Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Creme ❯ One-Shot

“Creme”
By Viridian5
4/9/10

RATING: PG.
SPOILERS: None really.
SUMMARY: A bored Schuldig is a particularly annoying and dangerous Schuldig.
ARCHIVAL/DISTRIBUTION: Anywhere, as long as you ask me first.
FEEDBACK: can be sent to Viridian5@aol.com.
DISCLAIMERS: All things Weiß Kreuz belong to Koyasu Takehito, Project Weiß, Polygram k.k., and Animate Film. No infringement intended.
NOTES: Thanks to Rosaleendhu for pre-reading and some brainstorming and to Syvia for pre-reading.

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“Creme”
By Viridian5
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~ Something is wrong with a job if eating lunch is the most exciting part of my day. Can we report this guy for wasting Eszett’s time and manpower? ~  At least Schuldig had gained enough discipline to bitch over the telepathic team link instead of aloud.

~ It’s not your decision to make or your place to say, ~ Crawford answered. Maybe someday he could get his telepath to stop bitching at all, but he doubted it.

~ He’s a paranoid, delusional nutcase, and you know I have proof. ~

Nagi rolled his eyes.  ~ You’re just cranky that he’s a paranoid, delusional nutcase who won’t let any of us take a break for lunch. Just eat something. ~

~ That’s an excellent idea, Nagi. I’ll get some food and come right back! ~

Crawford managed not to sigh aloud as he thought of all the ways Nagi seemed more mature than the older telepath. ~ You’re not getting away with anything or going anywhere. You’ll follow orders. ~

~ He doesn’t even need one of us, let alone four of us! ~

~ Orders. ~

~ I’m fucking hungry! ~

Annoying.  ~ You’re not three years old. ~

Schuldig’s sudden grin didn’t bode well.  ~ You asked for it. ~ 

He reached into his jacket, took out two colorful shiny objects, and tossed one to Farfarello, who caught it with a really worrying grin. They each unwrapped foil to reveal an egg-shaped chocolate. Farfarello bit down hard on his with a visceral and almost audible squish, licked some white and yellow cream off his lips, and started to vibrate more. Schuldig bit the top off his and started to lick the mostly white crème out of the chocolate shell in strong, vigorous strokes, flicking his tongue in and out, occasionally punctuating the process with an obscene-sounding “Mmmm!” Crawford was a queasy mix of aroused and disgusted watching it. Nagi refused to look, but some people in the hall with them couldn’t help themselves. Worse, Schuldig’s sugar high would hit any moment now.

Only Schuldig would turn Cadbury Creme Eggs into horrific weapons.

Wait. “Farfarello, that’s Easter candy,” Crawford said. A religious fit might be preferable to sugar high carnage.

Bouncing a bit, Farfarello answered, “Eggs are pagan fertility symbols stolen and adapted. Besides, I like them.”

If he let Schuldig get away with this, worse would follow. Besides, he couldn’t let Schuldig get the upper hand within the team.

~ You little rat. Let me go, ~ Schuldig said. Crawford noticed that he and Farfarello stood too still and appeared to be trying to struggle against something. They looked enraged.

~ You two need to learn how to behave in public and stop embarrassing me, ~ Nagi said.  ~ Bitching at me over the link won’t do you any good either because I learned to tune your voice out ages ago. ~

As mature as Nagi could behave, in some ways he was still exquisitely teenaged. Nagi had even shut Schuldig’s mouth, an ability Crawford would love to have, even if the telepath could still talk with his mind.

~ Daddy’s little enforcer, ~ Schuldig sneered.

~ If something actually happens, I’ll let you go. Until then, enjoy being immobile. It should get fun when the sugar really hits. ~

~ I’ll get you back for this. You won’t know when or where.... ~

~ Same old, same old. ~

~ I won’t allow retaliation, Schuldig, ~ Crawford said with a smile.

Schuldig’s eyes turned toward him, about the only part of his body he appeared to be capable of moving.  ~ You need Nagi to do your dirty work for you? ~

~ Nagi is helping out the team. ~

~ Team? It’s two of us against two of you! ~

~ But I’m the leader, making my half of Schwarz the right one. ~

~ You could let me go, ~ Farfarello said.

~ I really doubt that. I know you, ~ Nagi replied.

~ At least Nagi is earning his paycheck, ~ Crawford said. Though he thought that perhaps he should think over ways of reporting their current client and getting themselves reassigned without making trouble for the team or getting a reputation for being difficult. A bored Schwarz tended to be almost as dangerous to itself as to other people.

  **********************THE END***********************

  More Viridian5 stories can be found in The Green Room version 3.0 at http://viridian.shriftweb.org/ No-frames but no-frills access available at http://viridian.shriftweb.org/index2.htm Fandoms represented: Weiß Kreuz, Saiyuki, GetBackers, Trinity Blood, Andromeda, due South, Hard Core Logo, Twitch City, X-Files, Once a Thief, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie, Angel, Two Guys and a Girl (was Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place), X-Men, Smallville, Doctor Who, Fight Club, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine