Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Chaos Came Early ❯ Step by Step ( Chapter 10 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

For Phoenix, because she nagged so nicely, and for everyone else who has waited for me to post something...


“—they stink, too,” Schuldig complained. Again. He was repeating himself. “And they’re stupid. Riding a camel is like all the dorky no-thrill-just-make-you-sick rides at an amusement park, for the idiots who don’t have the guts to ride the big stuff. And they—GAH!”

Crawford did not smile as Schuldig’s camel expressed its opinion of him with a wad of spit. Farfarello made up for him, laughing so hard he fell from his own camel. Which promptly took off as Crawford had foreseen, the painted orange arrow—Schuldig’s attempt to show the holy warriors how to “loosen up a little”—flashing on its haunches. Farf turned to his friend for a hand, Schuldig snatched the boy’s kafiyeh to mop his face. Then he started beating his camel with it.

“Stop, Schuldig.” As camels went the beast was patience itself, but no animal would stand that for long.

“Come here, boy, they would only fall on you.” The Mahdi sighed and gave Farfarello a hand up behind him. “Mr. Crawford, I wish to be with my men. What is it we are watching for?” he asked, absently adjusting his seat to avoid Farf’s pointy objects.

“In another moment...” Crawford said, shading his eyes to watch the holy warriors creep up on the government patrol. Downwind, they could probably smell the patrol, neither side of this conflict cared much for hygiene. And—there, contact. “Now, Farfarello.”

The Irish boy snatched the Mahdi’s head, cursed and dropped the kafiyeh, grabbed hair and yanked the man’s head back, slit his throat and shoved. The camel sidestepped uneasily as his former master fell at its feet.

“Well done. But aim the blood better next time,” Crawford said, grabbing the beast’s reins. “Most of it is on your camel. If we meet someone, that will make things difficult.”

“I’ll practice that, Herr Crawford.” Farfarello picked up the Mahdi’s kafiyeh from where it had caught on the saddle and jammed it on his head. “Are we done, then?”

“Yes. Take that off, the man had fleas.”

“So do the camels, Herr Crawford.”

“Take it off.”

Farfarello rolled his eyes, but took it off. Crawford did the glinty glasses thing.

“Well done, gentleman. Thanks to you another country descends into anarchy.”

“Hurray for anarchy!” shouted the embodiment of chaos. “Now can we get back to civilization?”

“After we get some ice cream.”

***

The ride back to the airport went much faster than the journey to the camp, because Crawford let Farfarello drive. He sat in the passenger seat and kept them on the road, while Schuldig bounced around the back seats planning a trip to the nearest mall.

“Schu,” Crawford said after a while, “the nearest mall is probably in Spain.”

“How long till Spain?” Schu asked.

“Wrong continent, Schu-Schu!” Farfarello whooped and zipped around a donkey in the road. “Ten points!”

“You went behind him, it’s only five. Crawww-forrrrd, I want to go shopp-iiing. I want—ooh, they split! Twenty-five if you nail both chickens!”

Crawford snatched Schuldig as they swerved, buckled the boy in his belt quickly enough to keep them from rebounding off the dash as the SUV rammed an embankment.

“Inertia,” he reminded, releasing the telepath and adjusting his glasses. “You have to remember inertia, Farfarello. The car wanted to keep going the direction it was headed.” Damn, he’d oversimplified, now the boy would ask—

“How can a machine want anything?”

Sigh.

“Way to wreck the car, Fuckerello! Now how the hell are we getting to the mall?” Schu demanded, blithely ignoring his part in the accident. “Craww-forrrd—“

Crawford got out to See the possibilities, then went around to the back.

“A truck will come in three minutes,” he said, pulling his luggage out. “Which is fortunate for both of you, I have an appointment and I do not care to be late.” He forbid them to kill the farmer, simply because they both needed to learn restraint. He forgot to tell Farfarello to extend that restraint to the livestock. Schuldig, pouting at being in the back with Farf instead of on Crawford’s lap—honestly!—in the cab, didn’t tell him until it was over.

The farmer was frightened, but swore he’d been on the way to the butcher, he didn’t mind. Really.

She was late. Everything he’d gone through to get them there on time and clean—Farfarello’s practice in the back of the truck having created a bit of a mess—and she was late. Crawford Saw it soon enough to decide they would walk rather than take a cab. The last thing he needed was to spend half an hour in an ice cream shop denying Schuldig’s pleas for a second dessert.

As it was the German had chocolate sauce smeared across one cheek when the brunette walked up to them. Crawford smiled and stood, kissed her cheek before he turned to his team.

“Gentlemen, this is Kacia. Kacia, meet Schuldig—“ who suddenly became aware of his face, “—and Farfarello. I ordered you a sundae, Kacia, it should be here momentarily. Caramel, if I recall correctly?”

“Show-off,” the woman growled as a waitress placed the treat in front of the open seat, next to Crawford’s coffee.

::She’s a psi!::

::I am aware of that, thank you.:: Crawford held her chair, then sat himself.

“So, Kacia, did you have a pleasant flight?”

“No.” The brunette picked the cherry from her sundae and frowned on it, laid it on her plate. “You still have chocolate on your face,” she told Schuldig. “No, it was not a pleasant flight, Mr. Crawford, and I’ll thank you to tell boy toy there to leave my shields alone. ”

::She’s a bitch!::

::I am aware of that too.::

::You call that private? Did you run away from your training, or did they throw you out?::

::She’s going to die.::

::Didn’t we cover this? You can’t kill your teammates, Schuldig.:: Crawford closed himself off in time, he only heard the edge of Schuldig’s shout, though the waitress clutched her bleeding nose and scurried away.

Kacia smiled.

*****

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