Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Coming Home ❯ 47 ( Chapter 47 )

47

 

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking…
(quit drinking…stop using amphetamines…stop sniffing glue…)

 

By sunset, the mood in the Landrover was as dark as our team name. I could taste the fear rolling off Nagi as he stared at the back of Brad's head. Brad himself had his shields locked down so tight I could barely sense he was in the vehicle at all. And Farfarello…the stress of the situation was pushing him toward a psychotic episode. I could hear the tell-tale traces of dissolution in his thoughts as his own personal logic began to usurp his mind.

 

I wanted a cigarette.

 

Hell, I wanted a goddamn drink!

 

The effort involved in traveling unnoticed through the Chinese countryside had my head pounding and my nerves frayed to the panic point. The team had never maintained a code three alert for this long before; the strain was immense.

 

As I maneuvered the Landrover into a stand of trees and hopefully out of sight, I realized that my arms were shaking. Fatigue and adrenalin, two of my closest acquaintances, were fighting for dominance, and my will was hard pressed to keep them both at bay. I fumbled at the wires, taking a mild jolt as I pulled them apart. “Scheiße!”

 

The Landrover's engine coughed, then fell silent.

 

We sat there a few moments, listening to the complete lack of sound as though none of us had ever heard such a thing before.

 

“We need to eat,” Brad stated. “Is this spot acceptable, everyone?” ::Schuldig, report.::

 

::No witnesses. Possible tire tracks through grass but that can't be helped,:: I replied. ::The vehicle itself was purchased fairly, if not legally. No one will look for it for a while, anyway.::

 

Brad opened his door and slowly stepped down. He swayed a little, never releasing his hold on the door. ::Nagi, if you would.::

 

Nagi hurried to his side, then guided him toward a place we could all sit and eat. Farfarello followed, carrying the bags of food.

 

I grabbed my travel bag and dug out a pack of cigarettes, my lighter, and a bottle of headache pills. Then I checked that my gun was ready for action, should we be interrupted. Only then did I join my teammates at our impromptu moonlit picnic.

 

They'd bought food that would last without refrigeration, and enough to get us through two meals. More, if we had to ration it, but at the moment none of us wanted to think about that. We ate in silence. Nagi ate more than I'd expected him to, and this bolstered my hope that his power, too, was mending itself. I offered him a little smile when he looked up.

 

As usual, he ignored me.

 

After dinner, I handed Nagi a couple of headache tablets and took two myself. Knowing those wouldn't be enough for my strained brain, I pulled out my cigarettes and lit one. ::Is the code three off now?:: I asked, hoping we could go back to spoken conversation.

 

::You ask me this after igniting a flare in the night,:: Crawford replied, his mental tone almost bitchy. ::How certain are you that we aren't being watched?::

 

::Unless they have us on a satellite spy cam,:: I shot back, then tilted my head back and regarded the night sky. I held my cigarette casually and saluted the stars with it, my middle finger extended just in case we were, in fact, on someone's video monitor.

 

As though he'd seen my gesture, Brad groaned and shook his head. ::Schuldig, this isn't a game.::

 

::I fucking know that!:: I retorted, my temper snapping at last. I pushed myself off the ground and started pacing. ::You're fucking blind, Brad! What the hell do we do now?::

 

::Prophet, are your visions stronger now that you can't see?:: Far asked, his mind disturbingly calm. ::With your outer eyes closed, is your inner eye now fully open?::

 

I rounded on the Irishman, seeking an outlet for my frustration and fear. ::He's not staying blind, Farf! You get that through your head right now! It wasn't gradual, there was no warning. It's not seer-blindness, it can't be!::

 

::Schuldig.::

 

I paused in my tirade. ::Brad?::

 

::We don't know what it is. We don't know if it is, in fact, permanent. All we can do is find a way to diagnose it and, if treatable, do so. More importantly, and the reason I called a code three - Esset must never know.:: Brad leaned back on the grass as though looking at the stars. ::They think they know how strong we are. They think they know our weaknesses. They do know some things, specifically the weaknesses they instilled in each of us before allowing us to leave Rosenkreuz. However, we have each managed to hold a little back from them, and they cannot begin to imagine our true strength. We have to keep it that way. The day they figure us out is the day they win, whether they ever find us or not.::

 

Far, Nagi and I regarded each other in silence, each knowing more about his fellows than Esset ever could. This was our strength: we trusted each other, we trusted Schwarz. Our team bond was unlike anything Rosenkreuz could teach, or would likely ever allow. We had become independent of our master, and with each moment of trust between us our team bond had deepened while our connection to Esset had decayed. This was why, even injured, our team link still came through. ::Weaknesses can be overcome,:: I mused.

 

::Yes, they can,:: Brad stated. ::For one thing, Schuldig, they know that you were not trained as a leader. In fact, I suspect they encouraged some of your more annoying quirks to ensure you would never become one.:: He held up his hand to ward off my inevitable outburst and continued. ::We all know I'm right, so don't even bother. Now, I am not turning the team over to you at this time. That would be premature, while I am still fit to lead. But you need to know - if I had to, I would make you lead in my place, Schuldig, whether you liked it or not. This is about our survival, something we weren't really trained for. Think about it. Rosenkreuz isn't about instilling real, useful skills in people. It serves itself by making its agents highly dependent upon Esset. We four have broken through that. Now we have to learn what they wouldn't teach. We can do this. But it won't be easy.::

 

::Where do we start, Crawford?:: Nagi asked, his thoughts nearly excited. ::If Schwarz can embarrass Rosenkreuz further, I want to try.:: More quietly he added, ::And if we can destroy their world…::

 

::In time, Nagi. In time. As for where to start, first we set up some new rules of engagement. Throw out everything they expect us to do, unless we can turn it to our own advantage. I had briefly hoped we wouldn't have to be so radical, that we could simply evade pursuit until they gave up, but I get the feeling that we'll have to be far more inventive than that.:: Brad smiled grimly. ::I came to this conclusion because of Schuldig's recent tantrums.::

 

::What the hell?:: I blurted, highly offended.

 

::Schuldig, think about it,:: Brad stated. ::If you find something distasteful, you whine. You do not shout. Shouting you reserve for those things that scare the shit out of you, and you've been shouting a lot lately.::

 

Again with the introspection. This was turning into one hell of a picnic. ::Okay, so maybe I have, what's your point?::

 

::What are you afraid of?:: Brad sat up and removed his glasses, wiping them casually on his sleeve. ::I want each of you to think about this. What fears could Esset use against you? Those are the things we must work on. Each man of Schwarz must be able to stand on his own no matter the situation. Identify your weaknesses, name your fears, and dismantle them, because Esset already knows them better than you do. And you can bet that Rosenkreuz augmented your worst fears, if not implanted them directly in the first place.::

 

I tightened my mental link and spoke solely to Brad. ::What about you? The claustrophobia?::

 

::That's my own, and I'm working on it,:: he replied simply. ::Open it back up, Schu. We won't have many opportunities to discuss this as a team.::

 

When the team link included all of us again, Brad continued. ::Schuldig, you need to work on your fear of responsibility. Face it, and learn from it. I trust you with our team, you have to trust yourself. Nagi, you will have to overcome the fear of your own gift. In time it will cease to hurt you. I wish I could tell you more.::

 

::I have no fears.:: Farfarello made his statement, then withdrew from the conversation before Brad could address him directly. He rose to his feet with ghostlike grace and strode soundlessly toward the Landrover. With two steps he scaled to the roof of the vehicle and stood there a moment, etched against the night sky, before sinking down to a crouch, his watchful eye no doubt scanning the near horizon for intruders.

 

Brad sighed. ::Watch him, Schu. He's not right lately.::

 

::I've noticed.:: I tried to reach his mind again, but all I got was static.

 

::So what do we do now, Crawford-san?:: Nagi asked, his mental presence very small and quiet.

 

::We keep driving Esset crazy, for one thing. That's why I haven't shared our itinerary with the team.:: Brad paused, then sent, ::We don't have one.::

 

::In other words,:: I stated into the momentary mental silence, ::you're making this up as you go?::

 

::Basically.::

 

I took a deep breath, then lit another cigarette. ::Damn, Brad.::

 

::I hope you didn't fling the butt away. Don't leave accidental evidence, Schu. Only what we intend to leave behind, remember?::

 

::Christ, Brad, what do you want me to do with the damn thing, then?:: I picked the crushed butt out of the dirt and looked at it with distaste.

 

Nagi watched with a hint of humor in his eyes as Brad told me, ::I don't care what you do with it, so long as you keep it until I tell you it's safe to dispose of it, Schuldig.::

 

::I'm done with my water, you can put it in the bottle,:: Nagi offered, tossing the bottle my way.

 

::Thanks.:: I stuffed the cigarette butt into the bottle, nearly biting through my current smoke in agitation. ::So when do I get to dispose of this shit, oh leader?::

 

::If you didn't smoke, you wouldn't have to worry about that, now would you?:: Brad muffled a yawn, then changed the subject. ::How's your head? And yours, Nagi?::

 

::Not bad, mild headache, seems to be fading,:: I told him.

 

::I'm okay.::

 

::In that case, I want us to move out. Schuldig, we're heading roughly west-southwest. At the moment I'm aiming for a hotel in the Han area. I'll tell you more as it becomes safe to do so.::

 

::Brad,:: I ventured, really not expecting a good answer, ::how vague do you have to be? Is this because of the mice?::

 

Brad nodded. ::I'm trying not to have any well-defined plans until they're fait accompli. That way, it might throw their precogs off a bit, at least on the timing of our movements. So far it seems to be working.::

 

::Or so far, they just haven't closed in on us yet.:: I shut my eyes and added, ::Or maybe, they're not chasing us anymore. Is that possible, Brad? Are we doing all this for nothing?::

 

::Do not,:: Brad stated emphatically, ::even consider that we are not being followed.::

 

::Fine, fine,:: I grumbled, still wondering if Brad were just paranoid. We hadn't seen any trace of Esset since Japan.

 

::And I intend to keep it that way,:: Brad informed me, rising to his feet. ::Would you rather see a few agents to restore your faith in my leadership, Schuldig? I arranged it for you once. I should think that would have sufficed.:: Not waiting for assistance, Brad turned and started walking toward the Landrover.

 

Nagi glared at me, then rose and followed Brad, taking his arm and guiding him to the vehicle.

 

I took a deep breath, sighed it out, then finished off my cigarette. “Damn.”