Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Coming Home ❯ 27 ( Chapter 27 )

27

and I don't want to be part of your world

and I don't want to see the things you see…

Since finding that little bar the other night, I had a pretty good idea where we were in relation to the rest of Tokyo and its outlying areas. Finding the places kids go would not be too difficult. Good hunting, is it? I grinned, grateful for the practice.

Nagi read the street signs and placed himself on the map with ease. I kept a light mental touch on his thoughts, trying to strengthen our team bond without hurting him. The moment he recognized where we were, it was like a circuit switching on: he started remembering streets and bus lines, and got us to the next bus eastbound with time to spare. The few people waiting to board looked at him curiously and with some discomfort; they judged him a troublemaker. Good. They'd keep their distance, then. I made certain they didn't notice me at all.

On the bus, I counted the other passengers. Ten, a mixed crowd. With extreme caution I touched their minds one by one. No psi talents, no hidden reasons for being there. Just people on a bus, which was how they perceived Nagi, as well. So far so good.

::Where do we go next?:: Nagi asked.

::There's a club not far from here. We'll get off at the next stop and walk the rest of the way.:: He didn't seem happy about the club part, but didn't argue. Again I found myself wondering if the restrictions on the kid had been for nothing, if we could finally give him a more normal life now.

::With you around, nothing is normal,:: Nagi shot back. ::Schuldig, are you going to keep babbling at me, or are we getting off this bus?::

God damn. I really had to get that leakage problem under control. ::Yeah, get off here.:: I followed him to the sidewalk, then took the lead. I let my telepathy sweep out ahead of us and fan around behind like wind around a wing. People, oh people, beautiful, maddening, intoxicating people. The nighttime people were a different breed from the daylight souls. These were my people.

::Schu?::

I brought myself back to my own head and realized I had nearly been dancing as I walked. ::Sorry, kiddo, got a little carried away.:: A little? Well, basically. It reminded me of those chaotic months when my gift had flared into full, mind-bending life. An early puberty combined with the pressures of Rosenkreuz and bang! The inrush of other minds had given me an incredible high, at least until my own mind had threatened to dissolve under the onslaught. ::I'm okay, Nagi. Really.::

::Of course you are. Aren't you supposed to be invisible?:: He regarded me with a slightly raised eyebrow, and I realized that some of the passersby had noticed the tall red-haired gaijin who really didn't want to be seen just then. I sent them the image that I was actually a brown haired tourist sort trying to proposition a local bishounen. The less I have to change, the easier it is to influence people's minds. Brown hair is a simple shift from red, especially under street lights. Mildly scandalized, they promptly ignored the two of us.

::Better, chibi?::

Nagi glared at me. ::Great. Now they think I'm a prostitute.::

I led him to a club I remembered seeing, a place frequented by vampire wanna-bes and other fashionable misfits. If they accepted him, the disguise was flawless. There was always the chance they would sense he wasn't quite the same as they; it was a chance we had to take. I grinned to myself; I was thinking about Nagi as though he were an animal we were trying to return to the wild.

::Does it never end?:: Nagi's mental voice came through, dry and biting as a cheap martini.

My good humor did not flag. In fact, at the moment, damn near everything was funny. I knew I was courting disaster, opening myself up like this, but damn it felt good! This was what I was made to do, to ride the tide of thought from one mind to another, feeling whispers of emotion and eavesdropping on the secrets of their hearts. My mind whirred and spun, dizzy with the input; my body craved movement to balance the motion of my thoughts. As Nagi paid the club's entrance fee, I showed the doorman a valid ID in Nagi's empty palm, then followed the boy in unseen.

Nagi stopped just inside the door, panic rising. I cast about for its source, then realized it was just Nagi's reaction to the differentness of this place. Fast rhythmic music surrounded us, permeated us; I could feel it pulling my heart to join it, and all I wanted was to lose myself in the sound. All around us, beautiful youth rejoiced in itself. Some of the dancers were stoned, but not as many as I had expected. Most were just caught in the music, high on themselves.

But Nagi was not thrilled or moved to dance. He stood like a deer caught in headlights, his pulse fluttering in his throat. ::Schuldig,:: his mind whispered, ::get me out of here.::

::It's all right, chibi, you're safe with me,:: I told him, moving closer and gripping his arm firmly. ::We won't stay long. Just try to relax, nothing here will hurt you.::

::It's…loud.:: Beneath that, the thought ::I mustn't:: echoed with old pain.

I looked into his eyes and forced my will on his, carefully so as not to hurt him, but without allowing for argument. ::Nagi, trust me.::

He gave me a blank nod, for the moment forgetting his fear. I put my hand on his back, more to ground myself than to give him comfort. If this place was freaking him out, I didn't dare lose myself, no matter how badly I longed to do just that. It had been so long since I'd danced…

I didn't realize that the music had pulled me in again until I felt Nagi relax against my hand. Through our team link, I had given him an almost hypnotic dose of rhythm and joy, and he was almost starting to like it. Carefully, not wanting to break this moment, I steered him into the crowd. Dancing was out of the question, but I wanted him to make one circuit of the room, just to show him that he could do it. The minds around us were quite willing to be manipulated, and so the dancers only saw one lovely goth boy, vaguely familiar in the way all fringe dwellers seem to be. They took no notice of the red-haired young man in black leather and a grey linen shirt, one hand on the goth boy's shoulder.

One circuit was his limit, but it was enough. By the time we approached the door, the fear had started rising in him again, and I knew I couldn't wrestle it down until we'd gone. We exited without notice, the music a lingering seduction in my head.

Nagi made his way to the bus stop and dropped to the bench. For a moment I thought he was hyperventilating, but then he took a deep breath and looked up at me. "Are we done for the night?"

I looked around. We seemed to have the street to ourselves. "Yeah, guess we are, kid. Can I get you to come back here sometime? Maybe you could relax enough to enjoy it some."

"Schuldig, I'm not like you. I don't dance, I don't want to dance, I've never danced in my life. And that music was weird." Nagi tilted his head back, looking for stars. Street lights glowed off low-hanging clouds, hiding the greater sky from him. I felt his frustration adding to my own, though the two were of keenly different sorts.

"Kiddo," I said, sitting beside him, "music won't hurt you. I think they lied to us about that."

"How can you be sure?" He turned to glare at me, fear and disgust mingled in his night-dark eyes. "They said I'd lose control, I could kill people, tear buildings down. You know I can do it. You've seen what happens."

"I know, but that wasn't from music, or any of those things. You were sad, you were angry, you'd just lost someone --" I tried to stop my mouth but too late.

"Shut up. I don't want to talk about it."

"Nagi…"

"I mean it, Schuldig."

In silence, we waited for the bus. In silence, boarded. I didn't even try mental speech: he had his shields up to the full. We returned to the apartment, him in silent anger and me keeping us both unseen.

Brad greeted us at the door. Nagi strode around him and into his bedroom, shutting his door with quiet determination. I sighed and pushed the apartment door closed.

"Should I even ask?" Brad inquired, watching me intently.

"It went fine," I murmured. "Until Nagi pointed out that the club music wasn't on his allowed list. He panicked a little. I managed to hold him together, walk him around some and let the locals get a look at him. He passed without a hitch. I think it'll hold up anywhere we go, if we can just get him used to the idea."

"He's been living under their restrictions all this time," Brad reminded me needlessly. "It's not surprising that he's a little scared."

"Brad, he's supposed to be free now! We all are! What's the point if he has to go on living like some lab animal? You know those restrictions are bogus!"

"Keep it down, Schu," Brad growled, his own agitation seeking a target. "You'll wake Farfarello. Besides, I'm not ready to discuss this with Nagi, and he'll hear you if you're not careful."

"Too late, Crawford," Nagi stated from his doorway, "his voice travels."

I mouthed the words Oh, shit. Crawford glared at me. I wasn't ready for this, not from him, not tonight. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to regain some composure before the fight began in earnest. Brad was right, Nagi shouldn't be in on this discussion until we had a better idea what to do for him. It would just make him upset, and he didn't need that. But I couldn't manage to keep my mouth shut, and Nagi had heard the lab animal comment, and I was about to be in deep shit from one if not both of them.

"To hell with that, Schuldig," Nagi snarled at me, "you're just as scared of me as they were. I'm a lab rat, is that it? Something they were trying to perfect, take what nature gave them and make it stronger? You don't want to help me, you're just curious about what would happen if the safety locks came off."

"Nagi, that's enough," Crawford started, turning toward the angry boy.

"Crawford, you know that's it! He's just curious, just like they were. I like my restrictions, okay? I like feeling safe, damn it! Can't you just leave me alone?" Nagi shook with emotion, angry tears streaking through his eye makeup like black rain.

"Nagi. That's enough."

The boy sort of hiccupped and fought down his reaction, forcing himself to a semblance of calm. "Hai, Crawford-san."

"Clean up and go to bed." Crawford's tone was sharp, but not enough to wound. He watched the boy duck into the bathroom. Then he turned to me. "That was incredibly stupid, Schuldig. Do you know how much he does and does not know of their conclusions about him? Do you have any idea?"

"Don't," I told him. "Just don't." I was still a little high, a little irrational. This was not a good time to discuss anything. My anger reflex was a little too tightly strung at the moment and I could feel it wanting to snap.

"Schuldig, the lab animal comment was a bad thing. You know that, right?" Crawford glared, daring me to contradict him. "You know he thinks the restrictions are the only thing keeping him from losing control of his power and killing us all."

"But they're not! Esset lied, Brad! They lied to us, they lied to Nagi, they--"

Not a fist, but the flat of his palm struck my cheek with the sound of a whipcrack. The fist would have hurt less: I could strike back if he punched me, if I were still standing, anyway. But this was humiliating. I was right, damn it! We both knew it. I took a shuddering breath, choked down the fury and hissed, "Why?"

"Right now, Nagi's world is being tipped on edge. If they were wrong or if they lied, nothing will happen. But if they were right, and if they were telling the truth, then Nagi is correct in seeing all our lives in peril. I respect that boy enough to give him time to deal with it. You and I both know, Schuldig, that he is more powerful than any other telekinetic ever before seen at Rosenkreuz. There is a chance that he is the strongest that has ever been. You also know, perhaps even more deeply than I do, that the only thing that truly frightens him is his own gift." Crawford watched my face as I listened. He must have seen something that satisfied him, because he turned away suddenly and said, "Leave him alone for now. You'll only make things worse."

A thousand words begged to be said, a thousand insults and barbed comebacks and angry retorts. I'll only make things worse? What the hell?

Before I could say any of them, I saw his back stiffen and he cleared his throat, addressing me without looking at me. "If you can't stop projecting, Schuldig, I suggest you find a spot in the apartment far enough away from Nagi and from me so we can all get some sleep. And learn to think before you talk. That mouth of yours will keep getting you in trouble if you don't."

"Fuck this." I turned and headed back to the door. "The team is falling apart, Crawford. I tried, I did my best, but you think you can treat me like shit now and I won't stand for it. We survived, damn it, and we're free, and now we're stuck in Brad Crawford's own designer hell. Fuck that."

"Schuldig." Crawford's voice sounded strained.

I paused, door ajar.

Brad paused, too. Then, "Be safe."

I fled into the night.

Author's notes:

All of the author's notes for the quotes and translations for this story, among other things can be found at www.hopeforlorn.net under GuiltyRed. All of my Weiss work is hosted there.

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