has been developed, a title is usually the second thing decided upon for me. So it is with great thanks and kudos to Mari-chan, McDonald's caramel and fudge sundaes, and super-sized diet cokes, that I present for your reading pleasure now...

"Beloved Reflections"

Part One: Forever Beloved

~~Can I touch you, I can't believe that you are real, how did I ever find you? ~~

Yohji worshiped the man laying naked before him.

First with his eyes-caressing each and every detailed curve of muscle and bone, committing the sight to memory until the weight of his gaze brought a flush to all that lovely skin. Then he set out to ensure that colour stayed put-now with his hands, running his fingers up and down the redhead's body and limbs, teasing the fiery golden fringe along arms and legs, gently combing the darker thatch centered between creamy thighs before finally bring his lips and tongue into the play.

Each step in this worshipping routine was followed strictly every time Aya agreed to grace this bed; and continued until Aya's fingers found purchase in darkened roots and yanked Yohji's lips back to his.

By the time the kiss ended, Yohji was amazed it was really Aya in his bed and just not another fantasy. He was constantly amazed that this was real. It was really Fujimiya Ran in his bed, all hot and bothered…

Yohji still remember the first time he had done this, even if he was a bit sleep deprived at the time. He'd had a concussion, or so they feared; so they'd insisted on waking him from his much needed rest repetitively. Aya kept waking him up…

Yohji had pulled the vision to him, still caught in the throes of a wonderful dream in which Aya was warm and receptive to his advances. Where Aya readily returned his kisses when Yohji gave them, where Aya wantonly arched into his exploring hands. So warm, so hot… too completely desirable…

Yohji could still vividly recall his shock, waking up naked the following morning, next to an equally naked Fujimiya.

He'd thought his days were numbered.

~~You are the dream that saved my life~~

It was too easy to die in their line of work, Aya thought as the slowly healing gunshot wound in his shoulder pulled. Each and every flick of Yohji's finger pad, his tongue, over the many battle scars that marked Aya's body was a reminder of that fact. It reminded him to be thankful for the man with him. Thankful for Yohji's tenderness, his gentleness. His utter devotion.

Aya's back arched, his lips falling open in a silent gasps as Yohji's fingers slid in and out of Aya's body, coaxing the tight ring of muscle to relax, to enjoy the sensations.

Even that night, almost six months ago, when Yohji had been clonked nearly into oblivion during a mission, when Aya had steadfastly insisted that the other two members of their team retire, when Yohji had pulled the redhead to him in the dark and kissed him so tenderly, so suavely… Yohji had been gentle, taking the time to slowly, carefully prepare Aya for his entrance.

Aya couldn't tell Yohji to stop then anymore than he could now. He wanted the taller man. Needed him, craved him. As if by his very being, Yohji kept Aya sane and alive.

He felt alive whenever Yohji touched him. Alive and loved-two feelings he'd thought he'd given up forever when he'd signed his life away to Kritiker.

~~You are the reason I survived~~

Aya had stopped fighting the simple acts of kindness the others offered. He wouldn't just depart for his room and lock himself away, anymore. While he still wasn't voluntarily talkative, he would sit with the others, listening as they chattered on like a bunch of gossiping old woman.

Yohji was the reason.

~~Baby, I never thought that I could love someone as much as I love you

I know it's crazy but it's true~~

~~I never thought that I could need someone as much as I need you~~

Yohji was crying aloud. He was aware of this fact as his hips gently rocked back and forth, filling Aya with his need, trying desperately to show the other man how much he loved him, needed him.

It was crazy to think this could last forever. Crazy to think Aya might ever love him. But Yohji couldn't stop his lips from mouthing the words over and over again against Aya's soft lips anymore than he could stop the small tears that leaked from his eyes from gently falling.

He continued to hold Aya close, as he slowly but all too soon, spent himself within the redhead's body.

The splattering of Aya's pleasure coated both their stomachs, and Yohji was contented to know he had at least brought the other man to some level of pleasure and completion.

Aya's fingers were playing in his hair as he gently maneuvered their bodies so that Yohji could cradle the redhead to him as they slept. When Aya's breathing had regulated into the smooth easy cadence of sleep, Yohji brushed his lips into the sweet-vanilla scented scalp and whispered the words he feared to voice when the other man was awake.

~~I love you~~

~~Can I hold you~~

The shop was moderately busy-enough costumers to keep Aya and Yohji on their feet until Ken arrived at noon to help manage the lunch rush. By one-thirty they had entered the lull... which wouldn't break until the school girls were released-the three-to-five rush hour.

Aya shot Yohji and Ken a quick glance before heading into the stock room to bring up some more supplies. Yohji slipped in the door behind him, snatching the younger man's hand and drawing the redhead to him.

He went to Yohji fluidly, bringing his lips up to the blond's for a brief kiss before settling his cheek against Yohji's shoulder. It felt good to be able to engage in such a thing as a simple embrace without awkwardness; to kiss the other man casually and not feel guilty for the action.

~~ Girl your smile lights up the sky~~

Omi was telling them the latest gossip from the Kritiker news ring. Yohji's attention was half on his friend's report, but mostly on Aya sitting on the couch with him… but not *with* him.

Yohji frowned and finally gave up, reaching over to drag the redhead against his side and wrapping an arm around Aya's shoulders to hold him there.

For a brief second, Aya stiffened against him… and then completely melted into the older man's half-embrace in a completely un-Aya like posture.

Omi's eyes twinkled with mirth; Ken's jaw hung open before the brunette could remember to snap it shut, and he beamed at his two teammates. Yohji's answering grin was set to high wattage, and even Aya's lips were gently curved in amusement at the other two's reactions.

~~ You are too beautiful for the human eyes~~

Yohji moaned, half-lidded green eyes staring up at the man hovering over him with love and adoration. He held his hands tight to the bed rails, flexing his hips into the other man's lap.

Above him, Aya panted, sweat beading his brow, soaking his crimson bangs dark as he continued to move against Yohji, filling the blond with his need and love.

"Beautiful,' Yohji gasped, relinquishing his hold on the railings in favor of threading his hands into that crimson hair, drawing the other man down to him, wrapping his legs around Aya's waist and kissing the redhead for all he was worth.

"Yes, you are," Aya rasped, spasming his release safely inside Yohji's body with a little sigh.

The blond smiled, his hand gently massaging Aya's scalp as the redhead lay draped over him. He didn't think the Goddess Aphrodite could look more appealing and beautiful than Fujimiya Ran… than his lover.

~~You are the dream that never dies~~

"Don't you dare give up on me, you hear?" Yohji growled, half dragging, half carrying the semi-conscious Abyssinian.

"Leave me," Aya rasped-that didn't sound good. No, not good at all. Yohji hoped that wasn't indicative of a punctured lung-"I'm only slowing you down."

"Either we both get out, or we both stay. Which do you prefer?" the blond barked, slumping momentarily against the wall for reinforced support.

"Out," the redhead coughed, hardly repressing a small smile as he cracked glassy violet eyes to look up at his lover. "If you can. But I won't be much help. Leave me if you have to."

"Like hell I will," Balinese growled, catching the other man's weight before unconsciousness could drag him to the floor like a sack of potatoes.

~~ You are the fire that burns inside~~

~~Baby, I never thought that I could love someone as much as I love you~~

It was so cold, so very cold-his fingers, his toes. He could feel the fuzzy slipper socks someone had slipped over his feet, could feel the warm hand that encased his. His head hurt. If he wanted to be honest, his entire body hurt.

"Shh, baby, it's alright. You're safe. We're both safe. You're going to be okay, hear me, Ran?"

Yohji.

He tried to say the name, but found his air passage blocked by a large tube.

"Easy, Aya. Aya listen to me. Aya! Ran," the blond finally resorted to his given name, something that had been happening far too often of late. "I've already called the nurse. They were just waiting for you to wake up before taking it out."

There was something in Yohji's voice… in the look of those green eyes, his entire face and haggard appearance, and Aya knew. They hadn't been sure he *would* wake up.

He stopped struggling; just closed his eyes and relaxed, allowing the machine to regulate the amount of oxygen entering and exiting his lungs.

And then he thought better of closing himself off. He squeezed one of the blond's hands, still entwined around his, and peeked an eye open. One arched eyebrow asked the questions he couldn't vocalize just yet.

What happened? Status report? Are you all right? Are the others okay? Will I make it?

Aya's eyes could speak novels, Yohji thought as he gently rubbed a thumb along side the back of one of the redhead's hands.

"We're safe," he started and Aya slowly relaxed a bit more into the hospital bed, his eyes shutting again but maintaining their hold on Yohji's. "Magic Bus Hospital. Omi and Ken made it out all right, but we almost didn't. Omi thinks a security goon tripped one of the explosives… We were caught a little too close when the building blew…"

Yohji's words trailed off as Aya's eyes snapped opened to critically evaluate his lover's condition. Certain facts that hadn't been noticed before were now. Like the gauzed square covering one eye brow, and arm dangling from a sling… his general ratty appearance. Fine stubble roughened the blond's cheeks and even his hair---his hair!

Yohji's beautiful, silky soft curls… were gone. All that remained was darkened fuzz, sheared close to his scalp.

Yohij raised a hand to his head, as if to tame the fuzz. "Yeah, like I said, we were a little too close. You're okay, though. Still have a full head and a good half a meter to boot, so I guess you're just have to sport the long haired look for both of us for a while, eh?"

And Aya realized Yohji's other hand was caressing the end tuft of his dark red rope of hair. Aya's hair, and now Yohji's hair was…

The nurses arrived then, followed shortly by the doctor who was in charge of all of Weiss's medical needs, Mainecoon. Omi and Ken stopped in later, explaining their absence from the shop by Momoe-san's and Sakura-chan's assistance and the threat of their visit once the flower shop closed for the day. Aya's voice was too raspy and sore to talk for long.

He was in the hospital for a total of two weeks. Most of that time Aya had spent sleeping, but now that he was awake, he couldn't wait to get back home.

Home, to the flower shop, and Yohji, and Ken and Omi; home to Weiss.

~~I know it's crazy but it's true, oh~~

"Hey, guys, have a moment?"

Aya looked up from the worktable where he was arranging daisies and freesia in a colorful spring basket. Behind the register, Yohji looked up from counting the till for the day. Ken was grimacing as he finished dragging the rest of the shop displays inside and pulled the gate down.

"Sure, Omi. What's up?" Yohji asked, marking a figure on the cash box receipt book before shutting the register down for the day.

Omi nodded his head down to the mission room and quickly disappeared. Ken was practically scowling as he stalked after Omi, and Aya shot Yohji a questioning look.

The blond just shrugged the question away-he had no clue what had crawled up Ken's butt and died-as he waited for Aya to finish tying a ribbon around the basket and place it in the fridge.

Downstairs, Ken was glaring at the wall, any minute now Aya fully expected a smoking hole to appear. Still, he pushed Ken out of focus for the moment and turned his attention to Omi, who was looking more nervous than the redhead could ever remember seeing him.

"The higher ups finally decided on whom the next leader of Kritiker should be," the youngest member began as soon as Yohji and Aya were settled on the couch. "I just found out an hour ago."

"'Bout time," Yohji quipped, but Aya noticed a certain tightness to his lover's voice and spared a glance at him briefly. "So who is the lucky bastard?"

Omi winced, and now Aya's attention sharpened. Ken's uncharacteristic behavior; Yohji's tenseness. Blue eyes met and held violet as Omi spoke again.

"Takatori Mamoru."

Aya forced air in and out of his lungs. "I see."

To the right, a fist smacked into the wall with a 'thud'.

"Well, can't say I wasn't expecting it," Yohji sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "So now what?"

Omi--no, Mamoru, took a seat at the computer, resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands to his chin. "Now, things need to be adjusted. Since I can't stay here with you guys anymore, you all need to make your decisions. To stay with Weiss, to stay with Kritiker, or to move on," he elaborated.

"If you choose to stay, a new member will have to be found to replace m--to replace Omi," Mamoru faltered. "If you choose to move on, Weiss will be disbanded indefinitely. It's all or nothing. The choice is yours."

"What about you?"

Mamoru's looks softened as he turned to face the angry originator of the growled question.

"Manx is with my grandfather now, working out the details, but from what I understand the official story is that Takatori-sama never gave up hope of finding his youngest grandson," Mamoru answered calmly. "After the deaths of his two sons and two grandsons, his search doubled until one day he found Teruhisa Tsuyusaki," he gave a little wave to himself, "adoptive son of Teruhisa Ryou and Mayumi, who coincidently is a perfect DNA match to Takatori and Kikuno."

Aya noted the careful wording of Mamoru's parentage, but said nothing, still trying to digest how he felt about this turn of events. He always knew that at some point WeiB would split up. He himself had tried to leave once. All of them had tried to leave at one point or another.

But they always came back. They always returned home. Home to Weiss; home to their family. Until now. Now Omi was leaving, was leaving Weiss for good. Once he left, there would be no more returning.

`Cats did tend to `come home' after wandering or being lost…if they live, that is,' a voice from long ago reminded him.

Aya let out a heavy breath. His head was starting to hurt.

"When do you leave?" he asked, not quite meeting their youngest teammate's eyes, but staring more off to his shoulder.

"Monday," Mamoru replied softly.

"Can't wait to get out of here, I bet." Ken was radiating with angry energy.

"Ken, please. Don't do this," the young blond pleaded, and for an awful moment Aya realized Omi wasn't really gone, but rather, he was being taken away from them. Just like Mamoru had been kidnapped from his mother so many years ago.

Aya stood up abruptly, dislodging Yohji's comfortable grasp on his knee. "The shop needs to be swept; I'll take care of it," he added, heading for the stairs.

"Aya-kun--?"

He didn't wait, but heard Yohji's pacifying voice as he reached the top of the steps.

"Don't worry about him, chibi. So, tell me about all the perks your new job has to offer."

Aya nearly broke down--Yohji was discussing this monstrous change to their lives as if Omi had just gone and gotten a new job at some business firm or something.

Gods, how he loved Yohji. Loved the blond's ability to take Life's little surprises in stride. The redhead wished he could be more like his lover.

He had just retrieved the broom from the storage room when he heard the angry pound of stomping feet up the stairs and into the back room. The jangle of keys snatched up off the hook roughly and the harsh barked announcement of the obvious, "I'm going out!" preluded the screaming of a motorcycle.

Aya sighed, pushing the brush across the floor as the angry roar of Ken's bike finally died away. He was lucky, he realized. Yohji and he had been together for almost two years now. Yes, they had their ups and downs--as was to be expected of any long-term relationship--but they *had* a relationship. Someone to hold them at the end of the day; someone to talk to... they had someone to love.

Omi and Ken had always been friends, but it was only in the last couple of months that the brunette, claw-waving, soccer player had gotten a clue as to how much more he could have had from their very willing, dart-flying blond. And now Omi was leaving. Omi was going away... Omi was gone.

~~I never thought that I could need someone as much as I need you~~

The first night Omi was gone, Monday night in their bed, Aya held Yohji extra close and made a point of telling the other man that he loved him. Actions just weren't enough anymore; Aya need to say the words, needed Yohji to hear them, and understand them, completely...

"I love you," he whispered against the blond's lips.

"I know," Yohji nuzzled his throat. "I've loved you, too."

"I know."

And Aya did know. And he knew something else, now, too.

It didn't really matter whether Weiss continued or not. As long as he was with Yohji, it was going to be all right. Omi and Ken and they could still see each other. Family didn't have to live together forever. He and Aya-chan were the proof of that. Although he loved her dearly, getting to see her a couple of weeks out of the year now that she was attending college in England had made him learn to appreciate her more than even the two years of her coma.

"I need you, Ran," Yohji moaned as he moved against him.

All Aya could say was, "I love you."

~~You are the sunshine in my sky, you are the sparkle in my eye~~

Kyo was dead.

Sena was dead.

Yohji was....

Aya had to consciously stop himself from hyperventilating as he shifted through the rubble, looking for the familiar, skinny-assed blond he called lover---There!

He found the other assassin's body, sheltered beneath two rather large slabs. Carefully, he checked Yohji's body, checking for any major injuries. There were thousands of lacerations... The right leg was a mess, broken in at least two places from what Aya could tell... There were two large bumps gracing the blond's skull...

Gently, Aya lifted his lover into his arms---the man was actually heavier that he looked--too much drinking, the lush, Aya thought fondly.

He met the Kritiker emergency clean-up crew on the way out. Before he knew it, he was in a hospital waiting room, staring at his hands, waiting, thinking, sitting.

Sena, shot by his mother, laying, dying on the floor. A thrust, and Sena's mother, dead. Epitaph, the computer.

Omi and Ken arriving.

That bitch and the kid... "Child of God" she'd called him.

Omi, getting shot by his own arrow.

Ken, grabbing the kid, coving the kid's mouth.

Aya, a thrust of his katana... how easily it seemed to slide through the boy's body and into Ken's...

The bitch, Tsujii, running away. Running after her.

Leaven Ken and Omi to take care of themselves.

Finding the bitch... and Yohji... Throwing his katana to his lover.

With a sweeping arch...The bitch was dead.... How he'd detested Yohji pretending to like that woman... But, oh gods, Yohji, the building. Oh, shit, the building!

He couldn't jump it... not with his twisted leg. Omi and Ken weren't in any position to get down there, either. Oh, gods, Yohji...

He knew... he wasn't in any condition to climb; the blond couldn't even stand...

"Yohji-kun!"

"Go on... ahead..." He could barely stand.... and all Aya could do was stand there and look down... look down at his lover... as the chunks of cement and granite began to fall...

"I can't! I won't leave you here!"

Omi was crying again... oh gods, how good it had been to have Omi on the team again, but... not like this... it wasn't supposed to end like this for the four of them... they were unbeatable...

"I'll come soon," Yohji'd said, still watching them.

"Let's go home together."

"Yeah, I'll go home. Aya," and only now did Yohji break their eye contact, this time to look at the katana that was his supporting crutch. "I need to give this back to you. I'll return. I'll return to where you are."

"Yohji-kun."

Aya struggled to make his voice work... there were a hundred things he wanted to tell his friend, his teammate, his love....

"Yohji..."

The crumbling world around them seemed to evaporate, and for those precious seconds, it was just him and Yohji...

"I am... WeiB."

"Wait for me."

And then all hell broke lose. Omi's scream rang in his ears, louder than the explosions that surrounded Yohji's body.

Omi... Omi and Ken... he had to get them both out. As the leader of Kritiker, Omi *had* to survive...

Crashers was waiting as planned with the helicopter; they wasted no time herding Ken and Omi on board.

"No..."

Knight had looked at him. "Ran... you can't... he's gone, Ran."

"I'm not leaving without him," he told his once teammate... his one-time lover, turning and walking back towards the mayhem.

It was almost dawn. The building was one large fireball. He waited, beneath a sakura tree, for the fires to die down enough for him to enter, for him to go and find Yohji. He *WOULD* find Yohji, one way or another....

~~I never thought that I could love someone as much as I love you,

"Abyssinian."

Aya recognized the Kritiker doctor immediately.

"Mainecoon."

"I can't say I'm happy to see either one of you back so soon," the elder man tried for joviality, but it was sorely lost. Mainecoon's face lost most of its jovialness and the doctor cleared his throat and clasped a hand over his wrist. "I won't lie; we're worried. Surgery's over, I think we got all the debris removed, but now we have to wait for him to wake up."

It was his worse nightmare all over again... Aya found himself sitting at a hospital bedside, waiting for someone he loved to wake up.

In another room, Ken was recovering from his own surgery. Aya was with the younger man when Ken was finally released from the hospital's care. They were both on their way back to Yohji's room when they heard the nurse's happy shout.

Yohji was awake. Finally.

Aya rushed forward, ready to barge into the room when the nurse's next words registered.

"Do you remember your name?"

"Name? My name... I... can't remember...."

The blood rushed out of Aya's head, he was swimming, slumping to the floor.

"Aya!"

Ken tried to catch him, but the other man was still injured.

Aya looked up at his friend, a little lost, a little overwhelmed. "He doesn't remember..."

~~I know it's crazy but it's true.~~

He had a decision to make.

The doctors had run test after test. They didn't know if Yohji's memory would ever return naturally or not.

So, Aya had a decision to make.

Did he walk back into his lover's life and try to help him remember the past? Or did he allow Yohji to have another opportunity at a normal life?

Snippets of the last two weeks ran like a broken record through his head, over and over again.

The Academy. Sena's body. Tsujii. The child of God. Ken. Omi. Yohji. Doctors. Crashers. The helicopter. Epitaph, the computer. His katana slicing through bodies. Conversations. thoughts. thoughts. thoughts.

"Aya-kun, you need to make a decision."

He looked up at Omi, wanting to shout, "You're the boss! You make a god-damn decision!"

But he didn't; he just looked away.

"What do you want to do, Aya?"

"I want..." He took a depth breath to fortify himself. "I want him to have a chance at a normal life. I want to leave Japan. I want him to be happy..."

Omi nodded, and then turned away and left.

The next person he saw was Rex. She handed him an envelope and told him to be happy and to keep in touch before walking away, as well.

It took him a good long while to finally open that envelope. He had to laugh at what he found. Omi was definitely thorough.

The end of an old life---records of death for the four original members of WeiB, a large retirement bonus---and a new identity, complete with passport, visa, bank account records, school records, health history, and police record.

There was also a cell phone in the envelope, as well as a sheet of references... Other agencies, like Kritiker, around the world.

He could go anywhere in the world. Omi had taken care of him to the end...

And this was the end. The end of WeiB. The end of...

~~ I never thought that I could need someone as much as I need you~~

He made one last phone call, this time to Aya-chan. He had to know... had to know if she was happy or not now. It was ironic, now that she was back in Japan, he was leaving ...

And then he had Ken drive him to the airport. He was making good on his word to Omi; he was leaving Japan. He didn't know where he would end up, or what he would do once he got there, but for now he was heading to America, New York to be exact.

They drove by Yohji's hospital on the way; by some cruel sense of humor, he caught a glimpse of a patient sitting outside on a bench, with golden yellow hair styled in short unruly curls. Maybe... Yohji....?

In Narita there were no words for them... Aya smiled at Ken... Ken looked away, and when he looked back up, Aya was walking away. Just like that.

Aya was walking away from his old life; who knew what waited for him.

~~ I love you~~

AN: And as if that just wasn't a lovely ending, "Tomorrow" just started playing. What are the odds?

Okay, as I said up at the top, this was a PWP that GREW, dammit... *Supposedly*, if I let my muses have their way, this is the first part of a four part series, but I don't think there are more songfics in the future. We'll have to see! Until then, see you on the flip side!

~AR

Zan: Ohh, a sad, very melancholy ending. I need the next installment; I don't like sad or melancholy endings.

Andrea: Hai, hai! I shall return to the drawing board anon!

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