Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Better Days ❯ Yohji's Sanity ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Night. A graveyard.

The air is laced with the scent of wet dirt. The newly laid granite in front of me is graced with but two words. Yohji's Sanity.

To its left lies an older specimen. Yohji's Self Respect.

The right, Yohji's Happiness.

The cattleyas in my hand are unceremoniously tossed onto the disturbed earth, liberating me to reach for another glass of malt whiskey.

I have officially lost it.

I'm talking to myself now. Not snippy little comments in my head, like before, but full fledged spoken conversations.

I'm beginning to realize I'm not all that interesting to talk to.

Today the conversation has circled back to where I always get stuck.

I state flatly, "Ken."

"Oh no, not that again," I answer myself.

"Something needs to be done about it," chides practical Yohji.

"Yeah, you need to start getting over it," I taunt back

"That's hopeless," I remind myself, "I can't even get over Asuka, and she's fucking dead!"

"Good point. Yep, you're pretty pathetic."

Gee thanks, Yohji's logic.

"You're not helping," I pout.

"Well, what do you want me to do?"

"I need to tell him."

"You can't tell him!"

"I'll feel better if I talk to someone about it," says reasonable Yohji.

"So talk to someone else," paranoid Yohji interjects, "it will weird Ken out."

"Ken is understanding," I remind myself.

"He'll just be nice out of pity," echoes my paranoia.

"He's not like that,"

"He'll act different; even if he doesn't mean to."

"I don't know that for sure," my hopeful side insists.

"But are you willing to risk it?"

"…." None of the Yohji's have an answer for that….

"You can always tell him later."

"Later one of us might be dead."

As par usual, I find myself right back to where I started, nothing accomplished other than knocking my mental stability further off kilter.

I'm about to go into round two of the infinite debate, but my concentration is promptly broken by fierce knocking on the door.

For crying out loud, can't a guy even sit in his room and lose his mind in peace? Before I get a chance to answer, the knocking stops and the door is thrown open.

"C'mon Yohji! You're going out with us tonight!"

Thud.

What was that? Oh, my mouth dropping.

Standing before me are two characters whom I can just barely recognize as Ken and Omi. Ken is decked out in that outfit I made him get two weeks ago. And Omi…. Omi looks downright illegal. I never knew he owned clothes like that.

Fuck, are they trying to KILL me?!

This is sooo not good.

They both grab me and start dragging me off the bed.

"Hurry up and change Yohji! We're taking you out!"

What I mean to say to this is, "no way, I'm tired and need to stay in."

What comes out though, is, "sure, why not?"

Damnit, even my brain has some sort of vendetta against me today.

"Er, just give me a moment, ok?"

"Sure thing!"

My two, uh, comrades bounce out into the hallway to wait for me.

ShitshitshitthisisnotgoodatallwhatthefuckamIgoingtodo?!
"Must stay calm. I can't lose control of myself tonight."

How the hell am I going to not lose control when Ken's dressed like that?!

And Omi's not helping either!!! What was his shirt made of, Saran wrap?!

Don't they know the danger they're putting themselves in? It's like they want me to molest them or something!

Ok ok ok. I can handle this. I'll just go out with them, pretend to have a good time, and then they'll leave me alone. Must act like normal Yohji.

Alrighty. So what would normal Yohji wear?

Normal Yohji would dress like a skank.

No-can-do. That will only make it harder for me to stay in my right mind.

I look in my closet and make an unpleasant discovery.

Oh shit! I don't own any non-skanky clothes!

I am so doomed.

After several minutes of angsting in my closet, I finally reemerge dressed in black jeans and my most conservative crop top. Oh boy, I'm really in trouble when a crop top is 'conservative.'

We haven't even left the house yet, but I've already got my sunglasses in place. I'm going to need all the help I can get. Maybe I should grab my coat too. It's about thirty five degrees C out*, but what the hell, I'm a desperate man.

Ken and Omi exchange slightly puzzled expressions when I dash back into my room and return with my trench coat. What's their problem? It's only July. Besides, I'm not the one who runs around in shorts in the middle of February.

"Eh, don't you think you're a bit overdressed for going to a club in the middle of summer, Yotan?" Ken asks innocently enough.

Gah! Why's he using my nickname all of the sudden? The very last thing in the world I need right now is Ken calling me by a cutesy nickname and implying that he's thinking about me in states of further undress! Can't he see what he's doing to me?! I'm about thirty seconds away from panicking and barricading myself back in my room. But then they'd know that something was wrong and might start trying to figure out what…. Calm down and get a grip Yohji!

"I think I'm…coming down…with a cold…or something…."

"Oh, really?" Ken looks fairly concerned. I could get used to him looking at me like that…Stop that train of thought right there Yohji…. "Maybe we should stay in after all. We could just watch a movie or something…."

Yes! A perfect opening to escape! I'm saved!

"No, it's okay. I'll be alright."

What the fu--? Why did I say that?! Something definitely got lost in the translation from brain to mouth. Or maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment….I'm guessing the latter.

I'm mentally kicking myself all the way to the car.

Oh that's right, the car.

My car.

How thoughtful of them to invite me out when I'm the only one who can drive! Ok, so I don't really mind that so much. I'm trying to trick myself into being irritated so I won't have time to think about how tight Ken's pants are.

But to my surprise Ken and Omi don't lead me to my car. Instead I find myself standing in front of their bikes.

"Uh, guys…."

"We want to surprise you, Yohji kun! So we're gonna drive tonight!"

"But there's three of us, and only two bikes…."

"Oh, don't worry about that! My bike's bigger, so you can ride with me!" Ken helpfully volunteers.

Poor, naïve Ken….You would not be so eager if you only knew what I was thinking right now….

"I never told you Ken, because I didn't want you thinking less of me…but I am downright terrified of motorcycles."

Aw man, I know I could have come up with a better excuse than that! Whats wrong with me!

Ken now has this adorable shocked expression on his face, clearly stating 'How is it possible to not like motorcycles?'

"But they're so much fun! C'mon Yotan, I promise you'll like it! Just hold on tight if you get scared."

Craaaap. I am digging myself further and further into a hole here. How can I turn down an offer like that?! Maybe I should update my will tonight….

I have a feeling this is going to be a long ride….

* * *

A/N:* That's Celsius (what they use in Japan) = 95 degees F.