Ah, I suppose it's about time I made my entrance into the world of Weiss Kreuz fanfiction. So for your reading enjoyment and to test the waters, I offer you all a short Youji/Aya humor fic. Don't look too hard for a plot, its not there. Trust me.

Disclaimer: I do not own Weiss Kreuz; it belongs to whoever owns it. I have had two hours of real sleep since yesterday; I refuse to look it up.

Summary: Aya has Youji's favorite boxers and hasn't given them back. As Youji attempts to get them back, more important things are forgotten.

Operation Boxer Shorts

(Or Youji attempts to get his boxers back from Aya)

~Thursday evening~

I suppose if I had to classify this…predicament I'm in it would have to go under problems I never thought I'd ever have. It started out innocently enough, just a slight clothing mix-up during one of our interrupted mornings after. Ken's incessant knocking had woken both of us up and left us, well mostly Aya, scrambling to make ourselves decent before we had to open the shop. It was all part of the morning ritual at this point, Aya and I had been together for six months and at this point everyone else knew and was afraid to enter our room in the morning. Geez, Ken only caught us in bed together once. It was his fault anyway; he should knock before entering. Back to the main problem, while we were searching for our clothes that had been flung around the room the night before, we accidentally took each other's boxers. No big deal right? That's what I thought until I realized exactly which pair of boxers Aya had taken. The bastard took my favorite pair, my very nice navy blue silk boxers. I have plenty of silk boxers, hell, I don't think I own a pair of non-silk boxers but these are my special boxers. I don't know why they're special, they just are. Anyway, the jerk took my boxers last Monday; it's been over a week! Every time I've tried to ask him about them he just glares at me and tells me I must have lost them. I know he's been wearing them, I saw them in the pile of laundry he was bringing back to his room. He's more or less moved into my room but still keeps his private stuff and nice clothing in his room. Can't say I blame him though, in my room any flat space can be called a shelf and nice things have a tendency to get ruined quickly. I'm going to have to buy him more of those boxers; he won't buy them for himself. Those boxers are so comfortable and he only has one pair, probably why he took them. I have yet to figure out how he stands his boxers, I spent two hours in them, and they felt like cardboard. In theory all I have to do is go to his room and take my boxers back. If only it were that simple, I'd probably get a katana in the gut for my troubles. What I need is a plan, a good plan.

~Friday Morning~

For once I'm up before Aya, now would be the best time to steal back my previously stolen property. It's 5:00 in morning at the moment; I have thirty minutes before Mr. Social here decides to wake up and make a nuisance of himself. I love him, I really do, but this 5:30 wakeup call on Friday mornings is hardly welcome. I know his sister is really important to him but can't he work on the arrangements until after he visited her? He could but instead he chooses to wake up really early to work on them before his lunch visit, waking everyone up in the process. It's hard to sleep when your bedmate leaves the bed, and when I have to get up early I tend to make a lot of noise. Hey, why shouldn't Omi and Ken suffer if have to? Besides, it gives them a jump on their work for the day. They didn't like that logic when I shared it with them, Ken looked about ready to test his Bugnuks on me. Unfortunately for me, when I try to leave the movement wakes Aya up. Damn, I forgot how light a sleeper he was. After a quick glance at the clock he decides I've earned a patented "Shi-ne death glare", but as sleepy as he is it turns out more of a glare of mild annoyance. It's hard to look menacing while yawning, even Aya can't really do it. He's tried though, tried quite admirably in fact. As usual, seeing the ineffectiveness of his glaring Aya just sniffed and turned over to go back to sleep, guess I need another plan.

~Friday Afternoon~

I'm beginning to wonder if Aya is telepathic, every time I've tried to sneak up to his room he has found some excuse to be standing in front of his door. I will never understand Aya's ability to anticipate almost everyone's moves; he's caused all my schemes to get to his room to die an early death today. Its time for a different approach; today is my day to do the laundry so I'll take them after I wash them. Only problem is Aya usually does the laundry for me on my days so it'd be suspicious if I asked him to let me do it. If I don't get them today then I won't get another chance with the laundry until next month. The chore schedules were made according to who was most adept at them, Ken has grocery shopping/garbage, Omi has general cleanup, and Aya usually does the cooking and laundry. The only chore they're willing to trust me with is vehicle maintenance and then they usually do their own. It only took for few small "mishaps" to get me regulated to the non-important/vital chores. I have about four hours to come up with a perfectly valid reason that would convince Aya that I would be able to do the laundry without turning his clothes an interesting shade of pink. I bet he's still a little mad about those dress shirts; it was really an accident that time.

~Friday Evening~

It seems I didn't need to think of a reason, after I closed shop he very unceremoniously handed me all of this week's laundry and muttered something about having an appointment. I had to grin at that, an appointment in Aya speak translates into a date with Sakura which usually involves blackmail. I don't what Omi and Ken are blackmailing him with but it must be something really embarrassing. Those two are closet sadists, I know for a fact they do it just to see Aya squirm. At least Aya isn't leading the poor girl on, I remember him telling her quite plainly he wasn't interested. She's persistent though, her line of logic is that if she keeps trying Aya will eventually fall in love with her. That logic served me well in the minefield that is courting Aya, but the trick is he has to have some interest in you first. It took many months and many injuries to acquire that piece of knowledge. I learned a lot of other things too; they just don't apply to this situation. Hmm, I think I'm missing something, ever since I left the shop I've had one of those nagging feelings like I've forgotten something very important. First things first though, retrieving my boxers. Argh! Remember what I said earlier about Aya maybe being a telepath? Well here I am at the Laundromat going through all my teammates dirty laundry and what to I find? Two pairs of navy blue silk boxers! Surprisingly, Ken also has a pair of the exact same brand, in the exact same size, and in the exact same shade. The only problem is he also bought Aya and Omi a pair, in the same color and size of course, meaning that one pair may not even be mine. I will never again suggest having matching anything to Ken; he takes those suggestions seriously. Now I wish Aya were doing the laundry, he's marked each of the boxers' tags with a symbol but I don't know whom each symbol stands for. The only thing left to do is to fold them at home and wait until Aya sorts them out tomorrow morning.

~Saturday Morning~

I really hate Aya now. I got back around eight o'clock last night, plenty of time to go out and drink before Aya got home. I dumped the laundry on the table to fold it real quick so Aya wouldn't have anything to bitch at me about when he got back. He's always cranky after his "dates" with Sakura and will use anything as an excuse to just go to sleep. I didn't have a problem with this until he started sharing my bed; unlike him I happen to have a normal sex drive. Sleeping next to him without so much as a curt goodnight is hell. He has no idea how absolutely fuckable he looks lying there. That's beside the point though; what I was saying is that when I get to the table he's already sitting there with a book. Turns out Sakura had a minor family emergency about twenty minutes in to their "date". He seemed to be in a pretty good mood, he dog-eared his page and got up to give me a kiss on the cheek as he took the laundry from me. For most of my lovers this would be normal, but Aya is rarely affectionate without a good reason. Wonder what that "good reason" is, but it's hard to remember a pair of boxers let alone what I did right when Aya is being cooperative; needless to say neither of us left the bedroom last night. The bad part is when I woke up this morning Aya had already folded and put away his clothes and left mine in an neat little stack on the table. No boxers in my stack, Omi and Ken already got theirs so I don't know whom the boxers belonged to. Damn.

~Saturday Afternoon~

They're all up to something. Now not only does Aya still have my boxers, Omi and Ken have started glancing at me and whispering. Anything involving the Chibi never bodes well for me; Ken's ideas are usually all right but Omi's can be scary. The last time they were whispering like that I ended up babysitting one of our older client's kids. Those were the brattiest hellions I have ever had the dubious honor of knowing. Not only do I arrange flowers and kill people, on occasion I'm forced to baby-sit. What did I do to deserve this life? Having Aya as a lover is a definite perk though. He almost makes all this worth it, if it wasn't for the baby-sitting I would say he did make it worth it. Hey, it's not like I did it for him. If he asked me to do it instead of Omi and Ken guilt tripping me into doing it I wouldn't have minded so much. I hope whatever those two are planning isn't that embarrassing, I can't say no to Omi when he starts pouting. Idea! Maybe if I get Omi to ask Aya about my boxers I can get them back!

~1 Hour Later~

Okay, that approach didn't work as well as I hoped it would. Aya still claims that he doesn't have them; he must have hidden them. Omi went through his drawers and couldn't find them, wait, how come Omi gets to look? Aya never lets me go through his clothes. I mean; I'm only his lover! Then again no one can really deny Omi anything. Why does Aya want my boxers anyway? He already has his own pair!

~Saturday Evening~

Aya's joined forces with the plotters, now I know I'm doomed. Might as well get it over with, the note on the fridge says to meet them in the mission room for a "surprise." I need a cigarette and since I'm probably about to die from embarrassment I might as well smoke in the house. Aya can't kill someone who's already dead, right? I wonder if it's another one of those lectures about my habits, they've gotten better though. I haven't come home drunk and laid since I hooked up with Aya. Drunk maybe but not laid, I value my life a little too much to cheat on Aya. Not that I don't value our relationship, death is just the first thing to come to mind when the idea of cheating pops up. It's dark down here, why are the lights off? I'm beginning to suspect that I'm missing one important detail about today that would solve this mystery. As the lights flicker on and Omi and Ken yell "Surprise!" it makes sense. Knew there was something important about today, it's my 23rd birthday. For once Aya doesn't yell at me for smoking and flicking ash on the floor. Not like I meant to, it was just reflex. They really went all out for this, Aya even made a cake. Baking and Aya are two things I never imagined possible. It gets better though, after I opened Omi and Ken's gifts and we all had some fun, Aya brought me back up to his room. I've been allowed into Aya's private sanctuary few times before now, which is actually a very nice and comfortable place. After Aya-chan took one look at his furnishings she made him take her furniture shopping. She's fixed the room up real nice, I hate to admit it but Aya's bed is more comfortable than mine. Now this is my kind of birthday present, sure the coat and sunglasses were nice, but having Aya let you in his room for the night and let you have…umm "fun" in it is better. He also got me a really nice necklace but this present has priority.

~Sunday Morning~

I have never felt this happy in my entire life. I just woke up from a good sleep than only comes after an exhausting session of "bedtime fun" with Aya. Aya is still beside me sleeping and for once didn't set his stupid alarm clock. And last night he said that the shop would be closed today, meaning I can stay in bed all day if I want. Yep, all is good in the world. Now if only I could figure out what he did with my boxers…

~Two Weeks Later~

I feel really stupid at the moment. I finally confronted Aya about my boxers only to have him lead me to my seldom-used underwear drawer to point them out. According to him they've been there since the day after he took them. He made a special trip to wash them so he could return them as soon as possible since he knew they were my favorite. It's all these little things about Aya that notice more and more of each day. For example, today I learned that Aya likes to leave important details of his explanations out. If he had just told me that he put my boxers in the drawer, none of this would have happen. But that's Aya and it wouldn't be right to have him any other way.

~End~

*sighs* Seems I can't ever write something without having some sort of double meaning. If anyone can tell me what the actual plot-type/lesson meaning of this is I'll write them a little something of their choice in any fandom I'm familiar with. I don't think any one will notice it though; it's one of those things I caught as I was checking for errors.