Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Coming Home ❯ 79 ( Chapter 79 )

79

 

tonight, make it magnificent

 

“God, Brad,” I breathed. I didn't know what else to say.

 

::I don't want the others to know, Schuldig. This is between you and me, understood?::

 

I wasn't used to seeing Brad vulnerable like this. He looked like a kid in a grown-up costume, graying hair and all. Only his eyes seemed old. I wrapped my arms around his chest and leaned my head against his.

 

He gave my arm a gentle caress. ::I've let you in farther than I ever expected, Schu. I don't have any choices left. The only way out…is through. That's just the way it is.::

 

My hands seemed to move on their own, massaging his chest and his belly as we stood there in front of the bathroom mirror. I could feel every breath he took echoed in my own ribs. ::I'm here for you, Brad. Always have been. But I think you know that.::

 

::I know, Schu. Thank you.:: His hand gripped my wrist, warm and secure.

 

A ghost of a smile tugged at my lips. ::I love you too.::

 

He pretended he hadn't caught that, but I could tell it was the wrong thing for me to say. His body tensed under my hands, and for a moment I thought he was going to tell me to leave him alone so he could take a shower.

 

But he surprised me. “Do you want to save some time, shower together?”

 

This time the smile was no ghost. I grinned at the prospect of a real shower in a real hotel. “Sounds lovely. I'll work on your shoulders some more.”

 

For the first few minutes all we did was wash, reveling in the fresh soap and shampoo and the steam. It had been too long since we had considered such luxury commonplace. I had missed it.

 

I stood under the spray and rinsed the foam from my hair, letting it slide down my back. Then Brad's hands were there, massaging and sliding over my wet skin. I braced my own hands against the wall as he washed my back, the soap smelling as bright as morning. His hands slid up under my hair, catching the spray in its length and creating a waterfall down my lower back. It felt fantastic.

 

Then he gently turned me to face him. I blinked at him through the mist.

 

“You're hogging the water,” he said with a tiny crooked smile.

 

“Sorry about that.” I traded places with him, quite aware of his arousal, and my own. As I picked up the soap and turned, I felt my breath catch in my throat.

 

Brad stood facing away from me, the water cascading over his broad shoulders and running in little rivers down his back. In the wash, his hair hid the gray, capping his head in ebony like an oriole, something a little more wild than tame, a creature of the air, not of land. The muscles in his back and shoulders worked as he washed that hair, revealing chiseled crevices and angles, and scars. Hundreds of scars, some small, some legendary. I'd seen them all before, but today they seemed very noticeable. We had all lost some weight since going on the run, but only on Brad did it look flattering, in a very rugged, hard way.

 

I lathered up a wad of suds and began working on his shoulders as promised. As I had done, he braced his hands against the wall, and for one amazing moment I wished I were inclined to top him. He was beautiful.

 

I closed my eyes and kneaded his shoulders, all the while trying to ignore the profound ache that dared me to try the unthinkable.

 

Then I felt him turn beneath my hands. Water spilled from his hair to catch in mine, trailing over our bodies as though we were one. His hands rose and pulled me closer. His breath tasted sweet as he pressed his lips to mine. Our erections brushed one another, nuzzled together as though each sought the other's heat.

 

I reached down and gave them both a squeeze. His pulse throbbed against my own.

 

Slowly Brad backed me toward the other wall, away from the spray. Then he gently turned me around, kissing along my jaw and down to my shoulder as he did so. I felt my toes catch on the skid-proof tub strips as Brad positioned us both.

 

What I felt in my heart made me want to stop time. Though he still couldn't say it, I knew that he loved me. I only wished I knew why it hurt him so much.

 

He took me in silence, merging his flesh with mine as we clung to the wet tiles and breathed steam like mating dragons. I spared one hand to stroke myself as Brad gripped my hips securely and thrust. Glancing down, I could see the muscles and tendons in his calves and feet, tense and strong and sure, the last bit of soap foam dancing around his toes. Then I let my eyes drift shut.

 

His passion filled me, in body and mind, and I heard myself panting before I registered I was out of breath. I stroked faster, the heat of the shower and the intense sensations getting the better of me and making me feel like I was about to pass out. With a mind-numbing jolt I came, spilling against the tile wall like I had in so many other showers before, though the water there was never so warm…

 

Strong arms held me up, then eased me down until I was sitting in the tub. Spilt seed glided down the tiles, probably getting in my hair, but all I could think about was breathing. Everything seemed to be pulsing with my heartbeat, sound and vision fading in and out with every thump.

 

Brad turned the water to cool; a soothing rain replaced the heady steam at once. He knelt and cupped my face in his hands. “Are you all right?”

 

I nodded, feeling too hot and thirsty and disoriented to speak.

 

Careful not to slip, Brad stepped out of the shower and fetched a glass of water. He held it to my lips, as my hands shook too much to be trusted with something so fragile.

 

When I started feeling a little more normal, he left the glass in my care and toweled off, then opened the door to let the room air out. I thought for a moment that we'd left Nagi and Far alone together for too long, but then I remembered we were in a public place, a hotel room, and Far knew better, no matter how deranged he might become.

 

I crawled forward to turn off the shower, then eased out of the tub. My legs were still shaky, and aside from the fainting spell I felt like I'd had the tumble of my life. Or one of them, anyway; definitely in the top ten. I sighed. My head was starting to ache, though, a sure sign I'd gone too far. Not a good thing, especially after fantastic sex. Getting an honest reaction from Brad was difficult enough; if he thought I was too high-maintenance, would he even bother again?

 

My worries evaporated as Brad returned to the bathroom with my clothes, and a smile. “Guess I don't know my own strength,” he quipped, leaning against the counter. “Feeling better?”

 

“Yeah,” I said, almost smirking. “You?”

 

“Much. Tha-”

 

I waved a hand at him. “No need to thank me, I was just doing my job,” I said with a cheesy movie-cowboy twang.

 

“The Lone Stranger strikes again, eh?” Brad moved closer until I could feel the warmth of his body against my cooling skin. He leaned in and kissed me tenderly on the mouth. “It's not actually your job, Schu. You could say no.”

 

“Not that kind of job, no,” I agreed, “you're not a leader privilege kind of guy. And I wouldn't give it to you if you were.” I caught his hand in mine and tangled our fingers together. With a sigh, I asked one of the questions that had been haunting me all my adult life. “Brad, will we ever figure out what's real and what's just rules? I mean, if one of us thinks one way, and the other -”

 

This time Brad shushed me, laying a finger across my lips. “Sometimes I think we say what we were taught to say, though we know better. Esset gave us our roles and our scripts. What we do with them is up to us. Real…is what we make of it.” Something in his eyes went dark as he whispered, “I can tell the difference.” Then he kissed me again, but this time it tasted like ashes.

 

I wanted so badly to just reach into his mind and find out why, but that would be a betrayal on a par with rape, and I don't do those games. Never have, not likely to start now. Not with him.

 

As he left the bathroom, I whispered, “I do love you, Brad. May your ghosts one day allow you to say the same for me.” I wiped my eyes with a towel and finished dressing.

 

 

 

 

A/N:

tonight, make it magnificent

“Atomic” - Blondie Eat To the Beat

 

The past and future resonate more strongly in Brad than the present does, except for those rare moments that Schu manages to see behind the mask. Yes, there are echoes here. And they speak volumes.