Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Curse of the Koneko ❯ Aya gets MAD ( Chapter 3 )

Curse of the Koneko

Chapter 3

With his eye narrowed, Farfarello pounced, heading straight for Ken...

Only to land on Omi!

Ignoring this setback, the kitten latched his claws onto Omi's face anyway. The poor boy, who had no clue as to why a hissing, scratching kitty cat just landed on him, almost fell, but Ken caught him and knocked Farfarello away.

"You baka koneko! How could you do that to Omi!" Ken reprimanded the kitten with a glare.

Farfarello backed away, fur raised and hissing. He had meant to hit Ken, not Omi! Usually his aim was dead on... Curse those new kitten reflexes! They were affecting his fighting ability!

Slightly shaken, Omi frowned at his kitten and asked, "What's wrong, Hn? Are you mad?"

"Yes! You are Nagi's, not his!" Farfarello meowed, though it was only heard as, "Meow! Hissss hiss hiss!"

Picking up his kitten, Omi held Farfarello an arm's length away to avoid his claws, just in case, and stared intently at the lone golden eye, trying to think of what could be wrong. Let's see... Omi had begun plotting his revenge against Aya, then Ken had teased him and Omi had teased back... Ken hugged him... and then the kitten went rabid all of a sudden... almost like all of those jealous fangirls...

Ah-HA! FANGIRLS! Eureka!

"Oh, I get it!" Omi beamed proudly at his cat, which was still staring at Ken. "Hn was defending me!"

Turning to look back at Omi, Farfarello's eye widened. In a way, that was almost right... Farfarello had been defending Nagi's territory from Ken...

"Uh... Jealous...?" Ken asked, disbelieving.

"Hai! He doesn't want to share his Omitchi with you, so he attacked when you hugged me!" Omi answered with a grin.

Of course it couldn't be true... Weiss's smartest was still as naïve as ever... Farfarello face-vaulted at Omi's obliviousness.

Ken raised an eyebrow. "He's jealous of me?! The cat's got a boyfriend who reads hentai magazines, and now he's jealous of me just because I hugged you?! Right..."

Not noticing Ken's sarcastic tone, Omi nodded. "Yup, he's jealous! Isn't he soooooo cute? He's like my own little fanboy-kitten!" He hugged Farfarello tightly, until the kitten was ready to faint from lack of oxygen. Finally, Omi released his kitten and set him on the floor. "Okay, Hn, be good! Ken, we ought to start on our [dramatic pause] INSTANT RAMEN, ne?"

The kitten glared at Omi. He was nobody's fanboy-kitten! Becoming a fanboy required worship and love and way too much horniness- Farfarello wanted absolutely none of that!

Clueless to the kitten's anger, Ken answered Omi, "Okay, but do you think this will really work?"

"Of course it will! You remember when Aya accidentally ate one of the cookies Yohji baked for him last year, don't you?"

"Oh yeah... That was funny! He was sick for a week! But... maybe that was because Yohji cooked it... He isn't exactly the Martha Stewart of the kitchen..." Ken said doubtfully. Farfarello looked up at the mention of Martha Stewart, wondering why they were talking about her.

"Perhaps, but you ate a cookie too and didn't get sick."

"But I'm used to my cooking already! I'm a really bad cook, you know."

"Just trust me. Aya will get sick! Now, go get a pot and fill it with water, then set it on the stove to boil."

Ken did as Omi instructed him as the other boy searched through the cabinets for the right package of instant ramen.

"Oi, Ken! What do you think is more lethal- chicken, shrimp, or beef flavored?"

"I'd have to say... beef! You know, mad cow disease and all!"

"Oh yeah! Hehe, good thinking!" Omi pulled out a package of beef flavored instant ramen while Ken set the pot on the stove to boil.

While the other two were cooking, Farfarello began to explore the kitchen. He'd never realized how dirty floors were when your face was only a few inches away from it. Dead bugs could be seen here and there, surrounded by the crumbs of food that had lured them there. Stains from long ago were still visible, and...

Farfarello's musings on dirty floors skidded to a halt when he spotted a live cockroach, scurrying about while searching for food.

But it wasn't just any cockroach- it was the very same one from earlier that day. The one that Farfarello had been hunting when he ran into Omi.

Of course, the chances of this truly being the exact same cockroach were slim to none, but Farfarello just knew this was that same annoying bug! Somehow, he sensed it, whenever he looked at its sleek black body or smelled its scent of garbage and trash cans. Call him crazy, but he knew that cockroach now and the cockroach from earlier today were one and the same.

And he planned to get his sweet revenge. Nobody is claimed Farfarello's victim and gets away unharmed! Except for Schwarz. And Weiss. And random people somehow involved with Schwarz or Weiss. But those are all strictly for plot reasons! Otherwise, should you fit in the category of 'other random people', you're toast!

The cockroach continued his search for food, oblivious to the kitten that now loomed over him...

Despite what the others may think, Schuldig wasn't interested in Yohji's hentai magazine - he was much more interested in the people around him (he'd already read that particular edition, anyway). Earlier, he had discussed several ways to bug Weiss with Farfarello, and what better time to begin than now?

With the aid of his telepathy, the kitten stared evenly at Aya as he read, digging through his thoughts and adding a few interesting suggestions.

Feeling a pair of eyes on him, Aya looked up towards Yohji, thinking it was an angry glare from the playboy. Instead he found the red haired kitten looking at him. What an odd cat... He was ready to go back to his book when a sudden thought came to him. Why not go upstairs and snoop around Omi's things? He spent so much time on his computer, there had to be something worthwhile there.

Perhaps he was being taken advantage of by one of those computer stalkers! Or maybe he was being sucked into a ring of perverted freaks who wanted to share their favorite hobbies with him!

Alarmed, Aya set his book aside and quickly left the room, suddenly eager to make sure there was nothing bad on Omi's computer. He walked to the boy's room, unaware that Schuldig was present in his mind the entire time.

Upon arriving, he sat down in front of his teammate's computer and turned it on. When the blank screen changed to show it was loading, Aya was prompted for a password. Uh oh... He hadn't thought it would be password protected...

'Try koneko...' someone whispered into his mind. Focused on the computer, Aya ignored the oddity of this, since he was alone in the room, and decided to try it. He typed in 'koneko' and hit enter. Immediately, the prompt disappeared and the desktop popped up in its place.

The next half hour or so was spent exploring the computer's files, but nothing significant had been found until Aya came across Omi's saved emails. There he discovered Nagi's email from earlier:

"Konnichi wa! Sorry I haven't had the chance to email you recently, but this is the first time I've had the house to myself in ages. The other three are out doing something really stupid- you don't want to know. How have you been?"

Upon reading this, Aya's eyes narrowed. They were... friendly with each other? But then, he read the last part...

"Love,
Nagi"

Oh, no, they were MORE than friendly... Love? He had found much, much more than he had hoped...This was no perverted computer stalker! This was worse! Much, much worse! Schwarz was tainting the most innocent of Weiss, and something must be done! Omi was fraternizing with the enemy! Nagi must have seduced him! It was time to take action and stop this horrible crime!

Aya came up with these silly conclusions one after the other, until he finally decided that he had to ban Omi from any contact with that baka Schwarz boy. He stormed back downstairs to the kitchen, ready to confront his younger teammate...

Schuldig grinned- or at least tried to in his cat body- when he saw Aya walk determinedly towards the kitchen. Yohji noticed as well, but pointedly ignored the Weiss leader and continued reading his wonderful hentai magazine.

This should be very fun, thought Schuldig. He abandoned his post beside Balinese and silently followed the angry redhead.

Omi and Ken were almost done cooking the [dramatic pause] INSTANT RAMEN meant to kill Aya so they could illegally immigrate to California. Farfarello was pouncing on a cockroach, which seemed to get away every time.

With a glare and a stomp, the angry leader of Weiss entered the kitchen dramatically- or at least as dramatically as he could compared to the [dramatic pause] INSTANT RAMEN! I mean, come on, it's just really hard to beat a common food meant to become poison in a dramatic contest.

"Omi?!" Aya asked, getting the boy's attention. "Why did Nagi of Schwarz EMAIL you?"

"Uhhhh.... WHAT?" Omi was shocked. Aya had discovered him in the middle of his plotting, and now he knows Nagi and him were.... friendly! Boyfriendly, even!

"I SAW THE EMAIL! NAGI SAID HE LOVED YOU! NOW EXPLAIN YOURSELF!" Aya yelled.

Ken glared at the redhead, who had angered the pleasant Omi to the point of plotting useless plans that involved [dramatic pause] INSTANT RAMEN. "Leave him alone, you bully! Omi, is this true?"

"Ummmm..." Omi blushed. Oh no, they were ALL going to find out! "Maybe....?"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY! SCHWARZ IS EVIL! E-V-I-L SPELLS SCHWARZ, DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!"

"YES I HEAR YOU! I'M SURE THEY CAN HEAR YOU ALL THE WAY IN AMERICA! YELL LOUDER, WHY DON'T YOU?!" Omi yelled back. "Now, what were you doing on my computer in the first place? WHO I EMAIL IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

"IT IS WHEN THEY'RE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU!"

"Omi..." began Ken. "Is Nagi that special friend you wanted to take with you when we immigrated to California after killing Aya and locking Yohji in the bathroom?"

Aya and Omi stared at the soccer player in disbelief. He had... just said...

"Is that true? You were plotting against me?" Aya said, deadly calm. This was even worse than he had first believed. Not only was Omi dating Nagi, but Schwarz was influencing Omi AND Ken into killing one of their own!

"Yes, and do you know why?!" Omi replied angrily. It was too late for denial, so he figured he should just stick to honesty.

"Because Nagi is a BAD INFLUENCE!"

"It's because you're a HEARTLESS LEADER! You're as bad as Crawfish!"

"Crawfish?" asked Ken.

"The guy with a stick up his butt? Isn't that his name?"

"You mean Crawford," correct Aya.

"Oh... Nagi calls him Crawfish..."

"His name is Brad Crawford, the leader of Schwarz and a powerful oracle. Avoid him and the rest of Schwarz at all costs," stated Aya, as if repeating Manx word for word.

"Geez, Aya, obsessed much?" Ken raised an eyebrow, wondering some crazy things...

"Ken! You told him our plan!" Omi shrieked, getting back on subject.

"Wha-?! At least I didn't tell him that we're gonna kill him with [dramatic pause]-"

"NO! DON'T TELL HIM THAT TOO!"

"INSTANT RAMEN!"

"GAAAAAH YOU IDIOT!" Omi glared at his teammates. "I am surrounded with MORONS!"

"You were... going to... KILL ME... with instant ramen?!" Aya's eye began twitching.

"No, with [dramatic pause] INSTANT RAMEN!" Ken explained.

"What's the difference?"

"One's more dramatic than the other. Instant ramen just can't compete in the dramatic contest with [dramatic pause] INSTANT RAMEN."

"...Whatever." Aya turned to Omi. "How could you DATE Nagi?! That... foul... play thing of Schwarz!"

"Foul play thing? Is that what you think of him?" The youngest of Weiss pouted. "I think he's cute and nice and a whole lot smarter than any of you!"

"Cute?! He's like... a killer bunny rabbit! Do you think killer bunny rabbits are CUTE?"

"Yes, I do," Omi stated defiantly. "Tot was like a killer bunny rabbit, you know. And Nagi liked her. And I like what Nagi likes. So, yes, I like killer bunny rabbits!"

"Awww, Aya, just leave the guy alone!" Ken defended his friend. "It's bad enough that his plot was discovered, he was forced to come out of the closet, and everyone found out about his fetish for killer bunny rabbits! Not to mention all the times you made fun of his shorts, tried to rid him of his pets, and..."

"I do NOT have a fetish for killer bunny rabbits! Just psychokinetic fifteen-year-olds!" the younger boy interrupted. Hmph! Would people EVER get him right?!

"Whatever, it's basically the same thing!"

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

They continued arguing, and Schuldig became bored of listening to it. They were just going in circles... He wandered over to Farfarello, who was still trying to catch the cockroach.

'Farf? What are you doing?!'

'Hunting.'

'I see that... Why?'

'No prey escapes twice from me.'

'Uh-huh... Have you been listening to them argue?'

'No.'

'Aya discovered Nagi and Omi's friendship... or boyfriendship, should I say.'

'That's nice. Now go away.' Farfarello was concentrating on his hunting, but it was impossible with Schuldig invading his mind.

'Nah, I think I'll stay.'

'...'

'You're not going to catch that thing.'

'...'

Schuldig paused his one-sided conversation to read his teammate's recent memories. Upon discovering the rabid pouncing kitty scene, the German was surprised at the man's reaction. 'Farf? You were defending Nagi?'

'Yes.' The kitten decided to give up hunting for now and talk. He would get his prey eventually, anyways.

'Why? I didn't know you even acknowledged the boy's existence.'

'Acknowledged? Existence? Don't use big words - your small brain might explode.'

'Shut up! I'm not stupid!'

'I never said that...'

'You're being really difficult, you know. Sheesh, all I wanted was to have a NICE, DECENT conversation with you!'

'And all I want to do is hunt. So go away.' Farfarello turned back to his cockroach prey, which was scampering away as fast as its little legs could go.

Schuldig sighed in exasperation and went back to listening to the three Weiss.

"NOOO!" Omi shrieked.

"Yes!" Aya glared at the boy. "You WILL go over to Schwarz and break up with that freak!"

"NO! You can't make me!"

Ken frowned. "Aya..."

"What?!"

"Why are you trying to control his love life?"

"I only want what's best for him."

"YOU SOUND LIKE MY MOTHER!" Omi accused. Schuldig grinned inwardly, thinking that Ken and Aya did act like Omi's parents. It was funny, really...

"Fine then. As your 'mother', I command you to stop seeing Nagi! I will drag you to Schwarz and FORCE YOU TO TELL HIM if I have to!!!" Aya yelled. Then, turning to Ken, he asked, "Will you help me get some sense into him?!"

"No way!"

"You have to! If I'm his mother, you're the father!"

"WHAT!?! Are you implying something?"

"It's only logical! Yohji can't be his father! He's too irresponsible!"

"I DON'T WANNA BE MARRIED TO YOU! You're a heartless assassin playing MOMMY to his teammate! I REFUSE TO BE ROPED INTO THIS!"

Completely ignored, Omi looked at his teammates. They were insane! If either of them really WERE his parent, Omi might just spare himself the torture and kill himself now. Shuddering in horror at the idea of Aya as his mother, Omi interrupted them, "QUIT IT! I don't CARE if Ken's my 'father' or if Aya's only being my 'mother' so he can get into Ken's pants! I JUST WANNA DATE NAGI AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!"

Aya gaped at Omi. Had he just suggested... "I do NOT want into HIS pants! That is DISGUSTING!"

"What? So you think I'm disgusting?" Ken asked, hurt.

"I didn't say that."

"Yes you did."

Before Ken and Aya broke into a fight, Omi said, "Aya doesn't think you're disgusting, Ken. He's just asexual - he thinks EVERYONE is disgusting!"

"WHAT?! I am not... That's not... ARGH!" Aya shrieked. "THAT'S IT! Omi, you're going to go and break up with Nagi! RIGHT NOW!"

Without another word, the leader of Weiss grabbed Omi and began dragging him out of the kitchen. Ken followed along while telling Aya to calm himself.

Not wanting to miss anything, Schuldig tagged along as well. He didn't want Farfarello to stay by himself in the kitchen and possibly do something really stupid, so he dragged Farfarello along by his collar.

'LET GO, SCHULDIG! I was hunting!'

'Too bad! You have to come!

Despite his protests, Schuldig refused to let go of him, and the one-eyed kitten was forced to go along.

Yohji was still sitting in the living room as the procession of three assassins and two kittens passed by. Eyebrow raised, he asked, "What are you doing?!"

"Aya's taking Omi to Schwarz's house to make him break up with Nagi and I can't stop them!" Ken answered.

"Oh... Sounds fun!" Yohji followed along as well, deciding that it might be more entertaining than his magazine.

Thus, Aya, dragging Omi, followed by Yohji and Ken, with Schuldig and Farfarello tagging along, the strange group began walking down the road to Schwarz's house. Crawford and Nagi were in for quite a fun party...