Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Destroying Brad’s Living Room ❯ One-Shot

This fic is a PWP...Point? What Point? I was bored! I don't need no stinkin' point!!! SHII-NNEEE!!! Oh...right sorry *coughs* on with the fic...and if you don't like FarfxNagi leave now....

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.....All anti-Fargi fans gone? Good!

Onward brave readers!

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"Come on Bradley! We're going to be late!" whined Schuldrich tugging at his *boyfriend's* arm.

"First of all, don't call me that," stated Crawford in his 'I have a stick waaayyyy to far up my arse' way, "and second I don't even want to go to a German movie festival...all those subtitles make my eyes hurt."

Schu just smirked. "Who said anything about paying attention to the movie...we're going so we can make out like crazed weasels in the back row."

"We could do that at home you know...."

"But it's so much more fun to do it in public!"

"Whatever..." the American sighed, defeated.

"Will you two just leave already," the 15 year old form on the couch that was Naoe Nagi grumbled.

"Ohhh...does Nagikins have plans tonight?" Schuldrich chuckled.

The youth scowled. "Actually I just don't want to go through another night of you and Brad tongue wrestling while I'm trying to watch TV...it's distracting."

"Yeah," chimed in Farfarello, who was currently engaged in drooling over an commercial for Gensu Knives™ (did I spell that right???). "I can't hear myself hurting God over you two."

The other three just sweatdropped.

"Ok...we'll be going now." Crawford grabbed his lover's arm and headed out the door, the two of them were soon in Brad's car and on their way to the movies which meant....

"We're alone...." A sly grin crept over Nagi's face.

"Bout f*ckin' time!" Farfarello chuckled as he flipped out the TV (the commercial was over and he wasn't about to watch the Martha Stewart Living repeat after it...she scared even him!) and took a seat on the couch next to his fellow assassin.

"So..." Nagi began.

"So..." Farf replied.

"....."

"....."

"........"

Fiv e minutes later....

".....Nagi?"

"Yeah Farfie?"

"Wanna screw?"

"Damn, I thought you'd never ask!" Nagi yelled as he threw himself into the waiting Irishman's arms, causing both of them to roll off the couch and onto the coffee table.

*Crash*

Ok, what 'use' to be the coffee table.

"Opps..." Nagi stated the obvious.

"Hurting Brad's coffee table hurts God," laughed Farfarello.

"Making wild animal love to me would hurt him more!"

"Good point..." And with that the psycho proceeded to shed Nagi of his clothing as quickly as possible, making quite a mess in the process as throwing the clothing about managed to knock over various pieces of fine china and at least one lamp.

"Opps, again...." the Japanese youth just laughed this time as his boxers went flying into the hallway.

Farfarello grinned down at his hot young and very naked companion sprawled out on the 'remains' of the coffee table. "I'm gonna make God hurt a lot tonight...just like I'm gonna do to your cute little ass."

"Then stop talking and do it!" Nagi practically begged, using his powers to help Farf out of his clothing.

"With pleasure!" The Irishman assaulted Nagi's salty young lips with his own beautiful chapped ones...tongues entwining in a sensual dance.

The youth groaned into his lover's mouth, naked hips grinding against the older man's. "Please Farfie...do it now...I need you...inside me...."

Well, no hormone-crazed psycho could say no to that! And so...he quickly dug around in the couch cushions till he came up with his prize...a tube of lubricant. 'Remind me to thank Schu Schu for being such a horndog later...' he thought.

"Farfie...." Nagi whimpered beneath him.

Farfarello dabbed a bit of the lube on his fingers, spreading his little lover's legs and reached down to caress his tight, sweet little entrance before pressing one long finger inside, followed by a second, then a third....

"Ahh! Oh shit Farfie..." the telepath was withering deliciously, "take me NOW!"

The Farf didn't say a word, but simply removed his fingers, spread a little lube on his painfully hard member, raised Nagi's slender legs over his shoulder, and in one swift movement...slide his length deep into the boy's body.

It was all Nagi could do to keep from screaming as waves pain/pleasure washed over him. He closed his eyes, forcing himself to relax as Farf started a slow but satisfying rhythm into him. Farfarello could be very gentle went he wanted to, after all, there was no reason to hurt his lover too much.

"You like that my little Nagi?" The psycho purred, leaning down to bite tenderly at the boy's neck.

Said boy could only reply with a noise that sounded somewhat like a cross between a mewing and a praise to a higher source (I'm not gonna say God, Farfie would hurt me). Instinctively he clutched the warm body above him for support, sharp little nails digging into his lover's back, exciting a moan from the psycho.

"Oh yesss, that's good!" Hissed Farfarello, rolling the two of them off the destroyed table....

*Crash*

...and into a floor lamp.

Not that the two sweaty bishounen noticed that...

*Clank!*

Or the set of fire pokers...

*Smash*

Or Brad's favorite vase....

"Ahh! Harder Farf! Harder!!!"

*Bang!*

"Killing the TV hurts God!!!!"

*Crash!* *Bam!* *Smack!* *Crush!*

Needless to say...some time later the Schwartz living room had been more or less destroyed and Nagi was currently bent over the back of the overturned sofa as a very happy psychopath pumped into his welcoming little ass from behind....

"Ahhh! Farfarello!" The boy screamed out hoarsely as he climaxed, spilling his seed over the back of the white leather couch. (Apparently Brad shops from the same catalog as Akio...)

Moments later his lover cried out as well, emptying himself into the waiting body beneath him.

The only sounds in the room for the next few minutes was the sound of too raspy but very satisfied breaths. Finally, Farfarello pulled out of his young lover and nearly collapsed onto the floor, pulling the boy with him into his lap.

Nagi groaned, resting his head against Farf's strong chest. "That..was really good..."

"Yeah..." was the other man's only reply, eyes closed, lovingly running his fingers through the younger's dark hair....

"Mmm...." Nagi sighed contentedly.

And the two of them might have fallen asleep right then and there on the floor if not for the fact that outside....

"I can't believe you got use banned from the theater!" Brad Crawford growled as he made his way up the front walk.

"Me? You're the one who can see into the future...you should have seen the theater attendant coming." Schuldrich pouted.

"But it was YOUR idea to go down on me in the middle of the movie!"

"You sure as hell weren't complaining at the time Bradley."

"......" The leader of Schwartz decided he might as well give up the argument as he was losing badly. "Fine..whatever...let's just go inside so we can...uh..finish...."

"Whatever you say Brad Brad."

"Don't call me t...." Crawford stopped mid sentence as his powers suddenly picked up a version he would have rather not seen.

"Brad? Uh..you ok?"

*Twitch Twitch*

"Bradykins what's the ma....eep!" Schu didn't get to finish his sentence either as his boyfriend grabbed his arm and ran into the house...

...to find tow very hot, sweaty (not to mention sticky) young men sitting in what remained of the living room.

"What...did you...do...to...my...house?!" Brad Crawford screamed.

"Having wild yaoi sex in it..." Farfarello replied deadpan.

Nagi and Schuldrich sweatdropped, Brad just kept twitching....

"Uh...we can explain really..." Nagi stood up, covering himself with a nearby couch cushion.

Crawford replied with a growl. "Don't explain...just die!"

"Oh shit!" Nagi took off like a shoot into the hall as he was now being hunted down by the vengeful Crawford.

Schuldrich rolled his eyes, so much for getting any tonight. He took a seat on the floor next to the still naked Farf and lit a smoke. "Well at least you had a good night..."

"Uh huh," Farfie smirked. "Can I bum a smoke off you?"

"Sure." Schu handed him a cigarette.

"Thanks...."

"Come back here Nagi and let me kill you!!!!"

"Ahhhhhh!!"

And so another night at the Schwartz-Lair came to an end...

*smirkers* came...

The End (really)