Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Broken ❯ From the Inside ( Chapter 3 )

Author's Notes: Guys, you really have got to help me on this one!! I'm currently working on the scene where Schu and Brad actually meet, but try getting Brad to tell you anything about what he's feeling, that guy's such a private person, doesn't say a word… What I would ask of you now is whether you could help me und just drop me one or two lines telling me if you like the way Brad is characterized in this chapter, it's soooo difficult with him!! Is he OOC, did I get him right? Too many feelings? Not enough feelings? Whether you like him or not, please tell me, it'll help me very much to finish the next scene!! :)

Many, many thanks to my beta-reader ko-chan who checked this chapter!!!!

Disclaimer: None of the boys belong to me, they all belong to somebody else! I'll return them as neat and well mannered as I found them..

Oh, for those of you who noticed: This is NOT a songfiction, I'm just borrowing the chapter titles from Linkin Park's Meteora because they fit so well.. And because I simply just LOVE the album!

Btw, italics are for mindspeak and bold letters stand for thoughts.

Broken (chapter 4)

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For the first time in his entire life Brad Crawford, the Oracle, leader of Schwarz and Estet's most powerful clairvoyant didn't know what the future would bring.

A most unusual occurrence, he had spent a considerable amount of time trying to get in touch with his power to get information about this evening, but, as had never happened before, he couldn't grasp it, couldn't get a glimpse at the future. At first it had just annoyed him, irritated him to no end as it kept him from planning everything beforehand. He had always planned important meetings -and this was definitely one of the most important meetings he would ever attend. It had been Estet's company policy to always be prepared for any possible (and impossible) twist in business conversations. Nothing worked better to convince an unwilling would-be-business partner to trust in your competence than if you were able to answer all his questions, no matter how far-fetched or surprising they seemed. Little by little this motto had become a habit of him and he'd come to rely on his sixth sense to help him cope with difficult situations. It gave him an aura of power, trustworthiness, omnipotence. It was why he never once didn't get the client he wanted and it was why he could always behave as confident and secretive as he did. He was the Oracle, after all…

Right now he felt anything but confident or secretive. It was a strange feeling to find out he wasn't able to predict anything, he felt uneasy, if not disorientated. He didn't know what to expect, he didn't know what to do, what to say, how to react. The feeling of helplessness once again threatened to creep up on him, as it had done when he had left home without knowing what to expect from this... experience. Shaking his head he slowly drove onto the parking lot und stopped his car, gazing thoughtfully at the place in front of him. He wasn't helpless, he was in control of his feelings and whether or not he was able to see what would happen in the next minutes he was still in control of his life, nothing could change that.

Mentally telling himself to not get distracted from the task at hand, he finally turned off the engine and stared at his hands for a moment, frowning when he noticed they were shaking ever so slightly. Brad Crawford was not nervous, not if he could help it. He took a deep, calming breath and concentrated on his power determinedly, focusing his awareness on the future just as he had been taught in Rosenkreuz so many years ago. His power was not like a telecinetic's or a telepath's, he couldn't simply turn it on and off at will -which had always bothered the control-freak-part of his brain greatly- but certain techniques had always allowed him to concentrate on a certain part of the future and get at least a few glimpses at it. He had never been more surprised in his entire life when he suddenly found himself grasping the steering wheel tightly as impressions appeared before his mind's eye, flashing black business suit in 20:33:17 rapid café succession, so brief that he missed most of them.

The vision left him breathless, still clinging at the steering wheel for support he tried to get his somewhat erratic breathing back under control. His head was swimming, he couldn't see straight for a moment and he could already feel the first signs of a migraine at the back of his head, which usually only happened after a whole day of unwanted, but nevertheless very intense visions. He grumbled softly under his breath, massaging his temples for a moment. So at last he had seen something, although he couldn't remember much of it, it had been way too fast. He'd seen a black business suit, which, as he looked down at himself, he recognized as his own, he'd seen a time which was actually only half an hour away, and he'd seen the café he already knew Schuldig would be at and which happened to be the building whose parking place he was currently occupying. He didn't know if it had been real or just his wishful thinking but he thought he'd seen a flash of bright red in one of the images.

Schu.

The name came out of nowhere and before he knew it his mind decided to bring out all the suppressed feelings of loss and grief to the surface, nearly chocking him in their intensity. He'd worked so hard to master his despair, to be able to live through the days back then, after they'd been informed that their team member, their friend, his lover was gone. He'd tried very hard to go on, had forced down his grief. Within the blink of an eye his partner had been gone, had disappeared from his life as if he had never existed. It had been the first time he had ever wished he didn't have his power, the first time he'd seen it rather as a curse than a blessing.

He had not foreseen it.

He was a rational person, he knew that such thoughts and feelings were ridiculous for he might be able to see the future but couldn't do anything to change the past. He would never have gone into that museum had he known anything beforehand, no matter how tempting the thought of what could have become of them would have been. He would never have gone there, not if he had known he would have to sacrifice what was most dear to him.

He was a realistic person, he knew what people thought about him, they saw him as heartless, cold, and he'd always subtly tried to live up to their believes. Being emotionally cold would make possible enemies think that he didn't have any weak points. He knew exactly what they thought of him. And in those days after the collapse of the museum he had actually wished he could become as emotionally cold as people saw him just to get rid of the pain. He'd been so close to quit everything then, most importantly Schwarz.

Schuldig would never have approved of it since it would have meant that Nagi and Farfarello would have to go back to Rosenkreuz to be assigned to new teams. Schuldig had always cared for them and out of respect for his partner, he had decided to continue with Schwarz, although it had been the hardest decision he'd ever made. Estet had actually offered him an assignment where he could work on his own and he'd seriously contemplated just taking it and starting a completely new life. He had stayed. But whenever he had seen either Farfarello or Nagi he'd always been reminded of Schuldig. On top of it all their replacement for Schu had been another telepath, although he'd unmistakeably asked for a different talent.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, staring at his surroundings with unseeing eyes. He didn't need this right now, this was definitely not an appropriate situation where he could engage in serious soul-searching. This was way too important to not be planned elaborately, his instincts were screaming at him that if anything went wrong he'd never see him again. And he didn't really think he could bear losing him again.

He stared at the entrance door to Schuldig's favourite café, one of the few places where Schuldig had ever been able to completely relax and enjoy being around `normal', that is `unshielded', people. It was a small café in the middle of the town, a quiet place where the redhead had always found some peace of mind after one of his club-nights. Brad had never been in the café, had only seen it from the outside when he had picked up a very bleary-eyed, if still very wide awake telepath and then driven him home.

A quick glance at his watch told him that it would only be two more minutes before they'd meet and as if on cue his hands once again trembled slightly and he took a deep breath to calm the nagging feeling of nervousness that had been troubling him for the past days. One of the downsides of being a clairvoyant was the fact that his feeling always told him when something big and potentially dangerous was about to happen. Right now he had the strange feeling that indeed there would be something happening in a few moments that would change his life once and for all. He despised changes, most of all changes that concerned his privacy or his feelings, although on the other hand he was aware of the fact that they were necessary, even the bigger ones. Without change there wouldn't be improvement and that was something he had always believed in.

And, to be honest, things could hardly get any worse..

As he finally made his way towards the door of the café Brad Crawford, the Oracle, leader of Schwarz and Estet's most powerful clairvoyant wasn't aware of the fact that it could always be worse…

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tbc..