Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Coming Home ❯ 40 ( Chapter 40 )

40

Where do I take this pain of mine?

I run, but it stays right by my side

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Positive," Nagi replied as he knelt on the floor and closed his eyes. "I want to know, Schuldig."

I sighed and shook my head. This wasn't the sort of thing I wanted to be doing with Brad gone, in case anything went wrong. But Nagi's sense of pride wouldn't allow this to become a public spectacle, even with his own teammates, so it had to be now, or not at all. I sat in front of him and put my hands on his shoulders. "If you start to feel sick, stop, okay? And if I hurt you, tell me immediately."

"Just do it."

"Okay, kiddo. Like we practiced it: relax." Switching to mental speech, I continued the instructions. ::Relax, and focus. Am I clear to you?::

::Yes. It doesn't hurt yet. Keep going.::

Pushing down my own misgivings, I ventured deeper into Nagi's mind. Unlike Farfarello's chaotic mental poetry and Brad's stark inner office, Nagi's intellect had formed a neat, interconnected web that reminded me of computer circuitry. Everything followed a logical order, showing me what I needed to see with very little effort. This was both a good thing, and bad - good for me, but I still didn't know what all had been done to him at Rosenkreuz, and if a team-level telepath could get in so easily, it bothered me to think about what a training-level one could do.

::Okay, Nagi, now I want you to reach for your powers. Reach, but do not touch.::

Intention made action: tiny flashes of lightning flowed through his thought process as Nagi focused more deeply inward and reached toward the source of his gift. Flickers of pain echoed back. ::Okay, stop, stop!:: I pulled back from his mind just enough to reconnect with my own eyes and look at him. All color had drained from his face. ::Nagi, just ease back, okay? Ease back, and calm your body down.::

The boy took a shuddering breath, then a more easy one. Slowly the pain receded and Nagi began to visibly relax.

Damn, this wasn't good. I wasn't trained for this kind of work. There were specialists who could block and unlock powers telepathically, but that wasn't something they'd seen fit to teach me. I didn't want to go fumbling about in Nagi's head: a mistake would be devastating. But I couldn't just let the kid suffer, either. "Nagi, can you hear me?"

"Yes. Are we stopping now?" His voice sounded strained.

"Do you want to?"

"No. Do I have to?"

I reached out and cupped his cheek; the skin was cool and a little clammy. "No, kiddo, we can try it again, if you want. I just don't want to hurt you."

Nagi opened his eyes and gave me one of those too-old stares. "I don't want to let the team down, Schu. I don't want to let Crawford down. If we have to fight, I have to be ready."

I nodded. "Okay, let's try this again, with feeling."

Nagi rolled his eyes at me. "Schuldig, this isn't a stage performance."

"How do you know about that sort of stuff?" I asked, baffled that my comment hadn't gone right over his head.

"I've seen you watch those old movies, Schu."

I couldn't resist. "So watching me watch movies is okay, but you won't watch them yourself?"

"Schuldig, it's different. You know that." Nagi stretched, then resumed his pose and shut his eyes.

Something occurred to me then. "Chibi, if I find something in your head that shouldn't be there, what should I do about it?" If I could remove the suggestions that his restrictions were necessary, that would change everything.

"Do whatever you think Crawford would tell you to do," Nagi replied.

I reached out for his mind again. On impulse I told him, ::Chibi, trust me and let go for a minute.:: I felt him frown, but his thoughts drifted to a lower frequency, mimicking sleep, allowing me to take control of his mind directly. This would leave me wrung out and likely in pain, but if it would help Nagi, it was more than worth it.

Testing the connection, I made him raise and lower his right hand; easy enough. I'd done that to people plenty of times, taken simple motor control from them. Now, the tricky part. Slowly I felt for the reins of his power. I'd never done this before, but I did know the theory. If I could make things move using Nagi's mind, the problem was in the programming, so to speak. If I couldn't, or if it caused him pain for me to try, it was probably something wrong with the hardware. I wasn't sure which was the preferred outcome.

"Itai!" Nagi hissed aloud.

::Calm, kiddo, find the calm,:: I told him, trying to back out of his mind as quickly as I safely could.

::Schuldig, I'm gonna throw up.::

Regaining my own motor controls, I reached for the little trash can I'd put near us for just such emergency. I barely got it in front of him in time. As Nagi clung to it and retched, I hurried to the bathroom for a washcloth.

Kneeling beside him, I gently rubbed at his back and shoulders, waiting for him to finish. Then I wiped his face with the washcloth, cleaning up the spittle from his mouth. Hand shaking, Nagi reached up to take the cloth from me to finish the job.

On the table waited a bottle of headache pills and a cup of water. I helped myself, then offered some to Nagi. He shook his head, preferring the pain over a renewed bout of nausea. He did take the cup and rinse out his mouth, spitting into the trash can with a grimace.

"You done?" At his weak nod, I took the trash can from him and went to dump it in the toilet. My own head was pounding now. The backlash had hit with full force.

Returning to the living room, I found Nagi still kneeling but curled up in a little ball on the floor. I sat beside him and stroked his hair. "Ah, kiddo," I murmured. "It was a good try. We'll work more on it later, okay? I promise, I'll help you fix it, if I can."

"Can you?" Nagi whispered. "I'm scared. What if it can't be fixed?"

"Then you help the team in other ways, chibi," I told him, understanding his fear was not for himself but for Schwarz. "You're still a computer genius, right? That'll be important, I know it will."

"Are you a precog now?" Nagi murmured, turning his head a little to look up at me.

I smiled at him and blurted out the first funny thing I could think of. "They say you are what you eat, right?"

That one eye peeking up at me rolled and shut. "I didn't need to know that. Thanks for the visual."

"Do you want some aspirin now?"

"After that lame joke? Yes, please." Nagi slowly uncurled and sat up, his features knotted in pain.

I gave him the pills and water. Nagi's hand was steady as he took them from me, though he winced as he fought the aspirin down.

With a heavy sigh I turned and looked toward the window. Though the curtains were shut, I could see the faint glow of streetlights at the edges. Damn, this exercise had barely taken half an hour and the kid was wiped. So was I, for that matter. And we had another day to go before Brad got back. I rubbed at my eyes. I had to pull myself together, for Nagi's sake.

"Schuldig?"

"Yeah, kiddo?"

"Arigato," he said with a tiny nod; his headache wouldn't allow for any more movement than that. "You don't have to do it again. It won't do any good anyway."

"We don't know that for certain, Nagi," I told him. I wasn't about to admit defeat, it just wasn't in my nature. "Think of it like a broken bone. Of course it hurts to try to use it without a cast on it, and it can't mend that way. You have to keep the bone straight and supported, or it won't get better, right?"

"Schuldig, are you calling me a bonehead?" Nagi asked, totally straight-faced.

I snorted a laugh in spite of myself. "Well, now that you mention it," I retorted. "But seriously, no, I'm trying to make a point."

"By talking in circles. As usual."

"Chibi, what I was trying to say is, this is an injury we can't splint. Of course it's going to hurt if you try to use it before it's healed."

"So when will it be healed?" Nagi asked, blunt as always.

I sighed and shook my head. "Kiddo, that's the part I don't know. Brad might have an idea, but I just don't know. I think it might help if we work together, try to get past the pain and let you test it a little. But that's going to take some time."

"I hate this," Nagi stated with no emotion behind the words. "I hate being helpless."

"You still have your intellect, Nagi," I reminded him. "You're not helpless, you're just…" I stopped. I'd nearly called him "normal," which, powers or no, Nagi most certainly was not.

"Broken."

"No, kiddo. You're not broken. Just, well, a little bruised. You'll mend." I gave him one of my encouraging smiles, and as usual he rolled his eyes at me like I was some kind of pervert. I ignored it. "And until you do mend, remember, the majority of sixteen-year-olds do not have telekinesis, and they do just fine. You're a fucking genius, Nagi. A genius who has a way with computers. And if you need to fight, I did teach you how to use a gun."

"Schuldig," Nagi replied with dry patience, "the majority of sixteen-year-olds are not being hunted by Esset, either."

I paused, considering something Brad and I had only just touched on, but never fully discussed. Were they after the team, or individuals? If the latter, which of us did they want to take back, and why?

"I can tell you're going there," Nagi stated, watching me. "They never figured out how strong I am. Now they know I can hold back the sea. Who do you think they're after?"

"Kiddo…"

"No, Schuldig. You can't convince me that I'm wrong. And you can't make it better." Nagi got up and slowly paced around the room. "They're after me, and they don't know that I'm broken. When they find out, they'll kill us all."

"Then," I stated just as firmly, "we make certain they don't find out. That's what a team is about, Nagi. We watch out for each other. Why would you use your powers and draw attention to yourself if we can do the same things without it? We'll find a way, and you'll mend, and things will turn out all right."

"Brad says you're going to join Kritiker," Nagi said, not looking at me. "Is it true, Schuldig? Are you?"

I blinked. The thought hadn't crossed my mind, until that moment. I did have a contact, but he didn't work for them anymore. "No, Nagi. I am not. I won't leave the team," I told him, rising to join him by the kitchen doorway. "Why the hell would he tell you something like that?"

"Because he knows you," Nagi replied. "Maybe he's hoping that by telling me it won't happen. That's why I told you about it. I don't want you to go." He looked up at me, his eyes shiny and dark. "I don't want you to go."

"I won't, kiddo." What I will do, I thought to myself, is get in Crawford's shit about his scaring the kid like that.

"Don't fight with him," Nagi said, clearly picking up on my intentions. "I just want us to be okay."

I regarded this intense young man, this incredibly beautiful human being, and smiled. "Nagi, we will be okay. Schwarz will get through this. We're the most amazing team ever put together, we can handle anything."

"You really think so, or are you just talking?"

I leaned down to look into his face, my hands on his shoulders. "Nagi, I believe we can get through this. It may not be easy, it probably won't be pleasant, but we can do this, because we're a team. Now, did Brad tell you anything else that'll get me pissed off? I'd rather get it out of the way now, if you don't mind."

Nagi thought a moment, then shook his head. "No, that was it."

"Feel like eating anything?" I asked as I remembered we were right by the kitchen. "How's your head? Aspirin working for you?"

"No food, thanks, but some tea would be nice. Head's still attached. Aspirin is working a little, I guess."

I led him into the kitchen and sat him down at the table. The little clock on the microwave told me it was nearly nine. I put water on for tea and rummaged in the fridge. My head still hurt like a bitch, but I needed food. I found the takeout box and smiled, remembering Yohji's apartment.

Then I frowned. Kritiker? Why would Brad See something like that?

"Schuldig?"

"I'm okay, chibi," I said, dishing up some food for myself and stuffing the plate in the microwave. "Just thinking."

"I'll leave you alone then, I know that's not easy for you."

"Ha ha. Cute. Real cute." Though I growled at him, inwardly it made me smile that he could still be so damn rude to me. I had trained him well.

As he sipped his tea and I worked on my leftovers, I asked him, "Nagi, what would you like to see happen with the team? I mean, we're on the run, but that doesn't mean we can't have a good time at it."

"Schuldig, how many times do I need to tell you? This isn't a holiday. It's not about having a good time."

"Fine, so how would you prefer to be miserable, then? Cold and wet? Hungry?"

Nagi glared at me. "I'm not an idiot, Schuldig. I don't want to be miserable, I'm just telling you this is not the time to be thinking about fun. Hell, you probably think Crawford left you here to watch over me, don't you? I think it's the other way around. He knew you and Farf would get into trouble if he left you together."

"Well, you do have a point, kid. But seriously, you're part of the team, you should have a say in how our great escape is pulled off, right? What would you like to see happen, here?"

Nagi sighed, obviously resigning himself to humoring me. He frowned a little as he thought about it, then said, "I'd like to see us beat them."

"But we already did that!" I said, exasperated.

"No, Schu. We haven't." He regarded me with those ancient eyes and said, "We broke the iceberg. There's more. Much more. And it's all bad. Any part of it could kill us. Every part of it wants to. Or take us back. I want to see it all gone." Nagi looked down at his teacup and mumbled, "I want to see us make it gone."